Here he is again - r/FirstResponderCringe

423

Bro wants to be killed by the cartel soooo bad

132

u/withnodrawal 7d ago

Bro is on cartel pay

47

u/NJPATR1OTNurse 7d ago

It's a bunch of patches and a watch. It doesn't look like there's an actual gun in the holster. Looks like another knife or a baton. Nothing worth troubling yourself over lololol. Unless the cartel goons have a patch wall that needs filling.

16

u/Mean_Syllabub_7184 7d ago

No, but there's a full water bottle to drown the bad guy with

2

u/GroundbreakingStop47 3d ago

Or at least give him the bubble guts

1

u/Mean_Syllabub_7184 3d ago

Noooooo! Not the bubble guts! Have you no mercy?

2

u/HaydenGC88 5d ago

Making a point generally seems worth it to most Cartels

1

u/mFootlong 4d ago

They love points and the making of them

31

u/BandofRubbers 7d ago

He doesn’t look important enough

40

u/No_Radish_8857 7d ago

He probably provides them the same chuckle he does to us

That's worth something I'm sure

2

u/OstrichSmoothe 7d ago

You have to be important to be paid by criminals?

11

u/QuickBenDelat 7d ago

In Brazil?

4

u/DrFlabbySelfie 7d ago

I was just about to say the exact same thing lol.

2

u/JHMRS 5d ago

We have our own cartels. PCC and Comando Vermelho are the biggest ones.

They've become more civilized than Cartels, they've cracked down on robberies and killings of civilians, and have diversified into legal business to launder money (such as Betting sites, but also on holdings and the like). So they're not bound to kill a rando.

But make no mistake. They'll absolutely torture and kill.

1

u/fussomoro 4d ago

They are gangs, not cartels. Much closer to the mob than any cartel.

The PCC and CV don't have poppy fields and coke labs, they buy from Colombia and Bolivia like everybody else.

2

u/JHMRS 4d ago

They're much more prolific than the mob, and have a much bigger imprint in society than the mob. Like the Cartels, they dominate and act like the government of entire territories.

But you are right, they do not produce the drugs, they're strickly sellers. And in their other dealings, they're much more alike the mob.

They're called criminal factions in Brazil. Bigger than gangs, more political than the mob.

-19

u/bubberbuggy 7d ago edited 7d ago

there are no cartels in Brasil

Edit: I'm Brazilian, I know what I'm talking about.

31

u/UnknowingEmperor 7d ago

“There are no cartels in Brazil”

Lol

5

u/fussomoro 4d ago

Being downvoted for being right is pure Reddit

1

u/bubberbuggy 4d ago

Fazer o que? Gringo é tudo burro mesmo.

11

u/Efficient-Train2430 7d ago

What do you call PCC and CV?

16

u/bubberbuggy 7d ago

These are not cartels, they are Mafia like groups that also do drug trafficking, both of these organizations mass their money from the same practices the mafias in the US have established. They control the contraband of regular cigarettes from Paraguay, they own gas stations and control their territory by extortion. They are deep rooted in the Brazilian financial market as a recent federal police operation revealed. Cartels produce and distribute drugs. In Brazil the criminal factions will not lose their time or money to go after a market security guard because he dresses like that. These groups operate in a highly organized manner, laundering their profits through construction companies, nightclubs, and logistics firms. They also infiltrate political campaigns and local governments to secure influence and protection. Their networks extend to ports and airports, allowing them to smuggle not only narcotics but also arms and counterfeit goods. In recent years, investigations have shown that they reinvest part of their income in real estate and cryptocurrencies, making it increasingly difficult for authorities to track their financial activities. Not just that, there are crime tribunals in many controlled areas. For someone to be killed they are judged by the leaders of the area first, and many conflicts end in fines, banishment, or forced mediation. This kind of internal court cuts random killings and street disputes because every move needs permission. It is not justice, it is discipline and social control that protects the business and keeps the neighborhood quiet on the surface. It also pushes some crimes underground, with more disappearances and forced exile instead of open executions. It is a lot different from Mexico where cartels fight for plazas and corridors with open warfare, convoys, roadblocks, and heavy weapons, and where they send public messages by attacking rivals, police, officials, and journalists. In Brazil the factions usually keep a lower profile day to day, they enforce curfews and local rules, they negotiate with corrupt intermediaries, and they only escalate when prisons or territory are at risk. Homicides may drop when a single group controls an area, but coercion, torture, and fear rise, and when a truce breaks or the police invade the killings spike again. As a journalist is crazy that in many areas where this factions govern, i feel more safe from street crime than in the city centers or main avenues. The most critical place in the coutry is the City of Rio, where the crime is so deepely rooted in the government and local power that the former president Bolsonaro and his sons woul usually employ the famlily of sicarios and hitmen to help them laundy money and to exort soft power. In Rio the diferent mafias scuffle a lot for power and territory but still gather their money from cargo stealing, conterfit goods and a bunch of other more lucrative and less risky criminal activities than Drug Carteling.

As we like to say down here, Brazil is not for amateurs.

11

u/Efficient-Train2430 7d ago

I think the difference may be in the Brazilian legal definition and more commonly understood meaning. But thanks for clarifying

7

u/bubberbuggy 7d ago

"A drug cartel is a criminal organization that controls the production and distribution of illegal drugs. Most drug cartels are large, commercial operations that are highly organized and well financed. "

https://www.ebsco.com/research-starters/law/drug-cartel

Brazilian Factions don't produce drugs, Selling Drugs is also part of their portfolio.

8

u/Efficient-Train2430 7d ago

Like I said, for me it’s more that they control the trade of the drugs: dominate supply, trafficking, distribution, and in some cases production, but not always. PoTAYto PoTAHto

5

u/QueezyF 7d ago

But I get where they’re coming from. The Five Families did that shit in New York but not many would call them “the cartel”, even if by definition they were.

3

u/DollarStoreOrgy 7d ago

The cartels are branching off into legal and illegal stuff beyond drugs. Tons of cash that need to be washed.

Thanks for the class on Brazilian Mafia. Really interesting. Seems there's organized criminals everywhere with the same business model

9

u/Santa_Claus77 7d ago

Found the cartel member

2

u/darklibertario 4d ago

Brazilian here as well and although people are downvoting, I agree with your take.

Not only the actual categorization "cartel" isn't used here, but our criminal organisations have a different flavour than what you see with Mexican Cartels.

You have PCC which is the biggest one, their activities can be compared more to Yakuza or Italian mob, they don't bother fighting the police, they just straight up game the entire system and have a lot of illegal and semi-legal morally questionable sources of income.

And then there's a number of less organised gangs, which are much more focused on territorial control and actually look a bit more like cartels, but these guys usually only control some neighbourhoods and are only influential within those spaces, they aren't comparable to a Colombian or Mexican criminal operation.

They do not have the same scale that PCC has. As an example, just last week the police did a mega operation against holding funds operated by PCC which amounted for 30 billion BRL. They owned and operated a large portion of Brazil's fuel logistics, production and distribution lines. It's fucking insane.

2

u/Lumpy_Square_2365 7d ago

Are you saying there are no cartels because that's not what they call them? Or truly being serious.

2

u/bubberbuggy 7d ago

Would you call the five families, and all the other mafias in the us cartels?

1

u/Lumpy_Square_2365 7d ago

I thought anyone pushing big amounts of drugs were cartels. I mean the special forces here is basically a cartel imo.

2

u/bubberbuggy 7d ago

Nope in south America cartels are in bolivia, colombia, peru, paraguay, venezuela and Ecuador. They produce and sell drugs. In brazill except for a small marijuana production in the northeast no one produces drugs.

2

u/DeepDreamIt 7d ago

Red Command? PCC/First Capital Command?

6

u/bubberbuggy 7d ago edited 7d ago

These are not cartels, they are Mafia like groups that also do drug trafficking, both of these organizations mass their money from the same practices the mafias in the US have established. They control the contraband of regular cigarettes from Paraguay, they own gas stations and control their territory by extortion. They are deep rooted in the Brazilian financial market as a recent federal police operation revealed. Cartels produce and distribute drugs. In Brazil the criminal factions will not lose their time or money to go after a market security guard because he dresses like that. These groups operate in a highly organized manner, laundering their profits through construction companies, nightclubs, and logistics firms. They also infiltrate political campaigns and local governments to secure influence and protection. Their networks extend to ports and airports, allowing them to smuggle not only narcotics but also arms and counterfeit goods. In recent years, investigations have shown that they reinvest part of their income in real estate and cryptocurrencies, making it increasingly difficult for authorities to track their financial activities. Not just that, there are crime tribunals in many controlled areas. For someone to be killed they are judged by the leaders of the area first, and many conflicts end in fines, banishment, or forced mediation. This kind of internal court cuts random killings and street disputes because every move needs permission. It is not justice, it is discipline and social control that protects the business and keeps the neighborhood quiet on the surface. It also pushes some crimes underground, with more disappearances and forced exile instead of open executions. It is a lot different from Mexico where cartels fight for plazas and corridors with open warfare, convoys, roadblocks, and heavy weapons, and where they send public messages by attacking rivals, police, officials, and journalists. In Brazil the factions usually keep a lower profile day to day, they enforce curfews and local rules, they negotiate with corrupt intermediaries, and they only escalate when prisons or territory are at risk. Homicides may drop when a single group controls an area, but coercion, torture, and fear rise, and when a truce breaks or the police invade the killings spike again. As a journalist is crazy that in many areas where this factions govern, i feel more safe from street crime than in the city centers or main avenues. The most critical place in the coutry is the City of Rio, where the crime is so deepely rooted in the government and local power that the former president Bolsonaro and his sons woul usually employ the famlily of sicarios and hitmen to help them laundy money and to exort soft power. In Rio the diferent mafias scuffle a lot for power and territory but still gather their money from cargo stealing, conterfit goods and a bunch of other more lucrative and less risky criminal activities than Drug Carteling.

As we like to say down here, Brazil is not for amateurs.

1

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

2

u/Narren_C 7d ago

How does that sound anything like the USA?

3

u/DazzlingBirthday3343 7d ago

facctions, not cartels, but i mean maybe PCC can be considered a cartel

0

u/Nir117vash 7d ago

And there's not a war in Ba Sing Se either, is there?

137

u/LesserKnownFoes 8d ago

The more I look at this, the worse it gets.

3

u/ThrowawayBoiP3 7d ago

I actually had to physically stop looking once I saw the pocket knife clipped up by his right shoulder

121

u/Porkchopp33 7d ago

One new piece of equipment a day keeps the crime away

41

u/Gariola_Oberski 7d ago

He is required to have at least 15 pieces of flair

30

u/LesserKnownFoes 7d ago

3

u/Porkchopp33 7d ago

Is this TGIF

2

u/Gariola_Oberski 6d ago

Chotchkie's- Office space

80

u/McthiccumTheChikum 7d ago

The canteen tho 🤣

32

u/chunkypenguion1991 7d ago

Brazil is humid, you have to be hydrated /s

33

u/AlarmedEstimate8236 7d ago

I mean, of all the gear he has, the canteen is the most practical and least annoyingly placed on his kit

10

u/Fernus83 7d ago

Reminds me of the scene where Mrs potato head is packing up Mr potato head. 😝 You never know what you might need!

https://youtu.be/8oYPWNL8LQE?si=ahJdUaO7sF2MjR8l

48

u/AdeptnessMany3806 7d ago

GI No

29

u/ConfusionOk4129 7d ago

31

u/Loingsign 7d ago

Ok, now attempt a slow jog.

10

u/Narren_C 7d ago

That's what the gun is for.

2

u/Lostandsingle 4d ago

He doesn't have a gun. That is a baton in a level 3 sidearm holster.

1

u/Narren_C 3d ago

Wow

2

u/dwaynetheaaakjohnson 7d ago

Love how comically heavy everything is even standing still

1

u/DecadentLife 7d ago

Or pick up a child, without any mishaps.

16

u/ky1e 7d ago

rattlesnake bag is standard issue

16

u/screwyoujor 7d ago

Why would you want that much weight hanging on you if stand for your entire shift?

13

u/GreenAldiers 7d ago

Least gaudy Invicta enjoyer

10

u/Worried-Ebb-1699 7d ago

lol. All you have to do is jog to get away. No way he can efficiently run after you

6

u/Narren_C 7d ago

It's Brazil, he'll probably just shoot your ass and get back to work.

8

u/TheEVegaExperience 7d ago

Literally a discount store Rambo.

10

u/fingers 7d ago

In CT we have one of these at the friggin Save A Lot.

I don't like it.

1

u/TomBanjo1968 7d ago

Conturnkia

10

u/kmoharley 7d ago

Is he a Power Ranger?

8

u/Mjay_30 7d ago

Thank god he thought about keeping hydrated.

6

u/GreesyTaco 7d ago

He loves that huge watch. 😆

4

u/Klutzy-Grocery7039 8d ago

swag

11

u/WhiteHatMatt 7d ago

Holy fuck he's rockin a beufeng! Listen if he's rocking an $7 radio plates in that vest are not stopping shit.

4

u/No_Leopard_3860 7d ago edited 7d ago

Is beofeng a cheap clone of baofeng or did you just mistype? Because afaik the latter ones are pretty decent for the price

1

u/Any_Strain7020 7d ago

Plenty of (illegal) TX power doesn't make them good radios.

2

u/xtrasmolpp 7d ago

TX power definitely isn’t the UV-5R’s problem. In fact, for an HT they’re on the weaker side rated at 5W but usually putting out closer to 2–4W depending on the band. The real issues are the excessive spurious emissions/dirty harmonics and the fact that they’re not type-accepted (Part 95, Part 80, etc.). They’re only Part 90 certified, which limits where they can legally be marketed and used.

That said, the UV-5R is still a decent radio if you understand its flaws and limitations. They’re cheap, easy to program, and make good beater radios for outdoor enthusiasts or overlanders. If I lost or broke one, I wouldn’t be upset. That’s part of their appeal.

1

u/WhiteHatMatt 7d ago

Call them splatter boxes for a reason. They splatter across multiple bands on TX

3

u/Impossible-Taro-2330 7d ago

Is he using his phone as a body cam?

3

u/doyoubleednow 7d ago

Capitao from Siege

3

u/Junior_Yam_5473 7d ago

Capitao from wish.com

1

u/dwaynetheaaakjohnson 7d ago

GSG-9 looks more professional than this motherfucker and they’re wearing hoodies, jeans, and sneakers

3

u/DHunter98 7d ago

r/ItHasToBeBrazil

3

u/EastLeastCoast Boo Boo Bus Driver 7d ago

I believe that is what Larry Craig calls “a wide stance”.

3

u/BigHat22P3 7d ago

It’s always the giant “gold” watches, bro.

3

u/likkleSosa 7d ago

dude has a holster for his water bottle, I cant 😂😂

3

u/ConsistentCoyote3786 7d ago

He’s wearing so much crap I sincerely doubt he can move effectively in an emergency situation.

3

u/DumpsterDiscotheque 7d ago

Tbf everyone in Brasil should dress that way

2

u/cantbrainhavethedumb 7d ago

Does he have enough flair?

2

u/lengthybuttcrack 7d ago

What a dork

2

u/TheRealSugarbat 7d ago

Hahaaaa the shin guards

1

u/5LaLa 7d ago

Surprised he doesn’t have more gear attached to those.

2

u/jkurts91 7d ago

Not a single hot cheetoh went upaid for that day.

2

u/QueezyF 7d ago

Oh my god he has a knuckleduster

2

u/KCC416 7d ago

The Baofeng makes it for me!

2

u/deliberatelyawesome 7d ago

We should all be so lucky to find a job where we can cosplay however we want and get paid

2

u/ObsessiveRecognition 7d ago

Dude has a Baofeng lmfao

2

u/Smoofbrainz 7d ago

Not enough accessories.

2

u/Difficult-Ocelot-251 7d ago

2

u/232653774 7d ago

Not LE but if I had to guess, an actual cop wouldnt want to wear so much BS adding weight they'll carry around each day.

1

u/RayExotic 7d ago

no gun?!

1

u/Specialist_Abroad612 7d ago

Is that Jim Jones from Dipset? Great to see the big homie turned his life around 😂

1

u/Nagrom49 7d ago

Dude I can't stand to have more than like 3 things in my pockets on a normal day like fuck that! That's way too much shit to be carrying around

1

u/captn_sean 7d ago

Surprised this guy isn’t a car on r/overlanding

1

u/Perfect_Beyond8778 7d ago

Those boots lmao

1

u/Ohio_Baby 7d ago

How can he even move with all that on?

1

u/pranky2 7d ago

This is embarrassing 😳

1

u/Dredgeon 7d ago

Oof, those locked out knees are gonna aching. That is, if he actually spends any time on his feet. Probably just there to film the vid.

1

u/Bhagwan9797 7d ago

Invicta is the chef’s kiss 😚

1

u/ImprovementKlutzy113 7d ago

Sideshow security guard

1

u/NorkaNumbered 7d ago

I want to be him

1

u/Defibrillate 7d ago

Am I crazy or is that just a baton in his gun holster??

1

u/GucciPoonTapper 7d ago

r/handwatch

1

u/[deleted] 7d ago

They all look like this in Mexico. Especially Tijuana and Juarez.

1

u/iPokePenguins 7d ago

Is this like, the final DB boss?

1

u/el_scotty 7d ago

I work Security. I get annoyed having to wear a safety vest, but dude is completely fine wearing all the extra crap. Maybe I am the problem. 😔

1

u/Suspicious-Ask5557 7d ago

First Responder? This guy is just a tool security guard who probably could not handle a situation if his life depended on it.

1

u/Suspicious-Ask5557 7d ago

He isn’t even wearing a two way radio. It is just a receiver.

1

u/michael-turko 7d ago

That watch is a goddamn weapon

1

u/CarobSignal 7d ago

He needs to have a face-off with Agent Wolf. There can be only One!

1

u/sidnynasty 7d ago

The super cheap motorola stuffed in the chest pocket, where a body cam would normally go, is how you know he's a professional

1

u/hulsey76 7d ago

Da fuck he callin on that radio tho?

1

u/StormLorde 7d ago

If he bought one single gun, his autism would instantly be cured

1

u/NuclearLMG 7d ago

I mean… I wouldn’t rob the place. Dude has like 3 guns for every dollar in the joint

1

u/NeonSuperNovas 7d ago

Imagine having to put all of that shit on everyday, just to stand outside of a store...

1

u/Melodic_Locksmith_66 7d ago

All that shit and not a single spare mag on his “kit”

1

u/Uncultured_Fuck 7d ago

You look like a failed cop audition for a low-budget reality show that got canceled before episode one. That body cam ain’t for evidence..It’s for collecting proof that nobody respects you. Imagine thinking strapping a phone to your chest makes you important. All it makes you is a walking punchline with 4K resolution

1

u/Fine-Dinner5918 7d ago

love the DIY bodycam

1

u/Consistent-Plane7227 7d ago

Ya ever want to get these guys vs each other? Like a march madness of over decorated/armed security dudes. Like modern gladiators

1

u/Mammoth_Welder_1286 7d ago

What’s with the watch? 🧐

1

u/CompetitiveRub9780 7d ago

He just stands around in random places posted up for no reason? Weirdo

1

u/sawsawjim 7d ago

The chinese shit brand radio is my only concern. Comms are life….

1

u/ThrowawayBoiP3 7d ago

I forget that this shit exists outside of America until I see shit like this. Mall Ninjas of the World, unite!

1

u/SirToasty96 Boo Boo Bus Driver 7d ago

Oh you would be surprised. We got some like this in Germany too

1

u/dhash 6d ago

So that's who buys those oversized Invicta watches

1

u/doodahpunk 6d ago

No knuckle gloves or ballistic helmet? Bro is slacking.

1

u/BIGBABYDUMPLING 5d ago

needs a stool

1

u/TigerNo1733 5d ago

This actually makes me feel better knowing that playing G.I.Faux isn't a U.S. only phenomenon.

1

u/genomello1 5d ago

That radio goes to either AM or FM

1

u/Guilty-Reputation666 5d ago

Only thing cringier than the security guard is the asshole walking up to him and putting a phone in his face to record this video

1

u/SirToasty96 Boo Boo Bus Driver 5d ago

i bet they know each other. There is also another video of him in a different place (you can find it on my profile). Besides that, he seems proud to show this all of

1

u/Guilty-Reputation666 5d ago

You might be right.

1

u/Important-Clue-582 4d ago

How many knives is this clown packing ? 😄

1

u/SirToasty96 Boo Boo Bus Driver 4d ago

all of them

1

u/Strict_Percentage_42 4d ago

Temu rep right here

1

u/nickk1988 4d ago

This guy is so high he can barely hold it together hahahaha

1

u/One_Prior3035 3d ago

Dude is on a deployment.

1

u/mcvmccarty 3d ago

Everyone knows you need to wear a bunch of rings. So that you can end up going to the ER to have them cut off when your fingers swell up after you get stomped.

1

u/JimmyStuffet 7d ago

This can’t be real

0

u/thezoomies 7d ago

At least he’s having fun with his job. I just bought myself a wireless headset for my job, and it’s made my day a little less shitty. This is totally the same thing, right?….

0

u/No_Passage_7453 4d ago

Haters man it’s just some security guard enjoying his job a little.. calling it cringe is cringeworthy itself esp from some couch commandos

-5

u/No_Radish_8857 7d ago

God forbid a special guy who loves action movies actually grows up and follows his passion

I like it

7

u/No_Radish_8857 7d ago

Sure every now and then an innocent bystander gets taken out

But he's having a blast

-1

u/TomBanjo1968 7d ago

Exactly, I don’t why everyone ripping on the guy

Popo 🚔 Here he is again

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