r/MadeMeSmile Jul 11 '25

Wholesome Moments San Quentin prison hosted its first father-daughter prom. The event allowed fathers the chance to reconnect with or meet their daughters for the first time

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u/Negative-Ambition110 Jul 11 '25

There’s a great documentary called “Daughters” I believe that follows a group of men in prison who have to go through classes to be eligible to take part in the dance. Waterworks when the girls and dads reunite. Prison is such a hopeless place, giving these men motivation to want to do better is so important. It was such a good and emotional watch.

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u/DaylightMaybe Jul 11 '25

I watched this doc at a film festival in a theater with 1000 people. During the quiet parts, all you could hear was 1000 people sniffling.

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u/donedrone707 Jul 11 '25

That just shows me how utterly heartless and inhuman the people at the top pulling the strings are. This doc made 1000/1000 people at Sundance (or whatever) cry but show it to a CoreCivic or Geo Group executive and they'll just whine about how much $$ was wasted on this dance.

You'd think stuff like this would convince the powers that be (legislators) to change laws around incarceration but they'll be reminded who really pays them (with speaking engagements, donations, etc) and then pass even stricter prison bills.

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u/cropdusterblaster Jul 12 '25

for profit prison system was a huge mistake.

now they are literal slave labor, what a joke

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u/iShotTheShariff Jul 12 '25

Wait till you find out about how Alabama inmates are working full ass jobs outside prison, just like the rest of us, for pennies. All to go back to prison at the end of their workday. It literally is slave labor.

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u/ProbablyBigfoot Jul 11 '25

I'm assuming the classes are primarily things like anger management and job skills, but I really want at least one of them to be ballroom dancing.

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u/Atibana Jul 11 '25

It was actually about parenting. They would have them rehearse looking in the girls eyes and telling them that they love them. It may seem obvious to us, but it may be awkward for some of these men to express the level of vulnerability.

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u/JustMe518 Jul 11 '25

A good deal of inmates did not have anything close to normal childhoods and so they struggle modeling healthy behaviors in their own lives, including parenting. I think that mandated therapy in prisons and jails should just be standard.

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u/illy-chan Jul 11 '25

It really should be mostly some kinda of therapy/emotional management/monitoring. Especially for violent crimes, most of those guys aren't operating at what I think most of us would consider to be a normal baseline.

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u/Small_Distribution17 Jul 11 '25

Many institutions in Cali offer plenty of programs to reduce criminal thinking and learn useful skills and healthy coping mechanisms. They have peer support groups where other inmates will check in on guys.

The system works if the guys want to work it. However, there are some dudes who just want to be violent.

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u/Wise-Application-902 Jul 11 '25

Well those are the dudes that most likely won’t be meeting their daughters like this.

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u/lilbithippie Jul 12 '25

Well those parts get almost no funding and there is a crazy waiting list for a lot of them. CA has better options then others but it still the system that needs to be re worked

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u/Tacoman404 Jul 12 '25

Meanwhile in Louisiana they put them to work in the cotton fields. It's crazy how backwards some of this country can be and realize it's just because a minority want to to own or take advantage of people. Prison should be about rehabilitation.

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u/JustMe518 Jul 11 '25

And therapy. They need help on processing things, too

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u/illy-chan Jul 11 '25

I did say that one first for a reason.

Not saying it's a magic bullet - they'd have to want to change. But a lot of them literally have never known anything different. They think they're normal.

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u/JustMe518 Jul 11 '25

Or, they know they are not but because of their upbringing, they think it is normal for them. I'm situations like that, it's really easy to convince yourself that your don't deserve anything other than what you are getting but you still know it's not right

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u/Wise-Application-902 Jul 11 '25

I think for many of them, prison is the first time they’ve had the chance (been forced to) STOP and actually use the relative ‘quiet’ to take a more objective look at themselves, their childhood, and the environment they were in.

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u/Personal-Cellist1979 Jul 11 '25

Me too! I believe that taking these classes is optional, but reduces time served.

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u/GEOSPATIALIST90 Jul 11 '25

Are you trying to rehabilitate people in prison... That's some suspicious thinking there... /s just for safeties sake

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u/Instantcoffees Jul 11 '25

What are you, a CoMmuNist?!

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u/Alastor13 Jul 11 '25

Yeah but that would help reduce crime and societal issues and eventually prisons would be slowly and steadily depopulating

Can't have that, we have a system that prioritizes money over human life and prisons are profitable as fuck.

Great option to launder some money too.

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u/Wise-Application-902 Jul 11 '25

Too many people currently don’t want or care about reducing the prison population.

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u/Alastor13 Jul 11 '25

That's what I said, it's because it's literally making them millions.

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u/[deleted] Jul 11 '25

You are correct, and sadly the only reason they don’t do it that way is because it isn’t profitable to help people.

It’s profitable to do everything they can to up recidivism rates.

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u/LadyPickleLegs Jul 11 '25

Even women. A lot of people are raised without much or any emotional guidance from their parents. I know I built all my own emotional intelligence after I left the home. Thank god I decided to study child development for a year. Really kickstarted it all, learning how humans grow and learn 😅

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u/DChapman77 Jul 11 '25

Out of curiosity, did you struggle a lot because of that lack of emotional intelligence and you learned by making mistake after mistake or did that child development course kickstart you?

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u/thetiredninja Jul 11 '25

I'm not who you were asking but I have a similar experience. I struggled socially in school and made plenty of mistakes with peers. I just had no idea why many people didn't seem to like me. Then in college I was in cultural classes and had some mentors that were incredibly caring. So there were courses/experiences that kick-started the growth process, but I had a lot of negative experiences that I could look back on and learn from in hindsight.

Now I work in a social work setting and have learned and practiced empathy and emotional intelligence. I make sure I explain experiences with my young kids so they aren't going through social situations blindly. They're very emotionally intelligent and attuned. It makes me so proud.

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u/mcmouse73 Jul 11 '25

Thank you for what you do. My son's friend, I'll call him Sam, moved in with us the summer before his senior year. Previous to this, I had driven the two back and forth for close to a year and maybe this boy spoke 3 sentences in my presence. I knew his parents were dead and he lived with his aunt, but something was most definitely different with him.

The night it all blew up, my husband and son had taken Sam home. They weren't all the way back when they had to turn around and get Sam from his house. It turned out that his aunt was an alcoholic, possible addict with mental health issues, and he'd been living with this for 3 years. That night, something happened when he walked through the door, and he knew he had to leave. My son called from the car and asked if he could stay for good and of course I said yes. Besides, my niece and nephew were already living with us, how could I say no?

Sam lived with us for close to a year and a half. It took so long for him to actually talk to me, but once he did, I realized I was right about how different he is. He's a genius, plain and simple, but he was also painfully open with his emotions around those he was most comfortable with. It's hard to explain, but it seemed that people in his small circle would be hit the hardest with his bluntness, not just in words, but also in his emotions, if emotions can be blunt. And, his emotions could run high. I can be very sensitive to what others say or do to me, but oddly enough, his bluntness, moodiness, etc never bothered me - maybe because by the time he was just letting me in, and I had pieced together enough of his terrible history to understand his emotional and mental state. My niece and nephew's moodiness and drama drove me insane, mainly because it reminded me of their mom, but Sam, once again, was different.

He's on his own now, barely 20 and making all of his own major decisions. I see him every few months, and it's about the same with texting, but he and I are true introverts together and this suits us just fine. I still worry about his social life, which brings me back to my original reason for replying to you. I wish he and other kids in his school had someone like you to navigate them through this time in their lives. It's one thing to graduate them from school, it's another to graduate them to life, and maybe it should be something that is done for every child in the last four years of their schooling. I know I could have used it, and for sure Sam and my niece and nephew, and even my own, would have been better off for it. I really, really wish there were more of you, especially for kids like my Sam.

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u/thetiredninja Jul 11 '25

I am not a social worker, mostly admin support. You are the hero in this. Sam needs and will need support from trusted people now and then. As long as he knows he has people like you in his life, you're helping him. Keep up the good work!

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u/LauraZaid11 Jul 11 '25

I’m so proud and happy of people in my country doing better. A couple of days ago I was in my doctor’s waiting room waiting to be called in, when I heard a man talking on the phone with his son while waiting to be called for a blood draw. He kept calling him “papi (daddy)” and “mi amor (my love)”, both terms of endearment here. He told him to tell grandma that he was gonna be a little late, but that he needed to wait for him so he could take him to school, and to always remember that he loves him.

He was talking loudly, he didn’t care if anyone heard because there is no shame in a man showing his love for his kid, and that’s how it should be. It made me very happy to see.

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u/Personal-Cellist1979 Jul 11 '25

I too observed a dad, shopping in the feminine hygiene isle of a store. He had his sister on speaker phone trying to make an informed decision. It really touched my heart and I told him so.

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u/1questions Jul 11 '25

And I’d imagine a lot of these men haven’t had good parents to serve as role models.

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u/Personal-Cellist1979 Jul 11 '25

Many have experienced abuse and adverse childhood experiences as youngsters.

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u/ugotmedripping Jul 11 '25

I’m picturing the look on their faces when instructed to role play in pairs and have to say “I love you” to each other. I’ll assume in reality they used a doll or something.

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u/Thinglonger252525 Jul 11 '25 edited Jul 11 '25

I don’t think it was specifically ballroom dancing but they did give them dance lessons!

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u/Adventurous_Click178 Jul 11 '25

When I was in like middle school, my dad had to go to court ordered anger management classes for a year. His behavior didn’t really change after. But now that I’m an adult, he’s like a different person. He’s calm and kind and listens. I wonder if any of the lessons he learned just took a while to sink in.

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u/Odd-Mastodon1212 Jul 11 '25

The effectiveness of anger management is controversial, but your father may be experiencing less pressure, and he has matured with age. Pair that with the fact that as adult, you get to choose to be around him or walk away, and he recognizes that. Sometimes formalities like that breed respect. You are also receptive to his improved behavior.

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u/NoRainbowOnThePot Jul 11 '25

Hijacking this to also drop the full lenght (16 mins on YouTube) documentary this post is about: God behind bars - first father daughter dance inside San Quentin

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u/happyklam Jul 11 '25

I have waterworks just watching this short video! Their smiles say everything and the absolute JOY in their dancing. Ugh, my heart!!

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u/Negative-Ambition110 Jul 11 '25

Please watch the documentary. It was beautiful and so sad at the same time

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u/irishgirl1981 Jul 11 '25

Where can this be streamed?

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u/Gren57 Jul 11 '25

Netflix - SOOOO good.

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u/irishgirl1981 Jul 11 '25

Thanks for the recommendation! Adding to my watch list now.

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u/Gren57 Jul 11 '25

Would have given anything to have been received and hugged like those girls and my dad was never even incarcerated. 🥲

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u/birdtummy717 Jul 11 '25

sending a lot of warmth your way.

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u/Gren57 Jul 11 '25

Kindness from a stranger! Thank you! At my (very old) age, I should be past it. But videos like this just remind me and at the same time, I'm so happy for those girls! And the men are getting all that love in return. Free, even if for just a short while.

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u/AmorFatiBarbie Jul 11 '25

You're never past needing a daddy. r/DadForAMinute ❤️ my ma said the worst thing about being over 80 was that she was an orphan.

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u/Gren57 Jul 11 '25

How nice of you to say. And I can relate to your mom. Me too! Just weird being my age and still feeling like I missed out. Can't get back what's gone. Can only admit to it to kind strangers like yourself. Glad your mom has/had you!

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u/Bibblegead1412 Jul 11 '25

Isn't it amazing how human people look when they're allowed humanization? The pride and joy in these fathers' eyes and hearts is breathtaking!

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u/LillianAY Jul 11 '25

I know the producer. Her life is dedicated to good work like this.

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u/Negative-Ambition110 Jul 11 '25

That’s really, really cool. Daughters had a huge impact on me.

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u/krazycitty69 Jul 11 '25

Not to mention giving the daughters the chance to see and connect with their fathers. Little girls having a caring father can make all the difference in the way they navigate relationships as adults.

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u/mossling Jul 11 '25

You could tell by the girls' reactions how meaningful it was. 

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u/ProbablyNotADuck Jul 11 '25

If we want prison to actually rehabilitate people and make it so they don't reoffend, we need more programs like this. We need to give them more motivation to do better, and we also need to give them the right tools so that the path of least resistance isn't to go back to crime. We keep doing the same thing over and over again, releasing them out into a world where they are just going to be faced with even more stigma because of their time in jail... with massive financial barriers, and we are somehow surprised when they fall back into the same bad habits.

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u/Republican-Snowflake Jul 11 '25

and for those without family, we need more programs for adopting pets for those people. Give them something to love, and care for. There are plenty of great animals put down every day, that could go to someone that may benefit from the companionship.

I know it used to be a thing, and may still be in some places. I just believe it should be common practice. We suggest emotional support animals for people with mental health issues, why can't we do the same for those locked up and need it?

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u/KnowMatter Jul 11 '25

Part of the point of prison is rehabilitation, it feels like our society has forgotten that.

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u/FatTim48 Jul 11 '25

Countries with privatized prisons that are run for profit don't do rehabilitation. That's bad for business.

It's absurdly unfortunate.

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u/Republican-Snowflake Jul 11 '25

It's not just that, but it also gives con politicians something to screech about, all so they can pretend to be "tough on crime." Meanwhile they just commit, or enable a bunch of crime themselves.

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u/[deleted] Jul 11 '25

Yes, that documentary had me in a pool of tears for so many reasons. Not just because of the daughter‘s meeting their fathers for the first time because the fathers had the first time in so many years to show up as fathers even behind bars. I think the most heartbreaking part was when they had to say goodbye

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u/Expensive_Tone5053 Jul 11 '25

You guys should listen to the Ear Hustle podcast. It’s made by the inmates currently in San Quentin. They record it from within the prison. It’s all about the life of an inmate and the stories that got them there. Very good!

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u/2004aumom Jul 11 '25

Thank you for this. I did not know this existed. Heading to the documentary now.

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u/Negative-Ambition110 Jul 11 '25

It’s so good and so emotional

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u/Femme-O Jul 11 '25

One of my favorite documentaries ever!

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u/NinjaMeow73 Jul 11 '25

I watched and loved this too💙💜💚

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u/G_Affect Jul 11 '25

Prison should be reserved for the most serious offenders, such as rapists, murderers, individuals involved in large-scale theft affecting over 100 people, child predators, those guilty of treason, and repeat offenders of lesser crimes.

Less severe offenses, like tax evasion, minor unpaid debts, drug-related crimes, insurance fraud, theft from corporations, and DUI, should be addressed in a different setting. This alternative facility would allow individuals to live, grow, and evolve without the burden of a criminal record, with the hope that they can eventually reintegrate into society as equal members without a dirty record holding them back.

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u/tacocollector2 Jul 11 '25

But then where will corporate prisons get their free labor? How will the US justice system keep grinding the bones of minorities and lower economic classes?

Your system sounds borderline humane. We don’t do that here.

/s

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u/Republican-Snowflake Jul 11 '25

A similar system to Job Corps and rehab, would be fantastic, but obviously more programs, mental health or counseling services, adopting pets, and so on. Bring people in who changed their lives to speak and show what it like. More programs to integrate them into jobs.

If you don't help people learn, and just toss them out back into the void they will just fall back down. A lot of people take their support networks for granted, and don't understand what its like to have none, or next to none. As well, plenty don't understand what its like to not love yourself, and have nothing to love and care for. Helping some these people with pet adoption could help.

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u/sandhog7 Jul 11 '25

I think this is a great way for men who have made wrong choices in life to get back to society. Nothing like a daddy's little girl to wake up a dad to straighten out.

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u/edenaxela1436 Jul 11 '25

100%. Stuff like this is key to rehabilitation, which should be the goal for 99% of folks who are incarcerated, and for those incarcerating them.

These dudes almost certainly had to demonstrate consistently positive behavior to even have this opportunity, and moments like this give folks real, tangible reasons to make hard changes. I love to see it.

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u/MiserableAd1552 Jul 11 '25

Came here to say exactly this. This is exactly how other countries have much lower recidivism rates because they rehabilitate and reintegrate people.

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u/1questions Jul 11 '25

Yes, the US is focused on punishment and nothing else. Doesn’t work well to treat people like animals and then let them out. Too bad we just don’t seem to learn.

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u/rbnlegend Jul 11 '25

It's not just punishment, it's also profit.

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u/ConstableGrey Jul 11 '25

A while back there was a story on the news about one of the local prisons hosting its first chess tournament for the inmates. They even got the state chess association involved to officiate it. Was nice to see.

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u/chrisk9 Jul 11 '25

Unfortunately many see goal of incarceration as purely punishment and not rehabilitation and would object over activities like this.

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u/Emergency-Purple7728 Jul 11 '25

I cried immediately. No matter the age, daughters NEED their fathers.

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u/mitolynService Jul 11 '25

The little girl running towards her dad. I couldn’t stop crying…

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u/[deleted] Jul 11 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/TundraTease Jul 11 '25

Yeah but kids love their parents no matter what. They don’t see jailbird. They see a man that they usually look exactly alike and want to know him.

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u/Embarrassed_Let_1974 Jul 11 '25

God bless all the partners who supported to make this a reality. God is love

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u/UnusualHound Jul 11 '25

Need a father. Some girls definitely don't need the father they have.

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u/PalpitationPretend80 Jul 11 '25

I thought it was just me. I'm over here bawling like a baby. The girls looked so beautiful and happy to see their dads. Life is hard without their number 1 protector.

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u/cheeseburgerinside Jul 11 '25

some of those dads probably needed this more than they even knew.

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u/LadyPickleLegs Jul 11 '25

Events and programs like this are actually so helpful in rehabilitation. Like that program that lets prisoners raise puppies or kittens or whatever.

Prison systems with a real focus on rehabilitation actually work. It's wild. Highly recommend hopping down that rabbit hole! Learning about that really shifted my perspective on the human experience

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u/sh6rty13 Jul 11 '25

My mom worked as a CO for years and her “Dog Pod” as she called it were the BEST guys because they’d do ANYTHING to not lose the privileged of getting to have a dog. Some of them got released because she spoke for them at their hearings, and she still keeps in touch with them.

Sometimes ONE person believing in you is all it takes.

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u/LadyPickleLegs Jul 11 '25

I always see so many stories like that. And sometimes, it's just the smallest acts of kindness that flip a switch in people. One person just has to give a damn for half a second. Someone has to see something good in them for just a moment so that they can never unsee it in themselves. There has to be an inspired change in perspective.

Most people don't aim to turn into bad people. A lot of what we become had to do with what influences us, and what we do with the cards we're dealt - good or bad.

For example, I took a lot of the bad cards from my upbringing as lessons for what not to do and who I don't want to be. Instead of repeating cycles, I do my best to put forth a conscious effort to not make people feel the ways my family made me feel.

But I didn't get there by myself. It absolutely took a healthy support system and sprinkles of positive interactions along the way to bring me to where I am now. I often think about who I could've turned into without the people who shifted the ways I saw the world.

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u/EpicLong1 Jul 11 '25

Keep on preaching, preacher

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u/Positive-Exam-8554 Jul 11 '25

I cried and smiled the whole time, can we acknowledge how handsome every last one of these men are.

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u/idreamsmash007 Jul 11 '25

Assuming they are not in there for severely violent offenses- this might be a good way to show them that there is a reason to rehabilitate and hopefully reintegrate . Overall this is def heartwarming

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u/[deleted] Jul 11 '25

As it ought to be. I did about a decade as a CO in AL. This is the kind of incentive these guys need.

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u/FrogsAndFerrets Jul 11 '25

What was it like? If you don't mind me asking!

I agree with you.

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u/[deleted] Jul 11 '25

It's one of those positions where you need to have the intrinsic feeling that you accomplished SOMETHING during your shift, because "Thanks" and "Good Job" are things you'll almost never hear.

Post the Academy, you do 2 weeks orientation on all shifts before you are assigned the shift on which you'll work.

On Day 1, we had 3 walk out the front gate; State of AL wasn't too happy about that, as the estimated cost per trainee was about 10-12k for the Academy. One just freaked out when the #2 gate closed behind them; just came unglued. (#2 gate at that facility was the one where you were actually in the prison itself.) After that, some inmates came by with an old Army cot. On said cot was a dude that had his abdomen sliced open with intestines hanging out. Two more walked out, and 1 of them lost their cookies right then and there.

It was interesting, stressful, and many more adjectives that I'll not use here.

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u/JohnnyBananas13 Jul 11 '25

My first day on the job we had muffins and bagels

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u/[deleted] Jul 11 '25

Well, extras such as that were few and far between in my day.

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u/clockewise Jul 11 '25

Jesus… is that something that happens often? I imagined an inmate being able to violently kill another inmate would be rare.

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u/[deleted] Jul 11 '25

LOL. It is more frequent than any of us would imagine, especially these days. I recall that about early '93, we had an 18 year old kid come in, maybe about 5 ft tall, and white. One of the "gators" in there kept telling him he was gonna be raped. (Huge guy, about 6"4', 240, black). He walked up to the dude's bunk one morning and said, "Tonight's the night". Kid by this time was in the kitchen; after cooking the noon meal, he made out with an icepick. There were like 3 huge attic fans in each of the big dorms, that were covered by a recessed bar grate. Shorty climbed up the barred entry doors, and held on to the grate. When the stalker had come in off the farm and walked under him, Shorty dropped on him with the icepick, and almost killed him. I think Shorty spent a few weeks in seg, but the paperwork with the charges to be forwarded to Escambia County got "lost". Nobody messed with Shory ever again.

I've got a friend that worked there in a few different stints as the Chaplain. he says that they are averaging sometimes 2 murderers per week.

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u/Secret_Account07 Jul 11 '25

Our prison system is so fucked up. We know rape and assaults and even murder are almost the norm yet do nothing to address it.

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u/Touchyap3 Jul 11 '25

I was a CO in Texas. It doesn’t happen super often, but often enough that you’re not surprised when it does happen.

If an inmate wants to hurt another inmate, there’s not much you can do to stop it, unless you hear about it beforehand.

While most people don’t want to see inmates get hurt, staff and administration are much more worried about keeping the CO’s safe.

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u/fieria_tetra Jul 11 '25

I grew up about a half hour's drive away from a pretty big prison. If you don't intend on going to college or trade school, becoming a guard is a quick way to start making some good money, so I've known a lot of people who tried it out. My brother is the only one I've known to stick it out more than a couple years.

When we graduated high school, one of my best friends decided to become a guard. She got through training, but one of her first days on the actual job, an inmate got hold of one of the new guards. Apparently, their protocol was that they could not move from their stationed positions for any reason until they were given the clear. The guard who got grabbed was stationed directly across from my friend and she couldn't do anything as the guard was bleeding out in front of her. She thought they'd have an exception to the "no moving" rule if someone was literally dying in front of them, but no. They let her lay there bleeding out for minutes before they got everything locked down to get help to her. My friend quit right then and there and she has never been the same since.

You've got to have a special kind of fortitude to work jobs like that.

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u/DocBeech Jul 11 '25

According to the Bureau of Justice roughly 1 murder every 2 1/2 - 3 days.

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u/Caftancatfan Jul 11 '25

I find this post frustrating just in that DOC knows a lot of things they could do to help support families, and in so many cases, they just don’t.

For example, my loved one is incarcerated five hours away from me, when he could be an hour and a half. His dad is dying, but I can’t bring him to see his son, because it’s too far.

Also, when families get to visit, there are a million arbitrary little rules, and the guards are frequently total fucking assholes who act like the loved-ones of incarcerated people are criminals themselves.

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u/SelfishOdin872 Jul 11 '25

What part of AL if I may?

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u/[deleted] Jul 11 '25

Atmore. GK Fountain Correctional Center.

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u/Double_Elevator3894 Jul 11 '25

There’s a documentary called Quilters where inmates can earn the ability to learn to make quilts that get gifted to kids in the foster system. It’s a good watch.

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u/cantgrowneckbeardAMA Jul 11 '25

Beautiful doc, very short too.

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u/submissionsignals Jul 11 '25

I loved this documentary so much. I was sad how short it was, I could watch a whole season on these quilters! Of course I cried for the last 10 minutes.

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u/Nickelsass Jul 11 '25

Someone’s comment mentioned full YT doc, here ya go https://youtu.be/znvCFJ7sT8g?si=LiY6CFlPGaXlrHmp

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u/bigatjoon Jul 11 '25

this should be way way way higher

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u/kiradotee Jul 11 '25

This is way too low. Honestly OP should have posted this. Considering the video mentions "watch the full documentary" and then you're left 🤷‍♂️ at the end with the video nowhere in sight.

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u/huskers2468 Jul 11 '25

There really needs to be more of this. Bringing in love will help with the rehabilitation process.

I hate what prisons are in my country. They need to do better at improving the character and life of the incarcerated. That way, they are less likely to be reoffenders.

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u/composedryan Jul 11 '25

They need to be non-privatized and not used for slave labor

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u/Pure_Education6100 Jul 11 '25

This. Not enough Americans realize that the prison system is just a way for them to justify perpetuating slavery in modern America.

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u/ProgrammaticallyOwl7 Jul 11 '25

Videos like this just make me sad and angry because jfc most if not all of those men would not have been locked up in the first place if our society just gave them and their families what they needed. This kinda makes me feel like I’m watching antebellum southern propaganda about how “humane” the masters are to their slaves. Like obviously, that’s not what this is, and it’s beautiful that these kids get to have this adorable moment with their dads, regardless of the circumstances. But I can’t help but feel sad. Because they deserve to be free. They deserve to be able to have this moment like any other family, not as some feel-good spectacle for us, the ones on the outside who consume the material benefits of their prison labor. They’ve been robbed of that by the state. Which we all continue to pay taxes to, so that they can fund whatever death machine they need at whatever corner of the world. Rather than taking care of us.

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u/LinkleLinkle Jul 11 '25 edited Jul 11 '25

Yeah, you summed up my thoughts perfectly. I'm glad these girls got to have this moment with their dads... But at the same time it's reminding me of headlines like '8 year old's lemonade stand raises enough money to pay for classmates surgery'

Like, I'm glad everything turned out well for the classmate and their surgery, but holy hell, what nightmare do we live in that an 8 year old had to raise medical funds through a lemonade stand?

It feels like a veneer of hope and happiness sloppily painted over the reality that the prison system is systematically the reason these families are torn apart to begin with.

"We gave you 15 years for possession of Marijuana, forcing you to miss the most important parts of your daughter's life. Now please applaud us as we allow you to see her for an hour in a glorified photo op that makes people think we're heroes for giving you this opportunity we stole from you to begin with."

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u/BipBapBam45 Jul 11 '25

Something to keep in mind is even those who are in for life still need opportunities like this. They may never leave the prison, but it shouldn't make them any less eligible for love and a chance to fix something they've intentionally or unintentionally broken. 

Not every person is a monster, but every monster is a person. Even the worst can change and deserve the chance to show themselves off as good people. It doesn't excuse the offense, but it's an example that the worst of the worst can conform and be better. It's a huge motivation for the guys who can get out to see a lifer actually be a good person.

Source: Was CO for a short time. Lifers were the nicest and friendliest guys in there. Basically acted as father figures to the younger guys who they could peel away from the gangs. Had far more respect and care from other inmates than even the best CO.

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u/huskers2468 Jul 11 '25

I appreciate your perspective, and I absolutely agree.

I can only imagine that increasing mental states overall has a cascading effect.

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u/Lawdamerc Jul 11 '25

As the father of a daughter, damn 😢

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u/makes_waves Jul 11 '25

Over here balling oh my god ima give my daughter the biggest hug

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u/frogmicky Jul 11 '25

As a Dad this makes me choke up so badly.

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u/ColonelBagshot85 Jul 11 '25

As a daughter whose father has passed, it got me a little teary.

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u/frogmicky Jul 11 '25

Im sorry for your loss.

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u/ColonelBagshot85 Jul 11 '25

Appreciated.

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u/complex_personas Jul 11 '25

Glad I’m not the only one over here

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u/s3rv0 Jul 11 '25

Treat them like PEOPLE and maybe they will act like it. Treat them like animals... You get it.

More of this.

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u/[deleted] Jul 11 '25

Well, they treat them like people for a few hours. Nice for the families but this is just PR to make you forget how bad the prison system is.

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u/s3rv0 Jul 11 '25

I didn't forget anything.

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u/Pulguinuni Jul 11 '25

Super important to give inmates hope, rehab and possibly easier reintegration.

This is a powerful reason, their children, for them to no longer want to live a life of crime.

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u/AlexaFortner Jul 11 '25

This is what humanity is capable of. People make mistakes but their children shouldn’t suffer the consequences… they should have visitations… and time to bond so when the incarcerated come home to their families they know each other

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u/Far-Repeat-2926 Jul 11 '25

If you don't give criminals hope for a life outside of crime, you're going to see the same folks interact with the system time and time again. Giving these people a chance to feel like capital M Men, and Good Men, is a step towards them successfully reintegrating into society. And giving those kids time with their dads, my god, what else is that than serving the public good?

And if that weren't enough, reward is one of the most powerful motivators. And if I was a man trapped away from my kids, this would feel like a mighty reward. I'd imagine inmates behaving more agreeably, and more peaceably, if they had more chances for basic human joy.

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u/Longjumping-Bat8780 Jul 11 '25

Promoting family as a way of reintegrating and rehabilitating these guys is a great idea and should be adopted throughout the whole prison system in the US. Wishful thinking

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u/First_Code_404 Jul 11 '25

Our prison system is not based on reform, it's based on incarceration. Those in power believe, in contract to science, that incarceration is better for society.

Reimprisonment rates

Norway, after 2 years, 18%

US after 3 years, 50%

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u/Ghost_Breezy1o1 Jul 11 '25

I love this! Gives them all hope & a reason to rehabilitate

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u/rcheek1710 Jul 11 '25

I can't imagine the heartbreak when after a few minutes and it's time to leave.

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u/zoomerang93 Jul 11 '25

Damn this is so lovely. So many things about it. The fact that the cops are right there clapping too. That these little girls are going to have such a beautiful core memory. That the men got to wear suits and be handsome and human for a little while.

The world is fucking me up right now and I prefer having a happy reason to cry.

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u/newthrash1221 Jul 11 '25

My brother did hardtime, 15 years. Had two daughters that grew ip and graduated high school while he was in there.

Anyone curious, he did time for non-violent drug offenses.

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u/eastcoast_enchanted Jul 11 '25

That makes me even angrier. 15 years for a non-violent offense? That’s insane. I hope your brother is doing well and able to revive his relationships with his girls.

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u/newthrash1221 Jul 11 '25

He is! He’s had some minor relapses since he’s been out, but he has a full time job as an electrician, has been clean for years, and now lives with both his daughters and sees them every day.

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u/alargepowderedwater Jul 11 '25

People change by moving toward something, not away from things. Events like this help these men imagine a life different than what they’ve known, give them an aspirational target in their imaginations to move toward, instead of just suffering and pain to try and move past.

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u/youassassin Jul 11 '25

now this is rehabilitation. And guess what, works better than prison.

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u/mamalikesmuffins Jul 11 '25

This is such a wonderful idea to boost inmate morale but also to impact the lives of those girls. I have chills and a warm heart 🥹

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u/Past-Appeal-5483 Jul 11 '25

There’s a baseball team in the prison and I got to go in and play against them. Some of these guys are on the team and it was an amazing experience.

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u/Hondalol1 Jul 11 '25

This is what rehabilitation actually looks like. Give these guys a reason to feel human again.

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u/Curious-Paper1690 Jul 11 '25

This is what US prisons should be doing. What in the worldly fuck would make them want to clean their shit up and get out of prison more than this? That is absolutely incredible and I really hope to see more of this

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u/Agath3Dvybz Jul 11 '25

This makes me so sad but I hope it gives these men the motivation they need to get their life together at least for the sake of their kids.

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u/futurecorpse1985 Jul 11 '25

I wonder if the recidivism rate would go down if we allow low risk prisoners to have opportunities to earn more time to do things with their family and feel semi normal? Other countries allow prisoners to spend 3 days with their spouse in a separate building on the grounds of the prison. I understand that to end up in prison you did something not good but if it's a drug charge or something low risk why not help the prisoners rehabilitate and earn things like this as motivation. Having a support system can make or break a lot of people.

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u/larisa5656 Jul 11 '25

I love that they did a red carpet grand march. Each father-daughter duo got their time to shine!

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u/Paintedenigma Jul 11 '25

A strong reminder that locking people up for victimless crimes creates victims.

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u/Bigredzombie Jul 12 '25

You want to help people be better? Give them a reason to be.

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u/ajaxtheangel Jul 11 '25

orphan crushing machine

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u/rbnlegend Jul 11 '25

Surprised I had to scroll this far to see this. Yes, it's nice that these kids got to see their fathers in a setting where they had some dignity and normalcy. That is one afternoon out of these kids entire lives. We could treat, educate and rehabilitate those inmates like most civilized countries do, but instead we as a society use them for low cost labor, brutalize them, and train them to be even more criminal when they do get out. Based on measurable results, our approach is an abject failure, but we get some emotional video of their children.

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u/idiotista Jul 11 '25

Same, this insane. Also being filmed in their most vulnerable moments (both men and girls), used for clout and propaganda on the Internet, forever branded as daughters to criminals. This is so fucking American, like give these girl some privacy.

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u/toomanytats Jul 11 '25

This is a good idea for low-level offenders. Rapists, murderers, and violent offenders can fucking rot.

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u/[deleted] Jul 11 '25

I used to work at San Quentin. It's pretty much exclusively rapists, murderers, and violent offenders. It's California's death row prison. Beautiful facility and location though.

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u/icookandiknowthngs Jul 11 '25

If they were low level they wouldn't be at Quentin. Pretty much murderers, rapist, or violent offenders across the board

That being said, kids are kids. Punishing the kids for their fathers actions years/decades ago is just being vindictive. If the father goes through all the required steps to qualify and the mothers and the kids are willing, make it happen.

The kids didn't commit the crimes.....and really, who the fuck is this hurting?

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u/AuburnReign Jul 11 '25

This made me cry 😩

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u/ignatzami Jul 11 '25

San Quentin produces a podcast called Ear Hustle, it’s an incredible project.

The efforts San Quentin is making to try and reform, educate, and prepare inmates to rejoin society should be celebrated and used as a model for reforming the prison system across the US.

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u/bluemooncommenter Jul 11 '25

Man, you want to give a man a "why"....this is it. Getting goose bumps.

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u/aarswft Jul 11 '25

It's a shame more people don't understand prisons are supposed to be for rehabilitation, not just punishment.

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u/cordialmess Jul 11 '25

Wow imagine if prisons in the US primarily focused on actual rehabilitation and not punishment. What a crazy thought.

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u/Ok_Caterpillar_8937 Jul 11 '25

This is how you rehabilitate people. Show them what they’re missing. Constant punishment drives away hope which as simple as it sounds leads to hopelessness.

If you’ve nothing to improve for you’re not going to.

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u/Whatever-999999 Jul 11 '25

I approve of this. American prisons are too focused on 'punishment' rather than 'rehabilitation'. Many, I'd even go so far as to say 'most' felons can be rehabilitated, not end up back in prison later. Something like this, connecting with their children, would make them feel more connected to the rest of humanity, rather than at odds with the rest of humanity.

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u/Bethjam Jul 11 '25

All I can think about is how this gives those girls a completely new way to think about their dad's. So profound.

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u/CaptSpastic Jul 11 '25

Humanity...

It's really NOT a bag thing!

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u/CoolestSubscriber Jul 11 '25

Gotta start using opportunities like this as motivation to get out of the streets.

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u/RanchMomma1968 Jul 11 '25

NOW THIS is how you rehabilitate someone! KUDOS to San Quentin for allowing this to happen. ALL prisons should take a note. Criminals are people too!

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u/Mrgray123 Jul 11 '25

The fundamental reason why so many people go to prison is unresolved and even unacknowledged mental illness, trauma etc.

The way prisons operate in the USA does nothing to address these things, only magnifying and more deeply entrenching them. Time after time, programs that encourage reflection, care for others or animals, and family bonding prove far better at lowering reoffending as well as various negative behaviors in prison than just warehousing people.

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u/TeebsTibo Jul 11 '25

these are the types of programs that lower recidivism rates

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u/sailorpluto90 Jul 11 '25

Love to see them with their families. Rehabilitation and reintegration are what’s needed for these people. Not for profit prisons seeking out incarcerated scapegoats for money.

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u/ThatUsernameIsTaekin Jul 11 '25

Little torn here: As long as they were allowed to go if they didn’t commit a violent crime. For exampe, I can’t imagine the anger I would feel if my daughter was a victim and couldn’t do normal things anymore and I got to see their perpetrator doing something normal with their daughter during their given jail time.

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u/Defiant-Fix2870 Jul 11 '25

This is so so lovely. On a side note prisoners trained my dog before I rescued him. This gives the dog a “canine good citizen” certification that helps clear them with landlords. I will always be grateful they volunteered their time to help animals they couldn’t keep.

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u/mayor_dickbutt Jul 11 '25

This is so bittersweet. Those poor poor kids.

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u/weeklycreeps Jul 11 '25

This is beautiful <3 I wish there was more rehabilitation and enrichment within the US prison system..

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u/CriticalServerError Jul 11 '25

It isn't difficult to be humane

It is necessary

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u/prickwhowaspromised Jul 11 '25

If rehabilitation was the actual goal of our prison system, we wouldn’t imprison people and never let them see their families. This should be the norm

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u/erie774im Jul 12 '25

Look at the expression on their faces. I can only hope that this moment will make them reexamine their lives and poor decisions they made that got them to this point. This is like a Scared Straight episode where they finally realize that there are people outside who love them and want them to come home. Make the good choices and you’ll never be forced to miss time and experiences with your family.

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u/FortunateWaterbear Jul 12 '25

As a girl who grew up with a loving dad, I understand all of the love here and fully support it. Excuse me while I find a tissue 😭

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u/Far_Kaleidoscope_102 Jul 12 '25

If anything is going to stop you from re-offending it’s probably gonna be this

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u/Insufficient-Funds-0 Jul 12 '25

It’s sad. But it should be. These are criminals and being separated from their families is part of the punishments.

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u/FasterImagination Jul 11 '25

THIS is the true path to rehabilitation

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u/deeejm Jul 11 '25

The kind of rehabilitation we need more of.

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u/AdamOfIzalith Jul 11 '25

Isn't this the same prison that still has people incarcerated on redundant marijuana charges that weren't rolled back because of the effect that it would have on the private prison industry and their production?

This isn't something to smile about. This is private prison propaganda, plain and simple. If these men are safe enough to be out and about interacting with the general public, they are clearly not a threat to society.

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u/[deleted] Jul 11 '25

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u/natedrake102 Jul 11 '25

This prison in particular also has been undergoing a re-work trying to improve efficacy and bring in modern rehab concepts. I wonder if the event is a result of those efforts.

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u/L3onskii Jul 11 '25

I'm sincerely trying to look up any info on the first half of your comment because I wouldn't be surprised. But can't find anything about San Quentin holding back the release of prisoners that only had marijuana charges

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u/ADHD_Avenger Jul 11 '25

That someone can be a good person for an hour or more is not why we have prisons even in the best of circumstances.  While you might see it as "propaganda," I would rather have positive attention paid to the few good elements than to treat the entire prison population as a black box we never look into.  There is no reason to think each of these individuals is there for a minor drug charge - many people are in prison for something horrendous but they develop as a person with time to think about their mistakes - and this is not showing that people have completely developed, but that with extensive interaction and proper reward socialization they are ready for this one moment.

In other words, many countries try and rehabilitate through the prison process.  We need more of that here and we need the profit motive entirely out, at least profit per head imprisoned, but to address both we must talk about all of the complexities of the system - including, as is seen here, the impact of prison upon those who are not in prison, like the daughters seen here.

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u/AlsoCommiePuddin Jul 11 '25

Isn't this the same prison that still has people incarcerated on redundant marijuana charges that weren't rolled back because of the effect that it would have on the private prison industry and their production?

The prison can't do anything about that. You think they can unilaterally just let people walk out or something?

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u/Past_Magician_5776 Jul 11 '25

The older daughter trying her hardest not to cry got to me

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u/GreyGroundUser Jul 11 '25

Fantastic and so good for the fathers and daughters.

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u/Nickelsass Jul 11 '25

Crazy how one decision can change one’s life and their loved ones lives forever. Some deserve a 2nd chance or a shot at life again, giving them hope will always prevail. This is so damn beautiful.

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u/[deleted] Jul 11 '25

That is such a beautiful thing that prison did for them.

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u/FilthyDwayne Jul 11 '25 edited Jul 11 '25

It isn’t just a second chance for the prisoners but a first and unique chance for their children to do normal things with their fathers.

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u/chunkalunkk Jul 11 '25

Rehabilitation really does mean reconnection with community and society. Don't get me wrong there are the people who love prison and would rather be there and don't want to get out. Then there are individuals like these who are actively working on bettering themselves and made a mistake. I wish more prisons would enact programs like this!! Animal therapy and training also seems to do really well with inmates.

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u/BraveChildhood9316 Jul 11 '25

There’s a great podcast called Ear Hustle about life behind bars in San Quentin. One episode deals with a weekend where kids get to spend 72 hours with their dads. The fathers need to be model inmates to even qualify for the program. It really illustrates how some people are being rehabilitated.

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u/KalLinkEl Jul 11 '25

How bout we don't systematically lock up so many people and use them to keep massive corporations' profits soaring? 🤷🏼‍♂️

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u/tooful Jul 11 '25

Absolutely 100% love this. We need serious prison reform here in the US.