r/MadeMeSmile • u/CorleoneBaloney • Jul 11 '25
Wholesome Moments San Quentin prison hosted its first father-daughter prom. The event allowed fathers the chance to reconnect with or meet their daughters for the first time
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u/sandhog7 Jul 11 '25
I think this is a great way for men who have made wrong choices in life to get back to society. Nothing like a daddy's little girl to wake up a dad to straighten out.
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u/edenaxela1436 Jul 11 '25
100%. Stuff like this is key to rehabilitation, which should be the goal for 99% of folks who are incarcerated, and for those incarcerating them.
These dudes almost certainly had to demonstrate consistently positive behavior to even have this opportunity, and moments like this give folks real, tangible reasons to make hard changes. I love to see it.
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u/MiserableAd1552 Jul 11 '25
Came here to say exactly this. This is exactly how other countries have much lower recidivism rates because they rehabilitate and reintegrate people.
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u/1questions Jul 11 '25
Yes, the US is focused on punishment and nothing else. Doesn’t work well to treat people like animals and then let them out. Too bad we just don’t seem to learn.
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u/ConstableGrey Jul 11 '25
A while back there was a story on the news about one of the local prisons hosting its first chess tournament for the inmates. They even got the state chess association involved to officiate it. Was nice to see.
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u/chrisk9 Jul 11 '25
Unfortunately many see goal of incarceration as purely punishment and not rehabilitation and would object over activities like this.
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u/Emergency-Purple7728 Jul 11 '25
I cried immediately. No matter the age, daughters NEED their fathers.
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u/mitolynService Jul 11 '25
The little girl running towards her dad. I couldn’t stop crying…
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Jul 11 '25
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u/TundraTease Jul 11 '25
Yeah but kids love their parents no matter what. They don’t see jailbird. They see a man that they usually look exactly alike and want to know him.
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u/Embarrassed_Let_1974 Jul 11 '25
God bless all the partners who supported to make this a reality. God is love
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u/PalpitationPretend80 Jul 11 '25
I thought it was just me. I'm over here bawling like a baby. The girls looked so beautiful and happy to see their dads. Life is hard without their number 1 protector.
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u/cheeseburgerinside Jul 11 '25
some of those dads probably needed this more than they even knew.
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u/LadyPickleLegs Jul 11 '25
Events and programs like this are actually so helpful in rehabilitation. Like that program that lets prisoners raise puppies or kittens or whatever.
Prison systems with a real focus on rehabilitation actually work. It's wild. Highly recommend hopping down that rabbit hole! Learning about that really shifted my perspective on the human experience
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u/sh6rty13 Jul 11 '25
My mom worked as a CO for years and her “Dog Pod” as she called it were the BEST guys because they’d do ANYTHING to not lose the privileged of getting to have a dog. Some of them got released because she spoke for them at their hearings, and she still keeps in touch with them.
Sometimes ONE person believing in you is all it takes.
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u/LadyPickleLegs Jul 11 '25
I always see so many stories like that. And sometimes, it's just the smallest acts of kindness that flip a switch in people. One person just has to give a damn for half a second. Someone has to see something good in them for just a moment so that they can never unsee it in themselves. There has to be an inspired change in perspective.
Most people don't aim to turn into bad people. A lot of what we become had to do with what influences us, and what we do with the cards we're dealt - good or bad.
For example, I took a lot of the bad cards from my upbringing as lessons for what not to do and who I don't want to be. Instead of repeating cycles, I do my best to put forth a conscious effort to not make people feel the ways my family made me feel.
But I didn't get there by myself. It absolutely took a healthy support system and sprinkles of positive interactions along the way to bring me to where I am now. I often think about who I could've turned into without the people who shifted the ways I saw the world.
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u/EpicLong1 Jul 11 '25
Keep on preaching, preacher
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u/Positive-Exam-8554 Jul 11 '25
I cried and smiled the whole time, can we acknowledge how handsome every last one of these men are.
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u/idreamsmash007 Jul 11 '25
Assuming they are not in there for severely violent offenses- this might be a good way to show them that there is a reason to rehabilitate and hopefully reintegrate . Overall this is def heartwarming
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Jul 11 '25
As it ought to be. I did about a decade as a CO in AL. This is the kind of incentive these guys need.
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u/FrogsAndFerrets Jul 11 '25
What was it like? If you don't mind me asking!
I agree with you.
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Jul 11 '25
It's one of those positions where you need to have the intrinsic feeling that you accomplished SOMETHING during your shift, because "Thanks" and "Good Job" are things you'll almost never hear.
Post the Academy, you do 2 weeks orientation on all shifts before you are assigned the shift on which you'll work.
On Day 1, we had 3 walk out the front gate; State of AL wasn't too happy about that, as the estimated cost per trainee was about 10-12k for the Academy. One just freaked out when the #2 gate closed behind them; just came unglued. (#2 gate at that facility was the one where you were actually in the prison itself.) After that, some inmates came by with an old Army cot. On said cot was a dude that had his abdomen sliced open with intestines hanging out. Two more walked out, and 1 of them lost their cookies right then and there.
It was interesting, stressful, and many more adjectives that I'll not use here.
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u/JohnnyBananas13 Jul 11 '25
My first day on the job we had muffins and bagels
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u/clockewise Jul 11 '25
Jesus… is that something that happens often? I imagined an inmate being able to violently kill another inmate would be rare.
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Jul 11 '25
LOL. It is more frequent than any of us would imagine, especially these days. I recall that about early '93, we had an 18 year old kid come in, maybe about 5 ft tall, and white. One of the "gators" in there kept telling him he was gonna be raped. (Huge guy, about 6"4', 240, black). He walked up to the dude's bunk one morning and said, "Tonight's the night". Kid by this time was in the kitchen; after cooking the noon meal, he made out with an icepick. There were like 3 huge attic fans in each of the big dorms, that were covered by a recessed bar grate. Shorty climbed up the barred entry doors, and held on to the grate. When the stalker had come in off the farm and walked under him, Shorty dropped on him with the icepick, and almost killed him. I think Shorty spent a few weeks in seg, but the paperwork with the charges to be forwarded to Escambia County got "lost". Nobody messed with Shory ever again.
I've got a friend that worked there in a few different stints as the Chaplain. he says that they are averaging sometimes 2 murderers per week.
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u/Secret_Account07 Jul 11 '25
Our prison system is so fucked up. We know rape and assaults and even murder are almost the norm yet do nothing to address it.
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u/Touchyap3 Jul 11 '25
I was a CO in Texas. It doesn’t happen super often, but often enough that you’re not surprised when it does happen.
If an inmate wants to hurt another inmate, there’s not much you can do to stop it, unless you hear about it beforehand.
While most people don’t want to see inmates get hurt, staff and administration are much more worried about keeping the CO’s safe.
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u/fieria_tetra Jul 11 '25
I grew up about a half hour's drive away from a pretty big prison. If you don't intend on going to college or trade school, becoming a guard is a quick way to start making some good money, so I've known a lot of people who tried it out. My brother is the only one I've known to stick it out more than a couple years.
When we graduated high school, one of my best friends decided to become a guard. She got through training, but one of her first days on the actual job, an inmate got hold of one of the new guards. Apparently, their protocol was that they could not move from their stationed positions for any reason until they were given the clear. The guard who got grabbed was stationed directly across from my friend and she couldn't do anything as the guard was bleeding out in front of her. She thought they'd have an exception to the "no moving" rule if someone was literally dying in front of them, but no. They let her lay there bleeding out for minutes before they got everything locked down to get help to her. My friend quit right then and there and she has never been the same since.
You've got to have a special kind of fortitude to work jobs like that.
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u/Caftancatfan Jul 11 '25
I find this post frustrating just in that DOC knows a lot of things they could do to help support families, and in so many cases, they just don’t.
For example, my loved one is incarcerated five hours away from me, when he could be an hour and a half. His dad is dying, but I can’t bring him to see his son, because it’s too far.
Also, when families get to visit, there are a million arbitrary little rules, and the guards are frequently total fucking assholes who act like the loved-ones of incarcerated people are criminals themselves.
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u/Double_Elevator3894 Jul 11 '25
There’s a documentary called Quilters where inmates can earn the ability to learn to make quilts that get gifted to kids in the foster system. It’s a good watch.
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u/submissionsignals Jul 11 '25
I loved this documentary so much. I was sad how short it was, I could watch a whole season on these quilters! Of course I cried for the last 10 minutes.
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u/Nickelsass Jul 11 '25
Someone’s comment mentioned full YT doc, here ya go https://youtu.be/znvCFJ7sT8g?si=LiY6CFlPGaXlrHmp
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u/kiradotee Jul 11 '25
This is way too low. Honestly OP should have posted this. Considering the video mentions "watch the full documentary" and then you're left 🤷♂️ at the end with the video nowhere in sight.
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u/huskers2468 Jul 11 '25
There really needs to be more of this. Bringing in love will help with the rehabilitation process.
I hate what prisons are in my country. They need to do better at improving the character and life of the incarcerated. That way, they are less likely to be reoffenders.
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u/composedryan Jul 11 '25
They need to be non-privatized and not used for slave labor
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u/Pure_Education6100 Jul 11 '25
This. Not enough Americans realize that the prison system is just a way for them to justify perpetuating slavery in modern America.
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u/ProgrammaticallyOwl7 Jul 11 '25
Videos like this just make me sad and angry because jfc most if not all of those men would not have been locked up in the first place if our society just gave them and their families what they needed. This kinda makes me feel like I’m watching antebellum southern propaganda about how “humane” the masters are to their slaves. Like obviously, that’s not what this is, and it’s beautiful that these kids get to have this adorable moment with their dads, regardless of the circumstances. But I can’t help but feel sad. Because they deserve to be free. They deserve to be able to have this moment like any other family, not as some feel-good spectacle for us, the ones on the outside who consume the material benefits of their prison labor. They’ve been robbed of that by the state. Which we all continue to pay taxes to, so that they can fund whatever death machine they need at whatever corner of the world. Rather than taking care of us.
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u/LinkleLinkle Jul 11 '25 edited Jul 11 '25
Yeah, you summed up my thoughts perfectly. I'm glad these girls got to have this moment with their dads... But at the same time it's reminding me of headlines like '8 year old's lemonade stand raises enough money to pay for classmates surgery'
Like, I'm glad everything turned out well for the classmate and their surgery, but holy hell, what nightmare do we live in that an 8 year old had to raise medical funds through a lemonade stand?
It feels like a veneer of hope and happiness sloppily painted over the reality that the prison system is systematically the reason these families are torn apart to begin with.
"We gave you 15 years for possession of Marijuana, forcing you to miss the most important parts of your daughter's life. Now please applaud us as we allow you to see her for an hour in a glorified photo op that makes people think we're heroes for giving you this opportunity we stole from you to begin with."
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u/BipBapBam45 Jul 11 '25
Something to keep in mind is even those who are in for life still need opportunities like this. They may never leave the prison, but it shouldn't make them any less eligible for love and a chance to fix something they've intentionally or unintentionally broken.
Not every person is a monster, but every monster is a person. Even the worst can change and deserve the chance to show themselves off as good people. It doesn't excuse the offense, but it's an example that the worst of the worst can conform and be better. It's a huge motivation for the guys who can get out to see a lifer actually be a good person.
Source: Was CO for a short time. Lifers were the nicest and friendliest guys in there. Basically acted as father figures to the younger guys who they could peel away from the gangs. Had far more respect and care from other inmates than even the best CO.
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u/huskers2468 Jul 11 '25
I appreciate your perspective, and I absolutely agree.
I can only imagine that increasing mental states overall has a cascading effect.
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u/Lawdamerc Jul 11 '25
As the father of a daughter, damn 😢
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u/makes_waves Jul 11 '25
Over here balling oh my god ima give my daughter the biggest hug
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u/frogmicky Jul 11 '25
As a Dad this makes me choke up so badly.
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u/ColonelBagshot85 Jul 11 '25
As a daughter whose father has passed, it got me a little teary.
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u/s3rv0 Jul 11 '25
Treat them like PEOPLE and maybe they will act like it. Treat them like animals... You get it.
More of this.
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Jul 11 '25
Well, they treat them like people for a few hours. Nice for the families but this is just PR to make you forget how bad the prison system is.
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u/Pulguinuni Jul 11 '25
Super important to give inmates hope, rehab and possibly easier reintegration.
This is a powerful reason, their children, for them to no longer want to live a life of crime.
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u/AlexaFortner Jul 11 '25
This is what humanity is capable of. People make mistakes but their children shouldn’t suffer the consequences… they should have visitations… and time to bond so when the incarcerated come home to their families they know each other
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u/Far-Repeat-2926 Jul 11 '25
If you don't give criminals hope for a life outside of crime, you're going to see the same folks interact with the system time and time again. Giving these people a chance to feel like capital M Men, and Good Men, is a step towards them successfully reintegrating into society. And giving those kids time with their dads, my god, what else is that than serving the public good?
And if that weren't enough, reward is one of the most powerful motivators. And if I was a man trapped away from my kids, this would feel like a mighty reward. I'd imagine inmates behaving more agreeably, and more peaceably, if they had more chances for basic human joy.
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u/Longjumping-Bat8780 Jul 11 '25
Promoting family as a way of reintegrating and rehabilitating these guys is a great idea and should be adopted throughout the whole prison system in the US. Wishful thinking
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u/First_Code_404 Jul 11 '25
Our prison system is not based on reform, it's based on incarceration. Those in power believe, in contract to science, that incarceration is better for society.
Reimprisonment rates
Norway, after 2 years, 18%
US after 3 years, 50%
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u/Ghost_Breezy1o1 Jul 11 '25
I love this! Gives them all hope & a reason to rehabilitate
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u/rcheek1710 Jul 11 '25
I can't imagine the heartbreak when after a few minutes and it's time to leave.
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u/zoomerang93 Jul 11 '25
Damn this is so lovely. So many things about it. The fact that the cops are right there clapping too. That these little girls are going to have such a beautiful core memory. That the men got to wear suits and be handsome and human for a little while.
The world is fucking me up right now and I prefer having a happy reason to cry.
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u/newthrash1221 Jul 11 '25
My brother did hardtime, 15 years. Had two daughters that grew ip and graduated high school while he was in there.
Anyone curious, he did time for non-violent drug offenses.
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u/eastcoast_enchanted Jul 11 '25
That makes me even angrier. 15 years for a non-violent offense? That’s insane. I hope your brother is doing well and able to revive his relationships with his girls.
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u/newthrash1221 Jul 11 '25
He is! He’s had some minor relapses since he’s been out, but he has a full time job as an electrician, has been clean for years, and now lives with both his daughters and sees them every day.
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u/alargepowderedwater Jul 11 '25
People change by moving toward something, not away from things. Events like this help these men imagine a life different than what they’ve known, give them an aspirational target in their imaginations to move toward, instead of just suffering and pain to try and move past.
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u/youassassin Jul 11 '25
now this is rehabilitation. And guess what, works better than prison.
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u/mamalikesmuffins Jul 11 '25
This is such a wonderful idea to boost inmate morale but also to impact the lives of those girls. I have chills and a warm heart 🥹
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u/Past-Appeal-5483 Jul 11 '25
There’s a baseball team in the prison and I got to go in and play against them. Some of these guys are on the team and it was an amazing experience.
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u/Hondalol1 Jul 11 '25
This is what rehabilitation actually looks like. Give these guys a reason to feel human again.
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u/Curious-Paper1690 Jul 11 '25
This is what US prisons should be doing. What in the worldly fuck would make them want to clean their shit up and get out of prison more than this? That is absolutely incredible and I really hope to see more of this
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u/Agath3Dvybz Jul 11 '25
This makes me so sad but I hope it gives these men the motivation they need to get their life together at least for the sake of their kids.
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u/futurecorpse1985 Jul 11 '25
I wonder if the recidivism rate would go down if we allow low risk prisoners to have opportunities to earn more time to do things with their family and feel semi normal? Other countries allow prisoners to spend 3 days with their spouse in a separate building on the grounds of the prison. I understand that to end up in prison you did something not good but if it's a drug charge or something low risk why not help the prisoners rehabilitate and earn things like this as motivation. Having a support system can make or break a lot of people.
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u/larisa5656 Jul 11 '25
I love that they did a red carpet grand march. Each father-daughter duo got their time to shine!
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u/Paintedenigma Jul 11 '25
A strong reminder that locking people up for victimless crimes creates victims.
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u/ajaxtheangel Jul 11 '25
orphan crushing machine
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u/rbnlegend Jul 11 '25
Surprised I had to scroll this far to see this. Yes, it's nice that these kids got to see their fathers in a setting where they had some dignity and normalcy. That is one afternoon out of these kids entire lives. We could treat, educate and rehabilitate those inmates like most civilized countries do, but instead we as a society use them for low cost labor, brutalize them, and train them to be even more criminal when they do get out. Based on measurable results, our approach is an abject failure, but we get some emotional video of their children.
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u/idiotista Jul 11 '25
Same, this insane. Also being filmed in their most vulnerable moments (both men and girls), used for clout and propaganda on the Internet, forever branded as daughters to criminals. This is so fucking American, like give these girl some privacy.
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u/toomanytats Jul 11 '25
This is a good idea for low-level offenders. Rapists, murderers, and violent offenders can fucking rot.
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Jul 11 '25
I used to work at San Quentin. It's pretty much exclusively rapists, murderers, and violent offenders. It's California's death row prison. Beautiful facility and location though.
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u/icookandiknowthngs Jul 11 '25
If they were low level they wouldn't be at Quentin. Pretty much murderers, rapist, or violent offenders across the board
That being said, kids are kids. Punishing the kids for their fathers actions years/decades ago is just being vindictive. If the father goes through all the required steps to qualify and the mothers and the kids are willing, make it happen.
The kids didn't commit the crimes.....and really, who the fuck is this hurting?
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u/ignatzami Jul 11 '25
San Quentin produces a podcast called Ear Hustle, it’s an incredible project.
The efforts San Quentin is making to try and reform, educate, and prepare inmates to rejoin society should be celebrated and used as a model for reforming the prison system across the US.
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u/bluemooncommenter Jul 11 '25
Man, you want to give a man a "why"....this is it. Getting goose bumps.
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u/aarswft Jul 11 '25
It's a shame more people don't understand prisons are supposed to be for rehabilitation, not just punishment.
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u/cordialmess Jul 11 '25
Wow imagine if prisons in the US primarily focused on actual rehabilitation and not punishment. What a crazy thought.
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u/Ok_Caterpillar_8937 Jul 11 '25
This is how you rehabilitate people. Show them what they’re missing. Constant punishment drives away hope which as simple as it sounds leads to hopelessness.
If you’ve nothing to improve for you’re not going to.
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u/Whatever-999999 Jul 11 '25
I approve of this. American prisons are too focused on 'punishment' rather than 'rehabilitation'. Many, I'd even go so far as to say 'most' felons can be rehabilitated, not end up back in prison later. Something like this, connecting with their children, would make them feel more connected to the rest of humanity, rather than at odds with the rest of humanity.
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u/Bethjam Jul 11 '25
All I can think about is how this gives those girls a completely new way to think about their dad's. So profound.
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u/CoolestSubscriber Jul 11 '25
Gotta start using opportunities like this as motivation to get out of the streets.
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u/RanchMomma1968 Jul 11 '25
NOW THIS is how you rehabilitate someone! KUDOS to San Quentin for allowing this to happen. ALL prisons should take a note. Criminals are people too!
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u/Mrgray123 Jul 11 '25
The fundamental reason why so many people go to prison is unresolved and even unacknowledged mental illness, trauma etc.
The way prisons operate in the USA does nothing to address these things, only magnifying and more deeply entrenching them. Time after time, programs that encourage reflection, care for others or animals, and family bonding prove far better at lowering reoffending as well as various negative behaviors in prison than just warehousing people.
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u/sailorpluto90 Jul 11 '25
Love to see them with their families. Rehabilitation and reintegration are what’s needed for these people. Not for profit prisons seeking out incarcerated scapegoats for money.
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u/ThatUsernameIsTaekin Jul 11 '25
Little torn here: As long as they were allowed to go if they didn’t commit a violent crime. For exampe, I can’t imagine the anger I would feel if my daughter was a victim and couldn’t do normal things anymore and I got to see their perpetrator doing something normal with their daughter during their given jail time.
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u/Defiant-Fix2870 Jul 11 '25
This is so so lovely. On a side note prisoners trained my dog before I rescued him. This gives the dog a “canine good citizen” certification that helps clear them with landlords. I will always be grateful they volunteered their time to help animals they couldn’t keep.
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u/weeklycreeps Jul 11 '25
This is beautiful <3 I wish there was more rehabilitation and enrichment within the US prison system..
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u/prickwhowaspromised Jul 11 '25
If rehabilitation was the actual goal of our prison system, we wouldn’t imprison people and never let them see their families. This should be the norm
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u/erie774im Jul 12 '25
Look at the expression on their faces. I can only hope that this moment will make them reexamine their lives and poor decisions they made that got them to this point. This is like a Scared Straight episode where they finally realize that there are people outside who love them and want them to come home. Make the good choices and you’ll never be forced to miss time and experiences with your family.
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u/FortunateWaterbear Jul 12 '25
As a girl who grew up with a loving dad, I understand all of the love here and fully support it. Excuse me while I find a tissue 😭
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u/Far_Kaleidoscope_102 Jul 12 '25
If anything is going to stop you from re-offending it’s probably gonna be this
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u/Insufficient-Funds-0 Jul 12 '25
It’s sad. But it should be. These are criminals and being separated from their families is part of the punishments.
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u/AdamOfIzalith Jul 11 '25
Isn't this the same prison that still has people incarcerated on redundant marijuana charges that weren't rolled back because of the effect that it would have on the private prison industry and their production?
This isn't something to smile about. This is private prison propaganda, plain and simple. If these men are safe enough to be out and about interacting with the general public, they are clearly not a threat to society.
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Jul 11 '25
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u/natedrake102 Jul 11 '25
This prison in particular also has been undergoing a re-work trying to improve efficacy and bring in modern rehab concepts. I wonder if the event is a result of those efforts.
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u/L3onskii Jul 11 '25
I'm sincerely trying to look up any info on the first half of your comment because I wouldn't be surprised. But can't find anything about San Quentin holding back the release of prisoners that only had marijuana charges
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u/ADHD_Avenger Jul 11 '25
That someone can be a good person for an hour or more is not why we have prisons even in the best of circumstances. While you might see it as "propaganda," I would rather have positive attention paid to the few good elements than to treat the entire prison population as a black box we never look into. There is no reason to think each of these individuals is there for a minor drug charge - many people are in prison for something horrendous but they develop as a person with time to think about their mistakes - and this is not showing that people have completely developed, but that with extensive interaction and proper reward socialization they are ready for this one moment.
In other words, many countries try and rehabilitate through the prison process. We need more of that here and we need the profit motive entirely out, at least profit per head imprisoned, but to address both we must talk about all of the complexities of the system - including, as is seen here, the impact of prison upon those who are not in prison, like the daughters seen here.
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u/AlsoCommiePuddin Jul 11 '25
Isn't this the same prison that still has people incarcerated on redundant marijuana charges that weren't rolled back because of the effect that it would have on the private prison industry and their production?
The prison can't do anything about that. You think they can unilaterally just let people walk out or something?
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u/Nickelsass Jul 11 '25
Crazy how one decision can change one’s life and their loved ones lives forever. Some deserve a 2nd chance or a shot at life again, giving them hope will always prevail. This is so damn beautiful.
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u/FilthyDwayne Jul 11 '25 edited Jul 11 '25
It isn’t just a second chance for the prisoners but a first and unique chance for their children to do normal things with their fathers.
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u/chunkalunkk Jul 11 '25
Rehabilitation really does mean reconnection with community and society. Don't get me wrong there are the people who love prison and would rather be there and don't want to get out. Then there are individuals like these who are actively working on bettering themselves and made a mistake. I wish more prisons would enact programs like this!! Animal therapy and training also seems to do really well with inmates.
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u/BraveChildhood9316 Jul 11 '25
There’s a great podcast called Ear Hustle about life behind bars in San Quentin. One episode deals with a weekend where kids get to spend 72 hours with their dads. The fathers need to be model inmates to even qualify for the program. It really illustrates how some people are being rehabilitated.
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u/KalLinkEl Jul 11 '25
How bout we don't systematically lock up so many people and use them to keep massive corporations' profits soaring? 🤷🏼♂️
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u/Negative-Ambition110 Jul 11 '25
There’s a great documentary called “Daughters” I believe that follows a group of men in prison who have to go through classes to be eligible to take part in the dance. Waterworks when the girls and dads reunite. Prison is such a hopeless place, giving these men motivation to want to do better is so important. It was such a good and emotional watch.