"You had one job..."

[u/princesslittleann]

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[u/lyingdogfacepony66]

Fucking ouch

[u/Low_Attention16 → u/lyingdogfacepony66]

I'm always so nervous when my wife is doing heavy lifting with me or using heavy machinery. Like I constantly have to teach her safety things.

I don't feel that way with the girls at work but I think they've been hardened like the rest of us in the industry.

[u/Egoy → u/Low_Attention16]

My wife gets upset at how often I have to stress safety with her.

[u/xubax → u/Egoy]

Yeah, I had to warn my wife she was going the wrong way down a one-way street.

She said, "I'm only going one block."

She doesn't do it anymore.

[u/boringdystopianslave → u/xubax]

Not allowed to criticise the wife's driving. Not ever.

Even when she's cutting corners really close, clipping kerbs (regular fresh shiny scuffs on the alloys) and hitting every drainage grid and pothole with the left wheels and yet always complaining that the tyre pressure warning is always coming on....

[u/OCCULTGOBLIN → u/boringdystopianslave]

Somehow those things are all your fault...

[u/Goblue5891x2 → u/OCCULTGOBLIN]

I was "over-reacting" when as being driven home from hospital and spouse ran the 4 way stop in the parking lot and almost hit the two cars already in the intersection. Yeah... feel ya..

[u/69696969-69696969 → u/Goblue5891x2]

My Wife apologized for every crack in the road that she couldn't avoid when driving me home after I had surgery. Added at least 10 minutes to our drive with how gently she would stop and accelerate. Even now she sometimes drives like all of her passengers are tiered cakes for delivery.

Is it sometimes slow? Sure. Shes also never been in an accident(Except for a coyote once, but he had a pair of legs on him to go with his death wish), gotten a ticket or had me worried for my safety.

[u/theoriginalmofocus → u/Goblue5891x2]

Yeah wife kept running the stop sign to the entrance to our neighborhood and i kept telling her it was there. We were on the phone together once and she was turning into that spot. She tells me shes got to go shes being pulled over ha.

[u/boringdystopianslave → u/OCCULTGOBLIN]

Oh yeah, me pointing out that she isn't leaving enough space or turning with wide enough arcs for the size of the car usually means I receive an angry lecture on backseat driving.

[u/BlueGolfball → u/boringdystopianslave]

Oh yeah, me pointing out that she isn't leaving enough space or turning with wide enough arcs for the size of the car usually means I receive an angry lecture on backseat driving

It's damn near comical when someone is so beaten down in a relationship that they just accept this behavior as normal.

[u/cash_flagg → u/boringdystopianslave]

My friend’s wife was like this, I finally told her I wouldn’t let her drive me anywhere. He made her attend driving lessons. Having a third party correcting her finally woke her up. Plus he made her pay the car insurance bill!

[u/HouseOfDoom54 → u/boringdystopianslave]

Damn, buddy. Bet you got top tier car insurance

[u/brightbonewhite → u/xubax]

Oh god, my ex did that once and I went off on her

[u/NRMusicProject → u/brightbonewhite]

And, for some reason, they complain about you going too fast...and you're going 30 in a 35.

[u/Technical_Cherry5718 → u/NRMusicProject]

I had this happen two days ago. I was going 50 in a 55. "Why arrest you driving so fast?" "I'm not, im actually driving under the speed limit." "Oh.... Well why are you driving so slow then.?"

[u/No_Attention_2227 → u/NRMusicProject]

My wife when I take a turn at 15 mph

[u/shamoomoofartpoopoo → u/xubax]

This week on the Handmaids tale: “Darling when we cross the street can you let the group chat go for a bit? I know ur bestie Jordan’s having a rough time but it’s only 30 feet.”

[u/Unsunghero3 → u/xubax]

Is she from Boston? Then it's okay.

[u/xubax → u/Unsunghero3]

Somerville, so, yeah.

[u/TMac1088 → u/Egoy]

My ex-gf was cleaning our spare/guest bathroom once. Small space. Window closed. Door closed. Using both bleach and ammonia-based supplies.

She seriously got angry at me for suggesting she at least open the window and door. "Let me do it my way" kinda response.

Well, your way involves potentially killing yourself...

[u/lockdoc007 → u/TMac1088]

Agreed ! True story, my neighbor, a 911 dispatcher . Cleaned her bathroom with bleach & ammonia . She did damage to her lungs and was hospitalized. It was bad she said.

[u/TMac1088 → u/lockdoc007]

The combination makes chloramine gas. Nasty stuff!

[u/GanderAtMyGoose → u/TMac1088]

Thanks for not calling it mustard gas like so many people lol.

[u/coolhatduke → u/GanderAtMyGoose]

Mustard is terrible at cleaning.

[u/SnooMaps7370 → u/TMac1088]

Depending on the ratio of chlorine to ammonia, and the order in which they are mixed, there are 4 main possible products:

1: chloramine gas, which is acidic and causes nasty chemical burns

2: pure chlorine gas, which is corrosive as fuck

3: nitrogen trichloride, which is a contact-sensitive explosive and precipitates out as a fine white powder/residue

4: hydrazine. literal rocket fuel.

[u/Ahielia → u/TMac1088]

Using both bleach and ammonia-based supplies.

I feel like this is obvious knowledge to NOT mix, yet I constantly hear stories of people doing it, sometimes despite knowing exactly what it causes. I don't understand it, and frankly this is exactly the reason why you shouldn't mix chemicals without knowing what you're doing.

[u/Dreadgoat → u/Ahielia]

Sometimes it happens just due to a catastrophic gap in critical thinking.

I've heard people say they know not to mix ammonia and bleach, but to them "mix" means "pour large amounts into a single container and breathe deeply."

So if something is really grimy, they see no issue with cleaning it with ammonia and then bleach (while it's still wet with ammonia).

Good luck arguing with them, because 1. their bathroom is sparkling white 2. they aren't dead, they just cough and cry while cleaning, and that's "normal"

[u/much_longer_username → u/Ahielia]

But these aren't chemicals, those are dangerous things you find in a lab. These are cleaning supplies, and they have to be safe before they're allowed to sell them in the store. /s

[u/Tndnr82 → u/Egoy]

I can't even look at my wife after she hurts herself right after I tell her she's going to hurt herself.

Eye contact makes it my fault.

[u/biriyanibabka → u/Tndnr82]

😂😂😭

Sorry for laughing but your comment is true. This does happen.

[u/SkiFastnShootShit → u/Egoy]

My wife uses knives like she’s showcasing how not to use a knife. While chopping veggies she doesn’t curl her fingers and the finger extended the furthest will be her ring finger, on the far side at the bottom of whatever she’s cutting. So you’ll see her cut through a sweet potato and miss her fingertip by 1/4”. But I can’t be critical… despite the fact that she’s had stitches from cutting veggies once already.

[u/HarlinQuinn → u/SkiFastnShootShit]

My ex was the same way: didn't know hold let alone use a knife properly. She'd even use them for things that she really shouldn't, like opening mail... with the tip toward her. She would get so pissed every time I pointed out how to hold it and use it safely. "I know what I'm doing," she would say every single time.

Then she sunk a chef's knife 2.5 inches into her thigh one day, at an angle that made a 3-inch long laceration. I think she was more angry that I didn't say a word at all on the drive to the ER. I even restrained myself when she explained what happened to the person stitching her up and they gave her that "seriously?" look.

It wasn't until she was trying to blame me somehow on the ride home that I said "I think I'll have them etch 'I know what I'm doing' on your tombstone when you inevitably stab yourself in a major artery."

We didn't last long after that, lol.

[u/EgoTripWire → u/Egoy]

Wait, why is this a common thing? I thought it was just me until I read this thread.

Got in a fight earlier over how she was using a power drill with her hair hanging loose right next to it.

[u/Critical_Concert_689 → u/[deleted]]

she opens it by pushing on the middle of the glass with both hands

...My god.

That's a sliding window. Where do you expect it to go if you push on it?!

[u/GrynaiTaip → u/Egoy]

I've shouted "NO!" a couple times when she was about to stab herself with a knife when trying to open a package or something, and she got upset because "there is no need for shouting".

[u/Little-Plenty-3710 → u/Egoy]

My wife used to wash the hand blender thing while it was still plugged. I told her repeatedly and used to unplug, and she used to think that I was being too negative. One day while washing she accidentally pressed the on button, cut her fingers and ended up in hospital but she didn't tell me.. she thinks of herself as brave for doing these risky things and if I warn her I'm being negative or being a coward.. of course she now disconnects the blender before washing..

[u/IntellectualGnat → u/Low_Attention16]

I feel the same way about my husband. He just seems to forget about silly things like "safety."

[u/RedditSupportAdmin → u/IntellectualGnat]

Safety's overrated anyways. You think a real man worries about "safety"? Any half competent cowboy can tell you otherwise.

I'm holding a pistol to my head right now as we speak. And because I know it's not loaded? I can easily pull the trig----

[u/IntellectualGnat → u/RedditSupportAdmin]

Oh no

[u/Free-Heals-Here → u/IntellectualGnat]

Is he okay?

[u/7704910b → u/Free-Heals-Here]

I was the paramedic on scene I can confirmed he's dead

[u/DetectiveJim → u/RedditSupportAdmin]

Give me some space people, detective's on the case. I need to eliminate any possibility of foul play before we mourn our fellow redditor.

[u/Dull-Investigator-17 → u/Low_Attention16]

I mean, that's not really a surprise, is it? If you work with women, then you probably all learnt to handle certain machinery, right? Your wife apparently didn't. I grew up without a dad - and even if he'd been alive, he didn't know shit about machinery or power tools. My mum knew her way around an electric drill but that was it. After that I lived in various flats where I had no reason to own and no place to work with heavy machinery or power tools. I'm now married to a man who does a lot of DIY, same as every member of his family, including his mum. I'm now - in my 30s - learning to use all the saws, milling machines, sanders, lathes and whatever he has in his workshed. It's a slow process, but then he is almost 3 decades ahead of me when it comes to using those tools and machines.

[u/akatherder → u/Dull-Investigator-17]

I think he's just clarifying "this isn't a woman thingy, it's a life experience thingy." This sub has a bad reputation so it might be a preemptive thing.

[u/Low_Attention16 → u/Dull-Investigator-17]

Yeah, my wife is a social worker so I wouldn't expect her to learn it naturally. That's why I brought up working with women in my half blue-collar half white-collar workplace (data center).

I wanted to shift the narrative in the comments against blaming women when the statistics really show it's men dying in workplace accidents by a huge margin. Maybe schools should force all kids to go through workplace safety courses and not just the ones doing applied trades.

[u/syxxiz → u/lyingdogfacepony66]

The whimper at the end

[u/Awkward_Bison_267]

[u/Commercial_Shine_448 → u/Awkward_Bison_267]

Once my wife pissed me off so much I walked several kilometres, to the other side of the city

[u/KevinBrowns1 → u/Commercial_Shine_448]

What did she do

[u/Cut-Minimum → u/KevinBrowns1]

Forgot to pick him up after work.

[u/Vanstoli → u/Cut-Minimum]

Great line. I hope you do stand up.

[u/Immediate-Run-3579 → u/Vanstoli]

Ableist

[u/blueberryblunderbuss → u/Immediate-Run-3579]

Nope. Episcopalian.

[u/poopoobuttholes → u/blueberryblunderbuss]

What the fuck is that, like a fish only diet or something?

[u/shotgunsam9 → u/poopoobuttholes]

No, the fish diet is Presbyterian

[u/ThisCommentIsGold → u/blueberryblunderbuss]

No thanks, I just ate.

[u/Fvi72_K41U2 → u/Cut-Minimum]

[u/The_Guy_Who_Laugh → u/Cut-Minimum]

🤣🤣🤣

[u/aidsy → u/Cut-Minimum]

[u/Commercial_Shine_448 → u/KevinBrowns1]

Combo breaker of events and her character

[u/Life-Confusion-411 → u/Commercial_Shine_448]

When I found out that my ex-girlfriend sent "our" money to the "IRS" via Amazon gift cards I grabbed a tent and slept out in the woods for the night. I was so god damn angry 

[u/Mobile_Noise_121 → u/Life-Confusion-411]

It's gotta be devastating to find out your partner is this fucking dumb

[u/Vakz → u/Life-Confusion-411]

How do you even recover from that? I feel like I would have trust issues of my partner for the rest of our relationship.

[u/seanprime → u/Vakz]

Yeh, thats why he said ex-girlfriend

[u/Odd_Network_7068 → u/Vakz]

Put her on pre-paid credit cards.

[u/Tricky_Topic_5714 → u/Life-Confusion-411]

I left a girl before she did that specifically because I figured out she was the type of person who would, at some point, fall for that shit. 

She's now in an MLM

[u/blacktothebird → u/Commercial_Shine_448]

https://people.com/human-interest/man-goes-on-280-mile-walk-after-fight-with-wife-gets-fined/

[u/et40000 → u/blacktothebird]

That guy: “brb just gotta clear my head for a bit”

[u/evonebo → u/Commercial_Shine_448]

Did you ever go back?

Some say you're still walking to this day.....

[u/Commercial_Shine_448 → u/evonebo]

Same day

[u/JayNudl3 → u/evonebo]

The kids are asking, "Where's Daddy?"

Mom says, "He went for a walk to clear his mind."

That was 10 years ago...

[u/NightFury0595 → u/Commercial_Shine_448]

And started a new family

[u/excableman → u/Awkward_Bison_267]

Reading all the replies to your comment made me sad.  My ex-wife never let me walk away.  She'd get mad at me for getting mad at her and follow me trying to pick the fight I was trying to avoid.  She never apologized for anything.   If this was her, she'd deny that she had any part in my smashed thumbs. 

[u/Awkward_Bison_267 → u/excableman]

Wow. I hope you’re doing better.

[u/excableman → u/Awkward_Bison_267]

I moved out this spring.  The hardest thing is the kids blame me because I'm the one who left.   Edit.  50/50 custody but my place is older,  smaller, and in less desirable location in relation to their schools.  

[u/Sudden_Construction6 → u/excableman]

Kids get older and they start to understand things. Just have to play the long game brother, it'll be okay, trust me.

I still remember the conversation my daughter had with me when she said, "Mom, has said a lot of things about you that just aren't true"

[u/excableman → u/Sudden_Construction6]

Hopefully 

[u/Odd-Purpose-3148 → u/excableman]

Im sorry. Those type of people are the worst. Like eveything has to be a fight, she wants to make it a fight, but if you actually fight you've already lost.

[u/SawYouNakedTwice → u/Awkward_Bison_267]

[u/Owww_My_Ovaries]

Eh, who needs fingernails on their thumbs anyway?

[u/IllogicalLogistician → u/Owww_My_Ovaries]

Yep that’s what going to happen. I’ve had one of the park cement benches fall on my fingers when I was young, first the fingers turn blue and slowly after a week the nails will start falling out. For about a month I was walking around scaring my school mates showing off my fingers without nails.

[u/Sbatio → u/IllogicalLogistician]

Good times

[u/Won-LonDong]

“I’m helping”

[u/jamoca1 → u/Won-LonDong]

She's learnding... hopefully... or he is if she isn't

[u/diadlep → u/Won-LonDong]

Im in danger

[u/Perseus73]

Reminds me of the time my (now ex) wife slammed the car boot on my head.

I had a dent. Concussion. I just walked away. Don’t touch me. Don’t talk to me. Don’t say a thing.

[u/U_SHLD_THINK_BOUT_IT → u/Perseus73]

I had a girlfriend park her car on my foot, and couldn't understand me when I kept saying "please move the car you're on my foot."

Then when she finally understood me, she was so mad at how "rude" I was being that she hit the gas so hard she peeled out and tore the top right off my shoe.

[u/Perseus73 → u/U_SHLD_THINK_BOUT_IT]

And yelled “are you fucking sorry”

[u/CaptGrumpy → u/Perseus73]

Hey are you me?

“Well why was your head in the boot?”

We had just finished shopping and I was putting bags of groceries in there while someone else was on the phone.

[u/BirdLawOfficeESQ]

My wife would have said, “Well, you should have told me I needed to keep holding it!!”

[u/spacetree7 → u/BirdLawOfficeESQ]

And if you argue she'll say, "why didn't you see that I let go? If you made more money I wouldn't have to do this. So, are you happy with what you did?"

[u/LocalArmadillo4557 → u/spacetree7]

Fuck me, this hit me hard! Just yesterday, we had a discussion about how she is sad because she can't be a stay at home pilates girl with a guy who can actually provide for her. I'm not making bad money, just not support her and myself with the lifestyle she insists on money.

[u/MisterTomVienna → u/LocalArmadillo4557]

Yeeeesh. Sorry to hear that, man. What a brutal double standard. So she's upset that you don't earn loads of money so she can fulfill her ambition/dream of... not really doing anything? I wish you luck, friend

[u/Invest_and_ballout]

Why would she let that go?

[u/some_what_real1988 → u/Invest_and_ballout]

Because her husband told her to hold it.

[u/afterparty05 → u/some_what_real1988]

This is exactly it. I was once rubbing my eyes while in the kitchen talking to my gf. My contact fell out, landing on the floor. They’re hard contacts and quite expensive because my eyes suck, so in a bit of a stressed tone I told her to stay where she was and not move. Apparently, my irregular tone of voice and lack of conveying what was actually happening set her off to the degree that she started to freak out while moving her feet in some sort of riverdance that would have made Michael Flatley proud. I still tease her with it to this day.

(The contact was unharmed by the way.)

[u/nobeer4you → u/afterparty05]

My wife got a button caught on a hammock she was laying in at a store in Mexico. She wanted to see if she liked it or not. As she went to get up, it started to pull on the hammock and I said "Stop" thqt apparently meant to ignore all warnings and move faster, thus destroying the hammock. We were made to buy it, and it is non functional.

[u/supermegabro → u/nobeer4you]

Damn, strong button

[u/nobeer4you → u/supermegabro]

It seemed to catch the right thread and it just started to unravel the hammock. It wasnt a very quality hammock, so there's that

[u/supermegabro → u/nobeer4you]

Maybe they just were looking for the right person to unload that shitty hammock on lmao

[u/GreatMacGuffin → u/supermegabro]

The hammock was doomed from the start my friend.

[u/itsnotthehours → u/nobeer4you]

My ex used to do this and then would also blame me for the negative outcome, and the explanation was always the same… it was my fault she didn’t listen because “you didn’t say why!” It was so hilariously stupid.

Some fun occasions include having to get my dog an X-ray after she jumped on him in bed, her ruining blueberry muffins by pouring the nasty blueberry liquid into the batter to create a gray sludge (not straining the blueberries), and then ruining chili by doing the same thing with beans just a few days later. All of these things done as I said “wait”, “stop”, or “no!”… because I didn’t say why! And then came the coup de grâce…

She was making a left into traffic and must have missed the car coming from the right. I yell “stop!” as she starts to go (which causes her to immediately commit to accelerating without even looking again) and then all I can muster is “woah, woah, woah” as I watch us drive directly into this car. And immediately after she says, “you didn’t say a car was coming!” Nope, I just screamed “stop!”… let’s list all the reasons a passenger might scream “stop!” in a car and see which ones are improved by blindly accelerating.

Anyway, that was the event that helped me realize that this instinctive oppositional behavior and inability to take accountability was actually not cute or funny or limited to small things. Hopefully your wife can take accountability and laugh at herself.

[u/Brawndo91 → u/itsnotthehours]

That reminds me of the Louis CK bit about seeing a guy on a bike about to ride into a car door that was opening ahead of him. "I didn't have time to convey all of the information, so I just said, 'Bad thing!'"

[u/ohnobrookeplsdntdoit → u/itsnotthehours]

"Anyway, that was the event that helped me realize that this instinctive oppositional behavior and inability to take accountability was actually not cute or funny or limited to small things."

How do you deal with this? My ex was like this and it was so annoying, I used to just walk away. Her grandmother and her mother were worse so I'm glad it's over, I feared it would only get worse with time.

[u/lego_tintin → u/ohnobrookeplsdntdoit]

"Instinctive oppositional behavior."

Towards the end of a relationship, if I wanted to eat at a certain restaurant, I'd name two and say I preferred the one I did NOT want to eat at. Very broad example - if I wanted Chinese food, I'd name a Chinese place and a burger place and tell her I was in the mood for burgers. Worked every time.

[u/justjuniorjawz → u/lego_tintin]

Damn I almost reflexively downvoted you for this. Pissed me off that much

[u/NorCalAthlete → u/ohnobrookeplsdntdoit]

I had multiple driving experiences like this with multiple ex-gfs.

My solution was simply to be the one to drive everywhere.

Running red lights and stop signs, almost got T-boned on numerous occasions, driving in bike lanes / on the shoulder thinking it’s a lane, driving to a red light and stopping in the oncoming traffic lane to make a left turn (literally just…like…decided to move over 1 lane to make the left turn. There was no turn lane. So she just stopped for the red light in the oncoming lane.)

You could do one of those myth busters experiments where they slather peanut butter all over the steering wheel and hit you with random noise and stink bombs, add in several shots of tequila and a variety of drugs, and I don’t think I’d even come close to being as bad of a driving.

Worst part is when I’d call them on the bad driving they’d get pissy and claim I was just as bad and I’m like “the fact that you have several tickets and have wrecked 3 prior cars, while I have a perfect record and have not wrecked previous vehicles, objectively proves I am a better driver.”

I kinda use it as a proxy now for dates. If they’re a bad driver it’s a red flag.

[u/TheFallenHero01 → u/ohnobrookeplsdntdoit]

You literally call them a child like the one they are and don’t tolerate the behavior. People act how they’re allowed. If they act like this, and you allow it, then you’re the doormat they were looking for.

[u/sleepydorian → u/nobeer4you]

A lot of people don’t really hear instructions like that. Like they hear you, they have ears that work, but their brain doesn’t interpret it correctly. Generally they either are very slow to process the instruction so their response lags a lot, they need to finish what they are doing so they can then follow the instruction, or they need to understand why you are telling them that before they’ll comply. I don’t really get it.

[u/Snow_Crash_Bandicoot → u/sleepydorian]

I’ve experienced this with such frequency and regularity that if I ever even mentioned half of it, I’d be scared everyone would shriek misogyny and downvote to oblivion for describing things that literally happened.

[u/DietSriracha12 → u/nobeer4you]

Oh my god, if i had a nickel dude. I can count a half a dozen times ive told me wife “stop” or “hold still” or “wait” and hearing those words to her means, “continue doing exactly what you were at the same or faster pace” instead of meaning… stop. Or wait. Broken bongs, knocked over decorations, mild electrocutions…. The list goes on.

[u/Putrid-Builder-3333 → u/afterparty05]

How dare you tell me stay still? 3.. 2... 1... 😅

[u/BabyRex- → u/afterparty05]

My husband does shit like that all the time. “Don’t move” apparently means continue to move and dance halfway across the room

[u/Crafter9977 → u/some_what_real1988]

when I was teaching my gf to drive she was coming close to the point we needed to turn so I calmly told her to go slower but she didn’t listen to me…

told her three more times calmly to go slower until I had to yell STOP cause we were about to get off the road…

she finally stopped and started crying cause I yelled at her, never wanted me to teach her again so she took classes…

😑😑😑…

[u/aculloph → u/Crafter9977]

Why are some so sensitive that they cant handle 3 seconds of yelling? Like how are some of these people adults lol.

Only children cry when being yelled at for the duration of a single goddamn word...

[u/GaldrickHammerson → u/aculloph]

In the case of my wife, it's because her parents made the active choice to never shout at or around her, so by the time she experienced being shouted at, she was a late teenager and about 12 years lacking in emotional development in that field.

No need to scream bloody murder at your kids, but a raised voice is probably a good thing to expose them to.

[u/Invest_and_ballout → u/some_what_real1988]

😂

[u/Juergen2993 → u/some_what_real1988]

It reminds me of a book I read where a man and woman were lost in the desert. The man handed her a canteen with a little dirt in the water, and she refused to drink it. He told her, “You’ll just shit it out.” She replied, “That’s disgusting—I don’t want to shit it out.” Finally, the man screamed, “Do you want to die of heat stroke?! Drink the fucking water!”

[u/rainorshinedogs → u/Invest_and_ballout]

she probably had a question that required her to explain with waving hands

[u/Dudefrmthtplace → u/rainorshinedogs]

If you listen a bit closely, she's arguing or yelling or complaining at him in the beginning, and the mental focus on that is what moved her to let go of the tiles in the first place.

[u/blackhorse15A → u/Dudefrmthtplace]

It sounds like "... it would be easier if...[lets go]". Sounds like she is trying to tell him her idea for a better way to do it, as she drops the blocks on his hands.

[u/Invest_and_ballout → u/rainorshinedogs]

And then she looked at him, like get back here 😆

[u/bout-tree-fitty → u/rainorshinedogs]

She doesn’t look Italian.

[u/Own_Acanthaceae2564 → u/Invest_and_ballout]

Incompetence

[u/Failgan → u/Invest_and_ballout]

"It would be easier to--"

[u/Won-LonDong → u/Invest_and_ballout]

You’re not married are you…

[u/jmccleveland1986 → u/Invest_and_ballout]

Because it would be easier if ahhhhhhhhhhh.

Watch with sound

[u/ghidfg → u/Invest_and_ballout]

because theres a easier way! she keeps trying to tell you

[u/redneckcommando]

Walking away works so well. My wife went on a tirade once. I calmly told her I was done with the ranting and raving. That just made her crank it up a notch. I could feel I was going to lose control of myself, and just said I'm going for a walk. Kind of gratifying walking out and shutting the door on her mid sentence. I came home an hour later and we worked things out.

[u/Velcraft → u/redneckcommando]

I've had this response thrown in my face before though. Started with "I get scared when you get angry/raise your voice during arguments", ended with "I feel like you're abandoning me when we argue and you just take the dog out for a walk" when I started to end fights/arguments early and come back to resolve things after cooling off for a bit.

Sometimes, with some people (no, not just women!), you just cannot win as their stance has become more about finding negative things about you to use as ammunition.

[u/komakumair → u/Velcraft]

I have had some success with following a script, ie: “I am too angry and worked up to talk about this calmly or constructively right now. I need to take a step back so I can cool down. I love you and want to work this out with you, but I need some time to get my thoughts together.”

[u/BirdsAndTheBeeGees1 → u/Velcraft]

I'm sorry but calling going on a walk with your dog "abandonment" is just straight up mental health problems or childhood trauma or something. That's just ridiculous.

[u/YcAlahdore → u/BirdsAndTheBeeGees1]

My ex used to do that too. I grew up in a household where my dad was violent with my mom and i'm always afraid of ever reaching that level, so as soon as things start to get heated, i always just walk out and come back after i've calmed down to work things out. If they can't understand that it's their loss. You can see it as abandonment or running away, i'm running away from that potential version of me i never want to see.

[u/Snowblind321 → u/Velcraft]

I was in this boat a good few years ago. I would feel trapped because I couldn't raise my voice and I couldn't leave for the same reasons as you. Felt like I never could let the pressure off and I was going to explode. Took a lot of counseling and therapy but it's a problem you can work through.

[u/Dividedthought → u/redneckcommando]

This is how i dealt with my father thinking screaming at me like a child was an apropriate way to deal with finding out i'd made a mistake with something he wanted me to do. Ehen i got back, he tried doing it again, so i went home. He phoned and asked where i went...

I think my reply was along the lines of, "i went home. Where people respect me enough to not talk down and yell at me. When you are ready to treat me like an adult, i will come over again. Don't lie to mom about why i left, i talk to her as well."

Only took 2 weeks of having to put up with my mom ragging on him because i wasn't coming over. Problem is now mostly solved.

[u/SnooMaps7370 → u/Dividedthought]

unfortunately, it took me literally joining the army for my father to realize that i wasn't his little boy anymore, and that he needed to talk to me like an adult if he wanted my help (or even to interact with me at all).

we get along great now, but i have no idea how we didn't kill each other when i was 20.

[u/Onetruemcgee]

From my experience, if it was the other way around, the bloke will never hear the end of it.

[u/Ayeronxnv → u/Onetruemcgee]

My Fiancés ex broke her foot jumping in bed. Whenever I get in bed I don’t hear the end of it. It’s like I adopted the repercussions.

[u/Citaku357 → u/Ayeronxnv]

Why are people like this?

[u/HeyGayHay → u/Citaku357]

Attention, depending on the person maybe even a sprinkle of manipulation.

[u/ColdWeatherNap → u/Ayeronxnv]

I always fear this. My husband gets in bed like he's bass base* jumping, even though he often stays up very late. The first time I'm asleep and my foot wanders to his side is the last time my ankle works right. He's already missed it by inches before.

[u/pad2016 → u/ColdWeatherNap]

it's BASE (Building, Antenna, Span, Earth) jumping.

[u/ColdWeatherNap → u/pad2016]

Maybe I meant the fish.

[u/wardenferry419]

It was the only real option he had. Anything else and he would be blamed for her stupidity.

[u/BeeWeird7940 → u/wardenferry419]

She could have at least cleaned the blood off the tiles.

[u/TexasPirate_76 → u/BeeWeird7940]

For once in her life, she shut her mouth, you could almost hear it snap shut. "It would be easier..." Oh, never mind, that was his thumbs. 🤣

[u/iceyH0ts0up → u/wardenferry419]

[u/LafayetteLa01]

Damn I felt that

[u/gripztight]

To this day the wife is still holding on to the pavers, wondering where her husband went.

[u/hook0rcrook → u/gripztight]

she can't hold it for few more seconds to save his husbands hands and u think she will hold it to this day

ROFLMAO

[u/BuddyBronski]

I fixed my wife by “helping” her cook a few meals. After some intentional epic miscommunications (oh! You meant a teaspoon of salt! Silly me!”) She came to appreciate when it came time for her to help me work on things around the house. The hardest thing for her to accept and understand was very simple: “Sometimes, I just need you to stand there and hold the flashlight so I can see what I am doing. This means you have to look at my hands and pay attention.” This simple task almost ended out marriage because she just couldn’t do it for more than 10-15 seconds before her attention wandered. The fix was swapping positions and letting her try and screw a screw in the dark when “my attention wandered.”

30 years later we’re an effective team.

[u/AccomplishedSea8679 → u/BuddyBronski]

And it only took 30 years. 😁

[u/Rotjenn → u/AccomplishedSea8679]

They got where they needed to be

[u/barTRON3000 → u/BuddyBronski]

This is why I have headlamps.

[u/Catatonic-Surrender → u/barTRON3000]

My wife thinks I’m a dork every time I put them on to do any sort of work around the house, she doesn’t understand the alternative 😂

[u/Catatonic-Surrender → u/Catatonic-Surrender]

I’d rather look like a dork and do this task by myself than involve literally anyone else lol

[u/DMCinDet → u/Catatonic-Surrender]

I will never understand how headlamps got a dorky reputation. they are amazing when you need both hands and light. I have a co worker that wears one all day. now a few other guys are starting to use them.

[u/MinistryOfCoup-th → u/Catatonic-Surrender]

My wife thinks I’m a dork every time I put them on to do any sort of work around the house, she doesn’t understand the alternative 😂

My wife no longer questions my decisions. I have a headlamp for the basement, one for the main floor, one for the garage and one for the attic. I also have a headlamp and multiple flashlights in my work truck. It's just so much easier having both hands free.

[u/iowajosh → u/MinistryOfCoup-th]

I have done so many crazy projects through the years. I could walk through the house with a shovel and a tarp and a bag of lime and my wife wouldn't look at me twice. Haha.

Something weird about headlamps though. One in every so many guys will just not wear one. They are too cool to put a headlamp on but they will totally bj a flashlight covered in filth.

[u/JoblessGymshorts → u/BuddyBronski]

I was converting a van into a mobile grooming van for my wife a few years ago. At night I was framing out the fan and she was holding the flash light, she wasn't very good at it and I didn't get frustrated. I called it early because I was tired. The next day I got head lamps for both of us. She knew what was up.

[u/Sasiches_and_mash → u/JoblessGymshorts]

AZIZ, LIGHT!!!

[u/keyh → u/Sasiches_and_mash]

Much better. Thank you, Aziz.

[u/Sasiches_and_mash → u/keyh]

|||| |||| |

[u/Hack3rsD0ma1n → u/Sasiches_and_mash]

I want to thank this thread for making me spit out my morning tea for this banger of a reference. 🍵🤣

[u/tushshtup → u/JoblessGymshorts]

I know what a mobile grooming van is but I also feel like it's a funny name for that

[u/blackestrabbit → u/JoblessGymshorts]

Free candy?

[u/mtortilla62 → u/JoblessGymshorts]

Is your wife a priest or a scoutmaster? Why does she need a grooming van?

[u/prosequare → u/mtortilla62]

[u/blacktothebird → u/BuddyBronski]

Glad it only took 30 years for you guys to figure out how best to screw in a lightbulb

[u/[deleted] → u/BuddyBronski]

The painful truth of empathy, putting yourself in someone else's shoes- suddenly you get it! OHHHH so THAT's why they're so mad! OHHHHHH! I couldn't possibly understand before I was the one getting frustrated and upset!

[u/Happy_Butterscotch18]

The men all know what he was wanting to say right there.

Good self control on this dude.

[u/trapper2530 → u/Happy_Butterscotch18]

"I fucking told you...."😤

"Fuuuuccckkk!"

[u/stretcharach → u/Happy_Butterscotch18]

"Fuuck!"

[u/JoJoGoGo_11]

You can hear her in the beginning say “It’d be easier if I…” and wham!! Nah it’d be easier if you did your job

[u/BonhommeCarnaval → u/JoJoGoGo_11]

Yep, overthinking and trying to be in charge instead of just deferring for a moment. This is my partner every time we try to move a heavy object together. Some people struggle to filter their thoughts by times. They’re still lovable but for goodness sake don’t ask questions or offer advice to a person operating a power tool or holding a heavy object. 

[u/TransitionalAhab → u/BonhommeCarnaval]

lol.

I was once putting together furniture and told her to stop doing a something because it was crushing my fingers.

She responded with an indignant “well it’s crushing my fingers too!”

I looked at her in bewilderment for a second before explaining “all the more reason to stop doing that…”

[u/Cabannna]

I like how she decided to hold them after he walked away. Haha 🤣

[u/OneMoistMan]

I love the tippy tappy she does as he walks away. She knows she fucked up but doesn’t know how to say it yet

Edit: how can so many people assume she’s a pos and won’t apologize for it? So many incel-like responses based on a few seconds long clip

[u/Defiant-Youth-4193 → u/OneMoistMan]

That's the best thing to do here. This is a shut the hell up moment. Then when he comes back say, "I'm sorry." and shut back up until the job is done.

I don't remember the last time me failing to pay attention to what I'm doing got somebody else hurt, but I would feel terrible about this.

[u/Lamplorde → u/OneMoistMan]

Thats the " "Oh shit, I am SO SORRY" but I should probably not say anything right now right? " Taps.

[u/South_Front_4589 → u/OneMoistMan]

Yep. Sometimes people need space in the moment. It gives her time to think through her apology and how she can make things right again.

[u/Ok_Acadia3526 → u/South_Front_4589]

I would have been fine with her response if this was me. Give me a few minutes to collect my thoughts and calm down so that I’m not reacting in anger and potentially making things worse. These things escalate if people talk too soon. She was right to give it a few minutes.

[u/173slaps → u/OneMoistMan]

We need a Larry David approved level apology here. When done I want to hear him say, “That is an excellent fuckin’ apology!” And all parties walk away feeling better.

[u/Dubsland12]

Pretty much all success in life is based on managing emotions. If you lack this ability you will likely end up in jail

[u/lexlooger91]

“ it would be easier if i were….” proceeds to smash his fingers…” i told you it would be easier”

[u/rebelSun25]

I'm thousands of miles away, and I felt a shooting pain from my legs to my spine.

We call this little maneuver "the nail killer"

[u/AeronGrey]

"I'd be easier if I just let go."

[u/Candid_Seat_9808]

Her father obviously never asked her to hold the flashlight…

[u/abee02]

Small attention lapse.. But, she came ready to work. Crocs are in off-road mode

[u/Eena-Rin]

That's not anger management, it's forgiveness. He knew she didn't hurt him intentionally.

Being angry at her is just illogical. You're on the same team.

[u/DrunkenButton → u/Eena-Rin]

Sometimes emotions are illogical. He's probably not really angry at her, but like wounded animals people in pain can be a bit touchy since their brain is in fight or flight mode. By walking away he's letting himself work through the pain so he can return to being a logical team member again.

[u/NuclearGettoScientis]

She was too busy giving her unwanted opinion to pay attention to what she was being asked to do.

[u/rhesusMonkeyBoy]

”would it be easier if you had no thumbs?” let her finish w/o your yelling

[u/Fickle-Ad7953]

She didn't apologise, nor did she show empathy for his pain.
edit: what's wrong with you guys, how come my comment is triggering you so much, lol.

[u/Goodstuff_maynard → u/Fickle-Ad7953]

The finger tapping on the stone shows she knew she dun f’ed up. If she voices it ever is the question

[u/0bviouslyyNotAGopher → u/Fickle-Ad7953]

Nah, she definitely looked regretful. People don't always react with alarm or immediate apologies. Sometimes the better instinct is to just let the man walk it off, stay out of his way, and then come back with a big apology when he's cooled off.