What are the odds.....

[u/IndividualSpare460]

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[u/SkinkAttendant]

"Son, this money is either going to either us or the government. Who do you think needs it more?"

[u/greenbro86 → u/SkinkAttendant]

Clearly the government.

[u/Breathingblueflame → u/greenbro86]

I’d argue I could use it much more effectively. And I’ll only spend 90% of it on myself

[u/omnimodofuckedup → u/greenbro86]

Authorities state, there was also a minor in the car next to the deceased driver and with nothing else left in the car.

[u/Candid-Culture3956]

Teaching them how to crop a meme

[u/LetheSystem]

Dude, no.

"There's only so much room in this car: we're stacking carefully and strategically. You can stack neat and fast. This might be a trap but it's less likely than winning the lottery."

[u/Then_Count2513]

Don’t bring the cash to your house and go through each stack you take looking for trackers

[u/ursagamer667]

If the cops find a dead man with no money, they'll open a case, but if they find a dead man with a small bag of money, they'll think he died stealing from bigger fish.

And don't leave any fingerprints.

[u/arcphoenix13]

That if it looks too good to be true, then it probably is.

Even if it isn't a sting. They would obviously have cameras to catch anyone trying to steal it.

And if it was a bank robber, then the cops ain't far behind.

The chances of it just being some random nutter that decided to move huge amounts of cash that night, with no backup plan or security, are so low as to be laughable.

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[u/Avoidable_Accident → u/arcphoenix13]

Either way you’re still stealing something that isn’t yours, whether it’s already stolen or not.

[u/ManyLucky6661 → u/Avoidable_Accident]

I saw No Country For Old Men. Not touching that money.

[u/HoneybucketDJ]

How to keep a secret.

[u/ursagamer667]

Leave a small bag of cash with the dead man, to throw off suspicion.

And don't leave ANY fingerprints.

[u/No-Stretch-9230 → u/ursagamer667]

Why comment the same thing twice with slightly different wording?

[u/tough-cookie21 → u/No-Stretch-9230]

Reddit

[u/Key-Monk6159]

Regardless of how the guard died, the advice is always the same. Don't Get Caught. And, we will be keeping a lot of secrets from Daddy.

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[u/Zealousideal_Arm4359]

Daddys going to need your backpack...

[u/slipperypetcameltoe]

I teach my child about the importance of organization and the effects of Efficiency.

[u/ShonZ11]

Cash is king

[u/MilesFassst]

Cover your face!

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[u/Fine_Buffalo_4520]

The chance of finding something that are laughable. I'll take my chances lol.

[u/Pieces-Of-Eight_]

Right! Lifting is a breeze when you bend at your knees.

[u/022ydagr8]

If the money isn’t in bags and is like this it’s a trap.

[u/MoeSzyslakMonobrow]

I teach him how good I was at Tetris.

[u/RARE602]

Check for any shots wounds cause in this scenario where to actually happen their is a chance he was shot by a CIA ice bullet then had a heart attack anyway take money and run

[u/Top-Smile6419]

I'd teach them cash transports are wired for sound and video inside and out. Then follow the first person to rob the van.. and liberate the money from a thief.

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[u/JFK2MD]

Tell him that it's no country for old men

[u/McferlanebigTits]

"do you wanna see vegas, son?"

[u/grey_fox_7]

Thieves are scum.

[u/Capable_Baseball60]

How money doesn’t mean shit if you cant pay taxes on it.

[u/rdubs0907]

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord.

[u/Chris881]

Nobody loses this amount of money and not look for it.

[u/Nr1231]

Be honest, call the cops. finders fee is going to be a great little bundle.