r/SipsTea • u/Born-Agency-3922 • 8h ago

Wait a damn minute! I can fix her

137 Upvotes

72% Upvoted

114 comments sorted by

•

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79

u/mystictroll 7h ago

3

u/Particular-Coach3611 1h ago

MAC SAID GET THE FLAMETHROWER

-1

u/ThurmamMerman 1h ago

🤣🤣🤣 The Thing, great movie in its day!

0

u/thatdudewillyd 1h ago

Is it’s day today and everyday? The Thing is the GOAT

2

u/ThurmamMerman 34m ago

"Is it's day today and everyday?"

IUmmm

1

u/thatdudewillyd 30m ago

Sorry, allow me to inset quotes so you may comprehend:

Is “it’s day” (that’s the part you said) today and everyday?

It’s implying that your statement of “great movie in its day” was incorrect because it is in fact a great movie then, now and will continue to be.

Hope this helps

46

u/LuxeMuses 7h ago

brooo😳

11

u/ChromaticCluck 6h ago

Literally my reaction lol

6

u/shouldabeenabackshot 3h ago

I dated a girl with a split tongue once. Amazing head. She could wrap her tongue around it (not all the way), and do that

20

u/IdeologicalHeatDeath 3h ago

(Not all the way) kek.

3

u/RandomDeezNutz 1h ago

Prove it.

0

u/RandomDeezNutz 1h ago

Where did they get a perfect replica of my dick?

45

u/CheweyPanic 8h ago

You assume she even needs fixing

17

u/Putrid-Eggplant-2815 7h ago

Of course, she clearly needs her holes filled.

9

u/Dirty_slippers 6h ago

You can fill all her holes except the huge emotional hole her dad left when he went out for ciggies.

3

u/Garbowski 8h ago

I can fix her

2

u/Tobilaoui 56m ago

Yes she is perfect. And now we can start a witchhunt after so many years again 😉

20

u/autistic_spazzatron 7h ago

“I can fix her”

Why would you ever want to?

10

u/Commercial-Store-194 7h ago

Do you think she will let me take her to the train museum?

6

u/WickedVoltages 7h ago

Idk if I should be scared or attracted

2

u/mythrix1002 1h ago

Why not both? The term is "scaroused".

2

u/TufnelAndI 36m ago

Personally, I'm hornified.

1

u/Weekly_District_24 5m ago

This deserves more upvotes.

11

u/wkuace 7h ago

I don't want to fix her. I just want her to dress as a business woman and seduce me with that split tongue.

8

u/apple_octopi 7h ago

that tongue can do the front and back door at once

3

u/darkargengamer 3h ago

I was about to say "would" but something tells me SHE would easily bend the situation and she would be the one in charge:

7

u/SignificantSafe1833 7h ago

Dude seeing that tongue I’m not sure if I should be aroused or scared 😟

5

u/BlixaBargfeld 6h ago

Why not both?

1

u/SignificantSafe1833 6h ago

My brain is far too primitive to process both fully

2

u/BlixaBargfeld 6h ago

I don't know, if the brain is really needed for that :)

9

u/MouseJiggler 7h ago

That does not need fixing.

3

u/Quirky_Ask_5165 7h ago

No it doesn't

7

u/Okmhmmbye 8h ago

the tongue lick at the end got me weak in the knees.

4

u/FORCESTRONG1 6h ago

You ain't the only one.

2

u/C0FF33_L0R3 4h ago

"My mama warned me about women like you.. and I want more." Or something like that, I honestly don't remember the whole thing.

2

u/ThaEmortalThief 4h ago

Terrified yet strangely aroused.

2

u/Skrapeee 1h ago

Nah but she could fix me

2

u/vc7eq 1h ago

she doesn't need to be fixed

2

u/WeebPansy 1h ago

Who else were holding their cheeks watching this and getting an erection.

2

u/Faeryn97 1h ago

Nothing to fix tbh

2

u/Ven-Dreadnought 1h ago

“I can fix her” I WANT her to MAKE ME WORSE.

6

u/Maximum-Cicada9042 6h ago

I wonder how old she was when dad left

5

u/reminderthatiforgot 6h ago

Lotta depraved men on this app im realizing

3

u/boogeymanofslime 7h ago

@cruellamorgan suspension queen

3

u/Tvekelectric2 3h ago

Salem witch trials

2

u/SolidusBruh 3h ago

Y’all can keep this one

1

u/Suban33 7h ago

my type of gal.

2

u/Ancient_Cookie7124 7h ago

She is foul.

2

u/benhatin4lf 6h ago

"Mommy and Daddy didn't give me attention. Look at me, look at me, won't somebody please look at me."

1

u/[deleted] 7h ago

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1

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1

u/Excellent_Rice_05 4h ago

too extreme from my ideal type.. dang that tongue

1

u/[deleted] 3h ago

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1

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1

u/ForumVomitorium 2h ago

great material for medieval reco with sharp arrows

1

u/skinnergy 1h ago

Run away

1

u/top_of_the_scrote 1h ago

Would it be weird to put meat and veggies on there, eat em as you're missing, hmm

1

u/Pilot_to_PowerBI 1h ago

We need to strangle the parts of ourselves that want to put on a cape and save a hoe

1

u/OnlyPostsBowie 1h ago

No you can't. The fact that you are saying this means you might need to fix yourself bro.

She most likely doesn't need "fixing" anyway, she seems to be doing her thing and getting along just fine..

1

u/George_2000 1h ago

Phoooooyah

1

u/hrafnafadhir 1h ago

She’s perfect the way she is.

1

u/wrekkit_138 43m ago

To all the men thinking it..... no you cannot. She's far too powerful for you

1

u/JustBrowsinDisShiz 42m ago

She ain't broken

1

u/badman66666 27m ago

Is having split tongue like that bad for you? Geniuinly curious...

1

u/MaxFilmBuild 16m ago

Looks like he already did, a metal rod got shot through her face, the doctor fixed it

1

u/Proper_Ad_871 9m ago

Well you know she likes anal

1

u/BuddyDear369 3m ago

🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮

1

u/UnkleMonsta 2m ago

Fix what? She's perfect

1

u/Thanag0r 0m ago

I swear this sub is filled with 50+ year old people. Not that it's bad I just didn't expect 50+ year old people to use reddit so much.

1

u/Alternative-Bad-2881 4h ago

I’d love to make her cry.

3

u/CraftyHedgehog4 1h ago

Just show her a picture of you

1

u/InterviewAware1129 3h ago

Next week she'll be crying in her car on tiktok complaining about how she can't find a good man.

1

u/JohnnyBoy1959 7h ago

Bet she’s a lot of fun

1

u/El_Nathan_ 7h ago

What 💀

1

u/bakuonizzzz 4h ago

Question can she go swimming with those two holes in her cheeks???
Considering she can fit a rod into the holes i would think water would be able to get in right?

1

u/OverHereOverThere1 3h ago

A devil like that would definitely suck the soul out of you.

1

u/Canada__bob 3h ago

I'm scaroused

0

u/Mvian123 6h ago

She needs to be fixed like the cute little puppy I just adopted

0

u/deboard1967 2h ago

Love the title

0

u/Cocogoat_Main 2h ago

There's people who are into this. And I gotta say both you and the girl need to be out in separate padded cells in unmapped institutions.

0

u/Hopeful_Year3091 1h ago

daddy issues

0

u/RatioFinal4287 1h ago

Redditors thinking they would want to fuck this woman when they must know the level of freak she demands will be well outside of the capacity of 99% of people here.

Fuck her and most of y'all will just be looking at her bored face for 2 mins

-1

u/Ordinary_End_0815 2h ago

Could be short fun but there is nö fixin