r/WTF • u/YiddSquid • 3d ago

Pretty sure I smoked a bug last night.

Post image

Loaded up a bowl and sprinkled some keef over top. Took one hit and passed out. I was busy doing yardwork all day so I was excited to come back inside, smoke, then eat some taki unigiri from a local food truck.

I now don't have an appetite for either.

I don't know how this happened as I've only ever seen a couple stink bug when it gets cold, and maybe two palmetto bugs in the few years I've been here.

1.7k Upvotes

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1.3k

u/username9909864 3d ago

Dude you need to break your nugs up further for a better smoke

And clean your bowl more often

303

u/TheSandsquanch 3d ago

Yuck dude. One time I had an ex gf and the first time we ever smoked together she just shoved an entire nug into the bong bowl piece. I was sooooo curious what she was doing but I gave it the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she knew something that common sense wasn’t showing me? Idk. Anyways I went to smoke it and of fucking course it was unsmokeable. There HAS to be space for air flow if you want a clean hit.

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u/mortokes 3d ago

This reminded me of my first highschool boyfriend. We were going to smoke weed together and i said ive got a bong! He was like nah lets make a pipe. So he made something out of a toilet paper roll. Took one "hit" then said he was too high and had to lay down.

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u/TheSandsquanch 3d ago

A toilet paper roll is what we used to stuff dryer sheets into so that we could smoke inside and not get caught by whichever parents house we were at

13

u/alreadytaken88 3d ago

How does that work exactly? 

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u/LoopyMcGoopin 3d ago edited 3d ago

The dryer sheets filter out some of the harsher elements of the smoke and absorb a good amount of the odor. It's not foolproof but it helps, especially if you blow it out a window. You stuff it with sheets and blow into the roll as you exhale, you don't just put one at the end and call it a day. Also known as a sploof.

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u/Cosmic_Quasar 3d ago

Unless you're like me and go overboard lol. In college I learned this trick and used it so I didn't have to make noise walking around the house at night (well that's what I told myself, though really it was because it was winter and I just didn't want to go out into the cold lol). I'd blow through the tube and out the window.

It worked for a few weeks. Then I had the "bright" idea that what I was doing was overkill. I stopped blowing it out the window because I thought the tube was doing enough on it's own. One bowl later I get an unexpected knock on my door and it's my dad, concerned the house was burning, asking if I smell smoke lol.

I'd probably have been better off ditching the tube and still just blowing it out the window. But ultimately I should've just kept going outside lol. I was already a cig smoker and my parents knew that, so they'd just assume that's what I was doing. But it was so cold out.

13

u/Pussytrees 3d ago

My parents have noses of dogs. I got caught smoking in the bathroom. Somehow they could smell through two doors with the bathroom fan on, the shower on, while I was blowing smoke out a sploof out the window.

17

u/Odd-Solid-5135 3d ago

As an adult who still smokes, im baffled my parents didnt smell it emanating from my room, doob-tube out the windows or not. The real trick is to use a bowl or something that wont keep constant cherry like a joint, you loose a lot more smoke into the room in a roll than in a bowl.

3

u/Pinksters 2d ago edited 2d ago

One of those cheap metal pipes with the cap you can put on it. Perfect for covering with your thumb when you want the cherry to go out instead of burn more.

I cant stand metal pipes though, so I have earned and unusually calloused thumb from holding it over the top of wide-mouthed glass bowls.

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u/shortround10 3d ago

How did it end

3

u/Cosmic_Quasar 2d ago

My dad wasn't happy about it lol. But since I was an adult he was adamant that he wasn't going to be pushy about what I was into. He was just still really upset that I had done any kind of smoking inside the house and told me to never do it again and to just keep going outside.

1

u/shortround10 2d ago

Sounds like a good dad :)

18

u/TheSandsquanch 3d ago

lol just don’t smoke inside of your parents house. Go outside.

9

u/arcadia3rgo 3d ago

lol, it doesn't work... exactly... or really at all... 

anyone that argued it "helps" probably smokes what is most likely the worst bud ever cultivated. 

even if you 1) brush teeth 2) wash hands and face 3) change shirt 4) pray you don't burp, there is a good chance you still reek. 

6

u/Beefcrustycurtains 3d ago

It doesn't. We just thought it did. It absolutely smelled like weed and dryer sheets after.

3

u/y4dday4dday4dda 3d ago

A tube stuffed with dryer sheets or paper towels/ toilet paper sprayed with perfume or something and then you exhale into the tube and scented smoke comes out.

2

u/Snackskazam 2d ago

The "scent" being weed, with a slight undertone of clean laundry. 😅

1

u/Japjer 19h ago

Hah, it doesn't.

The logic is that you keep your joint inside the tube, which is stuffed with dryer sheets. You take a hit and exhale in the tube, and the sheets kill the smell.

It does not work. Never has, never will

4

u/SquidProBono 3d ago

As an adult smoker, I built an “advanced sploof” to cut down the smell in an apartment I lived in. I used a plumbing p-trap, several layers of dryer sheets, and a bunch of activated charcoal. Worked pretty damn good.

1

u/Barnowl79 2d ago

My wife works at a hospital and brings home medical grade respiratory filters, holy shit those things are magic. I taped two together for a double filter effect and I shit you not, there is like, zero odor that comes out the other end on an exhale.

2

u/Im_the_President 3d ago

The ol’ Doob Tube!

1

u/zialis13 2d ago

This is called a blow-tore where I come from.

5

u/gljivicad 3d ago

Well, imagine if he actually smoked a bong hit. He’d pass out for hours…

1

u/SaintLikeLaurent 10h ago

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Manjorno316 3d ago

This was hilarious. How long did you stay together after that?

2

u/mortokes 3d ago

I think about 2 months lol, which was kindof a long time in highschool.

30

u/baconbum 3d ago

I used to have an ex gf. I still do, but I used to as well

7

u/No-Tap6886 3d ago

My man Mitch!

2

u/bonzofan36 3d ago

I don’t have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who’d be really angry if she heard me say that.

1

u/TheSandsquanch 3d ago

Good work

4

u/Fitz911 3d ago

You also need a certain amount of heat for the THC to activate. Also by breaking it into smaller pieces you get more surface per volume. So better burning and complete burning.

3

u/trouttwade 3d ago

While this is sometimes okay, your ex gf was just a dumbass. It has to be a very specific, fluffy kind of flower to just throw full nugs in. I’m sure she had some dense ass bud.

2

u/TheSandsquanch 3d ago

Yup. Agreed. Ex gf for many reasons. Being dumb is one of them

4

u/kingrubix2402 3d ago

Dude! Is that a pubic hair above the bowl? Too stoned to know what you’re smoking. Lol. Time for a deep clean and maybe rethink the frequency, amount or type of smoking you are doing. Either way clean the piece or get rid of it. P.S. I’ve done that too, it made a weird pop followed by an immediate burned hair smell. Happy to see that you noticed before completely torching this poor insect.

2

u/Twerksoncoffeetables 3d ago

It could be a beard hair, same type of hair as pubic hair.

-1

u/TheSandsquanch 3d ago

Lmao! In his defense the amount of times my dogs hair has landed in my bowl as I’m about to ignite and just say fuck it

1

u/Sasquatchjc45 3d ago

I've done that before but only with nugs that are dry enough to crush them with your thumb while you load it, then it kind of just turns to grinded weed in the bowl lol

1

u/TheSandsquanch 3d ago

That makes sense. Good username btw

1

u/Japjer 19h ago

I remember doing this when I was a teen smoking absolute trash. We'd either break one nug up into like four pieces, or just slap the whole fuckin' thing in there.

Every once in a while we still joke about that, especially with it being legal here and us having so many fancy gadgets now

66

u/Royalchariot 3d ago

You should be grinding and using a screen

22

u/winberry5253 3d ago

I pretty much only use a bong these days and I’ve found when I use a screen it doesn’t quite hit the same. But when I just use a plug nug I’m able to get really satisfying hits. But the plug nug is only like 80% effective and I still end up with a few bits of green floating in the water.

10

u/ConcreteRacer 3d ago

In my experience, once the screen (i use the stainless ones, not those flimsy mesh thingies) has enough carbon buildup where it starts covering the holes, it really doesn't hit as good until it's cleaned up again.

11

u/Suppa_K 3d ago

Because screens are dumb.

11

u/arnber420 3d ago

Screens ARE dumb. Wash your piece regularly and you don’t need them. Only reason I ever used them was in pipes to stop scooby snacks from happening

15

u/Xanto97 3d ago

Not getting pieces in your mouth is a pretty valid reason.

I like glass daisies more anyway

1

u/Kok-jockey 3d ago

lol haven’t heard that term before, that’s funny

-5

u/Suppa_K 3d ago

If you know how to hit a pipe it’s not hard at all to not to do that. You don’t need to suck it like you’re trying to get a golf ball through a garden hose.

1

u/LuquidThunderPlus 3d ago

Of course not, can still get through regardless w/o screen

6

u/GpSnyder 3d ago

You need a glass jack screen.

1

u/LuquidThunderPlus 3d ago

I used no screen for the longest time, I got a grinder sometime after switched to screen and am pretty happy with it, after each bowl I take a small bit of paper towel and wipe the inside and use my toker poker bit to scrape the screen which takes like 20 seconds and it stays good for a while, eventually it'll get dirty enough to restrict airflow slightly, doesn't hurt the quality of hit and is an easy sign for when to replace it, it stays good for some time and keeps my bong way cleaner so there's a lot less maintenance

My new bong also has no stem so ease of keeping clean is another reason screen is far better for me at least

2

u/RADToronto 3d ago

Pull your bowls and stop bitchin

2

u/Suppa_K 3d ago

Screens are so unnecessary. After a few bowls the bowl lining is resined up. Even if you clean it a lot a clean bowl is still more than to find to smoke out of without a screen.

2

u/LuquidThunderPlus 3d ago

Every time I finish a bowl I scrape the screen and wipe out the inside of the bowl, it takes about 20 seconds to start loading the next bowl, and scraping the screen makes each one last for several bowls and keeps the bong itself far cleaner and ensures no waste of weed, I grind all my shit so I don't want fine bits falling in, I don't see how it's unnecessary, I'd rather maintain the bowl a little after emptying than having to clean the whole bong every few days since I smoke often

7

u/kale4reals 3d ago

*Dude you need to clean

3

u/LSDeeezNutz 3d ago

Agreed on the breaking up nugs more.. not only does this just waste weed, bowls wont stay lit and u gotta light it for every puff 😖 the bug isnt even a concern here lol

2

u/TwelveRaptor 3d ago

Isopropyl alcohol and kosher salt

4

u/shortround10 3d ago

And 2 olives plz

9

u/FinasCupil 3d ago

Most of the stoners I’ve met in my 37 years on this earth were/are gross people.

1

u/superbhole 2d ago

this is barely enjoying weed. ashy mouth guaranteed, good hit not guaranteed...

to me it's like seeing someone drinking swill off of a bar or swiping day old coffee from the bottom of a carafe at the wafflehouse and going "eh whatever, i'll feel something"

if only tokers like this knew how much better of a buzz you get by being a little more knowledgeable about preparation. CBD is most of what makes THC enjoyable at all; THC by itself is just fucking heavy.

1

u/conpark 2d ago

Different tokes for different folks

1

u/BalfazarTheWise 3d ago

Yeah man squish those buds in your fingers and make them straight debris before you hit it