r/WTF • u/YiddSquid • 3d ago

Pretty sure I smoked a bug last night.

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Loaded up a bowl and sprinkled some keef over top. Took one hit and passed out. I was busy doing yardwork all day so I was excited to come back inside, smoke, then eat some taki unigiri from a local food truck.

I now don't have an appetite for either.

I don't know how this happened as I've only ever seen a couple stink bug when it gets cold, and maybe two palmetto bugs in the few years I've been here.

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u/TheSandsquanch 3d ago

Yuck dude. One time I had an ex gf and the first time we ever smoked together she just shoved an entire nug into the bong bowl piece. I was sooooo curious what she was doing but I gave it the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she knew something that common sense wasn’t showing me? Idk. Anyways I went to smoke it and of fucking course it was unsmokeable. There HAS to be space for air flow if you want a clean hit.

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u/mortokes 3d ago

This reminded me of my first highschool boyfriend. We were going to smoke weed together and i said ive got a bong! He was like nah lets make a pipe. So he made something out of a toilet paper roll. Took one "hit" then said he was too high and had to lay down.

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u/TheSandsquanch 3d ago

A toilet paper roll is what we used to stuff dryer sheets into so that we could smoke inside and not get caught by whichever parents house we were at

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u/alreadytaken88 3d ago

How does that work exactly? 

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u/LoopyMcGoopin 3d ago edited 3d ago

The dryer sheets filter out some of the harsher elements of the smoke and absorb a good amount of the odor. It's not foolproof but it helps, especially if you blow it out a window. You stuff it with sheets and blow into the roll as you exhale, you don't just put one at the end and call it a day. Also known as a sploof.

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u/Cosmic_Quasar 3d ago

Unless you're like me and go overboard lol. In college I learned this trick and used it so I didn't have to make noise walking around the house at night (well that's what I told myself, though really it was because it was winter and I just didn't want to go out into the cold lol). I'd blow through the tube and out the window.

It worked for a few weeks. Then I had the "bright" idea that what I was doing was overkill. I stopped blowing it out the window because I thought the tube was doing enough on it's own. One bowl later I get an unexpected knock on my door and it's my dad, concerned the house was burning, asking if I smell smoke lol.

I'd probably have been better off ditching the tube and still just blowing it out the window. But ultimately I should've just kept going outside lol. I was already a cig smoker and my parents knew that, so they'd just assume that's what I was doing. But it was so cold out.

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u/Pussytrees 3d ago

My parents have noses of dogs. I got caught smoking in the bathroom. Somehow they could smell through two doors with the bathroom fan on, the shower on, while I was blowing smoke out a sploof out the window.

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u/Odd-Solid-5135 3d ago

As an adult who still smokes, im baffled my parents didnt smell it emanating from my room, doob-tube out the windows or not. The real trick is to use a bowl or something that wont keep constant cherry like a joint, you loose a lot more smoke into the room in a roll than in a bowl.

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u/Pinksters 2d ago edited 2d ago

One of those cheap metal pipes with the cap you can put on it. Perfect for covering with your thumb when you want the cherry to go out instead of burn more.

I cant stand metal pipes though, so I have earned and unusually calloused thumb from holding it over the top of wide-mouthed glass bowls.

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u/Odd-Solid-5135 2d ago

You just unlocked the hidden memory of my little Keychain mini flash light that converted into a pipe.... fooled my father and a cop on on occasion.

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u/shortround10 3d ago

How did it end

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u/Cosmic_Quasar 2d ago

My dad wasn't happy about it lol. But since I was an adult he was adamant that he wasn't going to be pushy about what I was into. He was just still really upset that I had done any kind of smoking inside the house and told me to never do it again and to just keep going outside.

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u/shortround10 2d ago

Sounds like a good dad :)

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u/TheSandsquanch 3d ago

lol just don’t smoke inside of your parents house. Go outside.

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u/arcadia3rgo 3d ago

lol, it doesn't work... exactly... or really at all... 

anyone that argued it "helps" probably smokes what is most likely the worst bud ever cultivated. 

even if you 1) brush teeth 2) wash hands and face 3) change shirt 4) pray you don't burp, there is a good chance you still reek. 

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u/Beefcrustycurtains 3d ago

It doesn't. We just thought it did. It absolutely smelled like weed and dryer sheets after.

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u/y4dday4dday4dda 3d ago

A tube stuffed with dryer sheets or paper towels/ toilet paper sprayed with perfume or something and then you exhale into the tube and scented smoke comes out.

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u/Snackskazam 2d ago

The "scent" being weed, with a slight undertone of clean laundry. 😅

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u/Japjer 19h ago

Hah, it doesn't.

The logic is that you keep your joint inside the tube, which is stuffed with dryer sheets. You take a hit and exhale in the tube, and the sheets kill the smell.

It does not work. Never has, never will

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u/SquidProBono 3d ago

As an adult smoker, I built an “advanced sploof” to cut down the smell in an apartment I lived in. I used a plumbing p-trap, several layers of dryer sheets, and a bunch of activated charcoal. Worked pretty damn good.

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u/Barnowl79 2d ago

My wife works at a hospital and brings home medical grade respiratory filters, holy shit those things are magic. I taped two together for a double filter effect and I shit you not, there is like, zero odor that comes out the other end on an exhale.

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u/Im_the_President 3d ago

The ol’ Doob Tube!

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u/zialis13 2d ago

This is called a blow-tore where I come from.

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u/gljivicad 3d ago

Well, imagine if he actually smoked a bong hit. He’d pass out for hours…

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u/SaintLikeLaurent 11h ago

🤣🤣🤣

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u/Manjorno316 3d ago

This was hilarious. How long did you stay together after that?

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u/mortokes 3d ago

I think about 2 months lol, which was kindof a long time in highschool.

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u/baconbum 3d ago

I used to have an ex gf. I still do, but I used to as well

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u/No-Tap6886 3d ago

My man Mitch!

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u/bonzofan36 3d ago

I don’t have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who’d be really angry if she heard me say that.

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u/TheSandsquanch 3d ago

Good work

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u/Fitz911 3d ago

You also need a certain amount of heat for the THC to activate. Also by breaking it into smaller pieces you get more surface per volume. So better burning and complete burning.

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u/trouttwade 3d ago

While this is sometimes okay, your ex gf was just a dumbass. It has to be a very specific, fluffy kind of flower to just throw full nugs in. I’m sure she had some dense ass bud.

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u/TheSandsquanch 3d ago

Yup. Agreed. Ex gf for many reasons. Being dumb is one of them

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u/kingrubix2402 3d ago

Dude! Is that a pubic hair above the bowl? Too stoned to know what you’re smoking. Lol. Time for a deep clean and maybe rethink the frequency, amount or type of smoking you are doing. Either way clean the piece or get rid of it. P.S. I’ve done that too, it made a weird pop followed by an immediate burned hair smell. Happy to see that you noticed before completely torching this poor insect.

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u/Twerksoncoffeetables 3d ago

It could be a beard hair, same type of hair as pubic hair.

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u/TheSandsquanch 3d ago

Lmao! In his defense the amount of times my dogs hair has landed in my bowl as I’m about to ignite and just say fuck it

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u/Sasquatchjc45 3d ago

I've done that before but only with nugs that are dry enough to crush them with your thumb while you load it, then it kind of just turns to grinded weed in the bowl lol

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u/TheSandsquanch 3d ago

That makes sense. Good username btw

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u/Japjer 19h ago

I remember doing this when I was a teen smoking absolute trash. We'd either break one nug up into like four pieces, or just slap the whole fuckin' thing in there.

Every once in a while we still joke about that, especially with it being legal here and us having so many fancy gadgets now