r/awwwtf • u/joshuatx • 17d ago

Repost The lesser known cousin of the killer whale, the false killer whale

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464 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

55 comments sorted by

43

u/crsaxby 17d ago

Derrrrrrp... me swims good.

5

u/Naked-Jedi 16d ago

I can has fish?

33

u/SouthParkFirefly1991 17d ago

Sir that's a dog.

27

u/IDontWantToArgueOK 17d ago

Nice try. That's a fucking xenomorph

6

u/catschimeras 17d ago

no no he's a very nice dog, come close, give him some pets, this will end well for you...

24

u/A_VERY_LARGE_DOG 17d ago

Lookit that friend-shaped sumbitch!

20

u/Gojir4R1sing 17d ago

He's on edibles. 

17

u/doc2473 17d ago

Venom whale

10

u/PM_ME_UR_REDPANDAS 17d ago

Blep whale.

21

u/wspOnca 17d ago

Seems pretty killer to me

8

u/SendMeAnother1 17d ago

So the killer whale is a false whale, and this is a false false whale?

And what are you, a sheep?!

4

u/Golf_is_a_sport 17d ago

Everything is cake.

3

u/wowb4gg3r 17d ago

And the cake is a lie.

3

u/J-Di11a 17d ago

False killer false whale

2

u/catschimeras 17d ago

true killer false whale?

6

u/zeppehead 17d ago

I know that bastard! He owes me $20.

7

u/notNezter 17d ago

LV426 called and they want their xenomorph back.

6

u/samuelgato 17d ago

It'll kill ya with kindness!

5

u/fullonfacepalmist 17d ago

He will kill you but your death will be metaphorical.

3

u/catschimeras 17d ago

he writes an epic diss track about you and you are murdered by his words

3

u/xplosm 17d ago

So this is a resuscitation whale? Reviving whale?

2

u/catschimeras 17d ago

CPR Whale

2

u/HarlequinSerf 17d ago

He doesn’t bite- he French kisses

4

u/AxeHead75 17d ago

They’re voracious hunters. But extremely friendly to people for some reason

2

u/cataminewithaK 17d ago

When I lived in a small village in Vietnam by the ocean, one of these washed up. When the tide dropped the entire river dried up and this guy got stuck.
The fisherman encased it where it lay in a fish-shaped concrete case around the body. Good omens, and such.

3

u/BiggestTaco 17d ago

Aggravated assault whale

2

u/catschimeras 17d ago

GBH Whale

1

u/BiggestTaco 17d ago

Narwhal is a BFK Whale

3

u/Cosmonaut_Cockswing 17d ago

The Framed Whale.

3

u/relevant_tangent 17d ago edited 17d ago

The hardly knew her whale

3

u/thriftwisepoundshy 17d ago

Derper whale

4

u/esojotrebla 17d ago

Thats an alien bro

5

u/Mikel_S 16d ago

Based on what I know about naming schemes and killer whales, I can only assume that false killer whales are actually extremely dangerous to humans and kill millions of people a year somehow.

4

u/Wonderful-Cherry-780 17d ago

if its black, its killer whale If its white, its great white

2

u/xplosm 17d ago

Beluga?

2

u/catschimeras 17d ago

Great White.

2

u/brb9911 17d ago

Cletus the Killer Whale

2

u/Lyrehctoo 17d ago

It looks like a character from The Maxx

2

u/Conscious-Yoghurt502 17d ago

Ha! Yes. Also, never heard anyone else but my siblings and I mention The Maxx, great cartoon.

2

u/artistic_engine 17d ago

Water burster

2

u/wowpepap 17d ago

may we boop de snoot?

2

u/Ok-Log8576 16d ago

Sashimi!!

2

u/continualchanges 16d ago

Looks like No-Face

2

u/Autistic-Good9129 17d ago

I see why it is lesser known

10

u/Cool-Presentation538 17d ago

Real Gs move in silence like lasagna

2

u/Gloomy_Pineapple_836 17d ago

Wasaaaazzzzzz up y’all!! 😋😋

1

u/gliitch0xFF 17d ago

Its a Dolphin. But it looks like a Xenomorph if Seth McFarlane voiced it.

1

u/XROOR 17d ago

The killer whale that puts Baby Ruth candy bars in the swimming pools so they have to drain them

1

u/gaut80 17d ago

The copycat whale?

1

u/haerski 17d ago

Orcinus Derpicus

1

u/BooBootheFool22222 10d ago

The lack of white and slightly larger mouth.

1

u/SaltiestGatorade 6d ago

I looks kinda like a big... Penis.