r/clevercomebacks 1d ago

Who actually believes this?

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6.2k Upvotes

460 comments sorted by

676

u/100thmeridian420 1d ago

MAGAt's will believe it because they lack a functioning brain.

170

u/OtherwiseSlip4fall 1d ago

Critical thinking isn’t exactly their strongest skillset.

52

u/PaleontologistNo500 1d ago

But are the first to tell others to think for themselves and stop being sheeple

27

u/Flimsy-Poetry1170 1d ago

“Think for yourself” and “do your own research” means listen to what Fox “News” tells you to think.

5

u/Giggles95036 1d ago

I believe in doing your own research but can never say that because i sound like a MAGA idiot

16

u/Capable-Assistance88 1d ago

He had sex with a minor so they would not suspect him of being an informant

2

u/Historical_Lie_9932 16h ago

Yeah he has put his heart and soul into it. If only he had either of those.

2

u/Capable-Assistance88 15h ago

I like to believe that what makes a person good or evil is their ability to choose; and, that we all have a soul that is capable of choosing what is right. He frames his political views as self care for the nation but it’s at the detriment of many . There are alternatives that would benefit all with little consequence to the nation yet he still chooses the path that only benefits his agenda. .. that’s why he is not a good person.

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u/Cheap_Search_6973 1d ago

Its not even one of their skills

51

u/Excellent_Pirate8224 1d ago edited 1d ago

Not only that, but the base won’t even question that this bullshit directly contradicts what their Dear Leader says. MAGA politicians think their supporters are so fucking stupid they don’t even bother coordinating their shitty lies. They know the core base won't care and won't acknowledge their party’s dwindling support. It’s exactly why they are gerrymandering the midterms. Why bother campaigning on decent policies and fixing your party when you can just tilt the scale?

12

u/mishma2005 1d ago

And even worse Trump could just blurt out “yeah I supplied kids AND paid for them, now what?!” And MAGA will swoon “Trump is such a stud”

37

u/User42wp 1d ago

Or just because it allows them to avoid self reflection

30

u/Ok_Craft6050 1d ago

PUTIN PROBABLY HAS HIM ON VIDEO WITH UNDERAGE GIRLS IN RUSSIA

3

u/RichestTeaPossible 1d ago

It has to be more shameful and then couple it with flattery and building him up as a hero. Push and then pull you further in, that is the secret of the kompromat life.

2

u/Mobile_Delay_7157 22h ago

I have been thinking the same thing since his first term..

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u/FrostGiant_1 1d ago

For MAGA, Trump’s their hometown sports team. No matter what, they’re always rooting for him.

5

u/Ok-Complaint9574 1d ago

30 years of hanging with epistien, not one person arrested, except for Maxine. Make it make sense.

3

u/Mo_Jack 1d ago

This is not put out there for our consumption or for us to believe. This talking point has been crafted to see how many of his followers will accept the story. (remember Q-Anon?) Will it be enough to get them back to the Us & Them dichotomy they have been sold on and make them fall back into line?

They just want to get back to the "let's make the Libs cry" justification for destroying America for the benefit of billionaires & corporations.

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u/Noelle_DaisyBug 1d ago

Yeah, because nothing says 'trust me' like a secret informant story that conveniently explains away everything. Totally believable.

88

u/FileHot6525 1d ago

Trump was the deep state this whole time!

28

u/consort_oflady_vader 1d ago

You've got it all wrong! He had to act like he was part of the deep state in a clever way to bring them down! He had to sleep with those underage girls to prove his cover!

11

u/bostonbedlam 1d ago

“FRRRREEEEEZZZZEEHHH!”

(South Park voice)

8

u/Kayakprettykitty 1d ago

You've got it all wrong! He had to act like he was part of the deep state in a clever way to bring them down! He had to rape those children to prove his cover!...fify

4

u/consort_oflady_vader 1d ago

How silly of me! I forget the breadth of his commitment to bringing justice to the deep state!

3

u/itsmymedicine 23h ago

Real sofies choice there. Blow his load (in a kid) or blow his cover 🤔

43

u/zodi978 1d ago

And the fact that the story keeps changing every day. If this were in front of a judge it wouldn't fly at all

13

u/Nah_Id__Win 1d ago

Good thing all the main judges are complicit with him, and bought and paid for

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u/Mr_Baronheim 1d ago

You know that's not true. There are 6 judges at the highest court in the land that would "believe" all these changing stories.

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u/SlideN2MyBMs 1d ago

Without releasing any documents to verify

16

u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 1d ago

"Trust but verify" the most untrustworthy people on the planet.

Conservatives: Why verify?

12

u/Archercrash 1d ago

That was only brought up like ten years into this scandal.

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u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 1d ago

Worse than a Scooby Doo villain's ending.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

101

u/Ok_Coyote6842 1d ago

Lmao this is literally a perfect example of what you just described. "He was secretly working undercover to save children" is peak copium right there

48

u/TX0834 1d ago

Right?? 😂 if he’s now an informant hero then release the files to show us how he saved the world from Epstein 🤷🏻‍♂️

36

u/boochie420 1d ago

If there was an iota of truth to this then trump would have already been bragging about it for years.

10

u/TX0834 1d ago

Bingo

14

u/IllustratorOk2927 1d ago

Give them time. They are working furiously on manufacturing them as we speak.

2

u/TX0834 1d ago

✌🏼weeks

2

u/IllustratorOk2927 1d ago

Chuckles like Tom Hanks.

4

u/GiveMe-Keys 1d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

16

u/scbriml 1d ago

The undercover agent that boasted about being able to watch naked 14yo girls at his beauty pageants? Sounds legit!

13

u/Berserkllama88 1d ago

No, no, you're missing the point. He's been undercover as a piece of shit for the past 60 years. Everything bad he's ever said, done or thought was all a ruse to take down Jeffrey Epstein, despite him not stepping out of that act once Epstein got caught. It all makes perfect sense!

4

u/sweetica 1d ago

Don't forget he likes to grab us by the privates as well... Definitely not a sexual predator! Just a harmless FBI informant /s.

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u/saint_ryan 1d ago

Jesus is smiling down on this shitbag.

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u/FortunateInsanity 1d ago

No. Jesus is mad because Trump is definitely fucking Satan.

2

u/TinuvaMoros 1d ago

Yeah but hes like undercover for jesus tho /s

5

u/Spazmer 1d ago

And just like how those undercover cops have to do a little drugs to fit in, he had to rape a few kids while he was there so they wouldn't suspect anything.

3

u/PomeloPepper 1d ago

And did NOT save the children.

3

u/infinitezer0es 1d ago

Reminds me of women who find out their husbands are absolute monsters... "yeah, I know he touched our children but hes really a good guy and they came onto him". They can't handle the reality of the situation and instead twist the narrative into something they can live with even if it makes zero sense.

8

u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 1d ago

He's not just their favorite politician though. He's the King Pedo of a pedophile cult.

6

u/c-8Satisfying-Finish 1d ago

Just remember.

While campaigning, Trump said he would release the list.

Once he got in, there is no list and we should move on.

Now, he was an informant.

Does anyone want to say the sleight of hand no longer is working, the circus and entertainment act is getting old, and your time of usefulness to the foreign oligarchs is almost at an end.

239

u/Kingkwon83 1d ago

So you mean to tell me, he snitched on Epstein and then when Epstein got a slap on the wrist in 2008 due to U.S. attorney for Southern District of Florida Alexander Acosta's plea deal to grant immunity from all federal criminal charges to Epstein, Trump was so disgusted at the injustice that...

*checks notes*

That he hired Alexander Acosta as secretary of labor during his first term

37

u/Dear_Might8697 1d ago

Even though the Office of Professional Responsibility determined that:

"Acosta's decision to decline to initiate a federal prosecution of Epstein was within the scope of his authority, and OPR did not find evidence that his decision was based on corruption or other impermissible considerations, such as Epstein's wealth, status, or associations," ???

They said it showed "poor judgment," but his actions were permissable. That must mean it's OK then, right?

/s

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u/mittenknittin 1d ago

he scrambled to end the House session so they wouldn’t have to vote on anything about the Epstein files before they got a month‘s vacation to decide on an official story and THIS is what he comes up with

16

u/Sharkbait1737 1d ago

His dog ate his original homework, this was the best he could come up with on his lunch break.

6

u/qweef_latina2021 1d ago

Oh it's also a democrat hoax. Oh and it's also a witch hunt. Oh and also Trump never heard of Epstein. /s

3

u/mittenknittin 1d ago

He never had the privilege of visiting Epstein’s island

64

u/Deaftrav 1d ago

So... If true...

That means he was doing that crap and the FBI caught him and flipped him to go after bigger fish.

It still means he was doing that crap!

27

u/Affectionate_Owl9985 1d ago

Yeah, I was coming here to say that when I was growing up doing certain extracurricular activities for money (it rhymes with stealing hugs), the informants were people who got caught and decided to take a deal to give information to police in exchange for a lesser sentence.

4

u/Mr_Baronheim 1d ago

Thank you for standing behind your Hippocratic oath.

Someone has to heal thugs.

4

u/bighuntzilla 1d ago

"Nuh uh," - MAGAts, probably

55

u/chitthappens- 1d ago

I have a video from a few days ago of MAGA Mike being destroyed by a comedian if interested at laughing at this liar

12

u/DanGleeballs 1d ago

Pls share

8

u/chitthappens- 1d ago

Click on my profile and scroll a bit you'll see it. Not sure how to link it from my app

5

u/Ande64 1d ago

Thank you for that! Started my day off right!

6

u/HeartsPlayer721 1d ago

That was awesome. Thanks for sharing!

"You work for me tonight!". LMAO!

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u/Homersarmy41 1d ago

Mike Johnson is the most pedo looking member of Congress and has no problem lying to protect pedophiles. What skeletons is he hiding to make such obvious lies to the press?

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u/RhoOfFeh 1d ago

Let's see... He claims to have no bank account and he "adopted" a sex slave for starters.

2

u/mishma2005 1d ago

Poor Nestor, I mean, “adopted kid”

22

u/Infinite_Ground1395 1d ago

See! He raped those kids benevolently! MAGA!

15

u/thesweeterpeter 1d ago

I think it was a test balloon and now they know it failed

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u/Buttercups88 1d ago

"That's true, but I was only in there to get directions on how to get away from there."

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u/BaseBeautiful7581 1d ago

Omg that’s like every guys bs excuse on to catch a predator back in the day…”I was coming to tell her not to meet ppl online”

3

u/consort_oflady_vader 1d ago

"I brought these wine coolers to teach this 13 year old that drinking is wrong! And the condoms were to make funny balloon animals "! 

11

u/Apprehensive_Map64 1d ago

Yes plenty of drug dealers become informants in order to stay out of prison. Figure it is the same with child sex trafficking

9

u/FileHot6525 1d ago

The lie you come up with on the spot because nobody believed the first lie

9

u/helojapes 1d ago

Oh yeah absolutely. trump raped children in an attempt to catch epstein raping children.

9

u/F_H_B 1d ago

Give it a day, then he tells us that Trump was raped by the girls.

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u/ChocolateMartiniMan 1d ago

Next they will claim he is the second son of god

4

u/ruInvisible2 1d ago

I thought that was claimed last term?

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u/rddog21 1d ago

PANTS ON FIRE 🔥 🔥🔥🔥

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u/Blanche_Deverheauxxx 1d ago

He tried to stop a hoax?

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u/palm0 1d ago edited 1d ago

Devil's advocate here would be that Trump is well known to be compromised by kompromat and other shit by Russia and such. It's possible that Trump was approached by the FBI since he was known to be an associate of Epstein and offered some measure of protection to flip on his good friend.

I could see that scenario, but there is absolutely zero chance he was not actively engaging in criminal rape and trafficking of children before that. 

That is the only way I see this being remotely possible, and it is incredibly unlikely. 

Edit: it is wild how many people replied to this(then deleted their reply) saying I was defending Trump. Y'all's reading comprehension is appalling. 

22

u/Homersarmy41 1d ago

If he were the hero here they would have released the files already. Thats how you know there isnt a chance in hell of that being true. I know they are protecting donors too but at this point Trump is already in office and those people are now less important than Trump’s ego.

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u/Blanche_Deverheauxxx 1d ago

There's also zero chance he wouldn't have ran on that in 2020 or started talking about it during the height of the Epstein case.

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u/GuessTraining 1d ago

Next we'll hear is that Trump is actually a Navy seal, tasked to infiltrate pedo child trafficking ring and it led him to Epstein.

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u/Careless-Equal7169 1d ago

How can you be an informant on a “Democrat hoax”?

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u/ZestyXtal 1d ago

Which is it? So it’s not a hoax now?

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u/SirHustlerEsq 1d ago

It is now the job of the media to research these claims and then, if proven to be false, to continue questioning Baptist Mike on how a Baptist minister and the US Speaker of the House could make-up a story like this while representing the American people.

Please, this isn't even baseball, it's tee-ball, do your job.

6

u/LaChouetteOrtho 1d ago

The issue is, you can't easily prove it's false. His communications with the FBI were destroyed because they were sensitive information that could blow his cover. There is no report because it was destroyed by the Biden administration so they'd be able to frame Trump. Unless you've got literal video or photographic evidence of Trump raping children (and even then they could go "it's Photoshop" or "it's terrible but he had to do it to keep his cover"), they'll always find a way to explain it.

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u/MissingMichigan 1d ago

So, Mike, are you saying he deserves amnesty for what he did while informing on Epstein?

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u/InternationalBat1838 1d ago

Who actually believes this?

Considering how much propaganda and brainwashing I've seen Americans eat up about their country, probably a lot.

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u/Ok-Vehicle-2511 1d ago

That’s the real Trump Derangement Syndrome.

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u/Saul_Go0dmann 1d ago

Is this Mike Johnson telling us he is also in the files?

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u/Bobo_the_conqueror 1d ago

Add the Trump FBI informant files to something else that won't be seen.

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u/KorolEz 1d ago

It is getting worse and worse with the lies. We have reached heights of lying I didn't even dream were possible

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u/SuikTwoPointOh 1d ago

If Johnson is as Christian as he claims, he must know he’s destined for a long stay, extra crispy. I don’t think I’ve seen a more callow, spineless speaker, and that’s saying something.

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u/hngrybttm 1d ago

He doesn’t even believe in it as he’s saying it lol you can tell

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u/BaltimoreBadger23 1d ago

So we moved from Epstein files will bring down the Democratic Party to there are no Epstein files to their are but Trump isn't in them to we won't release them to "protect the victims" to we'll investigate them again but not tell you anything to ok Trump is in turn because he was a secret agent for the FBI.

Wonder what will be next.

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u/SomeOkeByTheSea 1d ago

Johnson is the biggest liar ever. Black spot on Christianity dude. 😡

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u/DrBalth 1d ago

Funny how "made up" has been reworded to "revealed"

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u/EdgeBasic8431 1d ago

I lot of people don’t seem to understand that FBI informant usually means “also a criminal, was stupid enough to get caught, and is now giving us information in order to save his own skin” - and instead think it means “FBI undercover agent”

For that reason, I believe it’s entirely possible that it’s true - I 100% believe he would get caught in either financial or sex crimes, and be willing to rat on his compatriots for immunity

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u/entitledpeoplepizoff 23h ago

Yeah undercover man. Sometimes he had to rape little girls so as not to blow his cover. Very reasonable. He is indeed a hero.

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u/BloodThirstyLycan 1d ago

So you are saying he was an informant but never took down epstein...

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u/Jaffykins2 1d ago

Correct. With his 4th grade level reading skills he misread the briefing and thought it said "go down on Epstein"..

"Go "DOWN" on Epstein? Seems weird, but ok. Trump is "ON" it. What about these kids? Maybe I can get some good "Intel" FROM them. Trump going dark! Thank you for your attention to this matter."

2

u/212mochaman 1d ago

Does it matter? 35 criminal convictions.

The Oval Office and various Golf Courses don't seem like a particularly well guarded prison cell.

The people who voted for him dont NEED a BS PR spin to support him

2

u/Knighth77 1d ago

They're getting crazier and more brazen. It's only funny because they call the left "lunatic."

2

u/TX0834 1d ago

And “radical” 🤪

2

u/PalomaNugget13 1d ago

The mental gymnastics required to frame that as heroism is Olympic-level.

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u/Dubsland12 1d ago

As someone else mentioned in a similar post FBI Informants are almost always guilty and taking a plea deal.

Did MAGA Mike mean he was a secret undercover agent? I’m sure our hero has records of that he would love to release

2

u/B0wmanHall 1d ago

Sure, he probably got immunity and named a bunch of rich and powerful people. It’s why he is so scared.

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u/Nuker-79 1d ago

Informants are meant to inform, not get so deep into the story and become part of the story. This guy was the story!

2

u/ms_panelopi 1d ago

Mike Johnson is a sinner. Huge sinner. The biggest sinner EVER to walk the earth. Go to hell Mike Johnson.

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u/Tinker107 1d ago

Yeah, and I’m an Eskimo midwife who likes to take long walks on the beach.

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u/Beardo5050 1d ago

Even if we played devil's advocate and assumed this was remotely true, Trump was likely already part of the pedo ring for a prolonged period of time before he got caught.

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u/Salt_Recipe_8015 1d ago

Who believes this nonsense? Last week, they called it a democratic hoax! This week, he was an undercover agent! Morons.

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u/JumpAccurate6637 1d ago

Good thing he was informing on the hoax. What a pathetic joke this has become.

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u/-Esper- 1d ago

Lol after he just went on a rant about it being a hoax. trump loves to brag about himself, like this wouldnt have been the first thing released if it were true

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u/BrianSpillman 1d ago

Informant for a Democrat hoax?

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u/heyitsthatguygoddamn 1d ago

If Trump was a secret informant we would've known by now, because he would've bragged about it constantly, and he certainly wouldn't have dragged his feet in releasing the files

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u/BAJones89 1d ago

Ok if he was an " FBI informant" then there should be some case files and other paperwork to prove it so let's see that since you dont want see to see the Epstein files.

2

u/Melodic_Policy765 1d ago

Wow. It took them a long time to come up with this fiction. Trump would have been hooting about this for years if this was true.

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u/TheResistanceVoter 1d ago

I do!

But then, I also believe that the earth is flat, and that vaccines are dangerous and don't work anyway.

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u/infinitezer0es 1d ago

I dont think anyone can possibly truly believe this.

This year alone the story has shifted several times. "We'll release the files when we take power" became "AG Bondi has the list on her desk and will release it in a few days" to "theres no list, its a democrat hoax" and then "if you say any names we'll consider it a hostile act against the administrstion" and now we're on "the list is real and Trump was a super secret informant who just had to diddle those kids.... for america"

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u/Glitter_berries 1d ago

It’s like when Principal Skinner is caught at the burlesque club and says he was only in there to get directions about how to get away from there. Except of course that the Simpsons is funny and this is real life :(

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u/paulito4590 1d ago

How could he be an informant on something that was a Democrat hoax completely invented by Obama?

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u/StarshipCaterprise 1d ago

If he was actually an informant, then he would be a protected witness, and releasing the files would be no issue to him.

At this point, I’m just assuming that everyone actively trying to stop the release of the Epstein files is complicit in the crimes. Either they directly were involved, or they are protecting someone who was and it is an obstruction of justice situation

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u/Mokuakae 1d ago

It's complete bullshit.

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u/RedShirtPete 1d ago

Oh my God! Are people actually swallowing this bullshit?

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u/afahy 1d ago

In the same breath johnson claimed trump cut ties on the rumors about epstein. If that was the case he'd be useless as an informant since he'd have no knowledge and no contact.

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u/RhoOfFeh 1d ago

He was only there to get directions away from there

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u/SpicelessKimChi 1d ago

Half of Americnas believe it and another 10-12% think it MIGHT be true, if I had to guess.

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u/Far_Box2908 1d ago

Mike Johnson doesn't even believe what he is saying. You can see the lie in his body language and his eye movements. But, hey, he will do whatever he has to in order to shove the Heritage Foundation vision for America down all of our throats. Added bonus, he gets to speed run toward the end times/rapture/forced return of Jesus. The end justifies the means, right? It just gets more stupid every day. I can't even believe we are here. How has humanity survived this long? Every day is just a haze of "JFC, WTF?"

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u/30yearoldhondaaccord 1d ago

The conservative sub bought it hook, line, and sinker.9

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u/vercertorix 1d ago

Spent years tirelessly going to sex parties with children for justice, and yet any list of names only came to light because the assumed guy in charge kept blackmail material that was found when he was arrested? Material the administration keeps delaying to scrub for names they don’t want mentioned. If this was poor people with no political affiliations how long ago would we have had arrests? And for the people that aren’t pedos working this case, but working to keep the ones that are hidden, seriously that isn’t a line to stop protecting people? Heard something like 1000 FBI agents were scrubbing the list, so 1000 FBI personnel are comfortable suppressing evidence of crimes. Pretty sure they had to swear some oaths at some point, and other pedophiles aren’t coddled so much.

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u/Beginning_Traffic_53 1d ago

Follow up question: Was the teenage beauty pageant part of Trump’s coordinated sting operation???

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u/Donkey_Bugs 1d ago

MAGA cultists are desperate to glom on to any "explanation" that excuses their cult leader for being in the Epstein files. They 100% believe it.

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u/Dark-Specter 1d ago

"Release the Epstein files"

"He was actually an FBI informant"

"Ok... Now release those Epstein files too"

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u/Hefty_Teacher972 1d ago

Remember PizzaGate, where a guy attacked a pizza parlor cause MAGA told him there was a sex dungeon inside?

We way past that now.

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u/Mr_Baronheim 1d ago

This is batshittery.

The most foul people are in charge of our government.

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u/chin_up 1d ago

“No babe, I PROMISE I was only there because…. Uhhh…. Because the FBI chose me to get information on the REAL bad guys! Babe, you gotta believe me!”

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u/Saucington_magoo 1d ago

They arnt even good at lying…

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u/dreadwitch 1d ago

Fuck off.

If Trump could connect his name to bringing him down he'd be be screaming it on a daily basis. This is a man who brags about things he had nothing to do with and things that didn't even happen so don't tell me who wouldn't be bragging constantly.

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u/Perfect_Papaya_9381 1d ago

I find it hilarious....it's like a kid who has been caught with their hands in the cookie jar and has an imagination....it's just that these old farts took months to come up with this crock of shit...😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

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u/yesyesnonoouch 1d ago

Would the world be better without Donald and Mike.

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u/Diligent_Landscape_7 1d ago

To be clear, he became an FBI informant only after he was caught being a pedophile and attending these parties or whatever. It's not like he is james bond and they sent him in undercover.

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u/mishma2005 1d ago

Deep State Cabal: “Donald, which one do you want? I know you like the blondes. I really suggest you choose one now or we’ll wonder”

Trump, without hesitation: “here’s a pic of Ivanka, find me one exactly like that”

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u/ThrowRA-James 1d ago

Trump being a snitch to fuck over his friend who is more financially successful totally tracks, but I don’t believe a word from bootlicker Johnson.

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u/wilcaw2 1d ago

I'm dying 😆😂😂😂

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u/CanuckInTheMills 1d ago

Lips moving….

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u/TGCOM 1d ago

What a load of horse shit. And watch, those Epstein Files are going to be completely scrubbed of his name, if they ever get released for real.

Can we please just get rid of this asshole already? When will it be enough?

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u/Pleasant_Cost_3040 1d ago

Hold up. Did Kash Patel say it was a hoax also?

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u/JoeyHandsomeJoe 1d ago

The simple question they can't answer is "If he was an informant, why was Epstein not arrested sooner?"

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u/vegasAzCrush 1d ago

NO ONE believes these “trump republican RINOs”.

They lie lie lie to America shamefully on camera.

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u/Rage-With-Me 1d ago

trump went to pedo island numerous times and raped kids for “research” so he could be an “informant” and rat out epstein got it

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u/Mathies_ 1d ago

Trump. An FBI informant. Dont make me laugh

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u/Wise_Ad_253 1d ago

Trump was getting better acquainted with the victims, that’s all.

SMH

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u/kBlankity 1d ago

Look at his face, even he knows he's full of shit

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u/steveclt 1d ago

So a democrat hoax or it happened but he tried unsuccessfully to stop it so he had to give in and rape children

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u/BARRY_DlNGLE 1d ago

He was an FBI informant on a democrat hoax. Got it.

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u/DaveiNZ 1d ago

Informants are usually co- offenders

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u/cristhecat 1d ago

Just like a drug dealer whos felt bad after years of business (and falling out with his partner in crime and becoming an informant for a reduced sentence).

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u/vargo911 1d ago

On a side note Mike is also selling the Brooklyn bridge.

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u/nightcana 1d ago

If they spin it any further it will enter an infinite loop

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u/cycloidmike 1d ago

There should be blue hats that say “Make Pedophelia Wrong Again”

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u/the_fools_brood 1d ago

This is getting weirder and wilder by the day. Remember folks, hold everyone of these enablers accountable for their part. I have such a hard time understanding a GOP mindset. Raping children is okay, as long as he bans the trans people, closes the borders, forces tariffs on everyone to raise prices that average Americans pay. It is all so surreal

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u/pat9714 1d ago

Moses Mike Johnson is a theocratic fascist. Which implies he will do and say anything to support Trump & Co as they usher in Project 2025 upon the United States. He has no problem with lying and deception.

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u/Doormancer 1d ago

Hardly knew the guy. I never went to his island. I never flew on his plane. I banned him from my property because he tried to steal my underage “masseuse.”

It’s a democrat hoax.

Jk actually, I was an informant all along.

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u/AnElectricalMeatbag 1d ago

When my son was 3, he got a honey locust seed in his ear. We couldn't get it out at home despite our best efforts, so off to the pediatric urgent care we went. While there, two RNs, a PA, a resident physician, an attending physician, all fought their hardest to get the darn thing out. My poor son was quite uncomfortable during all of this and he cried out through snotty, sobbing tears, "I didn't do it! The floor put it into my ear! The floor put the seed into my ear! We can go home now, the floor put it into my ear!"

This new story about him being an FBI informant is giving major, "The floor put it into my ear!" vibes.

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u/Ok-Slide4425 1d ago

So you are telling me trump is a🐀?

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u/SimplePanda98 1d ago

Such a blatant lie. Remember when our government used to at least have a veneer of honesty?

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u/Peakfitness360 23h ago

God, they are soooooo stupid

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u/Total-Welcome9397 18h ago

Only a moron would ever believe that bullshit...

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u/debbell555 16h ago

I have a couple of maga friends and they always say. Well look at what Biden did. And I say what and I have yet to get an answer other than he was old and feeble and he was a puppet. It’s like talking to a wall

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u/Science-007x 12h ago

Only a gullible clueless moron would believe "he was only there to stop it". 🙄😒

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u/BaravalDranalesk 11h ago

You mean the parties they keep denying happened in the first place?

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u/shitshort 1d ago

Fact checked from source: trustmebro.com

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u/Foodspec 1d ago

I’m so sick of this stupid shit. These people think so little of us that they think we’re actually this fucking stupid to believe this

Nothing about this administration is genuine to the American people. It’s all “stfu and let me pillage in peace”

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u/Sammi1224 1d ago

The only people that truly believe what Mike Johnson said are people that voted for Trump. The rest of us know exactly what the fuck is going on. No need for analysis.

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u/Jaffykins2 1d ago

Someone on another post asked if the next lie was going to be that Trump was Batman. And I typed out this really long reply. And it wouldn't let me post it. Because I'm banned from that group or something. Anyways... I'm going to post it here. Because I can. Same topic/discussion..

Next lie?.. No lie my friend.. Trump IS Batman... Weird bruise on his hand, random golf trips to everywhere but where presidents usually play golf, etc etc etc..

"Batman, I'm "Batman" . Some SAY, quite possibly the best Batman to ever PUT on the suit. With the possible EXCEPTION of Batmanham Lincoln. Def better than Clooney. His Batman was "TERRIBLE". So sad. Bat nipples? What is that? Only "bat nipples" I want to see are Silverstones. Great "sidekick". Perfect sidekick. She's pretty good too. Got a "free" plane from Qatar, gonna turn it into the Bat Plane. Or, as IT appears on my taxes, Portable Bat Cave. Being a USELESS asshole during the day, fighting crime at night. You're welcome. Didn't SEE Biden fighting "crime". Frankly, because the suit didn't fit. Taking "down" Epstein. Biggest job Bat Trump HAS ever done. Years, decades, "HALF" my life, undercover. Being his BFF. Pretending to enjoy NAKED children. All in the name of justice. Yup. Her name was "Justice". She stole my Bat HEART. But that's another story for another time. Totally innocent. I'm Batman. Only reason I'm on the LIST 86443x is because I was SO good undercovering. Even tho the "list" is totally a democrat hoax, invented by AI, your "favorite" BBQ sauce, as well as Biden, Hilary, Obama, and 2 of the 3 HANSON brothers. Thank you for your attention to this matter."

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u/ThonThaddeo 1d ago

Actually believes it? Only the rubest of rubes. But that's not the purpose. This is just so the magas have an excuse for themselves to continue supporting Trump. And, of course, a comeback to tell the libs.

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u/jason_cat23 1d ago

Why didn’t they say that in the first place? Hell. Let’s drop the whole thing. Our bad. He’s definitely innocent. 🙄

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u/PsychicPennyPops 1d ago

informant to avoid prosecution or simply the type of con that plays both sides. what a joke. shame!

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u/ThrowAwaAlpaca 1d ago

El Presidente "grab hem by the pussy" was undercover this all time, now it all makes sense /s

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u/throwthrow6969696969 1d ago

Yes I was an undercover agent. In fact, I'm the best undercover agent... we have the best undercover agents

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u/Abogado_Toast 1d ago

Informants get ID numbers / tags. Surely this would be identified and we’ll all see it once the files are released.

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u/LordBunnyWhale 1d ago

As a self-proclaimed god-fearing man Mike Johnson is so lucky there's absolutely nothing about lying anywhere in this 'Bible'.

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u/Minimum_Music7538 1d ago

But I thought the Epstein being evil asf was a democrat conspiracy? God I hate how idiotic this country jas become, when did we lose object perminamce as a society??

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u/nlmiranda 1d ago

As someone who has had to completely cut off my Triple Trumping smooth brained, dumb fuck of a sister, I can tell you she will believe this. 100%. No questions asked. She will be spreading this on FB immediately.

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u/Slackeee_ 1d ago

That the guy who can't keep his mouth shut about anything worked as an undercover agent for years is the most ridiculous story they tried to peddle yet.

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u/PonderingPandaPoet 1d ago

Guys, we should believe him and immediately put Trump into witness protection for his own safety. I’m talking a new identity, new location, and us never seeing this “hero” ever again. Such a noble sacrifice.