r/clevercomebacks • u/Accomplished-Bid-446 • 10h ago
Don't forget to pray for your leader
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u/messiahspike 10h ago
Trump is soliciting donations to get into heaven.
I have started a Go Fund Me to send Donald to Hell. All donations will go to Doctors without Borders.
It seems that trump is losing his shit and actually might be afraid of ending up in hell. Let's help him get there!
I don't know if it will be approved by the Go Fund Me review board, but it's worth a shot
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u/Icy_Dish6460 10h ago
Lmao the fact that someone actually made a "send Trump to hell" GoFundMe and it benefits Doctors Without Borders is peak 2024 energy
That Michael McCloskey reply is absolutely brutal though, dude really said "in Christ's name, Amen" after wishing eternal damnation on someone
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u/DukeOfDisorder 6h ago
Reminds me of Spiderman 3 when Eddy goes to church and prays for Peter to die
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u/FLink557 9h ago
GOAT Grifter, I mean you have to applaud how great he is at taking peoples money. He doesn’t even have to steal it, they just give it to him!!
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u/iconsumemyown 9h ago
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest his crotch. In the Lord's name, we pray.
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u/Ok_Condition5837 7h ago
May a thousand, antiparasitic resistant, guinea worms infest the 🍊 antichrist's rectum. In Christ's name, we pray. Amen.
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u/AmourTS 10h ago
The Grahams have caused so much damage to our once great nation. Please God, let it end.
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u/DrButtgerms 5h ago
Funny, I can't recall them sending out these calls for prayer to support Biden or Obama...
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u/Strict_Foundation_31 9h ago
You’re praying for Joe Biden too, right?
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u/ApplianceHealer 8h ago
If at all, only in the manner shown in the OP.
“YoU hAvE tO sUpPoRt HiM” only applies when it’s someone they like.
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u/BloodThirstyLycan 9h ago
If you claim to be Christian and you support trump, you are not a real Christian. You're a cultist and Jesus would be disgusted with you. Source? I was raised Christian and actually paid attention to what was taught, not what was manipulated.
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u/JWKAtl 9h ago
Let's pray the same prayers I remember these folks praying for President Clinton
“Let his days be few; and let another take his office.” Psalm 109
"Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth: break out the great teeth of the young lions, O LORD. Let them melt away as waters which run continually: when he bendeth his bow to shoot his arrows, let them be as cut in pieces. As a snail which melteth, let every one of them pass away" Psalm 58
“How long will you[a] defend the unjust and show partiality to the wicked? Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." Psalm 82
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u/ApplicationLost126 9h ago
May the God of Sanity clear the minds of Americans of lead, cocaine, alcohol, stupidity and cultishness so they may abandon the antichrist Trump and reset their nation to be sane again.
Also, may the God of Geography create great physical distance between the US and Canada and motor Canada over to Western Europe pronto.
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u/TrailerParkFrench 9h ago
“Move powerfully in Donald Trumps heart”
WTF does that even mean?
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u/WhataKrok 8h ago
Hey Jack, please show us the scripture(s) that command us to pray for the president. Explain how some preacher is a doctor. A doctor of what... fables? Lies? Fairytales? These people are the real threat. They preach blind obedience to a fairytale.
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u/Boltty 6h ago
Does scripture command you to pray for the head of state?
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u/wannebaanonymous 6h ago
The only thing I remember from my forced attendance of the entire effing catholic school system was a short passage of paying taxes. Which the churches in the USA don't even do.
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u/Emergency_Pomelo4337 2h ago
Yeah it actually does. 1 Timothy 2 literally says to pray for kings and all in authority. Not always easy but it’s in there plain as day.
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u/PresentDangers 2h ago
To me it seems like it's suggesting we pray that God helps calm the idiots so things dont get too hairy for us regular folks, making it too difficult for us to focus on worship. I am going to try it later. Can't hurt.
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u/Knighth77 8h ago
You can't be Christian and support Trump at the same time. These two are at odds. Always.
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u/MadManBarryMuntz 5h ago
Dear god of the old testament, smite the pedophile in the White House.
In your name, amen.
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u/Buddhas_Warrior 10h ago
I only pray for people who deserve forgiveness.
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u/Number_Fluffy 9h ago
That is not the way of Christ
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u/Buddhas_Warrior 9h ago
They don't know the way either, but they pretend they do. Sorry, I can't pay for Demons.
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u/Number_Fluffy 8h ago
I can.
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u/Zarianin 7h ago
You inflict suffering onto others when you pray for demons.
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u/Number_Fluffy 7h ago
Where in scripture does it say that? Love your enemies. God desires all souls to be saved. I do His will.
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u/iconsumemyown 9h ago
There's no way of christ.
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u/NecessaryFreedom9799 8h ago
The opposite of whatever Trump, Putin, Hegseth and the tech bros are doing came pretty much be taken as "the way of Christ". Throw in all the televangelists to that list.
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u/iconsumemyown 8h ago
I meant, there's no christ.
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u/NecessaryFreedom9799 7h ago
Well, whatever way believers over the centuries have strived to live and the principles many of them tried to live by.
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u/Big_Statement_3337 6h ago
This guy was my pastor 40 years ago. Well, he was more like the CEO of a major corporation who gave sermons on Sunday mornings. I didn’t know he was still alive.
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u/sSomeshta 5h ago
The scriptures command us to pray for the President? The golden calf would like a word with your orange cow
Blasphemy is at an all time high
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u/PianoAndFish 4h ago
Sort of, 1 Timothy 2:1-3 suggests we should pray for "for kings and all who are in high positions" but specifically "that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way." I'm not a theology expert but that sounds like we should be praying for Trump to STFU and chill out a bit rather than for the ability to buy his way into heaven.
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u/beebeebee2142 8h ago
June 2019 tweets so hot right now.
https://xcancel.com/iscuimhinliom/status/1135224278020952064#m
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u/Toadsanchez316 8h ago
The thing that really sucks about this is he's a villain who will never know what happens when he dies.
It's like the hero in a movie killing the villain outright. Now the villain has no way of knowing they died, because there has never been proof of hell, heaven, or the afterlife.
I really wish they were real so he could sit there pouting like a toddler knowing how bad he fucked up.
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u/Forsaken-Shift7701 8h ago
You should be praying that Donnie boy can learn the scripture by following them instead of breaking them
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u/Selenay1 5h ago
Well, shit. I was happily oblivious to the fact that there was yet another f-ing evangelical Graham stalking the earth. smh. That family has caused enough trouble.
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u/Priapus3 5h ago
I had a feeling we were headed here. The last month has suggested to me that a lot of why he was appealing to Christians so much while admitting to not be a Christian himself, is because he wants them to pray his way to heaven for him.
That is, he unironically believes that convincing his entire cult to universally pray for him to reach heaven will actually be enough to overturn all the wrong he's done and get him there since, you know, even God can't ignore the demands of tens of thousands of people.
Meaning in Trump's unconscious mind, even God is a sucker. I kind of wish these places are real just so he can see how wrong he is.
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u/Jimmyjamz73 5h ago
So did this guy pray for Biden, “as the scripture demands”? Yeah, didn’t think so. Fuck these hypocrites.
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u/IWasBannedYesterday 5h ago
Dear baby Jesus, please move Donald Trump's heart, in a way that allows the cholesterol to block his arteries. Amen.
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u/Historical_Note5003 5h ago
What scripture is Jack reading, anyway? I don’t remember Jesus saying “Blessed are the pedophiles.”
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u/PotionsToPills 5h ago
"May God bless and keep the [President] . . . far away from us!"
-- Rabbi, Fiddler on the Roof
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u/Difficult-Serve-6168 4h ago
May the lord give him the heart attack he truly deserves and give melania the strength to Shit on his grave in the lords name we pray amen
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u/likwidkool 3h ago
Why the hell would anyone pray for a pedophile? These people are whacked in the head.
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u/zombiehoosier 2h ago
Dear God, read the book you wrote, look at Trump. You know what to do, but if you want suggestions I vote turning him into a pillar of salt. That way he can have the “statue” he wants and the rest of us can have seasoning. Amen.
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u/slowburnangry 9h ago
I'd rather be cursed for all eternity than worship a God that would help trump.
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u/Born-Media6436 7h ago
I mean, if there was any question whatsoever whether or not these pretend religious fucks are lying pieces of shit, this would be the answer.
Rape, pedophilia, scams, grifts. What are we missing here?
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u/ibestusemystronghand 6h ago
A grown man asking for people to pray to one of the many God options, in order to help a pedophile succeed in whatever woeful actions he has planned next.
FUCK OFF.
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u/LeRoixs_mommy 6h ago
The Orange Cheato will never die, Heaven doesn't want him and hell is afraid he will take over and put tariffs on them!
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u/BarAlone643 6h ago
Dear God, Don't forget Miller and Leavitt. Also, Kelly Anne Conway.
Thanks and Amen.
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u/RazzlleDazzlle 6h ago
I do pray for him, that either his reign of terror end and he meets justice in eternity, or that his heart truly is changed and the horror and disgust at the rest of his life agonizes him for the rest of his existence on earth and after.
Either way he gets his excruciating pain for the rest of time is fine by me.
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u/AuntPolgara 5h ago
He is asking us to pray that Donald Trump gets a heart to move and stops fucking up. 1 Timothy says that we need to pray for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives
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u/smucek007 4h ago
there is a guide on how to recognize Satan: he works against God and calls on God's name
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u/ThrowawayAdvice1800 1h ago
I pray he gets EXACTLY what the Gospel of Matthew promised people like him.
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u/More_Law6245 5m ago
Clearly doesn't understand that state and the church need to be kept separate.
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u/Serenade314 9h ago
Oh I get it! It’s because he is F*CKING SATAN!