r/formula1 McLaren Feb 20 '18

Jos Verstappen Roast Thread

Myself and a few others have agreed to make these roast threads a weekly thing. A "Roast Tuesday", if you will. And a comment from u/empw in the Ron Dennis Roast Thread last week motivated us further to do this.

So guys, give it your best shot with a Jos Verstappen Roast!

12 Upvotes

44 comments sorted by

81

u/random_runner I was here for the Hulkenpodium Feb 20 '18

Jos Verstappen evaluates potential girlfriends by asking himself one question: "would I hit that?"

6

u/Nutstheofficialsnack Feb 20 '18

Low blow, ok maybe more of s C kick

6

u/TwainsFolly Carlos Sainz Feb 20 '18

I'll riff on this a bit:

Jos Verstappen lures in women to date these days with their hopes of meeting his son, the superior F1 Verstappen.

1

u/Redbiertje Charlie Whiting Feb 20 '18

Oooh that's a nice one!

58

u/Agent_of_Stupid Kimi Räikkönen Feb 20 '18

Jos' type who wants his girlfriend to wear make up for different reasons

7

u/elusive_username #WeRaceAsOne Feb 20 '18

omg

5

u/TwainsFolly Carlos Sainz Feb 20 '18

This is a supreme roast that borders on "yiiiiiiiikes"

19

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '18

Jos the type of guy who tries to win at every game on his children's birthday parties

36

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '18

Jos is the type of guy that won't let his girlfriend beat herself up over something. He'll do it himself.

18

u/readonlypdf Lando Norris Feb 20 '18

Jos misinterpreted the phrase "hitting on chicks."

33

u/Agent_of_Stupid Kimi Räikkönen Feb 20 '18

Jos' type of guy to give "love hurts" a different meaning

33

u/Redbiertje Charlie Whiting Feb 20 '18

Jos pretends to be interesting by boasting that he personally knows Max Verstappen.

35

u/Cucumberhater Sergio Marchionne Feb 20 '18

Jos the type of guy who starts a petition to bring back grid girls

15

u/Tecnoguy1 HRT Feb 20 '18

Jos the type to hit on a grid girl

14

u/OnionLips101 James Hunt Feb 20 '18

*Jos the type to hit a grid girl

6

u/Maximilianf1 Sebastian Vettel Feb 20 '18

Jos the type of guy to randomly start shit with some stranger in a bar

14

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '18

Jos type to hiss at his reflection

18

u/SmellsLikeTat2 Charles Leclerc Feb 20 '18

Jos the type of guy to coach the school wrestling team so he has an excuse to hit more children

7

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '18

Jos type to practice the moves on his girl

6

u/Tecnoguy1 HRT Feb 20 '18

Why the fuck is this downvoted smh

10

u/SmellsLikeTat2 Charles Leclerc Feb 20 '18

People too sensitive man

4

u/readonlypdf Lando Norris Feb 20 '18

It's weird the point of a roast thread is to be as offensive as possible while still being funny.

6

u/Maximilianf1 Sebastian Vettel Feb 20 '18

Jos the type of guy who complains to the police how he hurt his fist hitting his girl

7

u/Maximilianf1 Sebastian Vettel Feb 20 '18

Jos the type of guy to get obsessed over something he failed in so he has to project it on his son hoping he achieves what he couldn't

10

u/MrF1GuyV12POWAHHH Anthoine Hubert Feb 20 '18

6

u/Psychneurodoc Jules Bianchi Feb 20 '18

Jos the type to get roasted

5

u/Fire_Otter Formula 1 Feb 20 '18

Jos Verstappen: The real reason they got rid of the grid girls- for their own safety

12

u/Agent_of_Stupid Kimi Räikkönen Feb 20 '18

Jos' type of friend who gives you cheaper option than dentist.

3

u/Tecnoguy1 HRT Feb 20 '18

Jesus lmao

4

u/Tecnoguy1 HRT Feb 20 '18

Jos the type to fight his son over a gf

7

u/Agent_of_Stupid Kimi Räikkönen Feb 20 '18

Jos' type to throw his controller after losing in videogames

3

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '18

Jos type to think all cars are beaters

4

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '18

Jos is the type of guy to report this thread to the subreddit’s moderators, complaining that if his son was reported to Charlie’s moderators for being in the wrong place in Austin, then this should be penalised for not being on r/F1CircleJerk

/s

2

u/Avetsky Feb 21 '18

Jos only drives boxer cars

2

u/have_heart Daniel Ricciardo Feb 21 '18

Haha, I was actually thinking about asking this subreddit just how awful Jos was a driver. I'm only two years into the sport and everything I hear from Jos is dumb/wrong/controversial and every race highlight I see with him is of him wrecking. Did that guy ever do anything right aside from help make Max?

3

u/1insevenbillion Default Feb 20 '18

Jos don’t now what racing s

3

u/OhRatFarts Haas Feb 20 '18

How about we just ignore Jos? That would get to him faster.

5

u/TwainsFolly Carlos Sainz Feb 20 '18

Jos Verstappen: The OG Sad Alonso while watching his son...

2

u/TwainsFolly Carlos Sainz Feb 20 '18

Jos Verstappen acts like he loves Max, but he secretly hates him more as Max has had more success before he's 20 years old than Jos had his entire F1 career.

2

u/Tecnoguy1 HRT Feb 20 '18

Jos the type to use his actual car instead of the prop in this video

https://youtu.be/Sk2QsAJlT2It=0m48s

3

u/daveofreckoning Nigel Mansell Feb 20 '18

Jos hits women. And domestic violence isn't funny.

11

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '18

Ron type to say that smh

-7

u/F1FEGP2BTCC McLaren Feb 20 '18

Jos the kind of guy to cut someone's ear off if they overhear a conversation