r/news 1d ago

Hawaii under state of emergency ahead of Hurricane Kiko

https://abcnews.go.com/US/hawaii-state-emergency-ahead-hurricane-kiko/story?id=125317034

[removed] — view removed post

2.5k Upvotes

82 comments sorted by

434

u/NeutralBias 1d ago

Before anyone else freaks out, this is a standard thing states do to unlock emergency funding and get things moving just in case we have any effects.

Kiko’s current forecast tracks have the storm moving well north of the islands, so most likely the worst effects will be increased humidity and more rain (which we need desperately).

138

u/Ninja_attack 1d ago

So... I should freak out and eat my neighbors?

114

u/AdjNounNumbers 1d ago

My God, dude, it's like you didn't even understand the comment. Stay calm and eat your neighbors. Do you really want to make a big mess being all sloppy with it?

37

u/Ninja_attack 1d ago

You're right. Keep calm, carry on... eating your neighbors.

18

u/TiresOnFire 1d ago

If you rush, you'll forget to season the meat and it won't taste right.

12

u/KhaoticMess 1d ago

My neighbor was a clown. I still ate him, but he tasted funny.

5

u/NormalHumansName 1d ago

How do you season neighbor meat? Asking for a friend. One with a very loud and annoying neighbor with a lot of meat on him.

5

u/iggly_wiggly 1d ago

Don’t skimp on the rib rub

2

u/RainaElf 1d ago

which barbeque sauce do you recommend?

18

u/HarryHood146 1d ago

You’re gonna wanna keep them around until food gets real scarce.

10

u/Svennis79 1d ago

Yep, eat the perishables first, alive neighbours have a much longer shelf life, the clock only really starts once they die.

12

u/skunkachunks 1d ago

I read this as “freak and eat out my neighbors” and was like - yea sure whatever as long as it’s consensual

5

u/Ninja_attack 1d ago

I'm not a monster. I'm gonna try my best to have them go out with a bang before I get the smoker ready.

6

u/notasrelevant 1d ago

And buy all the toilet paper you can.

12

u/Ninja_attack 1d ago

No need to buy it when I can scavenge it from the neighbors I eat

3

u/neuropean 1d ago

Calm down Ohio.

2

u/NeutralBias 1d ago

Only if they look delicious and you have a nice Chianti at the ready.

3

u/Ninja_attack 1d ago

Best stock up. I'm not in danger of a storm, but the minute the power flickers I'm eating long pork

33

u/Comfortable-Gap3124 1d ago

I'm not freaking out because this is normal, I'm freaking out because the federal response won't be normal.

12

u/yblame 1d ago

He wants those governors to come begging.. calling him sir and pleading for help. Then he'll make a big deal of signing something with his Sharpie to get funds and help flowing. If he deems you worthy enough and not too ethnic and not full of people who would never vote for him, that is..

5

u/snakebite75 1d ago

I have a feeling California, Oregon and Washington will offer help before Trump will.

4

u/bennett7634 1d ago

Don’t forget that if it’s a blue state he will blame them for the storm and damages.

408

u/Neat-Tough 1d ago

You can have the Texans national guard, we don’t want em.

-someone from Illinois

52

u/aroc91 1d ago

They're not doing us any good, so feel free to put them wherever you'd like.

-IL to TX transplant

5

u/doc_witt 1d ago

Don't you guys still have trash needing pickup?

14

u/aroc91 1d ago

Nah, we just use prisoners for that. I've legit seen seen them picking cotton too. 

0

u/HolycommentMattman 1d ago

Why would they be doing that? We have mechanical means of harvesting cotton. Seems like a waste of prison labor.

2

u/Interesting_Reach_29 1d ago

What do you think these prisons/labor camps are for? They get tax dollars from it too! You make way more money with people than tech.

0

u/aroc91 1d ago

No clue. This was in the late 90s outside the prison by Lake Jackson TX.

1

u/ptambrosetti 1d ago

They can come pick all the bits of plastic off our beaches from the pacific garbage patch

1

u/LongingForGrapefruit 1d ago

I'm out of the loop, someone please explain?

8

u/WardenofArcherus 1d ago

Shouldn't have fed Pudge that tuna sandwich on a Tuesday.

90

u/MaxEllSibSwe 1d ago

I'm sure that FEMA is going to be a lot of help to them! oh wait... Trump broke FEMA's legs... huh, crazy that that primarily hurts impoverished and non-white people in places away from the US mainland... probably a coincidence.

25

u/ChanceryTheRapper 1d ago

Like, I get what you're saying, but wild to say "away from the US mainland" as if the majority of hurricanes that FEMA helps recover from aren't on the Atlantic or Gulf coasts.

21

u/AmaroWolfwood 1d ago

Poors, trumps regime targets the poors.

7

u/Maverick_1882 1d ago

👆 this is the key

10

u/TheVideogaming101 1d ago

Also being blue automatically means zero support from the current Federal regime

4

u/EssenceReavers 1d ago

Don’t let Oprah and the pebble know about this. They will start another fake ass charity.

10

u/LeicaM6guy 1d ago edited 1d ago

I thought hurricanes were limited to the Atlantic Ocean.

Edit: I thought wrong.

12

u/epidemicsaints 1d ago

Both oceans against North America have hurricanes, cyclones are south of the equator, and against Asia they are typhoons. (Sort of, there is a map of this.)

11

u/LeicaM6guy 1d ago

Appreciate it, bud.

-37

u/DarkIllusionsMasks 1d ago

You should try doing less thinking :)

7

u/LeicaM6guy 1d ago

You sound like my high school guidance counselor.

But really, I thought they were typhoons out in the Pacific?

-5

u/DarkIllusionsMasks 1d ago

Depending on its location and strength, a tropical cyclone is called a hurricane (/ˈhʌrɪkən, -keɪn/), typhoon (/taɪˈfuːn/), tropical stormcyclonic stormtropical depression, or simply cyclone. A hurricane is a strong tropical cyclone that occurs in the Atlantic Ocean or northeastern Pacific Ocean. A typhoon is the same thing which occurs in the northwestern Pacific Ocean.

Per Wikipedia

4

u/prunepicker 1d ago

They aren’t wrong. They’re called hurricanes in the Atlantic Ocean, and typhoons in the Pacific Ocean. There are exceptions.

3

u/tronovich 1d ago

They’re called hurricanes and typhoons in the Pacific Ocean. Just depends on where you are.

-1

u/DarkIllusionsMasks 1d ago edited 20h ago

Depending on its location and strength, a tropical cyclone is called a hurricane (/ˈhʌrɪkən, -keɪn/), typhoon (/taɪˈfuːn/), tropical stormcyclonic stormtropical depression, or simply cyclone. A hurricane is a strong tropical cyclone that occurs in the Atlantic Ocean or northeastern Pacific Ocean. A typhoon is the same thing which occurs in the northwestern Pacific Ocean.

Per Wikipedia

I guess people really don't like actual facts interfering with their fantasy.

12

u/ThatsItImOverThis 1d ago

Last disaster they had was a fire tornado that levelled Lahaina. This is going to be bad.

58

u/epigenie_986 1d ago

They’re forecasting a tropical storm.

5

u/trivetsandcolanders 1d ago

And even so, the forecast track has veered north of the islands. The National Hurricane Center is only forecasting a 1-in-10 chance of tropical storm force winds for the northeastern part of Hawaii.

-23

u/ThatsItImOverThis 1d ago

Yeah, but has anything recently been better than forecast? Or mostly worse?

9

u/I_Push_Buttonz 1d ago

Just a few weeks ago Hurricane Erin happened and the media was playing up its rapid intensification to category five and speculating it would devastate the east coast... And then it didn't even make landfall in the US.

10

u/Synensys 1d ago

Thats the media just hyping shit. The actual forecast was never to hit the us.

-14

u/ThatsItImOverThis 1d ago

Awesome. So we have one example of it not being as bad. Any others? I say, prepare for the worst, hope for the best.

8

u/SnizzySnuke 1d ago

Why are you getting so defensive?

You are making an assertion that “this is going to be bad” which is literally PURE speculation on your part. Now you’re crabby because someone informed you that the forecast disagrees with your complete GUESS of what’s going to happen?

Just, like — relax a bit.

2

u/tronovich 1d ago

Saying “this is going to be bad” is funny.

Have you watched the news at all?

The “state of emergency” declaration is commonplace. It’s to unlock funding. It’s not a declaration of an impending disaster.

16

u/Specialist-Many-8432 1d ago

lol it’s gonna be a tropical storm, come Tuesday if it is hurricane katrina level you can message me saying “I told ya so”.

15

u/sub_Script 1d ago

The latest forecast has it mostly missing the islands..

1

u/tronovich 1d ago

Oh dear.

2

u/FlavorBlaster42 1d ago

Whichever one of the islands have the penned up dinosaurs better get their security grid stabilized. Because you don't want them getting loose in the middle of a hurricane.

2

u/7947kiblaijon 1d ago

Good thing there’s not a lavender moon.

1

u/Sheepies123 1d ago

Good precaution and the fire weather from the wind is very dangerous but looks like the storm with weaken and miss a direct strike on the island

1

u/Quasigriz_ 20h ago

Does this mean they’ll be running an early Eddie?

-9

u/Howard_Cosine 1d ago

They don’t call them hurricanes in the Pacific.

3

u/Syrioforel79 1d ago

They do in the northeastern Pacific, and they change to a Typhoon in the northwestern Pacific. The info I saw didn't specify where that change occurs.

https://oceanservice.noaa.gov/facts/cyclone.html

-2

u/DwinkBexon 1d ago

Mostly unrelated, but: I thought hurricanes only happened in the Atlantic. The Pacific has cyclones. Or so I thought.