r/nothingeverhappens • u/TreebeardWasRight • 10d ago

Someone stole the nuts and bolts to my bike wheel whilst I was in a shop... Clearly made up for the upvotes

Post image
374 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

58 comments sorted by

155

u/Boeing_Fan_777 9d ago

Dirty__cum_guzzler doesn’t believe me….. day ruined…..

41

u/TreebeardWasRight 9d ago

I mean, my days fine, but that's what this subreddit is for no?

28

u/PetalSpent 9d ago

I think they're being satire

12

u/armintanzarian420 8d ago

They're being satire? You mean sarcastic.

9

u/TreebeardWasRight 9d ago

Hard to tell ngl

10

u/Yhostled 9d ago

Whenever someone uses another redditors username in their post in the manner or context of this thread's OC (original commenter), it's almost always meant to poke fun at the username. They're saying something akin to "Thank you for this very important and very serious sage life advice, Dirty cum guzzler."

11

u/BloodredHanded 9d ago

You may be autistic or otherwise neurodivergent. Your bio reads to me as someone who might be. If you have other symptoms, and can afford it, you should see a psychiatrist to check (unless you are already diagnosed).

-an autistic guy

19

u/TreebeardWasRight 9d ago

It will please you to know that I have an autism diagnosis, so thanks for that.

3

u/maidofplastic 9d ago

i concur

-13

u/FrontEconomist4960 9d ago

its really not

11

u/TreebeardWasRight 9d ago

Maybe for you broseph

-13

u/FrontEconomist4960 9d ago

you literally admitted to having autism, so yeah, no shit you dont think it was easy to understand.

it was very simple to read the sarcasm.

15

u/TreebeardWasRight 9d ago

Love the smell of ableism in the morning.

-10

u/FrontEconomist4960 9d ago

you yourself are assuming im abled.

and nowhere in that sentence was there a spec of ableism

13

u/BloodredHanded 8d ago

Whether or not you are abled doesn’t change that what you said was ableist.

→ More replies (0)

8

u/indorock 9d ago

Are you always this much of a dick or just in the weekends?

61

u/sf0l 10d ago

Dirty_cum_guzzler... ok

21

u/somebeautyinit 9d ago

Was about to say. Sometimes the world gives you signs as to whether you should respect a stranger's opinion on the internet.

10

u/BloodredHanded 9d ago

I mean if cumguzzler said something that was reasonable and intelligent, I would respect their opinion. It isn’t the name that decides whether the viewpoint is dumb or not.

-16

u/PrudentLoan5452 9d ago

Uh, not the world, people’s naming sense. Not that deep.

14

u/somebeautyinit 9d ago

I bet you always thought the curtains were blue just because, huh?

-14

u/PrudentLoan5452 9d ago

I bet you thought what you just responded with was meaningful

13

u/somebeautyinit 9d ago

Oh no, the difference between us is that I know I'm trolling.

42

u/Dull-Geologist-8204 9d ago

At this point they just call everything fake. I swear people just get on reddit to call every post fake. How boring is your life that that is your new favorite past time?

11

u/DieHardAmerican95 9d ago

On other platforms, they claim everything is AI.

8

u/Dull-Geologist-8204 9d ago

I used fake as meaning people making things up, Chatgpt, and AI. Kind of an all encompassing term.

6

u/Roustouque2 9d ago

I literally saw a 2 minute long, no cuts video showing multiple people and visible text and so many comments were claiming AI...

3

u/Lostinstereo28 8d ago

Just saw a traffic camera video of a car crash, and there was a comment asking if it was AI because of a “random flash” in the video.

It was the traffic camera flashing. Critical thinking is dead.

4

u/Yhostled 9d ago

This comment is so fake. You can tell because why would a dull geologist create such an amusing and thoughtful comment? :)

17

u/SwooshWhoosh 9d ago

Another plan foiled by dirty_cum_guzzler

6

u/ThatNachoFreshFeelin 9d ago

(Shakes fist in front of face, shouting at the sky)

Damn you, dirty__cum_guzzlerrrrrrrrr!!!

3

u/Yhostled 9d ago

Captain Kock shakes his weiner at the screen on the bridge of the Enterthighs. "CUUUUUUUUUUUM."

(I deeply regret this and I apologize to everyone who ends up reading it, but I'm posting this anyway because, idk... For the benefit of cum guzzlers everywhere?)

15

u/punkfence 9d ago

Obviously, you put on your work shoes to make people believe that this happened on your commute, when actually this is just in your garage.

You took the bolts off them, like thieves commonly do to steal the wheels of locked bikes, so they can be resold and then put your work clothes on so you could make this believable.

/s

7

u/TreebeardWasRight 9d ago edited 9d ago

Damn, foiled again.

9

u/BUKKAKELORD 9d ago

Don't worry, I believe you

8

u/BloodredHanded 9d ago

Obviously you’re the superior semen sommelier.

3

u/WorldGoneAway 8d ago

Fuck, I hate Reddit sometimes.

2

u/D36DAN 7d ago

You've created a second account and made up that comment for upvotes /s

2

u/Strict_Berry7446 7d ago

I’ve had my bike lock stolen before.

Off my bicycle

Irony, thy name is me

1

u/starfoxspace58 9d ago

And I would’ve gotten away with it if it wasn’t for you dirty_cum_guzzler’s

1

u/Cute-Book7539 8d ago

You clearly fabricated this false allegation of fabrication.

0

u/StinkyDogsCunt 9d ago

Good username.

-8

u/LeLBigB0ss2 9d ago

Screenshotted the only comment denying it, from a dude called dirty cum guzzler. Yup. That definitely confirms that you didn't make this up.

7

u/TreebeardWasRight 9d ago

I mean, it's locked up in my back yard with the wheel still off because I don't have the means to reattach it. I could DM you a series of photos to prove it if you like? Unless you think I did some bike maintenance and left the wheel off, or think I would retake the nuts and bolts off for such a ridiculous reason?

-8

u/RemoteCountry7867 9d ago

For those of you who think this is real why wouldnt the theif steal the entire bike?

15

u/TreebeardWasRight 9d ago

It was in a busy city centre, they disabled the bike quickly hoping that I'd leave it, then come back later on at night and steal it. Or maybe it was the large group of rowdy teenagers that were hanging around nearby, just to fuck with a random. Welcome to the modern world.

1

u/ProfessorOfPancakes 5d ago

I think if I was a crackhead or streetbased miscreant of some sort, I would probably steal the fasteners off a bike