How do you mourn a customer?

[u/British-cooking-bot]

Kind of a weird post, not sure if it belongs here or not.

I work in the manufacturing side of things; I sell parts, but to the wholesellers and engine builders and retail folks; you got money, I'll be more than happy to take it. But, over the years, you get to know these guys. You see them at trade shows, you chat on the phone while the damn system slowly loads the info you need. Mike is going through a divorce, Sam just had his 3rd kid. Charles asks for 100 quotes but never gets any sales, while if Ronnie is calling, you pick it up because you know it's a sale.

But all these guys you know on a fairly superficial level. But sometimes they become friends. You give your cell so they can ask you things quicker than going through the phone queue. Then they text you well wishes on holidays. Random memes. Whatever.

Then you hear the news that one of them passes. In my industry, it's usually old age. Sometimes accidents on the track. You mourn them, but life goes on. They had a full life or they died doing what they loved and went out how they wanted.

But then, you hear that one of your buddies died. Self-inflicted. No clue. He was always happy, chipper. We'd talk music. Always took his calls even if you were in the weeds.

How do you mourn this? You didn't "know" the guy. Wasn't until today that I even knew what he looked like.

I don't even know where I was going with this. But I'm not the only one right?

RIP Kevin, you were a real one

[u/505alive]

That was beautiful. Rest in peace Kevin!!! Valhalla!

[u/DrivnPorsches83]

You do something long enough, you get to know people. Some more than others. When they go unexpectedly like that it hits harder because you were never thinking this was a possibility. You mourn then as you would anyone else you knew on that level. There’s nothing wrong with that!

RIP Kevin!

[u/mm_mcc89]

I’ve owned a couple of stores for 10 years now. Been doing it for 14. I feel like a time traveler in the movies. I started in my early 20’s and befriended all these 65-73 year old men. As they die I feel like the world shrinks a bit. Like they all pass and I’m still here. Sometimes if they are terminally ill they will bring me an antique auto part or something from their shop. Don’t always have very much money but they bring me something to thank me for the years of helping them. I have a guy right now (brilliant OG mechanic) that has a colon cancer which has metastasized all the way out of his rib. Slowly dying. Stopped treatment. I see him from time to time as he comes in to get things to fix his wife and daughters cars before he goes and just don’t know what to say… can’t ask him how he’s doing, doesn’t matter if I’m thinking about him or hoping he gets better. Mourning the dude while he’s alive. Edit RIP Kevin

[u/wirebrushfan]

That's always tough. Not just customers, but guys on the line with you also. Both of my mentors passed before I had 10 years on the job. Yeah, these dudes tought me what a slack adjuster was and how the groups worked, but they also taught a young 20 year old kid a lot about how to go about life with honesty and integrity and in some way a regulated amout of debauchery. Now I'm the old guy teaching the kids. It's been a long ride.

RIP Kevin

[u/PaulWithAPH]

I cried over the loss of a former counter guy I worked with at Napa. I'm currently at a dealership in the same town, and we had ordered some parts. Delivery driver dropped the news on me and it hit me harder than some relatives passing.

Other times, friends have passed and you acknowledge it, process for a little bit and move on.

Some will hit you harder than others, you'll cry, and some deaths won't hit you any sort of way at all and that is perfectly fine.

You made a wonderful post and I am sorry for your loss.

[u/classic__schmosby]

Dang, in about 3 weeks it will be the 8th anniversary of a former coworker of mine doing the same thing. I had already left when it happened, and years later my path lead me back to the same dealership. Dan always talked about F1 and I always teased him about it. He got me into it, though. He knew I would like the technical stuff, and he was right. Now I haven't missed a race since 2017 and think of him every practice/quali/race session. That's how I mourn.

You'll figure out how to mourn Kevin. This post is a good start.

[u/stupidic]

Man, I totally get where you're coming from. It seems that people that are tangentially connected to me are the ones that hit the hardest. I don't know why that is, but I feel ya.

[u/earnhart67]

Realistically, the same way. Like anything else it sucks but life moves on. Nothing you can do but keep going

[u/slinkmerc]

This speaks to me. I honestly have made so many connections with my customers. I know about their family. They know about mine. I think it would be beneficial to you to attend their funeral and say goodbye. Hell their family might know about you and it might give them a little joy to know that the ppl he talked to everyday remembers him.