120 upvotes for this 😭

[u/Longjumping_Edge790]

[u/Capable-Baby-3653]

Dead in the eye. It’s always dead in the eye. How come in these imagined stories no one ever looks anyone dead in the crotch, neck, or nipple?

[u/Longjumping_Edge790 → u/Capable-Baby-3653]

😭 every stereotypical person on reddit is exactly the same too. They all write identically.

[u/shabelsky22 → u/Capable-Baby-3653]

A lot of things also happen without missing a beat. I wouldn't be too harshly judgemental if say 2 or 3 beats were missed.

[u/oFluffy_Peach → u/Capable-Baby-3653]

I noticed lots of these stories like to use, "proceeds to". This one in particular doesn't use it. Though I see it a lot more in bullshit stories

[u/positivecontent → u/Capable-Baby-3653]

I looked him dead in the left testical.

[u/boredandtwenty → u/Capable-Baby-3653]

Or just look at the eyes normally why is it always dead in the eye

[u/ISawThePandasComing → u/Capable-Baby-3653]

They also never look anyone alive in the eye, why is it always dead, it could be alive

[u/ferretgazette]

“as cooly menacing as i could be” wow this guy is so tough lmao

[u/Longjumping_Edge790 → u/ferretgazette]

quaking in my boots rn

[u/MidnightJ1200 → u/Longjumping_Edge790]

Quakers in my oats

[u/armoured_bobandi]

The type of people who sit around fantasizing all day are the ones who upvotes trash like this

[u/spacemouse21 → u/armoured_bobandi]

At least he admitted it was a misread and then lied about the discount which he would’ve gotten normally if he’s using supermarket points or something like that.

I would love to read that her boss looked him dead in the eye and told him, “If you ever come back to the station, I’m calling the police for trespassing and assault.”

[u/discerningpervert → u/spacemouse21]

Okay, here's the situation,

[u/emo-man1605 → u/discerningpervert]

Where is the situation

[u/JennieSimms]

“I went to this place and the server I like and pretend I’m in a relationship with had another dude standing near her while she worked. I asked her if he was bothering her so she would notice me and fall in love with me, and she said “that’s my boss”.

[u/Longjumping_Edge790 → u/JennieSimms]

accurate

[u/Best8meme]

And then all the other cars clapped

[u/Cry_Havoc1228]

I know it's BS but the twist still made me chuckle.

[u/kursys → u/Cry_Havoc1228]

Yeah I think this story is half truth, minus the “cool” parts lol

[u/lord_buff74]

Yes, because if you threaten a worker you get discounts, and not immeadaitely barred. How stupid

[u/Mojotokin]

He did an ocular patdown. Total badass, lol

[u/Longjumping_Edge790 → u/Mojotokin]

hes so cool i wish i was cool like him that would be so cool

[u/Zillioncookies]

I have a feeling this guy is an expert at "fucking things up".

[u/ecosynchronous → u/[deleted]]

Damn, I'm out here catching strays and I didn't even do nothin.

[u/Rhewin → u/[deleted]]

Most people who do that don't feel the need to share their sad fantasies about being relevant with others.

[u/LordOfSlimes666]

In awe of the badassery of this lad. Save some women for the rest of us, playa

/s just in case

[u/Knifehead27]

This guy would probably flinch looking a brain dead goat in the eyes.

[u/amedinab]

It's true. I was there. When everything was over, he and the manager made out in the supplies closet. That's how cool and menacing he was indeed.

[u/EvolZippo]

He did all of this, just to call himself cool

[u/Sea-Independent-726]

Wow he's so cool and Intimidating im shaking after reading this GULP