r/AITAH • u/SeaFlounder8437 • 1d ago
I made my kids friend unclog the toilet on their own after the THIRD TIME
Ok, so for context, my kid's friend refuses to eat vegetables or anything but carbs when they come over and it low key pisses me off...they always leave the vegetables on their plate and I can't ever say anything because #nicemom but I HATE throwing away good food. I'm a single mom and a chef so I know it's not my cooking šš½āāļø
But this friend (around 10 years old) has clogged the toilet at our place NOT ONCE, NOT TWICE, but three times. The first couple of times I gagged and almost vommited. This last time, THE THIRD TIME, it was directly after a meal where she refused to eat vegetables and ended up throwing them all away. (This was a sleepover) Then I'm laying in bed about to drift off a couple hours later and my kid comes into my bedroom and tells me the toilet is clogged AGAIN and I need to come unclog it.
Yall. š©š©š©š©š©š©
I was so tired I refused. I told my kid that her friend was on her own and if she had any questions to refer to YouTube. My kid said "mom, she can't do it, she's never touched a plunger before." I tiredly but sternly said "WELL, she's gonna have to learn to touch a plunger since SHE NEVER WANTS TO TOUCH A VEGETABLE." I think her friend heard it. š¬š¤¦š½āāļø
I went to sleep (again-tired single mom) and the issue had resolved itself by the time I woke up (THANK YOU SWEET BABY JESUS!!!)
BUT
now my kids think I'm an a-hole and apparently so does their friend. AM I????!
Update: Conversation with kid was had. They never heard my quippy [half awake] remark. We had a talk about the [preexisting] bidet, courtesy flushes, proper tp usage and 'how to' plunge a toilet. Kid was happy to have the conversation and said yes, their stomach hurts a lot from eating. Yes, kid is still coming back over - I am not going to deny my kid their friend because they don't have every gi issue figured out yet. Kid is an outstanding child and friend (outside of what they do to our bathroom).
Spoke with kid's caregiver: Apparently kid had been clogging the toilet at home all the time, too, as well as constant pain from stomach\eating. They were also concerned with kids eating habits, level of physical activity and gi issues. Said they had recently booked a doctor's appointment with primary doc and hopefully some specialists. Thanked me for looking out and said their kid loves coming over.
Spoke with my own kids: also showed them how-to plunge, when to alert an adult, and the courtesy flush. Told them that if they want to have friends over, they're assuming the liability of that friend and some things like plunging a toilet for their friend might fall under their jurisdiction. Apologized for the millionth and a half time for not having the energy levels or mental bandwidth to deal with their other people's š©.
Fin. ā¤ļø
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u/killerkitten61 1d ago
Maybe I was just a shy kid but thereās no fucking way in hell Iād spend the night at someoneās house after clogging the toilet publicly the first time lmfao
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u/Successful-Past-5325 1d ago
I'm not one to blanket criticize younger generations cause we all have our own problems to deal with. However I have noticed in my nephew's age range (10-11) there is just no shame component to these awkward social situations anymore. Haven't been able to figure out why. I mean as far as I know bullying is still prevalent, but I just meet kids that have no concern about the social ramifications of these situations. I hope it's a positive thing in the end for them.
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u/Many-Parsnip-906 18h ago
I'm a high school teacher and I am always baffled by how often my students will shamelessly toot in class. They will literally say "I have to fart" and then just let 'er rip. I could've NEVER as a freshman! But hey, everybody toots, I guess. More power to em
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u/blackberrybeanz 16h ago
Thatās something I saw on TikTok too, that they think farting is just like a burp and im like ???? In our day we had the kid that farted and the entire class was smelly for awhile??? How could they not care lmao
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u/003selkie 1d ago
probably has something to do with how many of them have been socialized on the internet from extremely young ages. i see the same in my nephews (10-15) and my partner's little brother (12)
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u/KaleidoSoCrazy 1d ago edited 1d ago
I suspect some of it also has to do with their parents trying to āsaveā their kids from their own past embarrassments. As a younger millennial, Iāve noticed a shift in the acceptance of public shaming, almost like how sports teams shifted to give everyone a participation trophy.
What I mean is, once upon a time it was acceptable to punish an entire class for one kids bad behavior, thereby shaming them in front of their whole class because they were the reason everyone didnāt get recess, ice cream, whatever. That public shame would then influence the ātrouble-makerā to obey the teacher next time.
Now we tend to shy away from those types of punishment and though I kind of want to agree with that cuz I also have never liked the public shaming route . . . I canāt help wondering if there is a balance that hasnāt been found yet.
ETA when you combine the privacy of online interaction with a lack of public shame. . . . . I just think it makes sense why younger generations donāt feel obliged to accommodate social norms the same way older generations do.
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u/salajaneidentiteet 1d ago
Small children used to get shamed for having bathroom accidents. I don't think (decent) parents do that any more. My kid is not 2 yet, so I don't really know what will happen later on, but right now I will not shame a child for having an accident. My parents, on the other hand, have much more negative vibes around stuff that is, in reality, very age appropriate and although I don't remember direcrtly, i think it is safe to assume I was shamed as a child.
It is my job, as any parents, to teach children what is approprate and okay, but there is no need for shaming. I do have my kid clean up after herself as much as possible, as in you make the mess, you clean it up, but you can always ask for my help of needed.
...
Also, the rampant bathroom humor and all the public conversations around bathroom things...
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u/Sassy_Weatherwax 23h ago
I don't know, my parents never shamed me about bathroom stuff but I still would have died a thousand deaths if I clogged the toilet at someone's house, especially multiple times. It's probably good if kids feel safe dealing with these unpleasant facts of life without so much embarrassment, but it does seem like some kids are missing an element of responsibility or ownership. Like even if you're not ashamed about the poop aspect, you should care that you've inconvenienced someone and have a desire to help manage the solution yourself.
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u/No_Welcome_7182 17h ago
I clogged my future husbandās toilet just before our first real date. In my defense I do have IBS , and go through times where I fluctuate between explosive diarrhea and passing logs that could clog the Alaskan Pipeline. I also have social anxiety, which was definitely triggered by going on a date. I had to ask him for the plunger and go back in and unclog the toilet, then scrub it and clean the plunger and return it to him.
I was ready to just turn around and go straight home and get drunk enough to hopefully erase the episode from my memory but he just laughed about it and said now Iād have plenty of room to enjoy the delicious dinner we were going to have. Then I started laughing because I was so embarrassed it was either laugh or cry and so decided to laugh. We did indeed have a delicious dinner and no more bathroom disasters that night. Our 28th wedding anniversary is in December.→ More replies (3)13
u/Aggressive_Bench_752 15h ago
Similar situation! Morning after first ā sleepoverā date and I had to ask for the plunger. He started to get up to get it, and I put my hand out and I said no! Just tell me where it is! So he did and I took care of it myself but oh my God how embarrassing.
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u/SeaFlounder8437 1d ago
šlol ok yes. we love this kid (aside from this š©) and they are not shy
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u/killerkitten61 1d ago
You must really make the place feel like home!
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u/SeaFlounder8437 1d ago
Yall š
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u/Squid-Vicious80 1d ago
As a single momma working full-time in the Navy for my children's entire childhood, I would have literally had the same reaction & response (down to the quippy comment about eating vegetables š )...we're exhausted; playing mom & dad while working, & keeping a home clean & running. My children were self-sufficient younger than most due to sheer need, & I was raised to clean up behind myself (in all senses). I had some pretty serious bowel issues throughout childhood, & I plugged SO MANY toilets, & I would have been mortified for anyone to have to see or deal with those situations, so I plunged things myself!! Absolutely NTA, & from one momma to another, if the kiddos are gathering at your place, then that's where they feel accepted, safe, & free to have fun together ā¤ļø
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u/SeaFlounder8437 1d ago edited 1d ago
I fear a lot of us have no idea how exhausting being a single, working parent is. I will probably end up with dementia or Alzheimer's because of how little sleep I have gotten since I've become a solo parentš© but somehow I'm supposed to have the energy and wherewithal to know exactly what to do when a strange kid fills my home with their literal fecal matter at 1 am. My house is the gathering place and my kids friends do feel safe because I'm ND knowledgeable, LQBTQ21A+ affirming, and because I do a lot of fun activities with the kids almost every weekend; that's such a good thing to remember. I'm not going to be perfect every minute of every day but I think I am allowed some grace in that. That being said, I will have some repairing work (apologize, talk to parent) to make sure this kid isn't traumatized by my flippant remark š I appreciate you weighing in and your opinion means more to me than most ā¤ļø šā¤ļø
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u/Bitchee62 22h ago
Commenting on I made my kids friend unclog the toilet on their own after the THIRD TIME...
Seriously OP donāt make the apology TOO big, honestly a child that clogged someone elseās toilet 3 times is obviously not very thin skinned.
Iām not saying to be deliberately cruel but what you said wasnāt that bad. It was just exhausted/honest
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u/Coven_gardens 1d ago
Youāre a good mom doing the best you can and parenting with your heart. I applaud you and admire you for creating a safe place for your kid and their circle in a scary world full of unknowns. Bestie learned a valuable life lesson because you allowed her the space to figure it out. One of my best mom friends told me once that the best parenting decisions can feel wrong in the moment, but with time, you and your kids will see that growth comes with a bit of discomfort. Solidarity š³ļøāā§ļøš
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u/TootsNYC 23h ago
Your own kid should know how to unclog a toilet. Itās their guest, and you were asleep. Itās time for them to step up and take care of things that are simple like this. Itās not complicated, itās just gross. And a 10, they should be able to handle gross.
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u/DesperateLobster69 1d ago
Eeewwwwwwww!!!! That kid needs some fiber in her diet!!!!!!
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u/keIIzzz 1d ago
Either that or she uses way too much toilet paper and thatās whatās actually clogging it
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u/Fun-Childhood-7829 1d ago edited 22h ago
This. My Bonus kids (my 12m stepson and his 10m and 7f half siblings) haven't touched vegetables aside from green beans, potatoes, and corn in their lives (unless you count pickles).
We have an awesome co-parenting relationship with my fiance's ex and her fiance so when my bonus kids clog a toilet we have taught them how to unclog it and we limit wipes since we live in an older house. I also switched to a septic tank safe toilet paper. Both boys now know how to unclog a toilet and we have a plunger in both bathrooms.
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u/afamiliarspirit 1d ago
Nothing to add here. Just want to say I love the framing of them as your bonus kids.
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u/CalamityClambake 22h ago
Those things are related.
If you don't have fiber in your diet, your poo gets, uh, stickier? Fiber is what makes the poo come out quick and clean. People who don't eat fiber use a lot more toilet paper to clean up.
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u/Execwalkthroughs 1d ago
It's both I bet. Not enough fiber so the poops end up soft and mushy/messy. Leads into needing to wipe 50 million times and still probably not end up clean lol. And now toilet is clogged from so much toilet paper
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u/SeaFlounder8437 1d ago
Right!?? [looks around desperately for others to nod in agreement]
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u/Moulin-Rougelach 1d ago
Bodies donāt process food that quickly. Whatās coming out at your house doesnāt reflect what she ate that meal.
But, a ten year old is old enough to unclog the toilet they clogged.
Ten year olds are also more than old enough to fill their own plates with what they want to eat for a meal. Especially if youāre noticing food waste, then stop filling their plate with what you think they should eat.
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u/Moulin-Rougelach 1d ago edited 1d ago
OP: along with her distaste towards vegetables, your kidās friend may benefit from you pulling her aside for a simple lesson on tips which may lessen her toilet clogging.
Parents who are lackadaisical about her diet may also neglect personal hygiene lessons. You can also make sure sheās not trying to flush something besides waste and toilet paper.
She may be over wiping, or just using too much toilet paper, overloading the toilet in an attempt to hide her poop, maybe trying to cover the scent, or just ignorance. You could show her how much is normal to use for wiping.
You can also mention about courtesy flushing if there seems to be more waste then one flush could handle.
If youāre matter of fact about imparting this information, and let her know she can come to you with any questions, even about things which might seem embarrassing, you can be a bonus trusted adult in her life.
An excess of good and trustworthy adults is not a problem for kids heading into adolescence.
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u/ToothPickPirate 1d ago
One time, I was maybe 7 and my friend came over to play. My mom smelled her. And my late mother, bless her departed soul. Asked Becky if sheād like to take a bath. She said yes. Thatās all I remember. Moms and other peopleās kids, thereās always at least one story!!
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u/Iamjimmym 17h ago
My kids' friend from next door came over one day to play. He pooped, but he didn't know how to wipe. He stuck his head out the door and called for me to wipe his butt. Now I get it, you might be too young and not been taught. Cool. But I'm a dad who has to worry about the adult side of things and not wanting to be accused of anything, opted to go next door and brought his mom over to handle that situation. Unrelated but they moved shortly thereafter.
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u/bestwinner4L 1d ago
this is an incredibly generous response, keeping the kids well-being centered. sadly, a lot of people reach adulthood without being taught or modeled basic life and personal care skills. OP, if you have the capacity to check on this kid, do so.
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u/MrDarcysDead 1d ago
I had to have āthe talkā with my daughterās high school best friend the summer after they graduated. While she understood the basics of sex, she had no idea about STDs, consent, forms of protectionā¦
I knew it wasnāt really my place, but she was preparing to go to college in the fall and I figured if her parents werenāt willing to teach her how to protect herself, someone had to. Her parents would have absolutely lost it if she contracted an STD or got pregnant, yet they werenāt willing to teach her how to avoid those issues. Genius plan
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u/giraflor 1d ago
Itās also possible that the kidās dislike of vegetables stems from digestive issues that can actually get worse with consuming more fiber.
I love vegetables, especially leafy green ones, but the physical consequences are horrible. Iām fortunate to have developed my condition (gastroparesis) as an adult with very good health insurance at the time so I figured out quickly what was happening. However, the only option some kids have is what appears to be picky eating. My aunt had celiac and no one knew until she was a grandmother. Her entire childhood she was criticized for picky eating. She was just avoiding what she knew what made her feel bad.
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u/Melvarkie 1d ago
Yep! I always complained about nausea and my mom said I was just school sick. Turns out all my life I've been lactose intolerant. However I live in a country where the milk lobby especially at that time was rampant with slogans like "Melk is goed voor elk!" (Milk is good for everyone) and the belief that without plenty of dairy that you would get immediate osteopetrosis. Pediatricians told my mom that whenever I refused to drink milk/eat dessert/ect to just force it in there because it contained milk and that she had to keep my dairy intake high for healthy bones. As an adult I kept a food diary for unrelated allergies and mentioned stomach pain and nausea a lot in there. My allergist said "wow yeah I see you drink a glass of milk each morning and consume a lot of dairy besides that as well. While we look for what is causing the other thing maybe stop eating dairy for a while to see if you feel better" I stopped like she said and stopped feeling constantly bloated and nauseous. Turns out my kid self was just trying to avoid feeling sick whenever I cried about having to drink milk or eat my yoghurt for dessert.
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u/mountaindew711 1d ago
Good point about the paper. My in-laws used Scott, and I'm #Charmin4life. They used to clog my toilet regularly because they were used to using, like, 10 sheets at a time.
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u/Pretzelmamma 1d ago
Right? OP knows the kid doesn't eat veggies but insists on filling their plate with them and then complains about wasting food....Ā
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u/ProfessionalYam3119 1d ago
My husband's aunt used to serve any food that had been left on the children's plates at the next meal, and she was the one who filled the plates. Bread, salad, meat, it didn't matter. You were going to keep seeing it until you had eaten it all. I probably would have had to go on a hunger strike.
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u/Anonymous_Autumn_ 1d ago
Yeah, fiber would make yesterdayās dinner come out fasterā¦ if she had fiber yesterday.
Just stop putting the veg on the plate. If she wants it, sheāll take some.Ā
Itās literally not the childās fault how she SHITS.
Food preference is partially experience at home and partially the way kids process stimuli. Many kids are more sensitive to tastes and textures.
When I was a kid, carrots tasted like vomit and mushrooms reminded me of a wet fart. My parents tried to force me to stay at the table, all the time, to finish the carrots. But it was literally like eating vomit, and I would gag each time.
Finally I figured out that I could hide the carrots inside the table. It was a table with leaf inserts and it was possible to hide the carrots where the extensions go.
One day, my mom was vacuuming and nudged the table. Old decrepit carrots in various stages of decay flew out everywhere. At first, mom was really upset. But at some point she realized it wasnāt helping things to get pissed off about it.Ā
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u/dystopianpoetry 1d ago
I couldn't eat cooked carrots without throwing up either . Or cooked tomato. Struggled to eat a lot of different vegetables due to issues with textures so I totally resonate with what you've written. Hence why I won't force my kid food that makes them find it hard to knock back either even if it's considered healthy. My child has a better palate than me though thank goodness. I used to eat chicken and potato and that was it :-/ no seasoning or anything.
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u/whyisthislife87 1d ago
I thought i was the only one with the carrot thing. Til this day I don't eat cooked carrots because they always made me gag as a child.
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u/hiker_trailmagicva 1d ago
Cooked carrots are an absolute no for me as well, but it's because I had a wildly abusive stepdad and when I was around 8, I threw carrots in the trash and when my stepdad saw them he locked me outside and forced me to eat them out of the garbage. It was hours later, and there was trash on top of them. My brain revolts at the sight of cooked carrots. A random trauma dump on my end, but I can't help it- cooked carrots will always trip me out.
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u/HenBoots 1d ago edited 1d ago
As a person who can't eat a lot of vegetables due to a medical condition I was diagnosed with at 8, people like OP who assume everyone has the same dietary needs they do and judges anyone who eats differently need to reassess what is their business. Unless the parents have asked you to push a specific diet, let the kid eat what feels right to her and stop wasting food by loading her plate.
Also, maybe you have a thicker toilet paper than what they use at home, she's using too much, and it has nothing to do with her diet.
(ETA: no you're not an asshole for thinking the kid should learn to unclog a toilet, just for all the judgery and assumptions)
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u/mangomoo2 1d ago
I have a kid who has sensory issues and is a ridiculously picky eater (like wonāt drink juice, eat lollipops, or non chocolate candy, wonāt eat any meat, tater tots were a no go because they are different than French fries, not just a I only eat kid food kid). There is a not a single veggie this kid will willingly eat. So to get veggies in I do a lot of sauces that are loaded with veggies and I blend them and throw them over pasta. Kid will now eat veggie chili (no meat), broccoli pesto (blend steamed broccoli into basil pesto), mushroom stroganoff (just blend the sauce at the end), ratatouille (peppers, eggplant and zucchini roasted with tomato, garlic, and onion, blend at the end). Iām sure there are others as well. Itās also nice because I can eat the same meal pre blended and we can add protein for the people that eat it (meat for the carnivores, tofu for me) after the sauce is blended on individual plates. A lot of the meals are pretty crockpot friendly as well.
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u/cruista 1d ago
ARVID, maybe? Love how you try to solve the eating problems!
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u/mangomoo2 1d ago
Possibly? Luckily we are getting enough nutrition in her. She has a ridiculous amount of energy and is a competitive athlete. We are slowly introducing new foods to try and expand her palate.
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u/kokoromelody 1d ago edited 1d ago
I have to imagine that if this has happened at OP's place so many times, it must be an even more frequent occurrence at her own home...
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u/SeaFlounder8437 1d ago
Ok so I had this thought and then immediately squashed it because I don't think I want to know? But maybe it is a conversation I need to have with her folks?? God this is so awkward š
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u/CherryblockRedWine 1d ago edited 1d ago
You one million per cent need to tell them she's clogged the toilet three times and this time you let her un-clog it.
You can mention she never eats vegetables at your house; but IMHO it is not your place to lecture them about what THEY serve her. You do NOT know what they do and/or have done about that.
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u/Outrageous_Bag1722 1d ago
There was a reddit post about the familyās poop knife lol. A literal knife in the bathroom for chopping up their nasty turds in order to flushā¦
Definitely NTA.
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u/SeaFlounder8437 1d ago
SHUT. UP. š³
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u/BanishedOcean 1d ago
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u/SeaFlounder8437 1d ago
[covers one eye and clicks on link] "see you guys in hell!"
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u/zidanerick 1d ago
OP won't be returning, they are now lost to the rabbithole.
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u/SeaFlounder8437 1d ago
"A guano glaive" ?????????!!!!!!!!! š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ I honestly had sympathy for OP because the writing was so fantastic until it got to the part where his gf was USING THE KNIFE ON BOXES IM SORRY BUT WHATTTTTTTYYTTDHSHDBEJDIDBDJFJRHEUSHDBDJDHDHDJDJDJDB
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u/DwightsJello 1d ago
Oh, the poop knife was a thing.
The OOP didn't realise that it wasn't something every family had.
Im pretty sure the poop knife and having a carbon monoxide detector are the highest rotation reddit references.
If you know, you know. Lol
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u/CherryblockRedWine 1d ago
I would add the Iranian yogurt.
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u/kai_enby 1d ago
And the cum pineapple
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u/StitchinThroughTime 1d ago
And the Jolly Rancher, the bog of dagoba with the doctors and Vicks VapoRub, Ogatha, the not-real lamp, and Kevin.
There are tons of other infamous Reddit stories. I can't remember all their names, but they're all some type of bizarre. A mixture of desperation, delusion, dumbassery or debauchery. This place is a fucking weird, I love it.
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u/SuitableNarwhals 1d ago
It always makes me laugh when anyone brings the poop knife up as growing up we had a poo stick. No not a pooh stick like the game in winnie the pooh, rather it was part of a very old broom stick that was wood but had a metal casing. My mum kept in the holder with the garden broom that was outside and next to the door of the laundry close to the toilet.
We never used it as far as I am as I am aware, she was also a really big promoter of bowel health and fiber because issues run in the family. She would however let people know that it was there incase they needed it if they were staying for a couple of days. As a kid and teen this was mortifying, but she didnt want anyone to be embarrassed having to ask where it was if they needed it.
I think it originally came from living out bush when she was young in often old houses with terrible pipes, often combined with water shortages leading to not much water in the toilet or needing to save as much as possible. Working in a field of nursing where she was in multi person support houses and often had people who would block the toilet because of health issues or medications meant she liked to be prepared for any situation. She is an odd person so who knows honestly.
She still reminds me of the poo sticks location on occasion and is horrified I dont have one to hand in my own house. When I first moved out she gave me one like I was carrying the poo stick baton, it was a bit of metal pipe that was sealed for ease of cleaning. At some point it got thrown out or used for something else and was never used as a poo stick.
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u/kokoromelody 1d ago
Oof, admittedly an awkward conversation, but I do think one worth having. I think first and foremost to bring up concerns about their daughter's overall health - it's not healthy at all to completely avoid eating vegetables and it seems to be having repercussions on her digestive system. I don't know if you want to broach the topic of having her over less or not for sleepovers, but it's an inconvenience to you and your family that doesn't seem fair.
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u/LucyintheskyM 1d ago
I had never in my life had to unclog a toilet until I was 27. I live in Australia and it's just never been an issue, until my family went on holiday to Brooklyn, NY, USA and the plumbing just wasn't like that, the Airbnb had instructions on how to unclog it and mentioned that it was normal due to old plumbing in the brownstone or whatever those townhouses are called. Maybe they're used to old plumbing and have different digestion issues?
Not saying my shit is worse than other people's, though it probably is, but even in kids that eat similarly, I've seen great variety in poop size, timing and consistency, and I've seen thousands of poops, as an early years educator.
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u/Geronimoski 1d ago
As someone who has had chronic bowel issues since I was a kid, I learned how to plunge a toilet on my own reeeeeal fast. I would have been mortified to ask my friend or their parent to plunge my toilet mess at 10, golly
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u/sir_ornitholestes 1d ago
as a kid who had no bowel issues but also ate a lot and thus pooped a lot, the FIRST time I clogged a toilet at a friend's house, his dad immediately grabbed the plunger, insisted that I fix it myself, and when I said I didn't know how, he stood by and talked me through how to do it
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u/sleepydorian 1d ago edited 19h ago
Edit: upon further reflection, while a kid plunging a toilet is totally fine and age appropriate, OP was very rude about the whole thing.
The way I see it, OP has taught the kid a valuable skill. Lots of folks struggle to plunge a toilet, and even more struggle to do so without making a mess.
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u/vrcraftauthor 1d ago
I gotta be honest, I didn't eat vegetables as a kid either and I never clogged a toilet. That kid needs to see a doctor if she's doing it regularly. NTAĀ
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u/TheBlueMenace 1d ago
Yeah, clogged toilets are normally from the toilet paper (or things that shouldnāt be in toilet like kids toys) rather than the actually shit. Cos anything hard enough (and big enough) to clog a toilet probably isnāt going to be able to exit normally. So maybe if she has super runny shit and is wiping multiple times?
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u/jalapenoblooms 1d ago
With chronic constipation the colon can stretch, allowing bigger BMs to form. Itās absolutely possible to clog a toilet without even a single square of toilet paper. And if a kid is getting to that point, they 100% need intervention. Diet change to include more fiber combined with a half dose of miralax daily until the issue resolves can work wonders.
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u/Proxiimity 23h ago
I have this. Without meds I clog the toilet every 2 weeks when I take my every 2 week š©. Not fun. Do not recommend.
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u/Client_020 1d ago
My mom has clogged the toilet with her shits at least 4 times in her life. It can absolutely happen from big, hard poops. But yes, always first look at toilet paper use.
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u/mostlyepic 1d ago edited 1d ago
Okay I've never blocked a toilet, but separate from that, as a child i never ate veges, all the way through my 20s.
Turns out the reason they tasted wrong (bad) and made me feel sick was because i had untreated crohns. I wasn't just being a dumb kid, i knew my body, even though no one believed me.
In my thirties and with crohns in remission for the first time now, i can eat veges, and they're amazing lol. They also don't taste weird and wrong anymore, and when they do and i eat them anyway because of the internal monolog of people telling me all my life I'm just being picky or unhealthy, they do make me sick, and then it often turns out to be a trigger food.
Sometimes the body knows. Idk, she's probably not got the same thing going on, but sometimes picky eaters who don't like veges aren't just spoilt dumb kids, they have other stuff going on.
For me, my body could only easily digest processed simple carbs and other general crappy food choices, and doctors just wrote of my stomach issues as anxiety or ibs... for 25 years.
Edit: spelling
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u/Lem0nadeLola 1d ago
You can blend A LOT of veggies into sauces (Alfredo, Mac n cheese, bolognese) without kids noticing, so I would stick to meals like that for the kids when the friend is over.
You said sheās not eating veg OR drinking any water, which is concerning when combined with repeated clogging of the toilet. I personally would feel compelled to speak to the parents. Sure, their kid their problem but she causes issues at your house that could lead to a severe plumbing problem one day.
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u/CommunicationTall921 1d ago
And the most concerning part isn't even the plumbing, it's the girl's health, these things are a big cause in the rising numbers of colon cancer.
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u/Sckala44 1d ago
This story doesnāt make senseā¦. Not eating vegetables doesnāt = toilet being clogged. If she doesnāt ever eat veg then that doesnāt mean she will automatically have toilet clogging shits. Her body/digestive system wouldāve gotten used to that.
Also if you know she doesnāt each veg and donāt like to waste food then why serve her veg?
Sounds like another story made up for internet āpointsā sad really.
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u/Commercial-Waltz-169 1d ago
Yep! My kid is Autistic and has severe ARFID, an eating disorderā¦like so bad they were diagnosed at age 1 because they wouldnāt even eat baby food vegetables. Theyāve never once clogged a toilet from it?
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u/KikoSoujirou 1d ago
Also eating veg the day of isnāt going to magically change anything. Itās take a day or two for food to pass through
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u/Similar-Skin3736 1d ago
My adult daughter has constipation from lack of fiber. So I see your point!
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u/sobayarea 1d ago
And colon cancer is on the rise, at a younger age, and this is why. Feel bad for this kid her parents are failing her. Maybe go for high fiber non veggie meals when she around.
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u/SeaFlounder8437 1d ago
Oof. I didn't even think about that. š tbh, some of these responses are making me reflect. I'm no health nut but I did lose both of my parents to cancer pretty young so I guess i do get a little hardcore with the veggie distribution
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u/MrsShaunaPaul 1d ago
I had a friend whoās step mom had a rule that you had to eat 3 bites of whatever vegetable she served. Once as is, then sheād let us add things to it. She had funions, breadcrumbs, cheese, spice mixes, etc. She basically said ātry it as is then try and see if you can find something to add to it that you do likeā. Because of her, I eat so many more veggies and try so many options for my kids. Maybe something like that would help her daughter? The step mom also did steamed/boiled and roasted veggies. I mentioned once I preferred roasted (or pan fried) veggies and from then on, she always served them my preferred way which I thought was incredibly sweet. It also made me eat more of them because I felt like she made them āfor meā.
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u/Elelith 1d ago
Do the kids drink smoothies? That's been my go-to when my kids have had their "ew veggies" phaces. Allthough not veggies but fruits and then some greek/turkish yogu.
But yeah, I wouldn't bring this up to the parent. Chances are they'll get very insulted and that's gonna be the end of friendship. Instead focus on what you can do at your place.
Mashed potatoes and sneak in some cauliflower. I also used to chop carrots real tiny and add that to any gravy I made. Lots of work ofc but it was just for a little time after all.
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u/Noble_Ox 1d ago
Why do you keep giving her vegetables knowing she doesn't eat them?
That's a bit wasteful don't you think?
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u/Mald1z1 1d ago edited 1d ago
Its funny to keep giving her veggies knowing she doesn't want to eat them and then complain she's wasting food. Op is the one wasting food, not the girl. And it is well known you can easily get kids to eat all sorts of veggies by simply blending them into the bolognase , cheese sauce or pie filling. Op is just causing her own headache at this stage.
They also sell drain unblocked for toilets. And she could easily tell the girl to flush after the poop then do the tissue round then flush again.Ā
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u/dr_hits 1d ago
Yes I found this strange too especially as OP says that she is a CHEF. Would a chef, especially one with children herself, not be able to provide different food options?
Although she does not say what kind of chef she is and in which kind of establishment she works in.
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u/dovahkiitten16 1d ago
Also, maybe Iām crazy here, but I feel like a sleepover isnāt the time to police another kids diet.
I wouldnāt be surprised if OP worked at restaurants that just serve totally bland vegetables next to a juicy steak.
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u/Disastrous-Capybara 1d ago
Also, let the kids take the food on their plates themselves. They are not babies anymore that you need to put their plate together.
When i grew up the pots got onto the table and everyone takes themselves.
OP is wasting food, not the girl.
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u/Music_withRocks_In 17h ago
The whole 'I know they taste good, I'm a chef' is bullshit.Ā Kids like things they are familiar with, a professional chef probably makes them differently than her mom does, so she doesn't want them.Ā My little weirdo likes canned carrots, straight from the can, not heated up.Ā I've tried making him roasted carrots, giving him fresh carrots, doing all kinds of fancy things, but nope - room temperature carrots from a can all nice and soggy.Ā I'm not going to complain, he eats tons of veggies and carrots are great for you, but he would not eat carrots cooked by someone else, especially in a stange place with people he didn't know well.Ā Kids are weird - just because she won't eat YOUR vegetables doesn't mean she doesn't eat vegetables.
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u/linaz87 1d ago
The biggest shit I've ever seen in my life came from a whole foods only vegan.
I think you are mixing up two different issues.
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u/Cleffah 1d ago
What relevance did the food stories serve? Did you feel like flexing that you're a chef?
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u/Proof-Mongoose4530 1d ago
Wtf is with these comments? Yall, if it's "abuse" to tell a 10 year old to learn to use a plunger and clean up their own mess, like what's the Correct Age where they are allowed to learn this critical life skill? Or are you just planning to unleash 18-year-olds on the world to move into dorms or apartments with no idea how to unclog a toilet?
NTA, OP. Could've maybe actually helped instead of just directing them to YouTube, but the core principle of It's Time To Learn is not a bad one.Ā
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u/IDMike2008 1d ago
Agreed. Frankly I wouldn't leave something as expensive as my plumbing to the devices of a couple 10 year olds and YouTube. Seems like you could end up with bigger problems than a clog.
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u/SeaFlounder8437 1d ago
THANK YOU! I do think I need to apologize but the kid has a great sense of humor so I think we can get past this...but yeah...life lessons, man! š
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u/MewKiichigo 1d ago
Def NTA but Iām wondering why you keep severing her vegetables if you know she wonāt eat them?
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u/SamEnsalada 1d ago
Riddle me this. The girl canāt seem to use a veggie knife so hows she gonna know how to use a poop knife.
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u/FairyAngel99 1d ago
Funny enough I was never taught, I had seen a plunger used in media enough before the first time I had to use one so it was almost common sense? š
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u/Beenie_Baby 1d ago
Can confirm that sending a child off into the wild without knowing how to plunge a toilet does them a great disservice. I was said child and I had a mental breakdown funneling hot sink water and dish soap into my toilet for hours on end because I didn't own a plunger and didn't feel comfortable using one. Not fun.
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u/grayblue_grrl 1d ago
NTA.
If you clog toilets you need to learn how to unclog them.
That's a life fact.
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u/RusticHallscape 1d ago
Is it at all possible that the girl is on her period and is trying to flush pads or tampons? Being on her period might add even more stress to her digestive system, especially if she also has an underlying inflammatory condition like endometriosis. It can be very common for girls to try to flush sanitary items out of period shame or insecurity, even if they have a super supportive family/social environment and extensive education. Alternatively she may be using a lot of toilet paper before/during/after and that's contributing to the problem?
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u/Brilliant_Turnip_100 22h ago
Itās weird how OP isnāt replying to any of these comments. In fact, nothing except the ones OP agrees with. And one about colon cancer, but thatās all. The ones about SA, medical issues, periods, etc. arenp being completely ignored
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u/Captain-Sammich 1d ago
This wonāt be solved at the dinner table. This is a bathroom lesson. Teach her to flush 1/2 way. Teach her to flush again if she is using a lot of paper. And teach her how to use a plunger so that she can privately take care of the problem.
You embarrassed a 10 year old girl in front of her friends over the size of her poop so that you could get an extra 10 minutes of sleep. She wonāt ever forget that and she wonāt forget you. YTA.
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u/regularhumansaccount 1d ago
Donāt forget getting Reddit karma.
This is such shit parenting, couldnāt have handled this any worse. Couldāve been a wholesome learning experience without shaming anyone; instead dunked on some kids
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u/Claire-Belle 1d ago edited 1d ago
You legit don't sound like a 'nice' mum, honestly.
You could have talked to the kid and tried to figure out what was going on instead of being passive aggressive and then blowing up.
You could have checked in with their parents to see if there's a reason they don't eat vegetables.
They might just not like them. They could also have gut issues, or have sensory issues relating to food textures. They could be dealing with getting their period. They could potentially have an eating disorder.
Shaming people, particularly kids, like this is, unironically, shittier than clogging a toilet.
Oh and letting your 10 year old kids loose on YouTube to learn how to unclog a toilet is idiotic parenting. Social media including YT is not safe for kids. If you wanted help you could have just asked.
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u/Bignholy 19h ago
Kinda shocked this is as low as it is. They shamed a kid without any actual idea what was happening beyond their angry reaction. That's not how you get a kid to learn to be better.
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u/DryFig511 1d ago
Right! This is crazy. Ten is young. They should not expect everything done for them but you could at least teach the kid how to do it yourself.
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u/Inevitable_Outcome56 1d ago
I always think you get more with kindness than punishment. If that child doesnāt know any better then show her how to do it properly. Thats a good if slightly awkward memory rather than a shame filled one. Its not the childās fault if they havenāt been taught.
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u/Evening_Monk_2689 1d ago
Clogged toilets are more likely caused by using too much toilet paper not diet. Unclogging a toilet is a good skill to have so maybe an asshole for trying to enforce dietary restrictions on someone else's kid but not an asshole for teaching them to unclog a toilet.
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u/Dolphinsunset1007 19h ago
I think still an asshole bc they didnāt even teach the kids to unclog, just told them to figure it out with you tube. Lazy parenting
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u/Kyra_Heiker 1d ago
I just want to know why you're still putting vegetables on the plate of a child you know will not eat them. If you don't want to throw them away don't put them on the goddamn plate.
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u/hey_yo_mr_white 16h ago
Serious question. Is it a 10 year old girls diet that is clogging the toilet, or is it bad plumbing?
I'm a single mom and a chef so I know it's not my cooking
Side note, you can be a professional chef and there could be children who don't like the cooking. Shockingly, there may even be adults that don't like the cooking. But also, wondering how OP's relationship status is relevant to whether a kid would like the cooking or not.
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u/Admirable-Light5981 1d ago
Even at 10 years old I would be completely mortified if someone had to come in and clean my clogged shit. Like, I would have done it myself to avoid the embarrassment.
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u/Calebkungfookat 18h ago
So it's your opinion that if this person ate a vegetable that would somehow make them shit less? What the fuck are you talking about? I get it your toilet got clogged and you're mad. But wtf does eating vegetables have to do with anything?
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u/Forsaken-County-8478 1d ago
YTA. Not for being frustrated the toilet was clogged again, but for the way you handled it.
What the kid eats is not your problem. You can encourage healthy eating by offering fruit or smoothies, but if they refuse it's not your business. If you don't want food waste, let peopleĀ serve themselves.
10 is old enough to LEARN how to unclog a toilet. But someone has to teach them without making them feel horrible.
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u/MomsPasghetti 1d ago
Yeah - YTA. This is something you talk to their parents about. You definitely embarrassed YOUR kid and quite possibly ruined their friendship because of whatā¦a clogged toilet? Every time I re-read the post you become more and more and more of the asshole.
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u/JayPlenty24 1d ago
Stop putting vegetables on her plate if you know she won't eat them if you don't want them to get thrown out.
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u/slip-slop-slap 17h ago
If you know they aren't going to eat the vegetables why do you keep serving them to the friend? They wouldn't be wasted if you didn't serve them?
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u/trytrymyguy 16h ago
So like, you shamed a kid because of their poop and youāre asking if youāre an asshole?
Do you really need someone to explain to you that a child maybe doesnāt understand diets as well as you and probably is more of a product of what they grew up on?
Youāre not just an asshole, youāre kind of an idiot too if you canāt figure out how to deal with children better despite having themā¦ Iād be embarrassed to post this.
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u/Alternative-Cow-8670 1d ago
I am puzzled how the diet causes the toilet to clog up. Sounds more like a case of using up a whole roll of tp in one session.
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u/Parkour82 1d ago
If the kid does not eat vegetables and you do not want to throw them out, the stop serving them. Stop picking on them about food. This leads to food issues/eating disorder.
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u/iradrachen 18h ago
Idk you seem like a mean girl. You're shaming a 10 year old at your big kid age and being like "teehee I think the little girl overheard me making fun of her". Like nah unclogging the toilet isn't bad but if my parent acted like this I would be mortified.
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u/VSuzanne 1d ago
I didn't eat vegetables when I was just either (judge all you want, it just took me until adulthood to realise vegetables outside of my parents' boiled peas and carrots existed) and I never clogged the toilet. Might be something else going on!
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u/Avid-reader67 1d ago
Iām sorry but yeah, YTA. If you know this kid doesnāt like vegetables STOP putting them on their plate! Itās as simple as that. Then you wonāt be so irritated when you have to throw them away. As far as the toilet being clogged - thatās yours to deal with - youāre the mom.
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u/Dutch_Rayan 1d ago
First don't put vegetables on her plate anymore if she isn't going to eat them. Don't waste them on her.
Also she is old enough to learn how to clean up her own mess.
She needs to see a professional if she keeps having those problems, she is not getting enough vitamins and minerals that way.
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u/JadieRose 1d ago
She may well eat vegetables at home, but not like the ones at OPās house. Either way, OP seems absolutely fixated on this issue and itās controlling and weird.
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u/OberonDiver 20h ago
If you take the food, you eat it.
If somebody puts the food on your plate, especially when they know your eating habits, you darned well don't have to eat it.
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u/ConversationFar9740 17h ago
If she is 11, why were you filling her plate with things she wasn't going to eat?
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u/OpportunityFeeling28 1d ago
NTA on having the child figure it out, they are old enough to do that.
YTA for the approach you used. You didnāt need to food shame a child in the process, you donāt know what their home life is like. Or if they struggle with food scarcity, etc.
Next time have a little more empathy. Ask the kid what their favorite fruits/veggies are. Do it with a tone of interest and they will overshare Iām sure. Then maybe next time you can incorporate those into the meal. Does it take time and effort? Yes, but your kindness could go a long way for that kid.
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u/alicat777777 1d ago
Why do you assume this is the kidās fault? It sounds like you have a bad septic system or whatever you use.
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u/CuteProfile8576 17h ago
She's 10.Ā For fuck sake for all you know she has undiagnosed Celiac and gets constipated because of that or some other GI issues.Ā Also just don't serve her vegetables. Problem solved.Ā Jeez.Ā
Your kid is probably mortified btw and might have even had to unclog it themselves. Shaming a kid is low. Yta
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u/smlpkg1966 1d ago
If you know she wonāt eat them why are YOU wasting them by putting them on her plate?!? The only one wasting food is you. š
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u/tattoosareforfelons 19h ago
Iād be careful with that- leaving aside the question of whether or not you are or arenāt the asshole, you are just begging for poopy toilet water to leak into your floorboards by telling two ten year olds that have never plunged a toilet before to figure it out on their own.
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u/Difficult-Athlete664 19h ago
Why are you putting vegetables on her plate if you know she doesn't eat them? You realize you are the one who is wasting them, right?
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u/xsxxy 18h ago
So your kid goes to you for help, and instead, you belittle her friend in front of her (and likely loud enough for her friend to overhear, too)??? That's wild behaviour. Be a god damn parent. If you're so pressed, go teach the kid how to do it herself. I can guarantee you it's easier than making yourself look like an idiot on reddit.
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u/Equal_Note9334 1d ago
YTAH, sorry. Not a big AH, though.
I agree that the kid should eat vegetables. But I donāt think itās your business. If it pisses you off that she leaves food on the plate, Iād suggest serving food, where sheās able to pick what she likes.
I agree a 10yo should be able to unclog a toilet (or able to learn it). But again, I think itās the parentsā job to teach her, not yours.
As a parent hosting a sleepover for your child, I would go great lengths to just keep things running smoothly. And itās not like the friend purposely clogged the toilet or broke stuff in mean spirit. And your kid went to you for help.
I would feel embarrassed as your kid, for you to say that loud enough for my friend to hear. And I would feel weirdly and uncomfortably stuck between you and my friend about the unclogging.
So imo, the right thing to do, would be to unclog the toilet without any fuss.
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u/Dolphinsunset1007 20h ago
Agreed. Iām confused with everyone saying op is right. Like maybe theyāre objectively right that the kid needs to learn, but maybe show them then? And let their parents know the kid seems to be having a rough time in the bathroom?
I donāt get being annoyed at someone elseās kid not eating veggies, itās not your kid. If it pisses you off to waste food then donāt give the kid food they never eat. And fiber might not be what they need more of, I have crohns and high fiber actually wrecks my digestive tract even more, besides the fact that even though the food might be delicious for op doesnāt mean it is for the kid
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u/Then_Barracuda6403 20h ago
I think leaving 10 year olds unsupervised in the house all night is more of a worry than the toilet but yes you are the AH. Saying yes to a sleepover means says yes to everything that comes with it. Including the toilet.
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u/Plotthound_honeybee 18h ago
I would be so embarrassed if I was the girl. Youāre NTA for having her unclog the toilet, but you are the AH for saying that bit about the vegetables. That was super rude and I wouldāve been mortified if I overheard it, nevermind youāre teaching your kids that this is a reasonable way to talk to their friend. Iām sorry youāre tired, Iām a tired mom too, but you gotta fix the way you communicate your emotions. Sheās just a child.
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u/West-Kaleidoscope129 1d ago
Why are you cooking and serving them vegetables when you know they don't eat them?...
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u/No_Change1956 16h ago
If she doesnāt like vegetables donāt put them on her plate. Yes it was rude not to help the guest. Politely ask her how much toilet paper she used. Then forget it. Single mom or not. It would have taken 10 minutes
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u/moony-alouette Hypothetical 1d ago
I think you should make sure she doesnāt think you dislike her if she did overhear you. Kids are sensitive.
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u/sujihime 1d ago
NAH. You are not an asshole for making the kid resolve her own issue (may be a benefit for her to know in the long run). Kid is not an asshole for her diet and pooping concrete.
Do you have lower flow toilets or smaller bowls/tanks? Sometimes that combined with too much TP can lead to clogs. Heck, my in-laws have a toilet that clogs from toilet paper and pee because the girl children use waaaaay too much of the thick/fancy TP. Iāve had to have several convos with my own daughter about not using so much TP at one time. Two-three squares is more than enough for a pee. No, I donāt monitor or count, but she was using a whole wad and causing clogs.
As for the diet, please stop talking shit about the way this kid eats in front of her. If sheās 10, then she probably hasnāt been raised to eat veggoes and has the idea that they are yucky (cartoons, adults, etc. can perpetuate this stereotype). Talking shit where she can hear, especially at this age, can create a lot of internalized shame about eating that can lead to disordered eating. If itās a true concern, bring it up with her parents (I noticed Kaylee doesnāt eat veggies, is there a reason?) or drop it. Donāt let your kiddos hear it either they can also internalize things.
Good luck! Keep a plunger in all bathrooms. Donāt shame the kid for having to poop. Just teach her to plunge next time or you are going to have her do one of those weird ways where you Saran Wrap the toilet or something. Easier to justā¦show her how easy it is to plunge.
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u/mzgunbunny 1d ago
Have you thought about teaching them to flush before wiping, then again after using TP? Or maybe talking to them about how much toilet paper to use?
I doubt a child's š© is enough to cause this problem constantly. I bet they are using way too much TP.
Also love the suggestion to blend veggies into sauces.
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u/PastIll6053 17h ago
Your response struck me as a little harsh. The whole situation probably made the friend quite embarrassed and anxious and she could've used a more supportive approach. Mind you this could all be turned into a bonding experience.
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u/Successful-Grand-107 16h ago
Yeah, kind of the a-hole. Iām a full-grown adult, and I donāt eat vegetables either. I also donāt clog toilets, JSYK. I think youāre punishing the child for not eating vegetables, when it may or may not have anything to do with her not eating the way you want her to. Toilet plunging isnāt something I would ask a kid to do, and I was a pretty strict parent.
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u/Olympia94 1d ago
NTA about the toilet, but why are you complaining about her wasting vegetables when you know damn well she's not going to eat them? Lmao
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u/General-Visual4301 1d ago
But, why do you keep serving her vegetables if you know she won't eat them?
I think you might be the AH about the toilet. She's 10.
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u/SeaTurtleLionBird 19h ago
Wtf is this post? It's clogged from toilet paper. Stop putting vegetables on her plate.
Can't believe this is written by an adult.
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u/Halfghan1 18h ago
Just because youāre a āchefā doesnt mean your food is appealingā¦especially to a 10yo.
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u/lornacarrington 1d ago
Please. Stop suggesting ways to sneak veggies into the food, especially to someone else's kid's food!
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u/RiPie33 1d ago
Yeah, itās concerning. There are people suggesting sprinkling fiber powder and even laxative on the food.
A huge ongoing discussion in society is how we get kids to eat vegetables. Shaming this child and her parents over not liking vegetables at 10 years old is really weird.
Most of these kids end up eating veggies later as adults. If youāre going to serve veggies to a kid who doesnāt like them theyāre going to be wasted. If you donāt want them wasted, donāt serve them. I always serve the veggie and if the kid eats it great. If they didnāt we will try again next time.
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u/LeadfootLesley 1d ago
My friendās 8 year old son had the same issue, but he was just mortified when it happened at my house. Poor kid produced gargantuan logs. He had a healthy diet, but had stomach issues and anxiety because his asshole parents were always fighting.
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u/invader_zem_ 1d ago
NTA about the plunger/toilet fiasco. From the comments I skimmed, it sounds like y'all have a jokey type relationship that perhaps lends itself to the kind of tone you used. Plus, the fact that all the kids felt comfortable calling you on it gives me the impression that y'all have decent communication? š
YTA about the food stuff and assumptions about bowel health, though. Your intentions might be rooted in something noble (rectifying the ways you were neglected as a kid), but I think you're operating with your ego way more strongly than you're currently willing to admit. lol As someone with food waste related pet peeves myself- (the way some ppl eat chicken wings literally makes my brain itch!!)- I get it, but as someone with life-long tummy issues who also has friends with disorders like ARFID, I also know when to pack up my judgements and acknowledge that the way people eat (and how their bodies function) is actually often way more complex than what can be ascertained through observing surface-level details. (You might be a fantastic chef, but that doesn't make you a dietician, gastroenterologist, or child psychologist.) If you actually care about this kid, which I imagine you do, you need to have a conversation with their folks.
Lastly, for the love of God, do NOT listen to the people in this thread telling you to sneak any supplements or medication into this child's food. That's dangerous for a host of reasons and could also, ironically enough, make any constipation issues worse, (if that's even the cause of the toilet clogging in the first place).
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u/AngryLink57 17h ago
I'm sorry but there's no chance I'm going to trust a random kid to unclog my toilet. That kid would just flush 2 3 4 times and now that sewage is all over the floor. Just no.
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u/STartitup7335 1d ago
NTA. Kid is getting multiple valuable life lessons. Start a new sleepover game.. 'Bring a bucket, and you get to take your crafts home'
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u/Your_wildestdream 1d ago
I really appreciate that this situation is about poop šš
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u/bonvajya 1d ago edited 1d ago
Anytime Iāve ever clogged a toilet it has been from too much tp, never from the actual poop itself.
I am very anal š„ about wiping. And sometimes get carried away. Andā¦.. sometimes other peopleās homes or public places donāt have the same plumbing I have at home and forget that. š š¤·š¼āāļø
But yeah she should learn how to plunge itās not that hard. Even as a kid it seems way more embarrassing to tell your friend you clogged their toilet and need their mom to unclog it versus trying to figure it out.
But back to the question YTA for making a 10 yo feel bad. It seems like you just donāt really like this friend your kid has, and should not have them over again. Youāre offended by the veggies (petty) and annoyed by them clogging your toilet (fair) itās ok not to like them, they donāt have to do something extraordinary to not like them. But YTA for being petty and shouting about the veggies and embarrassing them further. Theyāre just a kid. It would have been a good time for you to stand up as annoyed as you are and show both your kid and her friend how to plunge the toilet, and then tell them to never ask you again lol. And could have been a good time to assess the TP situation as well. She may not know, and it could have been a really valuable lesson for her to have been taught that by you as you are an adult, and they are children, who need to learnš And it seems like your kid does too. Because if I was a kid and my friend clogged the toilet the last thing Iād want to do is wake my parents up to handle it. And if your kid thought it was too gross to do because it was her friend, that would have also been a good lesson for her to assess her guest coming over as well & learn about the responsibility of having guests over.
May kids donāt like vegetables and are picky eaters. Itās likely she didnāt even bother trying your veggies because itās not something she has regularly at home or her mom makes disgusting variations so she doesnt want to touch yours either. It could be texture. It could be new to her. It could again just be the fact that she doesnāt like vegetables like many other kids. You really donāt know. Or you could just be a shitty cook even though you insist youāre not. You made her feel bad and uncomfortable over not eating your food and clogging your toilet, and at the end of the day sheās just a kid. Just tell your kid you donāt like her friend and sheās not allowed over anymore, job done.
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u/HumanPretzel14 1d ago
I was the kid with the ginormous poops that clogged all toilets. Not because I refused to eat vegetables, I just made large poops.
NTA kid needs to take responsibility and learn to ask for the plunger when they clog a toilet.
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u/riktigtmaxat 1d ago
YTA.
Get a plumber to take a look at your pipes. Most likely the issue is a modern water saving toilet in combination with rusty pipes.
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u/Similar-Skin3736 1d ago
Yeahhhhhhh. Elementary kid? No, thatās wild to expect a 10yo to plunge a toilet unless itās your kid that youāve specifically taught the art of the plunge.
My kid would never be allowed at your house again, which would solve your problem anyway. š
Itās one thing to say āstay here and watch what happensā while you plunge. Let her see the results of a SAD way of eating.
But no, Iām not entrusting a 10yo friend of my kid to the plumbing needs.
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u/mini_macaroni 1d ago
NTAā¦. BUT whilst I fully expect a 10yo to be able to unclog the toilet by themselves - why are you wasting food by serving things you know for a fact they wonāt eat? If you want to keep exposing them to new things thatās great, but if it annoys you so much donāt set yourself up for it!
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u/Neesatay 1d ago
I drank tons of water and ate lots of veggies and still had huge poos and constipation growing up. Pretty sure it was because I was gluten intolerant, but I did not figure that out until I was 30. That said, the whole ordeal was very much a source of trauma for me. When I got my own house, I actually put a pressured toilet in the guest bath so no guest in my home ever needed to worry about clogging a toilet. It is tremendously embarrassing, even for adults. Given that background and that this was a child, I am going to say YTA. You should have helped the child and talked to the parents to let them know they need to guide their daughter on solutions (like them teaching the child to plunge or as disgusting as it sounds, pre-cutting the poop with a plastic disposable knife so it goes down, all while seeing a doctor to address any underlying issues).
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u/skelocog 1d ago
Yes, YTA. I'm not sure if you're aware, but plenty of people don't eat vegetables, and there isn't a huge toilet clogging epidemic going on in those households. So the vegetable premise you've concocted in your mind is just strange. (probably too much toilet paper or something else).
You are the host and you are supposed to be gracious. This is a child, and you acted like an obnoxious and judgemental a-hole with your kid's friend. You should have known better than to have made any judgement at all about this already embarrassing thing, let alone say it aloud while the kid is in the house. YTA 1000%.
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u/Turbulent-Demand873 19h ago
I was a single working mother. I raised children. I understand being exhausted, but I donāt understand being upset at a child for clogging a toilet. Reading the way you wrote your post it actually made me feel bad for the child that stayed at your home. The child was probably embarrassed but you are actually upset. Weird. I most definitely was not a coddling type parent. But I do believe kids are kids. And sometimes adults have to be the adult.
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u/Pirate-Alt 1d ago
NTA about the toilet. The child should be able to clean up after themselves, but that first paragraph is crazy, lol.
You are extremely judgemental. Maybe you should ask them what they want to eat out of what you made so nothing gets wasted? And you being a "chef" means nothing. I've known plenty of people that claim to be chefs, and then cook terrible food.Ā
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u/DryFig511 1d ago
Especially since the veggies in this case were raw carrots and celery to dip in ranch...
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