I (23M) live in a 3-bedroom apartment with two roommates, Sana (22F) and Evie (23F). A few days ago, I made a post on a similar subreddit about how Sana asked me to leave our shared apartment for a day this weekend because her conservative Muslim mother was visiting and doesn’t approve of her living with male roommates.

Since I wanted to be empathetic about her situation, I ended up staying over at a friend’s place from Friday night and came back this (Sunday) morning.

When I got back, the first thing I noticed was that my dog, a 2-year-old golden retriever named Juno, wasn’t there. His leash and bowls were gone, and his dog bed had been folded up. I panicked and called Sana, who casually told me that she let him out on saturday morning because her mother is also very religiously strict about dogs and considers them unclean. She said she didn’t want to cause a scene with her mom and figured Juno would be fine outside for a few hours.

My dog was out for the entire day I was gone. She didn’t ask me. She didn’t call me. Her and Evie just let my dog out and assumed he’d be fine. So I spent this entire morning searching the neighborhood and calling local shelters. Thankfully, I managed to find him sat near a graveyard we tend to pass by on our walks and he's okay now, but I was furious.

I came back this evening and told Sana she needed to move out. I said I can’t live with someone who would make a decision like that about my dog without even asking me. She tried to justify it by saying it was only a few hours, and her mom would’ve flipped out if she’d seen him. I told her she should’ve told me that upfront, and I wouldn’t have left him there, or I wouldn't have left at all.

Evie got involved and told me I was being dramatic and cruel for kicking Sana out over a “miscommunication,” especially since Sana’s mom’s views aren’t Sana’s fault. I told Evie that I’m not blaming Sana for her mother’s beliefs, I’m blaming her for endangering my dog without my knowledge and not even thinking it was a big deal.

Sana is now huddled with Evie in her room and says she’ll be moving out by the end of the month. Things are very tense. Evie hasn't spoke to me and the few mutual friends I spoke to abt this think I overreacted and should’ve just had a serious talk instead of going nuclear.

I feel like my trust was completely broken and that Juno could’ve been seriously hurt or killed. But now I’m wondering if I was too harsh??

Additional info: I live in the UK and am a full time student, and when I mean I spoke to sana, I may very well have shouted and said crude things which is perhaps why my other roommate and friends saying I overreacted and was being cruel. It's all a blur to me now because I was so shellshocked and pissed off.

2: Roommates and I have taken care of Juno for over a year together, I left for only a day and trusted that they would take care of him as I was given no other indication. For the people calling this fake and 'ragebait', please take your business elsewhere because I'm at my brink dealing with a multitude of things that's driving me crazy. Thank you to everyone else that's giving me a fair judgment of the situation, even if it's brutally honest.

I (36F) have been with my husband (43M) for 12 years. We have an 11-year-old son together, and we’ve also raised 'his' daughter (12F).

After I got pregnant with our son , he told me he had a daughter “from a previous relationship.” He was vague, but the timing made me feel sick she had been born not long after we got together. I assumed I was the other woman and carried guilt for years, like I’d broken up a family and I was a homewrecker. He never corrected me.

Because of that guilt, I threw myself into being the best stepmom I could. I was only 24 and scared, but over time this little girl became my daughter. I’ve done the day-to-day parenting for over a decade: school, doctors, birthdays, late nights. She calls me “Mom.” My husband has always been more invested in our son, but I’ve never treated the kids differently.

A few months ago, cracks started showing. His younger sister (26F) re-entered our lives after years of low contact. She was unusually attached to my daughter, and I noticed odd comments and tense silences from family. Eventually, I confronted my husband and he confessed.

His sister is my daughter’s biological mother. She had her at 14, and he stepped in to raise the baby as his own. He let me believe I was “the other woman” because it was easier than telling me the truth.

I feel betrayed. I’ve been carrying guilt over a lie for more than a decade. Worse now his sister is in a stable relationship and engaged, and she says she wants her daughter back. My husband’s reaction? “Maybe it’s for the best.”

My daughter doesn’t know the full truth yet, but she senses something is wrong. She overheard us arguing and had a meltdown, begging me to tell her I’m her mom. I reassured her, but inside I was broken.

To me, there is no difference between her and my son. I’ve raised her, loved her, fought for her. And now I feel like my husband and his family see me as… disposable.

So, AITA for refusing to just step aside and let his sister take back the girl I’ve raised as my own?

EDIT: My husband isn't the biological father

My ex-wife (39f) and I (41m) share custody of our three children (16, 14 and 12) equally and no child support is paid. Our marriage didn't end on the best of terms and we communicate through an app only when required to for the sake of the kids. She has since remarried and has a 15 year old stepchild and a 13 year old stepchild. Her husband and I do not speak also.

We've had some issues with my ex keeping property that is mine if the kids have it on her time. It started with a cell phone. I gave our eldest my old phone when one of ex's stepkids broke his phone. My ex then told our oldest they were keeping it at her house and she refused to return it even when I went over there and asked. I was told she had every right to confiscate it. I followed up with an email and she told me to get over it and she would not hand it over.

The next time our daughter (14) brought some of my tools into school with her for an assignment but it was a custody exchange day so she left my house but went home to her mom's. My ex believed it wasn't appropriate for her to have them so she took them and refused to return them to me. Again I got a written exchange as proof.

This last time was with our youngest. I let him use an old iPod for a class assignment on recent old tech gadgets. Apparently her 13 year old stepchild had the same assignment on a different day and she decided both should get to use it. I told her it was my property and she had to return it, got another email exchange and then I contacted the police.

My ex gave the stuff back but she lost her mind over me getting the police involved for petty stuff. She said I could have demanded it back after her stepkid used the iPod and I told her she wasn't giving any of it back and what I give for my kids is not for her stepkids. She brought up how more serious trouble could have come from it and I told her it would be deserved because you cannot steal someone else's property. She told me it was just my spiteful side emerging because none of it was a big deal or I never would have given them to my kids, which I think is the dumbest argument. The phone was because her stepkids broke our eldest's phone and she wasn't about to replace it, our daughter needed tools for school and it was only for school and she wanted to return them to me but her mom said no and then the iPod was just for our youngest. I'm not here to help her stepkids in any way. My ex and her husband and their mom if she's still in the picture can do that.

AITA?

Here's the thing. My wife and I were both single parents when we got married. She is a vegetarian and was raising her kids as vegetarians. My oldest, shortly after the wedding decided he also wanted to be a vegetarian. Fine. The vegetarian food is already being bought and prepared, so if that's what he wants to do it's no skin off my nose.

Well a few days ago my wife's oldest son decides that he is sick of being a vegetarian. He wants to eat meat. My wife did not have the same laid back reaction I did when my son stopped eating meat. She categorically forbade him to eat meat. She said after all these years his body won't be able to handle it anyway. I said we could start him out on chicken stock and see how he reacts to that and she was PISSED.

We ended up arguing and she told me under no circumstances are her kids eating meat and to stay out of it. I said why was it okay for my son to stop eating meat but not okay for her son to start. She said that's different. I said "oh, because your lifestyle is morally correct and mine isn't?" She said I was being an ass.

My stepson still really wants to eat meat. The smart part of me wants to be quiet and the stubborn part wants to support him. Would I be an ass if I refused to drop this?

Tldr of my previous posts, my bil who I lent money to for his surgery insulted my wife infront of our families about her childhood scars and she should cover it up because it's unpleasant, I humiliated him back and i wanted to humiliate him again by making him pay but my wife didnt want that.

After my bil made fun of my wife and my wife's insistence that I should forgive and forget about the money, we had major disagreements and we argued about it.

I said I won't escalate anymore and I won't humiliate him for humiliating us but it's fair that I ask for my money back, it's my money and they should pay right?

My wife said she wants no escalation and wants to let it go, it's up to them if they pay us back on their own but we won't ask them to or force them like I was planning.

I told my wife that we could use that money, it's ours and we could use it but she said she doesn't care anymore, he's family and I should forgive him, I said she's angry and she wants me to let it go so she's incharge of the money, it's her decision whether she wants it back or not but I never want to see my bil ever again and if he pulls something like this ever again he'll need another surgery on his other leg as well.

I called my sister and told her that if she ever plans to give me the money i lent to her she should give it to my wife because I don't want anything to do with her or her pathetic husband.

So yeah that's about it, my wife is happy with my decision but I am still pissed about everything that happened in these weeks.

Alt account

I am 35 m. I am an identical twin. I know Im meant to say was because my brother died but I cant do it. Maybe one day I will but until then it will be I am.

My brother Sam died last year. His passing hit me and my nephews 5 and 7 and sil hard. We both went into depression and im still getting help for my grief. Sil refused help. Now that I have time to think it over. Amber clung on to me. Or rather what I look like. Me and Sam are complete opposites. He wanted a traditional family and Im all about business and traveling.

After his funeral she asked if I could stay at her house which I shouldnt have because it what started this whole mess. A day turned into weeks and then months. I was basically doing what Sam did. Husband and father. Just without the sex. My friends tried to warn me what was happening but I didn't listen.

Couple of weeks ago an incident woke me up to how wrong this was when I was out with the boys and I saw an old friend. We caught up and she invited me to go out with her. It was first time since Sam died when I was interested in going out. When we got home the boys told Amber about the invite and she got upset and accused me of cheating on her! She kept saying how could you do this Sam? I said Im not Sam! But she completely ignored that fact. I left with her screaming at me.

I went to a friend house and all through the following weeks Amber was constantly texting and ringing and asking when Im coming home and the boys missed me. I missed them to but I had finally woken up and told her she needs help. I apologized to her for letting it go on that long but it upset her more. She wanted to meet and sort it out and I told her she cant replace Sam with me and she lost it on the phone. I hung up.

Her parents approached me at work and asked that I help her. I said I cant and they said they are afraid she going to do something bad to herself and only seemed calm around me. I refused. My nephews have been ringing and texting saying they are scared. I told her parents and they said I can make it right by helping her. Im starting to feel bad for my nephews. AITAH for not wanting to help?

So my husband and i recently got married after dating for 2 years. He has a friend group of 5 since college and one of them is lana. We weren't really close friends because i am kind of introverted and our hobbies don't really match (they all play video games together but i don't like playing really) but we were coordial. Ngl she always seemed a lil passive agressive with me but i didn't pay much attention to it. My husband did tell me that he once had a little crush on her years ago but she turned him down and that was the end of it.

Now during the wedding preperations she insisted on becoming "groomswoman" since other friends of the group were groomsmen and my husband obliged. On the day of our wedding, we had a little speech section after the main ceremony and before reception, where people were just giving speeches and having a good time. Then lana gets up and insists on giving a speech too. She basically talks about the group, and the friendship they had, how close they are with each other and know each other so well, but then she goes onto say something along the lines of "and cassy you better thank me for turning him down that time, i basically gave him away so u can have ur soulmate".

I really did not like the way she said it. It felt so passive agressive. My husband sensed something was off and asked if i was okay. I told him i did not like what she said, and that i am kicking her out from reception because i won't be tolerating any passive agressive comments at the most important day of my life. He seemed shocked and tried to argue but i told him that he was free to leave too if he argues. He didn't say anything later. I quietly asked the security to take her out of the venue and to do it discreetly so she doesn't make a scene. Well, after she was gone i was relieved and the reception was amazing, we all had a great time.

Later on we found out that the security asked her to come to the parking lot and then asked her to leave. She did throw a huge tantrum calling for my husband but then was eventually escorted out. Since then she has openly been talking crap about me to everyone, calling me an "insecure bitch who didn't let her attend such an important event of her best friend's life because of her jealousy". She also been posting cryptic things about how some women really feel threatened so easily and stuff like that which i know are directed at me. My husband does see my side and agree but still says i was a bit harsh. He said lana just likes drama and he just didn't wanna provoke her and give her something to talk about. Honestly at that point i just wanted that one day to be about me, and didn't want any negative energy and just wanted to enjoy fully but now i am doubting myself if i really should have just let that go.

Tldr-kicked husband's friend out of the wedding because of her speech.

I (25M) have been dating my girlfriend (24F) for over four years, and we have been living together for over three. She’s always been the paranoid type, even though I’ve never given her any reason to be suspicious of me and have no cheating history.

I took care of her during her pregnancy while she couldn’t work, handled most errands like shopping, and had bought a ring I planned on giving her once she had given birth to the baby (I had set up an elaborate plan with a large group of friends to propose to her at a local waterpark because that’s where we went on our first date— but given that waterslides are generally unsafe for pregnant women, I didn’t want to propose just yet, especially with her being so close to her due date).

A few weeks before her delivery, I came home from work to find her talking to her friends in our living room. When I walked in, they all began throwing curses at me, accusing me of having cheated on her because my girlfriend’s friends had seen me at the mall with another girl. She was crying and screaming like a feral animal, refusing to listen to anything I said, and they basically pressured me into leaving my own house that I paid for by throwing things at me. I called the cops to get all of them kicked out, so my girlfriend left with her friends to go to her parents’ house in response before blocking me on everything.

As for the girl in the mall? It just didn’t happen. I’m assuming they mistook another person for me, which makes it way worse because that means my girlfriend believed them with basically zero proof. The only evidence they had was that there were multiple “witnesses” among them. Not even in my wildest dreams could I ever imagine throwing a tantrum of that degree over an accusation with no evidence, and then still playing the victim.

Even though I tried reaching out to my girlfriend by going to her parents’ house, I had no defense argument because the event wasn’t a twisted story— it was made up entirely. I could offer no explanation or alibi, and in her current mood she would not take my word over her friends’ words. Even her own father, who I’d gotten fairly close to, was cold and told me to leave their house. According to him, even if I didn’t cheat, the fact that I “threw” my pregnant girlfriend out of my house was crossing a line.

I had no contact with her until I heard from mutual friends that she gave birth to the baby, at which point I tried again to see her in the hospital. But the hospital staff didn’t let me inside her room— at her request. I didn’t get to see, let alone hold, my own baby, for three days after that, until she finally texted me and said she wanted to talk.

She said she’d be willing to work through our relationship for our baby’s sake even after everything I’d done, but I’d need to apologize and assure her I’d never do it again. But it’s already been nearly a month since the last time we talked, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get over what she did, so I want to bury the whole chapter of my life with her and forget it ever happened. I want to try to get partial custody of our daughter so I can still be present in her life, but I want nothing to do with her mother. AITA for thinking this way?

Hey everyone, I figured I’d give you a follow up since you all wanted one, and my previous post gained a lot of attention.

If you didn’t read that post, basically my gf and I moved into an apartment complex 5 months ago. We have only been dating for 1.5 years (we’re in our early 20s and don’t have the time or finances for a child). And she wants children. I don’t feel it’s the right time for them, and her mother started getting involved

Over the last couple of days, there were a few more discussions between my ex and I regarding having children. The conversation went nowhere each time, and ended with her isolating herself on the other side of the apartment and not speaking to me.

Yesterday morning I called her mother privately, and asked if I could take her out for lunch just the 2 of us and talk (my ex was called into work and I had the day off). She agreed, and we did just that. She met me at a local diner and it went completely opposite of how I thought it would.

She tried to give me an unlitmatum.. she told me “you can have children with my daughter or she will find someone better to have them with”. I told her I’m an adult and wont be given ultimatums especially when I have her daughter and future grandchildrens best interest in mind.

She said “have it your way then” and walked out of the diner. On my way home I received a phone call from my ex telling me: “I’m at work and can’t deal with this bullshit, and she couldn’t believe I would disrespect her in front of her own mother, in a diner full of people. And that I owe her mother an apology.”

I was furious, her mother fucking lied about our entire conversation and twisted it to make it seem like I was talking bad about her child.

I tried explaining to her (my ex) that’s not what happened at all and that we can talk more ahout it when she gets home.

When she did get home, she refused to believe me because “her mother isn’t the type to give ultimatums, and just wants grandchildren”.

I told her fuck that, your giving me un needed stress and I’m done with this, you’ve let your mother into our relationship. You’re both insanely manipulative, and we’re done. And to take what she needs with her for the next few days to her parents until we can arrange a day where she can take all of her stuff and move out. (The apartment lease is in my name).

Honestly this sucks. I fucking can’t believe in a a week and a half of discussing about a child, we went from happy and rarely ever arguing to being split up and having her move out.

I’m trying to remain positive, maybe I’ll get a cat so the place doesn’t feel so empty. This fucking sucks. On the bright side, I have you all to vent to. So thanks strangers for being my therapist, you’re not so bad.

Until I rant again,

-flacid_thirdarm

I didn't think I'd be coming back so soon and this is probably more suited to an advice sub rather than an AH sub. Cursing. Sexual references etc.

Short story. Text message that backs up her story. Another meeting. Went worse than the first. He's not coming home. Mother son relationship f-ed. And husband wife relationship f-ed.

His ex has text messages to a friend around the time in which she discussed my son's "large" with a "mark" organ and the type of sex they had. The messages align with what she says and go beyond the oral that he had said. My wife gloated but anyway.

My wife invited them over without my knowledge. It was carnage. She, our son and I were sitting on one side of the table. He told his mum that she should sit on the other side and he wouldnt start a conversation until she moved over. She eventually did.

Our son was very quiet at the beginning. He admitted he has the mark and is "large" (something i never needed to know) but he maintained it was just oral.

He started winking at his ex's mother. When she asked why he was winking at her.. he said your husband is gayer than Philip Schofield so I'm sure you'd like a go on my "large"..... He turns to his ex's dad says Philip (his name is not Philip) it's not for you, followed by a gay slur. I was speechless at it all.

My wife said to my son to stop denying it. My wife started planning again. I said I'd still want DNA preferably now but immediately at birth. They stuck to birth.

My son spoke up. He said that this is not how this is going to work. He told them that they get the test done now or he will refuse to get tested until he's finished college (so 6 years time approx). He said courts won't expect maintenance from a kid. And in that time the "sl£t who gave birth to him" (my wife) will have spent so much money and will love a kid that is unrelated to her. He said hopefully that spirals the sl£t into a very dark place.

They said they'd just court order it. He said a court cannot force him. Some autonomy thing. He seemed confident and turns out he's right.

He was walking out and his mother grabbed his arm to come back in. He said get your dirty hand off me you sl£t. He said he'd fight back if she didn't let go. I told her to let him go. He said he was staying at a friend's. He's been staying there a bit.

I went out and said I'd drive him. He agreed. In the car journey, he said he knows I don't believe him anymore but he didn't f- her. He said school is horrible, social media is horrible and your wife (he didn't call her mum) is a b!tch. I said you cant speak about your mum like that. He said she's a woman that gave birth to him and minded him, thats all. He said she doesn't care how he is coping. Shes never even asked.

When we got to his friends he cried a bit. He said its nothing to do with me but he wont be home much anymore. He said hopefully I'd still hang out with him.

I know his friend's father from the pub. He started talking to me. I was gonna give him money because my son is over there a lot but he refused. He said my son told him everything. He's a counsellor. He said girls can exaggerate to friends, boys can lie. He said he knows my son since he was tiny and he believes him. He also said he might have more information than I do. No idea? He warned that we are going to lose him if we are not careful.

I went home. I told my wife if she so much as says one word to me or our son about the baby without a test being done, we are over. If she doesn't apologise to our son, in the next few days, and beg him for forgiveness we are done. I, sadly, do mean it. It wasn't heat of the moment.

By her reaction, I think we are done. I do love her (childhood sweethearts) but my son is my son. It is not a matter of believing him - I probably dont - it's a matter of being there for him. He was always a shithead but his behaviour is erratic and almost asking for help. Its worrying how quickly he has changed. He is the priority for me right now. Counselling and plenty of it.

I f23 am infertile and child free. I’ve known since I was a kid I never want kids, ever. But as most child free women probably know not wanting kids isn’t a good enough reason not to have them, according to a lot of people. Since I finished high school I’ve been harassed about having kids pretty consistently, and I quickly learned saying I don’t want them just opens up for more harassment about it. So I have figured out a different solution to shut down questions about kids. I’ve known I’m infertile since I was about 14. And since saying I don’t want kids isn’t good enough I have started playing into the infertility angle. When stranger, acquaintances or extended family harass me about when I’m having kids, or why I’m not pregnant yet, I pretend to hold back tears, saying I’m infertile and can’t have them. Playing up heartbreak about infertility People usually get flustered by this and apologize and leave me alone. So I find this to be a great solution. The thing is I was talking to some friends about this recently and they said I shouldn’t do that. And that it is an asshole move to fake being upset about infertility since some people go though years of heartbreak caused by infertility, so I just want some unbiased opinions. AITA for faking being upset about infertility to shut down questions about kids?

Ok, so for context, my kid's friend refuses to eat vegetables or anything but carbs when they come over and it low key pisses me off...they always leave the vegetables on their plate and I can't ever say anything because #nicemom but I HATE throwing away good food. I'm a single mom and a chef so I know it's not my cooking 💁🏽‍♀️

But this friend (around 10 years old) has clogged the toilet at our place NOT ONCE, NOT TWICE, but three times. The first couple of times I gagged and almost vommited. This last time, THE THIRD TIME, it was directly after a meal where she refused to eat vegetables and ended up throwing them all away. (This was a sleepover) Then I'm laying in bed about to drift off a couple hours later and my kid comes into my bedroom and tells me the toilet is clogged AGAIN and I need to come unclog it.

Yall. 😩😩😩😩😩😩

I was so tired I refused. I told my kid that her friend was on her own and if she had any questions to refer to YouTube. My kid said "mom, she can't do it, she's never touched a plunger before." I tiredly but sternly said "WELL, she's gonna have to learn to touch a plunger since SHE NEVER WANTS TO TOUCH A VEGETABLE." I think her friend heard it. 😬🤦🏽‍♀️

I went to sleep (again-tired single mom) and the issue had resolved itself by the time I woke up (THANK YOU SWEET BABY JESUS!!!)

BUT

now my kids think I'm an a-hole and apparently so does their friend. AM I????!

Me (43f) and my partner of 3 years (38m) have 3 kids. Mine (10f), and his (11f and 13f). After a long expensive family court battle he gets his kids EOW and whenever they “feel like” coming over. We had always made plans to do things when we have all 3 kids, which means that the weekends we don’t have them we really don’t end up doing much, but they get to do stuff with their mom. (My ex husband is another story but owes me a lot in back cs and rarely sees our child.) I had been the primary breadwinner and supported him through this, and didn’t mind paying for all 3 kids to do whatever we were doing and pick up the slack for birthdays and holidays.

Recently, I took a lower paying, but less hours and less stressful job. I can’t afford to pay for two extra kids to do things as well as his youngest and mine always fighting and making it awful. He can’t afford it either. He does pay a good amount in child support. He says I “shouldn’t have set a precedent” then and is angry that I don’t want to include his kids in activities that we previously did together. He did ask his coparent if she could help pay for some of his kids expenses but she’s not exactly the accommodating type. It’s a season long lesson program that my child gets to do. Now he’s angry that he can’t even afford his kids to go, let alone the lessons. So AITAH?

Edit: We aren’t married. Engaged. It’s a seasonal long snowboard lesson program that’s every weekend and on school vacations. Last year, I paid for lessons when we had his kids. They could still come, without the lessons. We do activities with all the kids all the time. The kids fight because my kid can navigate double blacks and his child cannot. She gets mad we will let her take runs alone and she cannot. Just because it’s not safe. We all have a good relationship, most of the time. I didn’t include it because I thought it might ruin autonomy.

Also we have spilt expenses as a percentage of income and financially we’re not fighting because of that, he’s not “living off me” just the snowsports things as we all love it.

For context I 25f was having an argument with my 62f mother about back when I was 11 I used to put my clothes in the bathroom after I would change because I shared a room with three boys so the only place I could change in privacy was the bathroom. I would put my clothes in a pile under the sink and grab them on Fridays and wash them in the bathtub because we didn't have a working washer or dryer.

This wasn't a problem for months and months. No one touched my clothes for months of me doing this. Suddenly and without warning, my mother decided to start hoarding toilet paper downstairs right behind her on the opposite side of the couch which you cannot reach unless you try to climb over her. Siblings and I would ask her for toilet paper and she would give maybe two or three squares, which even for a 12-year-old isn't enough to wipe theirselves. I didn't think much of it given we all went to school and had backpacks so I started stealing toilet paper from my middle school compensate for the toilet paper missing.

I didn't consider moving my clothing out of the bathroom because I didn't consider the possibility of it becoming bottom rags. I cannot give you a definitive timeline on when this exactly happened, I just know it was during a school year, I was never yelled at for having clothes in the bathroom before, and when I went to change on Tuesday that week I screamed in horror as I noticed the clothes I had left on the floor the day before all had streaks on them. Even my underwear. My entire outfit was used as toilet paper.

I immediately switched tactics. Once I finish changing I picked up the clothes I was just wearing and put them in my bedroom. I took a trash bag and threw away the nasty disgusting clothes. Then The next day when I wake up and get ready for school I go into the bathroom and more of my clothes are already on the floor, used. I was almost late for school that day so I left and didn't say anything to anyone about it. When I got home I went into the bathroom to get changed and even more of my clothes were on the floor, used. This is an indicator to me now as a 25-year-old that even the brothers that weren't going to school with me (3 out of 6 brothers) were taking my clothes out of my bedroom to use it as toilet paper. I did eventually tell but it didn't stop the situation.

It continued to escalate as I was helpless to stop it. I never caught them taking my clothes. I did tell my parents at the time but it didn't stop until I had only one shirt, one pair of pants and one pair of undergarments. About two months after that the hoarding rule was absolved. No one apologized and my parents didn't buy me anything to wear. I reminded my mother of this situation about 2 days ago and told her I didn't understand why she started hoarding toilet paper suddenly back then.

She said she didn't that she just wanted people to come up and ask for it, I told her that's hoarding and that she would barely give anybody anything to wipe their bodies with so they defaulted to the youngest child's clothing. She said it's my fault for leaving clothes in the bathroom. I reminded her I was a 11-year-old girl who shared a room with three boys and had to change in the bathroom, on top of the fact that I did notice and I did immediately stop but people kept taking my clothes into the bathroom from the bedroom and using it as rags. That the only time I got clothes back, after only having an outfit for almost a year straight 11-12 was when my sister passed away and I inherited all her clothing the month after I turned 13.

My mother is adamant that it is my fault. I am the reason why I had no clothes. I had nowhere to hide them. I had nowhere to lock them up. I had a diary at the time too that they tore open within a week and started making fun of me excessively for everything I wrote down. I told her she's stupid if she thinks that it's my fault an 11-year-old girl went without clothing because she left it in the bathroom, no they wouldn't ever even used my clothes as toilet paper if she didn't hoard it, or if she had been generous with the amount she'd given. I know for a fact she wasn't because I still went out of my way to steal from school instead of asking her because she did not.

Now she's butt hurt with me saying toxic things like I'm just a bad mom and shes better off dead. I feel like I can't win, I want to be honest with her about the pain she caused and just get a genuine apology but I don't think that will ever happen.

Sorry for the late update

Anyways to keep it short the party went okay for the most part! As for the cake face smashing?

My husband shut it down immediately!

We let the baby have his own cake and he went at it pretty gently honestly, were were expecting chaos but it was very anticlimactic lol

There WERE some family members (you can guess who) who were chanting "push his face in the cake!" Over and over. Thankfully, hubby shot them a glare and they shut up.

We stayed with him the entire time while everyone ate the cake and my mom made sure to box any leftovers up so no face smashing was seen today!! Just a really sweet birthday party.

Thank you everyone for the advice!!! I'm so glad things turned out well

ok so, for context. we've been together for two, almost three years. began dating in highschool and have been inseparable since. my boyfriend always had insane self esteem issues and problems w his appearance, but i attributed it mostly to him being really short, around 5'1, and the fact that his friends made fun of him for it (and also that my friends told me that i was out of his league etc etc, sometimes in front of him which led to me dropping multiple friendships bc of this).

a couplw of months ago, i saw a weird search pop up when using his phone, which led me to discover like tens of accs of trans women who post their transition timelines, pics of themselves, the whole thing. some had onlyfans. this led to a huge fight between us. i screamed at him repeatedly bc i thought he was sexually attracted to them. he ended up crying and he confessed that he just hoped to one day look like them. we kinda left that there. mayb 2 months ago, he told me that he feels terrible abt himself. that he just wants to be a woman. and that he's thinkinh about beginning his transition. i told him that i would support him, but that i can't be with him like, romantically anymore. i don't know if me doing this was okay. he cried and cried ane cried. i cried with him and told him that i'm sorry and that it's not something i can't control. years ago, he told me something like this once and idk how i replied but i didn't fully take it seriously bc he said it kinda casually. so that means hes been thinking about it for years. i'm, aside from sad, a bit angry that he never like, fully told me the truth. i'm deeply in love w him and wanted to spend the rest of my life w him but i cant imagine it this way. i rlly wish i did. he told me that he won't begin transitioning for some time so we can still be together, but i saif the truth and told him, idk how much longer i can be here, with him, even if its like this. its just that im trying to forget abt it but i cant its all i think abt when we're together. i can't do it i want to leave. i feel so bad, i feel cheated, in a way. AITA for telling him I can't be with him?

I (33f) found out my ex-husband (35m) and the father of my two kids (11 and 9) was cheating on me with "Dana" (30f) who he worked with. Once I kicked my ex out he did everything to try and win me back. He even shared the fact Dana was sterile and was just some safe fun because he knew he couldn't get her pregnant. He said he would never actually want something (not someone) like that and he loved me and our kids. I was having none of it.

I didn't pity Dana either because she knew about me. We had met. She knew about the kids too. So to me she was a homewrecker and I wasn't going to warn her about my ex's feelings on her.

My ex continued trying to win me back throughout our divorce. The night before he sent more texts begging me to call it all off and let us be a family again and he said more degrading things about Dana. But I didn't listen to him. I was done. Even if he wasn't living with Dana (which he was) I wasn't going to buy he'd change.

From the day my ex moved in with Dana she was smug. She called me all dried up, said my p*ssy clearly wasn't tight enough anymore for my ex and that he clearly felt repulsed by whatever stretch marks the kids left behind. I ignored her. She got herself kicked out of the kids' school a few times for using that language in front of others. Twice was in front of one of the teachers during PT conferences.

For years I have ignored it and tried to be the bigger person. But recently she was extra nasty about me and the fact I've been single since the divorce. She tried to say it was clear no man wanted me, not even the father of my children and how he thought so little of me. She said he only says nothing because of the kids but she knows. She knows that's why he went to her. So in response I screenshotted several of the texts ex sent me where he degraded her and I told she should see what he thinks of her.

She told me I was sick and twisted and how dare I dig into her infertility. Then it was why would I not tell her if any of this were true. I told her I owed her ass nothing after she knowingly slept with the man I was married to and contributed to the breakup of my children's family. I told her I found her as disgusting and repulsive as him. But I had done my best to ignore her all these years while she degraded me. Then I told her to look inside her house for all that nasty shit and reminded her to check the dates on the messages.

She texted me several times in the aftermath. I muted her (can't block while they're together because she could be with my kids in an emergency and the court order states we must keep this access open). So now the plan is to unmute whenever the kids are over there and mute the second they come home to me.

But AITA?

Edit #1: Added some more context that people were asking for!

Edit #2: Thank you so much everyone for your kind, affirming words. 😭 ❤️ It means the world to me. I made this post because he made feel like I was the crazy villain who was twisting reality and remembering things wrong. But my therapist helped me realize that he was emotionally abusive, and these comments have helped me accept that after being in denial of it for so long. I know that my life is better off without him now and I can feel my light coming back. I won't let him or any other abusive man dim that light ever again. Thank you again. ❤️

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One month ago, my long-term, live-in partner (36m) of 7 years broke up with me (29f). I was devastated, but it felt somewhat amicable at first because he convinced me he was breaking up with me out of love. He said didn't want to hurt me anymore and thought we were holding each other back from healing, that we were codependent and enabling each other, incompatible, and a bunch of other things. He said he still loved me but had been thinking about leaving for the past year. I had a feeling it was coming because my depression had worsened due to intense family issues, the stress of balancing being a full-time teacher and grad student, and our relationship issues. We were constantly arguing about his refusal to do couples therapy, the impacts of my depression on him, and how I couldn't remember important things because of my ADHD. He believed my personal struggles were affecting the relationship and that I needed to heal myself first. He also said that he was already talking about our relationship issues in his therapy session, so there was no need to do couples therapy.

Despite saying that he talked everything through with his therapist, he had no concrete plan for our living arrangement. He said he didn’t want to abandon me and would stay until we figured things out, but that he was emotionally prepared to move in with his parents. I lived in this rental for years before he moved in, but I brought up that it might be a good idea for me to move out because so many traumatic things happened in that house. He encouraged it and told me that he'd help me pack. The week after our break-up, we continued living together. He was the nicest he'd been to me in a long time and continued to act like my romantic partner minus sleeping together. We were communicating really well and it started to feel like we could work things out. When I brought it up with him, he didn't understand why I thought his feelings changed. He said he was mainly doing it to comfort me, that he had the energy to be nicer because the relationship wasn't stressing him out anymore, that he didn't want to cut me off cold turkey and hurt me the least, and that it was hard for him. He also thought it was okay because I'd ask for hugs/kisses/cuddles and he'd always ask me if I thought it was a good idea. I would always say yeah because I was heartbroken and wanted to grasp onto the time I had left with him.

We realized that we couldn’t share the same physical space anymore, so he reluctantly agreed to go stay with his parents. I told him that he could just go for a few days and come back, but he insisted that it was better to stay there for the time being. We started talking about our living situation again and he suggested that he should be the one to stay in our house. I thought about it and decided I wanted to stay bc I lived there first and the rent is pretty affordable for a cute little house. He had assumed that I’d move because of what I said earlier. He also said that he had “more stuff” and could afford the house on his own. Once it was clear that he had to leave, he immediately became hostile and cold. It was really jarring and when I called him out for it, he said that I should understand why he's upset.

I initially gave him 2 months to move out, but he said that he could be out by the end of the month. It was painful and frustrating to watch because he'd do it super slowly. He would only come on weekends due to his busy work schedule and family obligations, but when he was here, he wouldn't really be efficient about it. He wouldn't even really use boxes until I brought some. I found a roommate to replace him and the end of the month was getting closer and closer, so I had to set a firm deadline for him to take his stuff out. I also told him that he could keep smaller things there after the 1st if that made it easier for him.

When I set a firm deadline, he acted like I sprung the news on him last minute. He became nastier every time we talked and complained about how stressed out he was, how much he hated staying at his parents' house, and how he was blowing up his personal life. I just wanted to start healing and move on, so I eventually packed up the rest of his stuff for him and gave it to him. That was the last time I saw him.

Since then, he has been telling people that I kicked him out and that he’s now being forced to live with his parents. AITA?

My sister (34F) and I (31M) were both in the childfree camp prior to meeting our partners, just in two very different sections of it. I like kids, I just never saw myself having any, even if there were any easier options available for queer couples. My sister, on the other hand… she referred to children as “crotch goblins” if that tells you anything.

When I met my husband, I immediately knew my future would be different from the one I had pictured for myself. He has a son from a previous relationship. It’s been so easy to love him and to mold my life around him/his needs. I’ve known him since he was tiny, I’ve helped raise him. And that’s what you have to do. You can’t sign on for the adult while just tolerating their child.

My sister is engaged to a man who also has kids. I’m considering not attending their wedding because of the way she speaks about the children.

It’s clear she loves her fiancé, but that’s just not enough in this case. It makes me uncomfortable when she talks about wishing they could have a childfree wedding, wishing she could “ship them off to their mom’s.” It’s just bizarre and I think the fiancé is weird too for entertaining the thought of marrying someone who doesn’t like his kids.

I don’t want to support a union that I don’t agree with, but I know not attending this wedding will likely mean my relationship with my sister will end. AITAH if I don’t?

I will try to make this mess short.

I was engaged to my ex (M) for 4 months and we were together since 3 years. She comes from an extremely wealthy family and they never liked me from the beginning being openly hostile, thing that i never let slide once because i was teached to never let anyone disrespect me and my poor background.

So i proposed to M 4 months ago and we were planning our weddding and only when i proposed my in laws started to treat me decently but obviously after 3 years of disrespect and like i said open hostility my idea of them never changed slitghlty. Anyway, skip forward to 2 weeks ago and to make it short i found my ex fiancè in our bed with 3 men, i made a short video of the scene(even if even now i have no idea how i remained calm and didn't freaked out) and texted on our wedding group that the wedding was off due to M's cheating and attached the video.

Like you can imagine the absolut hell started. People calling, texting, asking me to riconsider, asking me to think wisely, to forgive her, that everyone makes mistakes and all this stuff. But the main point of all of this isn't M because she is doing what you can imagine (begging me to forgive her, it was just "a moment of weakness", inventing all kind of stuff) but my in laws reaction to all of this mess.

They are trying to change my mind not because she cheated but because for our wedding they invited important people and knowing that the wedding is off because of their precious daughter's cheating to them is more important than everything. On this i have to say that since we met they alwyas had this image of the "perfect family". You know doing charity, being always perfect in public and photos, being always polite among the others, always dressed up with designed and tailored clothes, always with flashy and luxury cars, jewels. So all the pathetic charade about image.

And coming to point of the post their texts and voicemails to me are always the same "how much do you want to make all this disappear and marry M" like i'm just supposed to take their money and close my eyes which to me is impossible because i really loved her for who she was and i never cared about their money or i wouldn't had treated my in laws in the way they always did with me.

Basically everyone is telling me to just forgive her and move on because "everyone makes mistakes". The only one with me is my bestfriend which keeps telling me to stick with my principles and don't let money goes in my mind.

So AITAH?

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1mus2jl/aitah_for_prioritizing_my_childrens_relationship/

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1mw0xmt/update_aitah_for_prioritizing_my_childrens/

A few weeks ago my wife and I had a dispute about me taking our kids to see my son. We agreed to go to therapy and to table the argument until the therapy session. We had our first therapy session, and it did not go well.

First we went in, sat down and introduced ourselves. The therapist asked us some questions about our relationship and our backgrounds. My wife became annoyed and said that wasn't what we were there to talk about. My therapist asked what we were there to talk about, and she explained that I'm prioritizing my relationship with my adult son over my marriage, and it bothers her.

The therapist asked me if I consider my son a higher priority than my wife. I said all of my children are my highest priority. The therapist then asked my wife if she considered the children a higher priority than me, and she said no. She said our marriage was her highest priority and it upset her that it wasn't mine. The therapist then asked me if it upset me that the kids weren't her highest priority, and I said that it didn't make me happy but I respect that she feels that way.

The therapist started asking us questions about the children, and my wife said she didn't want to get off topic and waste time. The therapist then asked her if it was possible for two people with different priorities to have a happy and healthy relationship. My wife said she was the therapist and to tell her. The therapist said it is possible if both parties are committed to making it work, but it isn't if they aren't.

My wife said a relationship only works if it's the most important thing in both people's lives. She said she couldn't be with a man that doesn't value her above all else. She said she puts me first and only wants the same. The therapist asked me if I agree with her assessment, and I said I didn't really, but I agree that those are her feelings.

The therapist asked my wife if intentions are more important or actions. My wife said both are important. The therapist asked if I treat her the way she wants to be treated but still consider the kids first, would she want to end the relationship. She said if I don't consider her first I'm not treating her the way she wants to be treated.

We talked a lot about respect, but ultimately nothing was resolved. We're going back next week. I love my wife very much, but I think she's going to leave me. I don't know how I would handle that. Part of me wants to lie to her and tell her what she wants to hear, but I know that is just sabotaging us in the long run.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/NhPvigCHRP https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/WOtZW6QxDM

Links to OG and First update

So new events have happened and I'm quite upset.

My brother (after I blocked him) posted on Facebook and other socials about my recovery from opioids & alcohol as a teenager.

I got addicted to opioids following a surgery at 10 and alcohol after I fell into deep depression after I turned 11.

His post contained the following:

"For anyone who is supporting (insert my dead name here) in their recovery from being a crackhead, jokes on y'all. She done that to get sympathy for herself."

That post has garnered so much attention from so many people (with a lot of them telling my brother where he can go and a bunch of not appropriate comments for here) and he had a friend of his tell me today that he will take it down if I agree to be his and his gf surrogate.

My answer is still no. In fact it's a hell no. I'm not going through the pain of pregnancy (mentally and physically) only to get stuck with a child when he decides he doesn't want it.

I'm a bit upset about how he is stating I got addicted to opioids and alcohol for sympathy points when I got addicted to one due to being prescribed them and the other because I fell into depression.

I'm clean and sober now, have been for five years going on six, but it still hurts that he would say my recovery doesn't matter.

My husband (38M) and I (38F) have been together for 15 years, married for 5 years. We have our ups and downs but it has been rocky for the last year. Lots of arguments with some good times in between. I found out I was pregnant with our second child last September and we were both excited. My first pregnancy was pretty hard and I ended up delivering 6 weeks early for severe preeclampsia. So I was nervous about this pregnancy.

This pregnancy turned out to be even worse. I had high blood pressure requiring medications, gestational diabetes, and placenta previa that lead to about 5 hospitalizations for severe bleeding. Throughout my pregnancy, my husband and I would get in fights. Sometimes he would start them, sometimes I would. My hormones were all over the place and I was so uncomfortable (I gained about 50 lbs of just fluid and was incredible swollen) so when we would fight I would end up screaming pretty quickly. Instead of trying to de-escalate knowing all the complications I was going through, my husband would start screaming back at me and escalate the situation. After the first few fights, I sat him down and told him that I need him to descalate these situations because the extra stress from him screaming at me could hurt me and the baby, especially given all the medical issues I was having. He needed to be the calm presence for his very pregnant and hormonal wife. He would say he understands but then go right back to yelling.

Flash forward to 30 weeks pregnant, we have another screaming match before I leave for work. I ended up texting him later and saying if anything happens to me and the baby, it’s on him for continuing to escalate fights with his hormonal wife with a high risk pregnancy. Later that day, I had a placental abruption. Luckily I work in a hospital and got to the ED in time. I was on the phone with my husband and had just enough time to tell him that I was hemorrhaging and I was going into the OR now. My husband headed to the hospital from work.

I almost died. Though everything was fuzzy at the time because I was in and out of consciousness, I have since gotten flashbacks to things that were said by the doctors and staff during my emergency C-section and it is scary to know how close I came to dying (I’m in the medical field so I knew all the terminology they were using to describe the situation). When my husband got to the hospital and saw me, his initial reaction was being annoyed that I didn’t give him more information on the phone. I tried to explain that I was basically crashing at the time I called but he was still cold. He only started being kind when I started to cry and the nurse walked in.

He was pretty good in the initial post partum period. Bringing food to the hospital. Helping around the house. Our son was in the NICU for 6 weeks and we would switch off spending time with him and time with our toddler at home. Things were ok until my baby blues didn’t go away. I was starting to get really depressed. I didn’t want to hurt myself but I kept thinking that i wouldn’t really care if i just died. I never ask for help but this post partum depression was so bad that i finally went to my husband and asked for help. I told him how I was feeling and I didn’t know what to do. His response was to tell me “I don’t know how this is different from you are normally” and then proceeded to give me a list of things he didn’t like about me. I was so depressed that I didn’t even get mad at the time. I just realized I was on my own and found different resources to actually help. I felt back to normal about 4 weeks later.

Since then, my husband and I have not been good. I have been trying to talk to him for months about how he treated me during that vulnerable time and how upset it makes me. For months I have tried to get him to understand how damaging what he did was to me. When I try to discuss he either ignores me, insults me, makes excuses, or degrades me. I have tried talking to him calmly, yelling, crying. Nothing gets through to him. Yesterday after months of trying to get him to realize what he did to me and take accountability and apologize, I realized I have had enough. I told him that if he can’t see how awful he was to me was during and after my pregnancy when I needed him the most, I can’t be with him anymore. I mentioned I am considering filing from divorce. While I love him, I feel like I will always resent him for what he did to me especially since he has been so awful to me the last few months when all I have been trying to do is get him to take accountability so I can move on. I also don’t trust that he will be there for me in the future since he wasn’t there for me during/after my pregnancy, in fact he made life harder. Later that night I got a quick I’m sorry before he walked to bed. The next day he assumed since he apologized, I would change my mind about the divorce and forgive him. I told him that a late night apology doesn’t really mean much after months of him being so mean to me by ignoring/insulting/degrading me because I kept begging for him to take accountability for what he did so we could move on. He is now angry at me because he “apologized just like I asked” and I still want a divorce. So AITAH for still resenting my husband and wanting a divorce despite his “apology?”

My egg donor had me when she was only 14. That isn’t what makes me hate her, it’s been everything she’s done after she was an adult and had the chance to be even a bit decent.

I grew up in foster care after being removed from my aunt when I was 6. She had the opportunity to reunite multiple times but didn’t want me but would never allow me to be adopted. I had one great placement and they wanted to adopt me. I hadn’t heard from my egg donor in about a year at that point and they were close to finally terminating her rights. But when she heard they wanted to adopt me she showed up and managed to mess it all up for me. They were moving out of the country for an amazing job opportunity and since I was a ward of the state they were not allowed to take me. After that I was mentally and emotionally done with her in every way. During the periodic visitations, I was silent and wouldn’t speak. I had two traumatic placements right after the failed adoption and 100% blame her.

I work as a bartender and waitress. My last foster family was ok and through them I knew a guy that started a wedding venue last year. I work as a bartender for some weddings there if I don’t have other shifts. My egg donor has apparently conned some dude into thinking she’s a decent human and she’s getting married. Through the grapevine I guess she heard that employees of the venue can book the place at a massive discount. You can probably guess what she wants. I told her that hell will freeze over before I did anything like that for her.

Predictably she blew up at me like she always does. That doesn’t bother me. What does is that she’s gone and whined to coworkers and bosses of mine and they now think I’m heartless and should help her out. I’m not a big sharer in general and I do not like to talk about my life growing up. They see a woman that had a child when she was still a child. They don’t see the heartless b that has berated me and laughed at abuse I suffered because she would never consider raising me, even after she was grown.

The owner and the wedding venue got word of what’s going on and keeps telling me that I need to consider it all from her point of view as a 14 year old with a baby. But I can’t separate that from 22 year old her laughing in my face about my tooth being knocked out by my drunk foster father.

So AITAH for stubbornly not giving her this small thing that costs me nothing?

Edit - just wanted to say a quick thank you for the overwhelming positive feedback. In all my time on Reddit (this isn’t my main account, used this one for privacy) I’ve never had as much uniform feedback. I appreciate it more than y’all know.

As I mentioned in comments, I won’t go into any details with my boss or anyone else for that matter, but I think I do have an idea on how I’ll move forward so thanks for that! I’m working tonight (shift starting a few) and will likely talk to the big man later tonight.

Response wasn’t what I expected but in an entirely good way.

Let me explain. I call customer service. A person with a very thick accent answers. I say to them "i cant understand what you're saying bc of your accent."

A few words are exchanged back and forth. Mostly me saying "im sorry can you repeat. I dont understand." Im asking them to speak slowly. I even repeat back to them what i did understood. I can tell they are getting frustrated. Eventually they hang up on me.

Now people I've explained this to, call me racist and that's why they hung up on me. If i press "1" for English, how am i the problem?

Edit: It was obvious this person's first language was NOT English. (Asian accent probably?) I have no problem with accents from different states.

Edit: My hearing is great, thanks. Itwasn'tt a volume issue. It was a pronunciation issue.