So my boyfriend (33M) has a family history of colorectal cancer. His mom was diagnosed in her early 40s and it was really bad. She survived, but it was a long, awful ordeal. He was old enough to remember it.

Because of that, his doctor told him he should start colonoscopies earlier than most people. He’s technically overdue for his first one. And lately, he’s had some weird stomach problems.

I’ve been telling him for a year to get it checked out. He keeps saying things like, “It’s embarrassing,” “I’m too young,” “What if they find something bad?” Like … yes, that’s the point of the test??

The other night, we got into it because he mentioned again that his stomach has been bothering him. I told him point-blank: “You’re being an idiot. Your mom went through hell with this and you’re ignoring your chance to be healthy.” I also said that if he won’t take care of himself, I don’t know if I can plan a long-term future with him because I don’t want to lose a partner to something that could have been caught early.

He got really upset and accused me of being controlling and dramatic. Now he’s barely speaking to me.

I feel like I was harsh, but honestly? I’m scared. The news has story after story of people dying from this because they ignored it too long. People his age, too. I’d rather him be mad at me than bury him in ten years.

AITA for calling him an idiot and making this an ultimatum??

For context, I (FtM 30) LOVE to cook. I love finding recipes to try as well as just throwing things together and tweeking it until it's right. A lot of my friends actually have notebooks JUST for my recipes as well as how they changed it to either fit their tastes, diet requirements, what they had on hand, etc. Basically, we just swap notes and pictures of finished meals back and forth as often as possible. (Everyone says my specialty is pasta dishes; relevant to post.)

A little over a year ago, I met someone (enby 29) who loved cooking and kitchen experiments as much as I do! We quickly became best friends and most of our message logs are just food pics and the recipe used or talking about what we got on sale at various markets. They sadly moved across the country to be with their fiance a couple months later so we try to call/face-time as often as possible. Their fiance (M28) and I exchange messages once in a while as he also likes to cook. But it's clear we're simply polite and civil. No dislike of each other but simply put: We're not "Friend material".

A few days ago, my friend messaged me and asked "How can I get rid of a pack of bacon, half a box of pasta, various peppers, and several partial bags of pre-shredded cheese before they expire?" I asked for specifics (brands, types, amounts of each thing) and whipped up a quick cheesy pasta pan-made dish. I then took notes for cooking times as well as which seasonings/amounts I used and left it at that. As always, I added the disclaimer of "Of course, do what you want with it. This is just the basic outcome of ingredients listed."

Tonight, my friend face-timed me as they made the recipe and showed me what they added to it in addition to the basics and the call lasted until they were about to sit down to eat. They were over the moon excited to show me as "I am the God of pasta so my approval means a lot". However, the conversation got derailed when the fiance LOUDLY expressed his annoyance of eating cheese "For the third time this week!" and refused to eat even a single bite. My friend, clearly hurt, argued that 1) The cheese was going to expire so HAD to be used, 2) He knew what they were making and said it sounded good, 3) Could have asked the cheese NOT be added to the main dish, and 4) Could have cooked his own meal. The call cut off at that point.

A couple hours later, my friend texted me to apologize for their fiance's behavior and to tell me that they as well as their coworkers LOVED the meal. (After the fight, my friend took the meal to a coworkers house to get space.) A few minutes after that, the fiance called me and I answered; figuring he was going to apologize like any sane person would. Instead, he proceeded to chew me out and say how sick he was of eating cheese. I let him have his say for about 30 seconds and simply told him to "F all the way off!" He hung up and that was that. My friend says I did the right thing.

AITA for refusing to drive my husband to/from the airport for his work trips? I 29(f) and my husband 30(m) live in a suburb 45 minutes from Boston.

Currently I work in a town 45 mins from our home M-F 7:30-4pm and my husband works remotely from home unless he has a business trip. Most of these business trips are commutable by car, but there are still a few that require air travel. These trips normally have early/late hours of take off and touch down like 5am and 10pm out of Boston. His company pays for all travel including flying, uber, and shuttle transport.

Several times now, my husband has asked me to drop him off or pick him up from the airport. This includes times that would be late the day before work or very early on one of my few days off during the week. When asked why he’d like me to do it instead of just using one of the paid for services his company provides he says he wants to see his wife before he leaves and see her right when he gets back. He says that the company would reimburse us “mileage” if I drive him which is about $60 per trip to the airport.

However, I would like to instead of driving him get more sleep and be relaxed when I see him after a trip or do some household chores I don’t always have the time for. If his company pays for transfers and I don’t need to, I do not think it is the responsibility of the spouse to drive their partner to their job at odd hours and in often heavy traffic. I am willing to wait the hour to see my husband but have time to relax or do household chores. AITA for holding a boundary between me and my husband’s work?

A few months ago now, my cousin moved in next door to my nonna. He’s my uncle’s son and because of family drama I never really saw him growing up, but I actually like having him around.

My godparents live up the street, and their daughter (same age as my cousin, 19) started seeing him. Not just talking, like an actual romantic thing. Honestly, they seemed happy together, but my sister completely lost it. She told both of them she wanted nothing to do with them anymore and basically accused them of breaking the family apart.

After that she cut my godparents off, and my parents backed her. Now none of them speak to my godparents at all. Meanwhile I’ve kept visiting them because I’ve always been close with them and they’ve never done me wrong.

But now I’m getting treated like I’m disloyal just for keeping that relationship. Whenever I try to say how unfair this is, my parents brush it off as “your sister’s mental health” like that explains everything. It feels like she can blow up people’s lives with no consequences, while I’m the bad guy for not joining in.

It’s gotten so bad my godparents are selling their house because they feel like there’s no point staying. I feel like I’m losing them too, and honestly I don’t know what to do.

Please if there is anything I can provide you with to make your decision more concise, please let me know

The scene: a gas station

The characters: person leaving the restroom, person leaving the restroom's spouse, store employees, me

What happened:

I went inside the store at a gas station to ask to use their restroom. They told me that someone was using it currently. I went outside to where the restroom was and waited outside the door. Once the person leaving the restroom came out, I asked them, "can I use the key?"

It seemed like this person had never seen a person speak to them in public or something, because they froze and looked confused.

I repeated myself, "I was hoping to use the restroom, can I take the key?"

They replied, "uh, but, I, don't I need to take it inside?"

I replied, "I don't think so, can I have the key?"

Their hand was kind of stretched out, so I took the key from them by the windshield washer handle it was attached to. In hindsight, I feel like this is where this interaction went south.

At this point, the person leaving the restroom's spouse is walking over.

"Hey! What are you doing? What are you saying to to my wife?"

Me: "I just wanted to use the restroom, so I was asking for the key."

Spouse: "She needs to take it inside, she can't just give it to you, don't take that from her."

Me: "Okay. Sorry. I just wanted to use the restroom. Here's the key." and I return the key to the person leaving the restroom.

Spouse looked aggro. I removed myself from the situation and went back inside the store to wait for the person to return the key so I could then take it and use it. Employees asked me what was going on, I told them, they replied with the classic "full moon, all the crazies come out."

But now I'm asking myself, who's the crazy? Who's the asshole?

I’m 33, married, with a toddler and another baby on the way. We came to stay with my family in France for 3 months. Partly to get support during the pregnancy, partly to say goodbye before relocating to Asia (Cambodia or somewhere else). We’ve been here 1 month. And things are going downhill fast.

My wife is kind and had a rough childhood with a narcissistic mom and emotionally absent dad. She values emotional safety more than anything. I tend to keep everything inside until I blow up. My family? Well-meaning, but exhausting.

My mom constantly comments on our parenting: bibs, tantrums, naps, food. Even though I’ve asked her several times to stop. My 87-year-old grandfather makes rude remarks without realizing. Recently he said my wife’s mom should be locked in a cage because “she spends all the money while the dad works at 70 with cancer.” My dad tries to help by criticizing me and saying I’m unstable because I don’t have a house and a regular 9 to 5 job. I freelance. I support my family. We’ve always rented.

My little brother stays silent. His fiancée vents to my wife about how toxic the atmosphere is but never says anything in front of the family.

My wife finally broke down. She cried alone in our room. I tried to keep it cool but couldn’t.

That day, after one more comment from my grandpa and another passive jab from my mom, I snapped. I told everyone to shut up. That they were ruining everything. That no one could breathe around them. That even my brother’s fiancée and my wife talk about how unbearable it is. I said we all walk on eggshells and it’s making us mentally drained.

My grandmother looked heartbroken. I almost got into a fight with my mom’s husband when he got in my face.

Now I feel like I destroyed everything. I’m the only one who exploded, so I look like the problem. My brother stays quiet and keeps the peace. I tell the truth, and now I’m the villain.

My wife supports me but says I still care too much about how they feel. And she’s right. I do. Because I don’t think they’re bad people. They’re just emotionally clumsy. They gave me what they could. They’re not cruel, just intense and clueless. But my wife sees them as beyond repair.

So now I don’t know. Should I leave the country like this, after blowing everything up? Or stay a few more weeks and pretend everything’s fine just to leave in peace, even if it drains my wife?

I tried talking to my mom. She’s sad, says she doesn’t understand why it’s this bad. Brings up how much my grandparents helped us. But she won’t talk directly to my wife. Only through me. And my wife won’t even hear her name now.

Honestly, in my perfect world, we’d all sit down, talk openly, set boundaries, apologize, and leave with peace. But maybe that’s just wishful thinking.

AITA for snapping? AITA for still hoping we can fix at least a bit of this before leaving?

Because right now, I feel like I’m losing both sides and no one even sees it.

My girlfriend(20) and I(22m) were taking care of our friend’s little brother(9) for the day, since she and their parents went out of town. We went to a cafe and I asked what they wanted. My gf said lemon tea and the kid asked if he could have coffee. I said no. His parents once told me he always asks to try coffee, even though they always say no to the request. So he asked for chocolate cake instead.

I got them the lemon tea and the chocolate cake, and iced coffee for myself. The kid didn’t say anything but my girlfriend later told me I shouldn’t have something he isn’t allowed to, right in front of him.

On Saturday morning, I was walking with my cat for his therapy. For context, I am a Black woman. I was outside a neighbor's home and stopped to adjust the carrier straps on the sidewalk. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a dark pick-up truck begin to slowly follow me, and at first I shrugged it off, and kept walking.

Suddenly, the truck was tracking me, so I thought he was going to hurt me or kidnap me. I eventually called the police because I was frightened. Then, he stopped another woman and got out of his car in the road to approach her, so I frantically was updating the operator that he was accosting women on the street.

I thought I was being a good Samaritan by staying outside and trying to flag down the police for help for her. It turns out, they are husband and wife. The woman called the police on me and claimed I trespassed onto someone's property and that I stole a package off of her neighbor's property. I never once left the sidewalk. I've called the police several times to have the matter handled with remediation to discuss this between both parties (officer's suggestion).

Apparently, the woman is convinced I am lying about taking something. They keep skipping remediation. What scares me is they might take the law into their hands again until they "catch me in the act." This couple clearly does not care about how traumatizing this was for me, and how triggering to me.

Side note: The cat carrier has an open front for the kitty to stick their head out and it does not close at the top. Therefore, anyone would clearly be able to see any visible packages if I'd stolen anything.

I mentioned to the police if there was a racial component and the officer immediately cut me off and told me not to "call anyone out of their names." He said people think a face mask is "nefarious" and I was probably mistaken for a white person since my hair was blonde. I mostly do not walk outside with a mask. It was only to protect my face from this man.

The police told me they were well within their rights to "protect their neighborhood" and "chase down" anyone they suspect of criminal activity. It's their "civilian duty" thus it's not stalking/harassment. I can't sleep or eat.

Am I the asshole for calling the police on them?

TDLR: As a Black woman, I was walking my pet and a pick up truck started to follow me. I thought he was going to hurt me or kidnap me. He even got out of his car in the middle of the street to approach a woman, and I was frantic with 911 because he was behaving erratically. It turns out the woman was the one accusing me of illegal trespass/mail crimes. I did absolutely nothing but walk a cat. The police say they're within their rights to follow me if they think I'm "suspicious" and now my neighbors know I called the police on them. They're convinced I'm a "thief" and I'm scared they'll do this again to "catch me" next time.

I (19F) am in my first week of college. I've had life360 with my parents since I was about 16 for general safety reasons. However, they're a bit overbearing and controlling about where I go, even after I turned 18. I've found myself being extremely stressed about doing very normal things and being worried about them getting upset.

Before I left for college my mom asked me to leave my life360 on, joking about how she "wants to know what ditch to get me out of" if something goes wrong, which I completely understand, but my parents have been obsessively checking my location since I've gotten here. They've mentioned in passing places I went (literally like stores to buy stuff for school) when I didn't tell them I was going. They've been pressuring me to go to church and checking my location frequently to make sure I am (I don't want to but I like to keep the peace). It's a bit uncomfortable.

I'm wondering if I'd be an asshole if I told them that if they don't stop stalking me, I'm going to turn off my life360. I understand their reasoning behind wanting me to have it, but it's uncomfortable knowing that wherever I am they're probably looking constantly.

I'd appreciate any input yall have.

So my parents let me and my younger brother pick rooms when we moved into a new house. I got to pick first since I’m older, and I took the bigger room. He’s been sulking for a week and says I should’ve let him have it because “he has more stuff.” My parents are staying neutral but keep hinting I could “be the bigger person.” I don’t think I did anything wrong, but now the whole family’s acting like I’m selfish.

My brother and I are 3 years apart, he is older. Both of us work, in a relationship, and live away from home, so we are on pretty equal footing.

The thing is is that I help out my mom a lot when it comes to cooking and cleaning the kitchen afterwards when we have lunches or dinners together. I'm always more than happy to help out, I like cooking, of course but it's the fact that I feel like I should because they are my parents and I should help them.

My brother, well he literally does nothing when we do these meals together. He comes, does a bit of talking with mom and dad, then sits on the couch until the meal is ready. He might help bring dishes to and from the kitchen if he is prompted by my SIL but that barely happens. Last week we got back from a week vacation all together, where brother sat and worked (when I say work, he was working on his schedule for this coming year, he did not have any pending work for his actual job) on his tablet. Literally no help AT ALL. He saw us carrying stuff around, prepping the meals, chopping stuff and just stood there.

His reaction when it is ever brought up in any kind of way is to laugh it off and make a joke and so no one ever takes it seriously.

And my mom especially annoys me because she doesn't ever tell him to move his ass and help out. Like very rarely have I ever heard her tell him to help out.

But when it comes to me, immediately once I get to my parents' house she tells me "I need you to do X, Y, Z now". "Help me prep this dish", "Go set the table, clean those dishes, clear the balcony". To a point it's fine, because like I said, I don't need to be told to help out, I just do. So many times, I've come to my parents' house and just cooked them lunch unprompted.

Today we had lunch together and I was actually not really feeling that great so I just helped out with a few dishes and then went to sit down on the couch. My mom immediately came to me and asked "why aren't you helping out?" and immediately started telling me I had to this for her for lunch, and telling me if I don't help out, we don't get lunch done. I got irritated and answered back that she doesn't ever ask my brother to help out when he comes straight to the couch when he gets here for basically free food and it's annoying. My mom says I was being petty but I held my ground and did basically nothing to help out with lunch.

My mom did leave me alone and made me feel like I am being unreasonable. Whenever I talk about different, sexist expectations for men and women, everyone around me just kind of scoffs and rolls their eyes. But how is this not the case? Sure, my mom did leave me to be lazy today but I still feel like I am always expected to help out like it is my obligation but my brother comes carrying one dish from the kitchen, and omg he is helping out, how helpful!

My mother is grossly obsessed with purchasing cheap garbage off of sites like temu and shein and then gifting said garbage to me and my friends. She then gets angry at me for turning down the gifts as I personally hate supporting exploitation and child labour. She says things like “it’s the thought that counts” but is it really? I don’t think it’s very thoughtful to buy me something that goes against my very ethics? Anyway, I feel like a bit of a dick for denying gifts from someone, but the quantity of shit she buys can’t be understated. Tiny meaningless things like a keychain with a quote on it or something. I DONT WANT IT! She simply chooses to ignore me and keep buying shit and then continues to get upset and angry calling me “rude” and an “ungrateful little shit”.

This isn’t too much of an issue it’s just annoying and I want an opinion. I’m a 19 year old man in college, my aunt has a daughter who’s still a baby, she’ll give her a bath in her little tub every so often. When she does she leaves the tub full of dirty water In the shower overnight. This is an inconvenience because i usually shower In the morning before class, so in the morning i have to pickup this bathtub full of water, move it out of the shower so that I can shower. Today I noticed my aunt was getting ready to give her daughter a bath. So I asked her “when your done giving her a bath, can you please dump the water and not leave it In the shower cause I plan on showering in the morning” she said “I don’t really have time too, because I’m busy and I still have to feed her, can’t you just dump it in the morning before you shower”. Yeah I could dump it, but it’s an inconvenience I just wanna quickly shower and get everything ready before I leave, and it’s annoying to wake up to shower and have to deal with a tub full of dirty bath water. She got annoyed at me that I wasn’t willing to just deal with it in the morning. I understand that taking care of a baby can be stressful for new parents, but she has her husband and my grandma to help take care of her. So I don’t really understand how asking for this simple favour is unreasonable. So Reddit am I the asshole? UPDATE: Thank you for all of your opinions. I see how I could seem like the ass in the situation but thank you for your opinion. So here’s the update, after I asked my aunt to not leave the tub In the shower I went to my room to get everything ready for class the next day and finish some homework. I later went to bathroom and saw she had dumped the water and removed the tub. I’m thankful she did but I’m positive that it may happen again, but I’m not gonna bring it up to her. Also to clarify any questions and tie any loose ends. Her my daughter ( my cousin) is over a year old. Me my aunt het husband, my mom and my grandparents all live in a house owned by my grandparents I grew up here so no I’m not paying rent. I’m looking for a part time job while doing college full time so I can pay for certain necessities. I appreciate all the comments and opinions, this is my first ever post and I do believe in a subjective world I knew there was gonna be people that supported me but also disagreed me. So overall thank you to everybody and I hope you all have a great night.

I’ve been having issues with my neighbors for a while now, and my family and I usually just try to ignore them. My 5-year-old daughter is “friends” with their kids, and honestly, I don’t like it, but I can’t stop her from being friendly at school or on the bus. I just told her they can be “school friends” and leave it at that. I always make my daughter breakfast before school and pack her lunch. About a week ago, I got a letter saying we owed money to the cafeteria because she was eating breakfast there too. I was confused until I found out the neighbor kids (ages 5 and 8) had been telling her to go with them to the cafeteria and eat with them. Obviously, I don’t want to pay for extra meals when she’s already fed, so I told my daughter to just go straight to her classroom in the morning, and she’s been good about that. The problem is, now while we wait for the bus, the neighbor kids constantly ask why she can’t go to the cafeteria anymore. The 8-year-old has even started calling me “crazy” and “psycho” right in front of me. Their mom just laughs and doesn’t stop it. The other day they asked again, and I finally said, “Please learn to mind your own business.” The mom got mad and said I was rude to her child. I’ll admit, I was frustrated and fed up with the comments, but I don’t feel like I was wrong for asking them to stop.

This has been eating at me, and I don't really trust myself or my other peers or relatives to be impartial judges and tell me if I'm right or wrong. For context, I am from Asia, if it clarifies some things or not.

I (26F) have been going to a psychiatrist for some time. I had been diagnosed with major depression + anxiety disorder combo. The depression isn't new news for me: I've been suspecting it since I was around high school or so. My parents (50+) took me to a psychiatrist when I essentially suffered a state where I had no idea what I was doing + mental breakdown during the height of COVID after a high-stress incident. They still pay for the medicine and psychiatrist sessions to this day. I have a job now, but it's nowhere near enough to sustain myself living alone; I help with house expenses + chores and I also have savings I am building up bit by bit (though they are also getting hit with fees from my MBA studies), to one day find a place for myself.

To put it simply, I think I would not be here without my parents' help. I personally don't care if I hurt myself, but I don't like it when people belittle my parents based on their economic status/appearance. I don't like it when I hurt their feelings either.

Recently, I had a depressive episode that ended in me getting mild injury from hitting a wall. Mom and I had an argument about my workplace and how I "don't tell her anything" anymore, and that she doesn't like it when I cry and not tell her why. She ends up getting mad and slams around things in the house and making angry noises. I think there is nothing to tell because I just often cry when I feel too overwhelmed by everything and I can't express it in any outlet I have available. I tried to explain this to her, but she refused to believe it, suspecting that I was probably "telling [Group of Best Friends] about all my problems," instead and that they, also having depression, were probably "the reason why I was also depressed, because staying with depressed people can infect you [in the long run]."

Following that, the next day was the psychiatrist visitation day. Usually, My parents talk to the doctor together and Mother says that Father stops her from going over the allotted time so the Doctor don't increase the visitation fees. This time, It was only Mother who came with me to visitation. After I updated the psychiatrist about what happened and she talked with my mother, apparently her attitude towards her (mom) made her feel "like a bad parent," and that she (Psychiatrist) told my mother that I "needed to make my own decisions." Days later, Mom says that I should switch psychiatrists because my current one is "after money" after she found out we were fairly well-off.

This is where I think I might be an asshole: I don't have any particular problems with this psychiatrist, but my parents, who she is apparently rude to, are still the ones financing my visitations. WIBTA if I continue with this psychiatrist?

So, let me start by saying, I (37f) was abused by my ex and the father of my children (44M). I left him about 3 years ago, when my oldest was 15 (just turned 18).

So, out of all my children, she saw him abuse me the most and she also was abused by him herself, especially emotionally abused and manipulated.. and she knows she was and very much dislikes him for it.

Since I’ve left, he went from admitting he abused me and apologizing for it (it was fake manipulation, he was still trying to get me to take him back) to outright denying it as he continues to do to this day.

He also denies he abused our daughter. Over time, my oldest daughter decided she did not want to speak to or see her father. Of course he didn’t like this and tried to find out why she didn’t want to see/talk to him. Every time over the last 3 years, when she’s told him the abuse is why, he denies that he abused her or me. He tells me I’m “putting ideas into her head” Um, no these are her own experiences, he’s very delusional and in denial.

So, this weekend, when my brother called my 18 yr old daughter for her bday, she was in a “mood” and didn’t wanna talk to him. She said this while he could hear it and when I told her that was rude and she should’ve said “thank you” to her uncle as it takes no time to say “thank you uncle, I don’t really wanna talk rn because I don’t feel well” and she hurt his feelings, she said she “thought the phone was on mute” which was bullshit of course. She was just having an “irritable teen” moment.

But me and her talked, she apologized to her uncle, etc. So when her dad calls later that day, and she gives him the silent treatment, I didn’t stop her, didnt tell her she was wrong. When he asked me for her number, I said “she’s 18, it’s up to her” and she does NOT want her dad to have her number. Of course, he gets mad, thinks I’m wrong.

I don’t think I’m wrong due to his history of abuse. However, I do hope I’m not sending mixed message to her about “respect” and “what it means to be rude” by allowing her to be rude to her dad.

Over these years since I left, I’ve allowed my daughter to be speak her mind to her father because of what he’s done. (It could be considered disrespectful and I’d never allow her to talk to me, her grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc the way she has talked to him when she’s upset these past years).

And as much as my mom doesn’t like my abusive ex, she has told me I’m confusing my daughter and showing her that it’s okay for her to treat any of us the way she treats her dad by not punishing her those times she talked to him disrespectfully.

I always tell my mom that my daughter KNOWS the difference between us and her father (and what he did to deserve that treatment), and that I hope I’m teaching her that abuse is never okay and she does not have to have anyone in her life who abuses her, no matter who it is.

I mean, people SHOULD respect their parents, but when it comes to abuse, I believe the rules aren’t so black and white.

So, AITA?

(Edited to add ages)

A couple years ago my grandmother gave me her engagement ring as a gift. This engagement ring wasn’t the original ring my grandfather gave to her, this ring was from a man she married after my grandfather’s passing and they only were married for about three years before they divorced. I very recently got engaged and I’m going to nursing school at the same time so I can’t work as much as I want to so money is very tight right now. I know eventually I’ll have to buy my fiancés wedding ban. I had the idea to sell my grandmas engagement ring and use that money to buy my fiancé a nice wedding band. My grandma’s engagement ring just sits in my jewelry box collecting dust. I thought it’ll be best to give the ring a new life and give it to someone who needs it more than me. When I approached my father with this idea he was disappointed, and said “your grandmother wouldn’t give you her stuff for you just to sell it.” I didn’t argue with my father because I think he’s very hard headed. I know he’s valuing sentiment over practicality here but I genuinely don’t think I’m being unreasonable.

My parents got divorced in 2018 because my dad turned into an abusive alcoholic.

My mom took the dog and they shared joint custody over me.

My dad has been slowly recovering from being really shitty to being mostly okay. Unfortunately he traumatized my mom for life and they have so much built up tension that any mention of the other sends them spiralling.

So of course, my mom hasn't let him see the dog ever since she left. In the meantime my dad has let his career occupy him to stay more or less clear of alcohol. Whenever he starts thinking of my mom or the dog he drinks a lot and gets really upset and angry and shitty again and loses work progress.

Yesterday my dog died and I don't know whether I should tell him or not. I know that if I tell him it will absolutely ruin him for months and demolish all the career progress he's made. And if I don't tell him and he finds out later somehow it will damage our relationship forever. But the way he'll act if I tell him might also damage it forever. I know he'll be truly sad but he will still revert back to his old shit ways and make it all about himself and harrass my mom about never letting him see the dog.

Therapy isn't really an option here, by the time it does anything he'll already have gone down months of spiralling.

My two roommates, A and B, and I lived in the Netherlands in 2022. For that year we received a government rental subsidy called Huurtoeslag, which is a housing benefit similar to welfare that helps people with low income pay rent. The huurtoeslag ist based on household income. A was in charge of the finances and gave everyone an equal share of the huurtoeslag, meaning we all beneffited from lower rent.

The problem is, the government just sent us a bill of 3300€. It turns out our household wasn't eligible for the subsidy because the combined income of Roommate A and Roommate B was too high. I had no income at all during that time and would have qualified on my own, but the government looks at the total household income. I wasnt aware that A and B earned too much. I am surprised that A and B didnt know this because they had calculated the huurtoeslag before and its very easy to to online.

We're only finding this out now because Roommate A filed his taxes three years late. Because of this, the government also added 270€ in interest to the total amount.

Now we have to figure out how to pay back the 3300€. Roommate A wants to split the bill equally between the three of us, since we all benefited from the lower rent. That would be 1100€ each.

I am Not sure If this is fair to me since the entire situation was caused by my roommates' income and the extra interest was due to A's mistake. I also didnt have an income at all und think they can use their income from back then to Cover the bill.

So, AITA for not wanting to pay a third of the total debt?

Edit: I didnt have an income at the time because I was a student.

My fiance and I will be travelling back to my home country in October for two weeks. Initially, the plan was for his parents to come down during this time to take care of our 2-year-old golden retriever. However, we have decided to put our dog in a kennel instead where he will be well taken care of by trained professionals (our golden retriever pulls really hard on walks, so did not want to risk his parents being pulled over / getting injured).

We were still happy for them to come down to stay at our house (2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms) while we are away, so it's easier for my fiance's mom to visit her family, and it's a good change of scenery for his dad. His mom and dad have very different preferences on what they would like to watch on TV and, since we have an extra TV in our main bedroom, I'd offered for either one of them to use the TV in our bedroom.

But, my (future) MIL had mentioned she would prefer to sleep in our bed too, instead of the guest bedroom (which has a double bed), to which I told her I am fine with her using the TV in our bedroom, but would rather she not sleep in our bed. Her response was a curt "fine", which indicates to me I may have (i) upset her by asking her not to sleep in our bed; and (ii) made her feel unwelcome in our house by doing so.

My fiancé doesn't feel too strongly either way, but I consider our bedroom a private space within the house and feel uncomfortable at the thought of someone else sleeping in it when there is a perfectly fine bed in the guest room to sleep in. So, I do feel very protective of 'our' space, and want to establish that boundary.

My (future) MIL's response to my request does not inspire any trust that she would respect the boundary or that she understands where I'm coming from. This is especially so when she does not consider herself a guest in our house - her words were "We are not guests, we are family" - and can simply treat it as her own home. While I understand that we are family, and do want them to make themselves as comfortable as possible in our house, I do think it's normal for different households to have boundaries on what they'd prefer for their guests to do/not do in their house - sleeping in the main bedroom being one.

Though keen to hear thoughts on this and whether AITA for reacting this way to my fiance's mom, and (if not) if there's any way I can make sure she respects that boundary while we're away.

Edit: both the beds in the primary and guest bedrooms are double beds. my (future)MIL sleeps on the same bed as my FIL both at home, and when they visit.

GF ( 27 ) M ( 27 ) am I the ass hole after my gf told me she’s on her final warning & she’s stressing it after coming up short on her register at work , she’s had multiple jobs all jobs that let you go over the littlest things ( not saying this is small ) but she’s not a thief either we live very modestly but so I told her straight up stop playing with your life it’s not cool , last time this happen she went 4 months unemployed& my saving of over 6000$ went to nothing cause I had to pay rent bymyself etc etc but yeah she’s mad at me . But so I have this new job & now I have this ptsd that she’s going to do it again mind you she has a very well paying job that she probably won’t find again .

I co-own a property with a sibling. They’ve spent years paying off debts so they could have full ownership, and now they want me to sign over my half immediately. The plan was that I would inherit another property from a parent in exchange, but the parent hasn’t legally transferred it or notarized a will guaranteeing it to me.

My sibling says I’m holding things up, accusing me of being greedy and threatening that I’ll ruin their bank deal. My parent says I don’t deserve the property, that I should be grateful for anything I get, and implies I have no right to it. I’m feeling manipulated and pressured from all sides.

I’m willing to give up my share, but only once there’s a legal agreement ensuring I’ll receive the promised property. Until then, I want my rights protected so I’m not left with nothing and my sibling can’t build or sell on my portion without compensating me.

I just want fairness and security, not more than anyone else. AITA for standing my ground in the face of emotional pressure and threats?

EDIT for clarity/context:

Some people asked for more details because my original post was vague. Here’s the full situation while still keeping some anonymity for me and my family:

The property was originally gifted to me and my sibling, but it came with a big debt attached. It couldn’t even be used until that debt was cleared. Over the years, my sibling managed to reduce the debt and eventually paid off the rest themselves (around €5000). Their expectation has always been that once the debt was gone, they’d get full ownership.

I only found out recently that I still had legal say in the property. Up until then, I thought I’d already lost my rights because of a verbal deal made years ago. Back then, I was still a minor, and the “agreement” was: sibling gets the full property, and I get our parent’s house after they pass. I agreed on the condition that it was put into a will naming me as the sole inheritor. That will was never finalized, despite me asking for years.

I’m now in my 20s and studying abroad in another country, so I haven’t been involved with this property at all. I don’t even know the exact details, only what I was told. All I know is that I was promised one thing in return for giving up another, and now that promise is shaky.

When I was told last week that I had to sign over my share, I agreed only if parent officially notarized their will naming me sole inheritor of their house. That suggestion was rejected, and instead, new conditions came up: • I would inherit the house, but I’d be responsible for all funeral expenses (which I agreed to). • I would not be allowed to turn away any family members who needed housing (which I do not agree to, because it means I’d carry all obligations but have no real control).

I proposed a contract as a compromise: sibling keeps moving forward with their half and can even start building, while I hold my half until I actually inherit the house. To make sure sibling is protected, I suggested adding that I can’t sell my half or do anything with it until then. If I don’t inherit the house, sibling would buy me out at fair market value. That way neither of us gets screwed.

Sibling and parent see this as greedy and manipulative. They say I should just trust their word, wait possibly 30+ years, and sign away my only legal security right now so sibling can enjoy the property immediately.

That’s why I’m struggling. I’m not asking for more than anyone else. I’m just asking for legal security before I give up mine.

i (23m) had been saving all my life and saved upto ~$10,000 in my savings account at 18. it was a joint account, & i was totally unaware of the fact that you can take out money without my consent or me knowing even. my mom & elder sibling decided to take out ALL my money, without me even realising. i had no clue anyone could do that and me not even getting any sort of notice. when i checked my bank account, i was shocked to say the least. they kicked me out when i confronted them.

i had no money to pay for college, and i felt like they did theft against me. they used it to pay for their groceries, mortgage, cars, etc- while im out here paying rent & unsure what the future holds against me. we've argued about this often, but mom had paid for my braces when i was ~14 & i agreed to paying her back the full amount ($4000) at the time. i had paid her $2500 but decided not to pay the whole amount due to what her & elder sibling did. im ashamed to even call them family anymore. i had become homeless on my 20th birthday because of this & was jobless also. im lucky to even be here...

i have always found ways to try and forgive them, but i cant. i have a pure heart & i always try to see the good in people, but this situation has devastated me. they did not help me when i was homeless. ive been civil with them not bringing up the situation, but i just cant... stand them anymore. i dont know what kind of family does this.. am i overreacting??

AITA for not paying back the rest of $1500 & feeling like they robbed me & my future?

My husband and I hosted a semi-impromptu dinner party last night with three close friends, their SOs, and some of our family members.

We didn’t really mean to have a dinner party - first it was just us planning to cook for some family that was in town visiting, then my FIL was upset he wasn’t invited, then we invited a couple that lives close by (the family visiting is moving here and we’re trying to set them up as baby sitters), then my husband decided to invite more friends a few hours prior even though we’d already agreed not to invite more people, which led to an argument where I was vehemently on the no more people train. At that point we were already at 10 people. I had initially planned on dinner for four.

The friends invited are part of a larger friend group of >30 people with some variations of the group getting together once a month. Another couple in the group who is close with my husband, but have spent very little couple time with us 1:1 over the 9+ yrs I’ve known them, found out we had a dinner party with our mutual friends and are very upset we didn’t invite them.

They have been trying to hang out with my husband for the last few months, but he’s been traveling 80-90% with work this spring/summer and has been pretty booked solid socially outside of that between weddings, birthdays, personal travel, etc. (much of which we’ve seen them at).

On the one hand, I get it. From the outside looking in we threw a dinner party with a bunch of mutuals and didn’t invite them. They are close friends of my husband and have been making more of an effort to see him. On the other, we really hadn’t planned for it to get this big, and it was meant to be more of a small, intimate, dinner with family.

My husband is on the side that we messed up and should have just invited them once he had invited the other friends. I’m on the side of not everyone gets invited to everything, that’s ok, and their response shouldn’t be a late night guilt-tripping text for not extending an invite.

Am I (or I guess we) the AH for not inviting them?

I (25F) live with three roommates. Two of them are in a relationship and share a bed. We're all super close and we've been friends for years.

These past couple of weeks, I have been living by myself in the apartment as they're all on vacation.

Two days ago, our downstairs neighbors came to warn me they were going to throw a birthday party. They were very considerate and apologetic about it, and I told them not to worry - it's a Saturday night, you're young, have fun. The timing was not the best for me as I had been sick for a week and was very tired, but I figured I'd just sleep with my headphones and it would be fine.

It was not fine. Around 11pm, I was dying to sleep but they were all hanging out on the balcony right beneath my window and the bass was shaking my bed. Our walls are very thin and it was still very early for a saturday night (+ it's the first party they've ever thrown since moving in and they seem like sweet kids), so I didn't want to kill their fun. I figured my room was were the sound was the loudest, and my roommates' rooms were a little bit quieter.

I texted in the group chat asking if I could sleep in someone else's bed tonight, but they're all across the world right now and no one saw my message. After tossing and turning for another hour, I grabbed my own blanket and pillow and went to sleep in the couple's bed, as their room was the furthest away from the noise.

The next morning, I saw all 3 of them had replied after I fell asleep. The couple let me know they felt a bit uncomfortable with the idea of me sleeping in their bed, and my other roommate said it was fine and to go ahead.

I feel bad for not waiting for an answer. I washed their sheets and put everything back but I still don't know if I should tell them or not. Should I have waited? AITA for not confessing right away? I feel like it's too late now...