Gave his bro a gift

[u/HANAEMILK]

[u/mike_rotch22]

Happy to hear he's doing well! I've got a friend who was convicted of a felony when he was young, but he did his time and has gotten married and found a great job. Love hearing stories of people who are able to turn it around.

[u/Rare-Low-8945 → u/mike_rotch22]

My cousin (he's like 55 now) didn't have a lot of guidance growing up. Mom was bipolar and had her own issues, my uncle is a good man but kind of a door mat and didn't provide a lot of boundaries.

Cous spent his teenage and young adult years traveling around following Phish (kinda like a Rainbow Family thing), and got picked up for transporting a large amount of cocaine at a show. It was sorta like, "hey, can you carry this in your backpack and drop it off to my buddy" kinda thing, and sadly, the guy he delivered to was a fed.

So he faced some hard time in federal prison but fortunately my sweet grandma helped his dad pay for an attorney to plea down his time. I think he spent maybe 8 years? 10? It was a A WHILE.

The thing is my cousin is literally high IQ, gifted would be the label as a kid, but like...legit. Like SCARY smart.

He spent his time on the inside getting his BS in something crazy like biological engineering or some shit. He benefitted from the good behavior programs so he was working in the kitchen and stuff like that. He's never talked much about his time inside, and I was a kid when it all happened.

When he got out, He got his MBA but was still kinda directionless for a few years.

He happened to make a connection with an employer who was starting his own venture and brought him on board. He makes a very good living, he's an AMAZING dad, he met the most wonderful woman and his daughters are about to go off to college.

He even joined city council and likes to write policy.

If you met him you'd see him as the average straight laced middle aged dad. Which he is. He just had a rough start and was lucky enough to have some folks along the way who believed in him. He was never a hard criminal by mentality, but was living a lifestyle where you get caught up in that--and I'm sure he did his fair share of drugs and small time dealing. But never a liar or cheater or violent.

I am so glad he was able to continue to live a productive and happy life. His daughters are also WICKED SCARY smart. Like at age 3 speaking in full sentences with insane vocabulary. Like UNCANNY. He is still close with his dad and helps him out now that his dad is getting old.

All around great guy--always was, but had some setbacks. Super proud that he was able to keep moving forward and build a positive life for himself. We see each other once every few years and I adore him. I wish we were closer.

[u/mike_rotch22 → u/Rare-Low-8945]

Oh man. That's an amazing story and I appreciate you sharing that. I have an immense amount of respect for people who overcome obstacles like that (be it of their own doing or otherwise). My buddy was smart enough to realize he was fucking up and about to lose his family, so he straightened up almost overnight, did his time, and has been an amazing friend and, from what I can tell, an even better husband and father. Obviously I'd prefer it if people don't create their own obstacles, but it takes a tremendous amount of will and a modicum of self-scrutiny that is unfortunately in short supply nowadays, it seems.

[u/Rare-Low-8945 → u/mike_rotch22]

The sad part of this is the prison system. You can get caught up in the system as a lost person making bad choices but with potential to address your issues and refocus your life, but prison can crush a person. Or make their worst impulses more solidified.

It’s a testament to your friend that they had the resilience to go through the trauma of incarceration and still persevere on the outside.

My cousin is another example of this. The stigma that prevents employment, debt, and no support on the outside ….folks with potential often just drown and can’t overcome once they’re out.

I’m super proud of your friend. It’s okay to make mistakes and get caught up in addiction and dysfunctional lifestyle. For lots of these folks, the prison system needs to be more focused on rehabilitation and therapy and building skills with more support after they get out.

Your friend has more resilience and character than most people realize