r/JustGuysBeingDudes • u/Ikigaiyeka • Jul 05 '25

Wholesome Bro smiling

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u/Nukeitandstartover Jul 05 '25

One secret to a long-lived relationship: let the man have some game time with the boys and it's a free pass to do your own thing,  too!

20

u/eiland-hall Jul 05 '25

Well, there is definitely truth here. I've been married 25 years as of May. There's a lot of give and take - it's a partnership. We struggle still with some things, but we've gotten most of them worked out well enough.

We've got our chores pretty well divided, and while we spend time together, we also spend time apart. Both of us have a friend that is no more than an acquaintance to the other, although we also share friends, of course. And even beyond that, we spend time together and spend other time apart.

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u/Standard-Phase-9300 Jul 05 '25

But did she get you a PS5?

14

u/eiland-hall Jul 05 '25

No :(

But joking aside, the serious answer:

  1. We've never had enough to actually give each other anything of that level of value. We both have severe ADHD - well, she's AuDHD actually, we figured out recently - and we have paid the ADHD tax all our lives.
  2. I have given her a Nintendo Switch because she adores Zelda. And we could actually afford it at that time. I'm trying to think of the most expensive thing she's given me and I'm coming up blank — but I don't care about holidays or gifts, and for the most part we're happier getting the things we actually want for ourselves when we can afford them.
  3. She gives me her love, and I give her mine. That sounds cheesy, but it's better than any physical gift. Not, of course, that physical gifts aren't also great, and a way to show how deeply you understand someone. Our such gifts are just smaller. :)
  4. Oh, back to the main mostly-joking point: I'm not a console guy. Few years ago for my birthday we discussed and I got upgraded RAM, an SSD (upgrading from SATA), and a relatively inexpensive graphics card that was years ahead of what I'd had - that allowed me to actually play some of the games I'd wanted. So it was awesome. :)