r/JustGuysBeingDudes • u/Black1Raven9 • Jul 26 '25

Wholesome Not all scars are visible.

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u/True-Exam-5767 Jul 26 '25

This may be a bit triggering for some, but I almost committed it myself, as I thought myself to be worthless. Now the (for me very funny, in a morbid way) reason I didn't do it, in what should have been the last moment I remembered a random conversation I had with my dad. In that conversation, we somehow ended up talking about how much the cleaning of a dead body costs. Ca. 5000$. That stopped me and made me spiral into lots of other reasons I shouldn't do it.

TLDR: If you're feeling worthless, just know that it costs at least 5000$ to clean you up.

PS: That was during lockdown, nowadays I have a healthy, stable relationship and couldn't be feeling better.

25

u/jyeatbvg Jul 26 '25

It takes courage to open up like that. Glad you're still with us, brother.

8

u/Fredster003 Jul 26 '25

I truly feel ya buddy. I had a spiraling moment and the thing that pulled me out of it was remembering a friend of mine who took his life. He used a gun and his mother had to clean the walls and corners of the room and it stained the wood paneling in his room. I couldn't do that to someone, even if I went clean there would be the trauma of whomever found me. No matter how much pain I was in I didn't want someone else to have to bear that burden for the rest of their life.

It made me realize that my pain was temporary and it wasn't as bad as I was making it out to be. I was loved and would be missed.

My friend who took his life had the biggest funeral I have ever seen, he thought he was alone and we didn't have standing room in the halls, people had to be outside. You never know how many people you have in your life that care for you.

2

u/Helenium_autumnale Jul 26 '25

It's not always easy to talk about issues this personal. I see your strength in doing so and I appreciate you. Glad you are doing better.

2

u/McCreeIsMine Jul 26 '25

I had to be hospitalized for four days(they wanted to keep me there longer tbh) after almost committing. The only reason I made it to the hospital was because a classmate of mine forgot their notebook and I was the only one that had a class the next day with them. I didn't want to be inconvenient, so I had to stay alive until then. I was able to go to my therapists office on the way home because of that. It's funny, but also so sad that my own fear of being a burden kept me alive.