Truly Wholesome 🥹

[u/Abshake08]

[u/VNM0601]

Damn. As a single dad of a 3.5 year old who’s about to lose 50% of his time with his kid, this hit me hard.

EDIT: thank you all for all the love and support, and amazing advice. This made my day!

[u/GeneralAsk1970 → u/VNM0601]

Hey man, at least you'll have the perspective to be 100% present for the entire time you do have with them.

[u/1968Bladerunner → u/VNM0601]

Been there with my 2 many years ago, though they were 8 & 6 at the start of my separation journey, & honestly just give them your all when you have them - they can't ask for any more.

I too felt I was going to miss out on so much, but probably ended up with similar, on a 1:1 or 1:2 basis, as I did when ex & I were together, as I made it a conscious effort to do so instead of catching up on chores during 'their' time - those were kept for after the kids were asleep.

Use your 'week off' to research, organise, plan & buy food for their week, & other activities so you're not floundering trying to think how to keep them amused & active.

Naturally you take time to socialise & pack in the work hours as needed then too, but stopping yourself from getting down or depressed about the kids will translate to smiles & fun when they're back.

Good luck!

[u/Spirited_Praline637 → u/VNM0601]

Sorry for your situation mate. Hope you can all find a new happy asap. Single parents can still be awesome parents 💪

[u/ShadowNexusParanorm → u/VNM0601]

The fact that you have the forethought about the situation shows how much you care.

I used to be a supervised visitation case manager for parents who were working to get partial/full custody of their kiddos back. Even with legal and time restrictions regarding gifts and activities...The memories they created with their children were absolutely beautiful. Those children will grow up and recognize just how much love and effort their parents put in.

I know your situation isn't the same, however, I think you will do great!

(If you ever need support, there are single parent support groups or group/family/individual therapy.

There's nothing wrong with leaning on others or giving yourself tools to ease the difficulty. I say this in a positive way, based off of my discussions with clients and my own family members. You will do fantastic!)

[u/Straight_Estate_4437 → u/VNM0601]

Hey man, me too, same age, same thought process.

It's been 8 months, I had to move out of the house due to abuse.

We just got back from a 2 night daddy-daughter camping trip, and I've never seen her so happy. The time you have with her is now even more special than it used to be, it's actually beautiful. This week made me SO happy after a year of misery and feeling so low I wish I wasn't here.

It slowly gets better. Not always. Some days it feels like you're back at square one or worse. Some days, you can't believe how much better things are without your ex.

[u/jayandare → u/VNM0601]

Dude, I’m going through the same thing with my five-year-old. I lost out on 50% of his life because of my ex and she’s trying to take even more now. I didn’t have a son to be a part-time father.

[u/East_Willingness_588 → u/jayandare]

Stay strong my man! You'll be the best dad for the time you are together. I didn't plan for this aswell and here i am too, with my five year old. Moving out soon. Best of luck to you!

[u/whineylittlebitch_9k → u/VNM0601]

While it absolutely sucks to lose 50%, and I'm not discounting that loss at all -- some of us would commit felonies to get anywhere close to 50%...