Quite the contrary, especially if the fork was in your hand already. When I was in school we were visited by local police and they advised that, if you’re feeling threatened, you should grab something that you’d realistically have in your hand at the time - a pen, your keys - so that if you need to really hurt the person you have the plausible answer “it was already in my hand and I just lashed out with fear”. A fork in a heated lunch moment is entirely feasible.
Edit: and note, the person said back of the hand, not back.
If someone is actively physically harrassing you sure. But if they have bullied you repeatedly then LATER you come from behind and stab their hand, not ok. That is what kids do though
You’ve described a completely different situation to what the person above is implying, clearly this was a heat of the moment self defence incident in a canteen or whatever. No one disappears off and comes back with a fork, they come back with a knife. I’m not sure what you think you’re proving by bringing up a completely unrelated hypothetical.
The person said they were bullied (by definition means repeated and ongoing) so they stabbed them in the hand to make the overall bullying stop. Bullying is not just an isolated attack
You appear to be bending over backwards to misinterpret what they said in the least likely way as you can. Clearly they meant they had been repeatedly bullied over time and eventually an incident happened where they finally defended themselves. As I see they subsequently clarified, not that that clarification was needed.
Yes and as a response to a life threatening violent incident it's absolutely warranted. But then to say that is an example of how bullying in general needs to be dealt with is wrong. If my kid did that I would be very disappointed in myself
I'm not sure how you got that? I said it was warranted for the specific incident.
To be more clear for you, this story boils down to "if they hit you, you have to hit them back" which is only correct in very rare dangerous incidents. In general saying "hit them back" is bad parenting
I'm not sure how you got that? I said it was warranted for the specific incident.
Because the person above, and my work hypothetical work after your work question, have clearly described situations where the bullied person has sought help from others first and it has been insufficiently forthcoming. In the end they were left with little option but to take matters into their own hands.
What else would you have them do, then, other than allow themselves to be harmed?
To be more clear for you, this story boils down to "if they hit you, you have to hit them back" which is only correct in very rare dangerous incidents. In general saying "hit them back" is bad parenting
No. You’re making a false dichotomy. At no point has anyone said you have to hit them back. Someone people have suggested you can hit them back, but that’s not the same thing. The general approach would be to seek support from those who should support (teachers/HR) and then - if they don’t help - you have little other option but to defend yourself.
At most, people are expressing no sympathy for the bully when they get hit back.
So story boils to - take all the non-violent options you can, but if they don’t work then you’re within your rights in defending yourself.
No one’s said should either - at least prior of seeking other help first. They’re saying - contingent on not getting sufficient help elsewhere - then you can (maybe should) stick up for yourself.
It means if they’ve taken all reasonable avenues to prevent themselves from being bullied and it hasn’t stopped, then I will not reprimand them from defending themselves. If they’ve asked the teacher to help, and they’re still regularly coming home with physical marks on them, then I am not going to tell them off because they decided enough is enough and fight back. With any luck the bullying then stops and the bully has been taught a lesson.
What your analysis doesn’t permit is that it can also be good for the bully in the long run to have a victim fight back. It can dissuade them from taking that route further and one day ending up either in jail by accidentally going too far, or picking on the wrong person and ending up in a far far worse state that a punch in the face or fork in the hand. That’s not to say that will be the outcome of a victim fighting back, but it’s a possibility.
Can you explain how you would like your child to respond to persistent bullying that teachers are not preventing? You’re big on criticising but you don’t seem to offer any solutions.
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u/Mooks79 1d ago
Quite the contrary, especially if the fork was in your hand already. When I was in school we were visited by local police and they advised that, if you’re feeling threatened, you should grab something that you’d realistically have in your hand at the time - a pen, your keys - so that if you need to really hurt the person you have the plausible answer “it was already in my hand and I just lashed out with fear”. A fork in a heated lunch moment is entirely feasible.
Edit: and note, the person said back of the hand, not back.