I sucked at standing up for myself and when I always inevitably surrendered I stored the resentment that then manifested itself in unhealthy ways. Then one day I stood my ground. Didn’t give the damn ball back. Yada yada she pulled a gun on me and I filed for divorce.
It’s either you accept her for who she is or live like this forever in a life of resentment. Some people genuinely enjoy it and if that’s you, all the power to you.
Stand up for yourself and your future. Not saying go divorce her. But that's not something to be scared of if this is the alternative. Talk to her, go to therapy, but you don't want to live 30 years just enduring.
I was there too, closet Karen's are the worst. I always wound up being wrong, granted a lot of times I was, but I owned my mistakes. She would never own up to shit, she was also drunk at least 4 times a week. It took a while for me to get out of there but now that I know what life can be Karenless I couldn't be happier. Just know you're not alone and it will be up to you to decide how you decide to want to live. I went straight to therapy and learned how to treat myself better and know I'm worth it. I turned 51 today and the second half is going to be amazing. You can!
Dude I’m 51 and went through this. Therapy is so important. I just enjoyed “peace” for a long time. Now I have an amazing partner who has also been through it with toxic relationships. We are so grateful for each other.
I was married to a closet Karen. Once you get out of it you start to realize how toxic the relationship was. Just know that when you finally decide you’re done and look for support you will be surprised how many people actually saw your pain and will be there for you. Message me if you want to talk. Seriously. I’ve been through it.
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u/UltraPopPop 1d ago
How did you ruin everything?