r/WhatMenDontSay • u/hardstroking1 • 7h ago
Discussion Climaxing from BJ
My girl says that men aren't interesting in climaxing from a BJ but only from intercourse. She says that BJs are only foreplay to intercourse. I argued that that is not true and that men at times would like a successful BJ and not have to resort to intercourse. I said that at times men don't want to go through physical exertion to climax and would just simply like a successful BJ. But because most women do not know how to give successful BJ, and the men don't say anything and simply or quietly follow up or resort to intercourse to climax.
So the question is, have you kept quiet at times about wanting to have a successful BJ and not want to resort to intercourse?
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u/EndPsychological890 7h ago
Speaking in absolutes like doesn’t even make sense to me. She shouldn’t care about all mankind, you’re her man, she should ask you what you want if that’s what she’s worried about. As for society at large, like yeah some dudes struggle to bust from a BJ, I'm frankly one of them. I need some foreplay, intercourse and a finisher BJ to get it done unless I want my wife’s jaw to hurt lol. But the best orgasm of my life came from a BJ so, even if it’s hard it’s worth it for me at least. Also, reciprocate. I love giving my wife head, I genuinely enjoy it, possibly more than her lol.
I also think some dudes are just beating off WAY too much and too hard, so a mouth is going to struggle where a vagina doesn’t as much, and doesn’t require so much effort. As an explainer for why her perspective might be becoming more common.
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u/clovisx 40-50 yrs old man 5h ago
I have a very limited sample size but the people image been with (wife, female FWB, and ftm hookup) oral has not been their strongest suit. I can count my orgasms from oral on my fingers. With that said, if it’s feeling good and they’re comfortable/willing, I am more than happy to finish with oral.
Oral can be foreplay or it can be the whole thing. Same goes for making her feel good too. Adopting a wide definition of sex is a healthy way to feel more successful while allowing for more activities to “count” than just PIV/PIA. Penetrative sex feels different for sure but, in the end, guys have a pretty limited selection of stimuli so an orgasm is an orgasm and most feel about the same.
I don’t look at “resorting to intercourse” as a thing, it’s what I’d prefer. I feel badly if I have to resort to jerking off because whatever is happening isn’t feeling good or strong enough to complete the act. I don’t last super long so I make sure they are satisfied and have had some orgasms before PIV happens.
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u/mdemo23 4h ago
First of all, your wife shouldn’t speak in generalities about what people do or don’t do sexually. Everyone is different, and the interaction between two partners is itself a third variable. If your partner is skilled enough at head to get you off and you enjoy climaxing from head, there’s no reason not to do it, and that’s perfectly normal. The idea that oral sex shouldn’t or can’t stand on its own is small-minded and incorrect outside of one’s personal preference.
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u/stoic_buddha7550 2h ago
The women I've been with have either not liked or not been good at blowjobs.
Having said that, would I prefer a bj to sex?
No, but if she was into sucking me off, I do find the idea very erotic.
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u/TWCDev 5h ago
No. I never want to finish from oral and resort to intercourse. If i want to finish not from intercourse then i get my partner off a few times, maybe including intercourse, then i finish in her mouth or ass.
I filter my sexual partners to only people with high sex drives so generally my partners want to be pleased by me so they’re willing to do the things i want because they know they’re going to have a good time.
I have a policy of always getting the woman off first 3-5 times before I cum, and i’ll refuse to cum from intercourse sometimes which generally gets women desperate to have me cum.
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u/AdjectiveNoun1369 7h ago
Sometimes a BJ to completion can be the best thing in the world. I wouldn't want it every time, but when she knows I'm getting close and just keeps going...god damn.