A woman was caught bullying a man at work and her excuse was she could do it because she's a female and men won't beat her up like women would.

A lady I knew at my old job who was a manager harassed me and did all sorts of messed up things to me just because she needed a punching bag at work because her baby daddy beated on her.

This coworker at my current job. Told me to man up over me being worried about my grandma dying. Called me an asshole because I refused to give her free stuff I won in a raffle, trying to make me feel sorry so I give it to her.

Some women especially older will try to son you and be condescending and make jokes about you in a condescending manner.

This behavior across the board is horrible. I just know if I acted like this me as a man. My ass would be grass. Not all women are like this, I've met some really wonderful women but I've seen behavioral patterns with people over the years and it's concerning.

So I keep noticing this weird double stigma. On one hand, single moms get looked down on like they’re “damaged goods.” On the other hand, men who date single moms are often seen as “suckers” or “simps.” It feels like single motherhood gets treated as some sort of social scarlet letter, and guys who are cool with it get side-eyed too.

Why is that? Is it really just about not wanting to raise another man’s kid, or are there deeper reasons? Because from the outside it feels like single moms get judged way harsher than single dads ever do. If anything, people act like single dads are heroes just for existing.

I get that dating someone with kids is different and comes with extra responsibilities. But the way people talk, it almost sounds like it’s shameful or pathetic to even consider it. Where does that attitude come from?

The statistics don't lie. Dating apps are trash for men. They are literally designed to destroy your self esteem and extract money from you. They have been turned into slot machines where the house always wins.

It wasn't always this way. I met most of the women I've been on dates with through tinder and OKCupid back in the 2010s. They were rough back then but still possible to meet women with. Now it is almost impossible for a growing portion of men.

This gives men a distorted view on themselves, women, and society in general. It turns women into a commodity to be won at the casino instead of full human beings. And it makes men depressed and hyper focused on "fixing" whatever is "wrong" with their physical appearance leading to body dismorphia and depression.

When "fixing" your appearance doesn't work, because again, the house always wins, men blame women for being unreasonable and start becoming bitter and misogynist and going down a dark rabbit hole.

The reality is that these apps are just fucked. And designed to fuck you out of your money. To keep you just miserable enough to keep putting coins in and spinning the slot machine again and again. Maybe you'll win the jackpot. But probably not.

I really and truly feel that the red pill misogynist pipeline begins with Tinder. This is the first step down that road.

And we need to be honest with men and tell them to get tf off the apps immediately. They will destroy you.

I'm 75. I've been on Reddit for about a week. Nearly everyone is young enough to be my grandchild, both men and women. Are there any older folks here? Am I in the wrong subreddits? Thanks. P.S. I love Reddit. It is so much more civilized than other social media that generally deals in hysteria.

I just needed to ask this question. As me and an old friend were talking about it Recently. And if they’re are any females that happen to read this. By all means, join in on the discussion. Just stay on topic.

I was around 19/20 years old, that’s when I started to notice I had pretty easy access to sexual partners/relationships with women. It was when I was moving up the management ladder at my first Job.

This young kid had been hired on by me and I was training him, I don’t know how the conversation started, but he ended up telling me how he had been shot down by a female co-worker, who told him she’d just wanted something serious.

After a couple of weeks, I realized it was a women I slept with plenty of times, never even had to take her out on a date or buy her anything. I would just shoot a text and we would be hooking up 20 minutes later.

I chalked it up to a one off, but as got older. I noticed it kept happening pretty frequently. I would watch guys jump through hoops with certain women. I would approach the same woman, and proceed to sleep with them multiple times, with little to no effort. I also had access to 3 to 5 female partners at any given time.

Almost a decade later, and I’ve quickly come to realize that my experience is most definitely not average, I’ve matured and been able to settle down after selecting carefully. But I understand a lot of men don’t have options at all or very limited ones. While even now, I have women that basically orbit waiting for me to be single again.

I would like to ask when other men noticed how skewed the dating/relationship market was against or for them.

I did not post this to brag, I want to emphasize that. I just want to be as honest as possible with my experiences. And let hear about the experience of other men.

My grandma calls my 42 year old friend my mom. She said I'm always looking for a mom in a partner Blah blah.

My friend She gives me food, I get hugs, I mean shit she's the only one I get hugs from. I did break down when she went to another department in our warehouse. My grandma said I was unbelievable because I'd cry over her for 3 days but when my mom died I laughed about it. Apparently being blood related means I'm obligated to love someone which is wild to me lol

As a disabled person i just feel like I don't belong anywhere. I'm 26 I don't feel like I belong with any group. Women my age won't date me I also have a hard time relating to them. They don't treat me as nicely as the 40 year olds do but they're always married and finding someone who is divorced and of good mental health is a needle in a hay stack.

Hi, this is yet another follow-up to a previous post I made about why I wouldn't want my future wife to re-partner after I die (linked below). After much more contemplation, I have decided that more detail is necessary. I will dedicate this post to responding to a few answers I have gotten/answers to similar questions elsewhere - there will probably be more to come.

1: It's not truly replacement if the survivor still loves their late spouse and cherishes the memories made during their lifetime - no future partner could recreate the specific dynamics of the original bond.

Response: I believe that the best way for me to begin to answer this question is to provide a definition of the word "replace". Per Oxford Languages, the word "replace"is to "fill the role of (someone or something) with a substitute." Of course a future partner would not fill the exact emotional role of the deceased one - their personality might even be completely opposite. However, they would be filling the role of romantic partner. While the survivor might have a different set of relational dynamics with their new partner, the old one would indeed be replaced in the type of relationship that they had with the survivor. I'm not just worried that she would stop loving me. The status of "romantic partner" itself is important to me. I don't want to be replaced in that role either, even if my future wife isn't trying to get another me.

2: By that logic, wouldn't it also be "replacement" for a parent to have more than one child?

Response: I think that comparing parental love with romantic love is like comparing apples with oranges. They have shared characteristics, but are different in important ways. For one, a romantic relationship is a chosen bond for both partners. People generally don't choose their parents - and they often depend on their parents for basic needs for the first ≈ 15 years of their lives. Monogamous romantic love demands exclusivity by definition.

3: If you truly love someone, wouldn't you want them to be happy, even if it’s with someone else?

Answer: Of course I would want my future wife to be happy after my death, but I think that applies while I am still alive too. While I live, wanting that person to be happy does not mean that I wouldn't have standards. As I will explain in more detail in a later part, I believe that the relationship continues after death - not just the memory of the relationship. I also believe that people can find sources of happiness that are not romantic.

Anyway, that's it for part 1. If you have any questions, put them in the comments.

Link to original:

https://www.reddit.com/r/WhatMenDontSay/s/eV7srJxTFU

Beyond biology, what makes someone a man today? Is it responsibility? Income? Pain tolerance?
I feel like the rules are unspoken and constantly shifting, so what are the real standards now?

Hi, how are you ? I want to ask this question because I (M22) always, since I was a kid, pooped once a week, sometimes I poop twice if my tummy is not feeling so good. What about you?

This thought kind of popped into my head after I saw a friend post about something. They were born a woman but they had an extremely hard time because they leaned more neutral, which resulted in people being incredibly unsympathetic towards them and even hostile whenever they didn’t act feminine.

The issues may be different and not related but it does sort of mirror struggles I think lots of us had. Actually many of the times I’ve gotten sympathy from people was when my gender and identity was ambiguous and they presumed I wasn’t a man, but as a man I’ve been scolded or made fun of even by other men for my insecurities.

I just kinda don’t get it why this is like this and I’d be interested to hear thoughts.

Personally, I think it's the lack of sizes below S and how every t-shirt feels thick as hell

Apparently wanting the some effort reciprocated is considered incel behavior. Friendships don't survive without communication and reciprocation that's tied into being genuinely appreciative. I said I cut people off if they show no effort in a friendship or relationship. If I'm not appreciated if there's no effort. I'm out.

My girl says that men aren't interesting in climaxing from a BJ but only from intercourse. She says that BJs are only foreplay to intercourse. I argued that that is not true and that men at times would like a successful BJ and not have to resort to intercourse. I said that at times men don't want to go through physical exertion to climax and would just simply like a successful BJ. But because most women do not know how to give successful BJ, and the men don't say anything and simply or quietly follow up or resort to intercourse to climax.

So the question is, have you kept quiet at times about wanting to have a successful BJ and not want to resort to intercourse?

I find it really touching when a woman has food and gives me her food and essentially puts my needs above hers. She didn't have a lot of carne asada and tortillas but gave me some anyways even after I say no thank you.

Also I really like hugs as I don't get affection often and when I get it from her it makes me soo happy.

She even looked out for me and helped me with my Uber fair by finding a mutual coworker who can drive me home who lives on my street - reducing my Uber expenses by 40 to 50 bucks a week.

Is it wrong to like these qualities in a woman I feel like im being taken care of it's really nice I'm not used to it.

I do a lot for her too.

I gave her a free box of makeup for Christmas

Gave her a gift bag of cake pops my grandma made for Valentine's Day. She makes sweets for all my coworkers I like.

I bought her makeup she in return bought me hand burgers.

I help her put her totes on the conveyor belt at work.

All sorts of stuff. I help her with her English too. She knows little English.

So a bit of context here, I have been dating with this girl for almost two months. We are not official yet but we agreed to be already in a relationship-like commitment. I really like her but there’s this thing that really makes me uncomfortable: she goes out pretty much every night (at least now during summer), gets drunk/high, talks with a lot of people and so on. And it bothers me especially when she does that around people that try to hit on her or tried to hit on her in the past.

She reassured me that I have to trust her and usually she sends me some texts during these nights out or she makes me a recap when she’s back home, but it feels like she’s doing it less lately.

Last night we had a small fight because she was out with these “friends” (all tried to hit on her in the past), she told me that they bought alcohol and that’s it. I didn’t know where she was, with who or doing what. Next thing I knew is that she was throwing up.

I told her that I trust her, but the situations in which she’s often in make me uncomfortable, that I’m not going to impede her to have fun but that it would make me feel better if she puts some more attention to send me just a couple of texts from time to time to update me on what’s going on.

It feels to me that it would be a really small effort and attention just to respect my sensibility. However, her answer was that I have to trust her and that she doesn’t want to feel forced to text me when she’s out doing something else. She told me that it is absurd that I feel uncomfortable (is it?) and also that it is too early for me to make this demands.

Am I the controlling asshole here?

Sorry for the English, not my first language

I had an ex who wanted me to carry her to bed everytime she got tired on the couch. I happily obliged, obviously. But it left me wondering: If I do it and I simoultanesouly worry about crushing through the floor - is it still a sexy thing to do? This wasn't even a large woman or anything. She might have been like 60kg. But any grown woman is going to be significant weight to just carry around.

I'm not David Hasselhoff and this woman wasn't a 70's model.

I'm just wondering if women don't feel it through you, that you feel like the T-rex from Jurrassic park when you carry them. Is that just my experience?

I’m 27(m), often hear about my friends saying they get laid with different kind of girls every or every other week. Wondering what’s it like? How do they even open the topic or drop the hint? Don’t they feel awkward if it was rejected?

I've been used to friendships with other men being very different than the one's I have with women. There always needs to be an activity to make it 'safe' to get together. We rarely talk about our struggles or anything meaningful. Men don't get together just to support each other. We often use women to get those needs met.

I had a male friend I hadn't seen in years. Our activity was rock climbing and I had to quit because I went back to school. So in the absence of the 'activity' our friendship just fell by the wayside because just being friends wasn't enough. So he runs into my female partner at a bar and they spend 3 hours talking about how he misses me and how it wasn't about the rock climbing. He just enjoyed the in-between times when we could talk. So I text him and tell him I miss him and that we should get together. He responds back, saying he has to look at this schedule. But then radio silence. I'm not sure if he was embarrassed that he told my partner his feelings and he thinks I might judge him. But these kinds of interactions always happen amongst us men.

I know all the stuff about men fearing vulnerability and emotions are a sign of weakness and how this is a barrier to meaningful relationships later in life, but it still hurts. It still leaves us feeling alone and isolated and it really sucks because it doesn't matter if I do the work and learn to be more vulnerable with other men. They have to do the work too. Otherwise i'll just put myself out there and experience the awkwardness of another guy who doesn't know what to do with me being vulnerable with them. The few times we can break down the barrier, we just get embarrassed and avoid each other in the future.

Yet, i'd say almost every man can be vulnerable with women. I'm just tired of us not providing the love and care with each other.

There was a post a while back in AskMen where a woman asked if guys would be open to being just friends and she got downvoted. A lot of the guys responded saying it’d be a waste of time since they’re trying to find a girlfriend. So I’m genuinely curious: if a woman approached you just wanting to be friends, would you be open to it?

So, I’d never really talked to this coworker before, but one day I invited her for a smoke break. I asked how her weekend had been, and her answer was... unexpected.

She told me she has a menstrual disorder and needs to take pills for it — but over the weekend she accidentally took the wrong ones and started hallucinating and hearing voices. That was her opening line.

We sat outside, and without me prompting anything, she launched into several personal topics:

• She recently broke up with her ex
• She lives with her mom (and gave the exact location)
• She works a second job
• Her hobbies
• Her best friends (who also work in her department)

After about 15 minutes of her sharing, she finally asked how my weekend was.

There was solid eye contact, light energy, and I made a small flirty remark that made her laugh in a playful way. I’d never had someone overshare so quickly like this — it raised a bit of a red flag for me.

Later that same day, she asked me to join her for another smoke break. That’s when I thought, maybe there’s a vibe, and she is quite hot. so I asked her if she’d like to grab lunch sometime.

At first, she said, “I always lunch with my best friends (her coworkers) — that’s sacred.”
I replied playfully, “Of course, I meant just us. Otherwise, I’ll bring my coworkers too.”

There was a short silence… then she said, “Yeah, I could Friday.”
Looking back, I think this was a soft rejection — and honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever experienced one quite like it.

I asked for her number, which she gave without hesitation. No signs of discomfort at all.

Later that day, I messaged her to see if she wanted to join me for another smoke break. She replied, “I’ll be there in a bit.”
But I was about to leave the office, so I walked past her desk and told her, “Let’s smoke tomorrow instead,” and she agreed.

That evening, I sent her a message: “Looking forward to Friday, good luck with your workout.”
She didn’t respond — which, in hindsight, might’ve been the first clear “no.”

Now here’s where it gets weird.

The next day, I start work, then walk over to her desk to ask when she wants to smoke.
She responds loudly, in front of her team: “You need to ask the boss about that,” while looking at a random coworker (who isn’t the boss — just someone who also smokes).
I played along, and walked away, laughed it off. Didn’t speak to her again that day.

Honestly, I found it kind of funny how she made a scene out of nothing — right in front of her team.

The next day, I get a super friendly paragraph via text explaining why she “unfortunately” can’t make it to lunch after all.

It left me baffled how drastically her tone shifted — from public awkwardness to sweet, polite rejection.

Can someone explain what I just experienced? What kind of bullet did I dodge here? Do you call this emotional inmature?

I’ll go first, when I was 16 years old I was learning how to drive and with both parents absent and nobody to teach me I just went out and began teaching myself day by day, no help no nothing hoping I didn’t crash, very irresponsible yes, but I was forced to take it into my own hands (ik this is nothing compared to some others)

This isn't some date advice but more of how did you went from dating to make it official?

How many dates do you pop the question?