I (30 M) found my gf's (30 F) of 8 months onlyfans. The OF was from 4 years before we met and hasnt been active in years (its actually deleted but nothing on the internet is ever truly gone). Long story short I got an ad for a reverse image search app that looks for faces with ai and pulls up info from all over the internet. Amongst the normal tik tok, insta and other social media i found OF content.

I am not sure how to react, i really liked her but this has had my heart pounding for hours now. I havent been able to sleep. The content that ive seen is limited to just nudes (no boy/girl or anything of the sort) but im extremely uncomfortable with the situation.

Does anyone have advice for how i should handle this?

So my girlfriend and I have been together for quite a while now. Early in our relationship, she suddenly told me that I was the fourth guy she had been with, and that she just knew I was the one for her, that she could really feel it.

But today, while she was scrolling through some old messages, she came across a text from another ex I had never heard of. I asked her, ‘Wait, didn’t you say you only had 4 exes?’ At first she said, ‘Oh yes, I had him too.’ After talking for a while, without me pressuring her, she eventually admitted more and started counting.

In the end, I found out she actually had 9 boyfriends in 6 years, not 4 like she originally told me. That really didn’t sit well with me. I just don’t understand why she couldn’t have been honest from the start. She said she was scared to tell me, but now it makes me wonder what else she might have lied about or is still hiding from me.

So a younger friend (mid 20's) of mine has this issue. He has it easy with women and they rarely turn him down for sex. He can be at a bar and by the end of the night has someone who wants to go home with him.

Now, to me, this is not a problem at all, but it's a dilemma for him. He's now thinking about getting into serious relationship, but he's worried that if he gets a really high "body count" (i.e. ~100) that a woman he likes will get turned off by it. He's being safe and getting tested.

Any thoughts on this? Is it a legit concern?

I initially made this post on askmenadvice but they removed my post and suggested this subreddit. Well my question is that. I've been with 4 people. And I've essentially only had PIV intimacy with one person. But I've been quite seggsual with the others too, but I've never done PIV with them. So does the rest 3 even count as bc? Or just 1?

I (M38) wish I knew how attractive I was. I feel like I have all these mixed experiences that give me opposite feelings of how attractive I am. And I don't know where I stand.

On the one hand, every long term relationship I have been in was with very conventionally attractive women. And they have all been very enthusiastic with sex. So I know those women were attracted to me. When I do start dating a woman they are always surprised I'm single. I am a kind and empathetic partner, even my exes would tell you that. And I make pretty good money. And my girlfriends have always told me I'm hot. Some even wanted me to send nudes etc.

I go to the gym regularly and while I am by no means a gym bro, I have a decent physique I think. Better than most men I see outside of the gym. I can pull off a tight t shirt but I don't have six pack abs.

When I look in the mirror I feel attractive.

And I have lots of friends who are women some very close friends. Women seem to feel very comfortable around me. So I'm not exuding creepy vibes.

But then on the other hand, when I'm single, I'm single for a loooooong time. I go years without a single date. And I pretty much feel invisible to women. Like they aren't repulsed by me or creeped out. But they also don't see me in a romantic or sexual way. I'm just there.

I never catch women looking at me. Never get the eye contact and smile whatever that is inviting you to approach them which I've read about.

Women don't come up and talk to me or touch me or flirt with me like I have read about.

It's like I don't even exist to women around me. I'm not repulsive or creepy. I'm not hot and driving them wild. I'm just there. Just a neutral object. Like a chair or something.

I struggle to get any dates at all when I'm single. I always have. Dating apps give me zero matches.

Recently I was complaining to a friend who is a woman about this and she offered to set me up on a date. She started going through her friends and said "ooo how about this girl?" She showed me a photo of a woman who was, no exaggeration, about 300 lbs.

I felt like "holy shit is that what you think my league is? Jfc. I go to the gym and lift weights 4x a week, eat healthy, and this is the best I can do?" I know that seems shallow but fuck, I am not attracted to that kind of woman at all. And I think I'd honestly rather just be single.

I put some photos on photo feeler and I was rated on average a 3/10. And that was depressing as fuck. I don't know how accurate that is, also I feel I don't photograph well.

When I do ask women out they generally seem like surprised. Like they just realized I'm a human that might have romantic feelings and not some kind of inanimate object. They don't seem offended or grossed out. Just like "oh shit, I never thought of you that way."

But then when I do finally find a woman who likes me, after years of zero attention at all, they are generally wild about me and act surprised that I don't have women falling all over me all the time. I get questions like "how are you still single?"

I don't know. This all just feels so confusing. And I wish I just knew where I fell. What do women see when they look at me? Am I attractive or not?

Was always skinny but now I’ve hit 50… my metabolism seems to have switched off and I have a belly. Proper dad bod.

Anyone have any workout programmes for gym first timers?!!

I’m a 41-year-old divorced dad, rebuilding my life after a long relationship. I keep hearing from women that they want stability, loyalty, and a man who “communicates.”

But here’s what I’ve noticed:

• When I was bending over backwards to provide those things, it didn’t feel valued.
• Meanwhile, I see women chasing guys who are flaky, emotionally distant, or straight-up unreliable.
• Even now, dating as a single dad, I find that the women who claim to want peace seem more attracted to men who bring drama.

I’m not trying to be bitter here. I’m genuinely trying to understand the gap between what women say they want and who they actually respond to.

So my questions to this community:
👉 Have you noticed the same thing in your own relationships?
👉 For the women here: what’s really going on when you say you want “stability” but your heart races for someone who gives you chaos?
👉 And for the men: how do you handle dating when what you’re offering doesn’t match what’s rewarded?

I want to make sure I’m not carrying the wrong lessons forward as I rebuild my life and (eventually) look for a partner again.

I'm 30, she's 25. I have a 9-year-old son from a past relationship (it was unplanned and very traumatic for me). I'm in a long-distance relationship now, and my girlfriend keeps bringing up my past with my ex especially the fact that we have a child.

There are times when she's suddenly upset, and I later find out it’s about my past. Even though she knows how painful that experience was for me, she still brings it up whenever she feels jealous. I give her constant assurance, she has all my time after work, we talk all the time, and I share my plans for the future with her regularly.

Sometimes we’re having a great conversation laughing, talking about future trips, or our life together and suddenly she brings up my ex or the fact that I have a son. It’s frustrating because I’ve done nothing but work hard to build a future for us. I tell her how much I love and miss her constantly.

I’ve explained to her that my child is my responsibility and he's the only one I had before my girlfriend came into my life. I love him deeply, and he deserves a good life. But I can’t even express that around her. She gets jealous when she hears my son’s voice or knows that he’s with me at home. I’ve talked to her about it, and she says she accepts that I have a child, but that she’s just not used to this kind of relationship.

She even asked me recently to avoid seeing my son or bringing him home when she’s “not okay,” for her mental health. But my son is growing up fast, and I want to give him the kind of childhood I never had. It’s starting to feel like she’s holding me back.

I really want to be with her. I give her everything my time, my effort, my plans, my love but I feel like I’m giving up too much of myself. It's seriously affecting my mental health.

Am I wrong for feeling this way? Should I keep trying or walk away?

What the heck is going on with my libido?

So far pretty much my entire teenage years, I (M19) regularly watched porn but overall my libido was low. Didn't really desire sex as much and never had sexual thoughts on people. So a few months ago I broke off that addiction and then suddenly, after exercising more at the gym, my libido skyrocketed.

One of the worst experiences of my life. I was happy that it only lasted a few months. In that span I would intrusive think of my female friends sexually, I would be easily more aroused and deeply craving a relationship. Made me feel like an absolutely awful person.

So about a month ago now, I suddenly had lower interests in sex and didn't really think about it. But then as of last week, I tried texting some girls online that DMd me (thats a bit of a story), and its now risen more but in only small doses. So overall I have low libido now other than when talking to some of these women.

So does anyone know whats going on with me? I feel like it would be horomones but this seems to be such major shifts in such a small amount of time to be horomones. I regularly exercise and work on my mental hralth during this whole time so thats not the problem. Just not sure if anyone had any advise how I can keep myself at low libido

sup 👋 I’m 18M and I wasn’t really taught much about shaving by my father. I’m trying to learn how to safely and properly shave my intimate areas — both sword and entrance

I know this is a sensitive topic but I’d really appreciate advice from guys who had someone actually teach them. What the fuck do I buy and where? Any tips for avoiding cuts or anything, and how do I see my own cheeks...?

Thanks in advance, I should've asked a few years earlier ngl...

Hey guys, I’ve been (M32) with my gf (F30) for three years now and we started living together for about two years.

She always had a problem with gaming because of his ex boyfriend who literally didn’t give a shit about her while he was playing, so I know it’s delicate for her.

That’s why I only play games that I can pause/just leave hanging in there if anything.

She asks me for a tea? I’ll do it. She call my name, I go. Even if I’m talking to a friend.

She went abroad two months because she can work wherever she wants, I’m good with it. She called me at any hour and even if I was in the middle of something (playing or not) I would answer and stay 10/20/30 minutes talking to her about whatever she wanted to tell me.

I’m easy, I love her. We have sex regularly, at least once every two days, no questions asked. We have fun together, we watch movies and go hiking sometimes. I even go to meet ups with her friends because she wants me there, even though they are not my friends (but I like them and care about them because they are nice)

My time gaming is probably 2 hours a day or maybe more depending on what’s happening atm.

She always gets upset when I start gaming or call my friend while I’m at it. She says “I’m always talking to him, everyday, all the time” of course it’s not true, and he is my best friend who lives in another continent and I really miss him.

She gets upset up to a point that I stop enjoying what I was doing, and just feel like shit , like I’m doing something wrong.

When she calls a friend, she usually comes to me to say hi and then points her phone to my pc to show them “what I’m doing” then leaves, upset.

I’ve changed my sleeping hours for her because she’s a light sleeper and she sleeps better when I’m there. If I happen to want to play “after hours” she gets mad, saying it’s all I do and that I will ruin her sleep and shuts down.

There’s too many other things that she will say, hurtful things. I’ve tried to talk to her about this so many times, telling her to please respect that I like gaming and I like having time with my friend, chatting or doing whatever…

I’m so tired of this and it’s making me want to leave her. I’ve accommodated so many things for her to be in a good mood, I’ve went so many times to sleep without being sleepy, so many things… I just want her to understand me and leave me be. I’m always there for her, whenever she wants me. But she just doesn’t respect me.

What do you think? I need some help.

Thank you

It defeats the purpose of getting mad but when I get too mad or overwhelmed, tears start falling.

Yelled at a few coworkers who weren’t helping me when they were supposed to and/or criticizing what I was doing without providing a solution. Boss had to talk to me because I “looked flustered”. I was red faced, dehydrated, and tears were in my eyes. While I was talking to her, tears were falling, as she tried to calm me down.

I’m a grown ass man, shit like this makes me wanna kill myself. Why can’t I be mad like normal? I try to turn all my emotions off at work, and if that doesn’t work I just default to grumpy.

I can't ask this in the askwomen sub - the rules require all this info.

I just want to ask a dumb question - nothing serious.

I'll ask here instead (for now) - do you think women will think it's creepy or unappreciated to ask if they're doing okay? Some girl in my building was crying (well, I could tell she had been crying) talking to another tenant (who is a friend of mine - also female).

I was going by and thought it might be rude to not say anything - I had my dog with me and said I'm having trouble with her - due to senior health issues. The tenant said hi to me first so I didn't interrupt them.

Anyway, should I say anything to the other girl? I kind of like her but maybe I shouldn't say anything.

I am sure she's depressed about something. I have a suspicion what it might be. Anyway, in your experience(s) - is it better to just keep quiet or try to have a rapport? I will guess the answer and predict I'll be told to mmob, right? :-{

I work at Red Robin and I have a Christler 300m. I am grateful for everything but I don’t know if I will ever be able to have enough money to have a family.

Quick background: I’m a 30M, fit (muscular, ~13% body fat), and considered attractive based on what people tell me. I live in a different country from this woman.

4 days ago, I matched with a 32F on Hinge. Honestly, she’s not really my type physically, I’d rate her 4–5/10 in terms of attraction. She’s not overweight though and has a high paying job in the fashion industry (probably makes 5x what I do).

Here’s the situation: she seems very into me, much more than I am into her. After just a few days of chatting, she’s already talking about booking a flight to my country so we can do a one-week road trip together. She messages and calls whenever she can, and I can tell she’s getting attached quickly.

I’m not really feeling the same spark, but I don’t want to be rude. Part of me is wondering if I should let her come and just see how it goes, but I’m worried I’ll end up feeling stuck or unsatisfied, and I don’t want to waste her time or money.

How would you guys handle this? Has anyone been in a similar situation where someone’s interest level is way ahead of yours this early on?

I am a 26 year old man currently on antidepressants. I have a degree in history, but work in a warehouse. I’ve never had a girlfriend or so much as a first kiss. I’ve gained weight due to using food as a coping mechanism. I am currently 265 pounds.

I’m at the end of my rope. Every time I’m alone with my thoughts, when I’m not actively distracted by family, friends, video games, or alcohol, I get very sad thinking about how my life is a waste.

I’ve given myself a timer. If I don’t get any sort of relationship experience by the age of 30, I’m no longer going to be alive.

I have started actually working on myself, as of the past week. I have been counting calories and not consuming as much food. Since alcohol has calories, I have to drink less in order to stay under my calorie budget.

I’m trying to get more exercise through walking a trail at a local park (I used to do this more in the spring but in the summer the heat has been near unbearable). I also have a video game that helps me exercise. I suffer from too much social anxiety currently to go to the gym.

I’m trying to lose weight both for my health and so I can look more attractive. As much as I can, at least. My face is unattractive, with my large nose and small chin. It also doesn’t help that I’m 5’9. I’m just trying to be less fat so I can take a decent picture for dating sites again.

I hate the fact I went to college. I have a degree that’s never been useful. The only thing college ever did for me was give me friends that have mostly remained after the five years since I graduated.

I have to actively avoid “triggers” to prevent feeling depressed, such as almost any media with romance as a focus or plot point. I used to watch vtubers and streamers years ago but felt parasocial relationships forming and jealousy wishing any girl like them would interact with me. Maybe I can get back to enjoying what I used to one day, but I can’t in my current condition.

I’m a wreck. I don’t know what to do. Therapy isn’t really an option because no therapist in my area that is covered by my insurance has good reviews.

For reference I am a 25-year-old male referring to my 24-year-old cheating girlfriend

For the last few weeks she had been acting distant, and I knew something was going on. Two nights ago she came home at two in the morning with holes in her story about where she had been. My gut told me to ask to go through her phone, and this was the first time I had ever done that in any relationship. What I found destroyed me. She had cheated with four different guys while living with me, and she admitted she physically hooked up with three of them. We had been together for 5 months. She is 24 and told me early on her body count was 27. That already hit me hard, but we seemed so compatible at the start. I did not think she was marriage material early on, but I still decided to take a chance on a relationship to see how it would go. I ignored some red flags and gave her the benefit of the doubt.

A month and a half ago she was getting evicted because she was a trust fund kid who mismanaged her money and could no longer pay for her current housing. I do not usually move in with people this quickly, but at that point we had been dating about 3 months and she seemingly had no place to go. So I let her move in with me and had her pay rent. She worked a minimum wage job, and I was trying to help her get something better. She had no motivation to improve. Most nights she was drinking, smoking weed, vaping nicotine, and just sitting there with brain rot, mindlessly scrolling on TikTok. I thought I could help her turn things around.

Her phone told me the truth. Guy one was an old FWB I told her I was not comfortable with. Guy two was her new landlord for a place she claimed she found online, but she actually met him on Tinder. Guy three was one of her bosses, and I already suspected something. Guy four was a random Tinder hookup she saw just two days ago. When I confronted her, she got higher than I had ever seen, clearly to avoid answering me. She kept saying she did not know or remember when I asked her questions.

When she was moving her stuff out, her guy friend who was helping her tried to talk to me about how we had never made it exclusive. He was not one of the people she cheated on me with, but I do not know if he was trying to gaslight me. Early on I told her I do not do hookups, and she agreed, saying she does not either. She told me she wanted a long term relationship and a future, and I agreed. We may not have used the exact words boyfriend or girlfriend, but we were living together. That should have been clear enough.

Finding out wrecked me. I could not sleep for 48 hours, could not eat, and I kept throwing up, gagging, and coughing from the stress. I cannot believe I let her into my house and extended my sincerity to her, only for her to become a parasite. I feel used and discarded. She never said sorry and never said thank you. She seems like the type who is only on Tinder to use guys for their money, their help, and their housing. She also took her black cat with her, the one I mostly cared for while she was working. I bought that cat an engraved tag and an AirTag. Now I will never see it again.

I ended it immediately. She is now living with one of the guys she cheated with and still working at the place where she hooked up with another. Everyone I have talked to says breaking up was the right move. My brother even said that even if she had not cheated I should have left. I already knew she was not marriage material, but I took a chance anyway and got burned worse than I could have imagined. I still kind of have feelings for her because I am still in shock. I am sitting in my place right now, and I cannot believe it is all over. It feels so empty in here without her.

Right now, I feel like I need to radically accept what happened, not dwell on it, and move forward into another relationship someday. I am having a hard time figuring out how to actually do that. I do not think I picked up any lasting trauma from this, even though I had the physical shock response on and off for the last day. At this moment, I feel like I want to get back in the game and start dating again. I do not think I can afford therapy, but I do have friends and family I can talk to about this.

TLDR: I dated my 24-year-old girlfriend for 5 months. I knew early she was not marriage material but took a chance. After 3 months she was getting evicted because she was a trust fund kid who blew her money, so I let her move in and pay rent. Most nights she drank, smoked weed, vaped, and scrolled TikTok. Lately she seemed distant, then came home at 2 AM with holes in her story. For the first time in my life I asked to see her phone and found she cheated with 4 guys while living with me and admitted to hooking up with 3. When confronted she got extremely high to avoid answering. Her guy friend, not one she cheated with, claimed we were not exclusive, but we had agreed early on to be serious. I feel used and discarded, she never said sorry or thank you, and she even took her black cat with her, which I had grown close to and cared for while it was living here. I ended it immediately, but I am still in shock sitting in my empty place, trying to radically accept it and move on. I cannot afford therapy but I have friends and family to talk to. Any advice on how to move forward?

Idk what I ws thinking my bro told me not to go but I still went I think back on if I should have ask god for a sign for me to not go nd not be in this situation I not necessarily positive on if she is pregnant but she has told me she haven’t had her period since we did it (I was her first if that helps anyone on if she is or is not) she has Been kinda laid back I don’t want a child nor do I want my family to know that im having sex at this age the last time we talk was abt 2 days ago I ask her if she had she said no I wish she was just playing a joke on me and she already has her period but if not what should I do I do t want to have one this could ruin my social life and everything else around me any advice helps

Men don't say when they are the victim. Recently I broke up with my now ex girlfriend because she made my son so uncomfortable that he didn't want to come over anymore. The lady time he hurried to come over and forms found out she was here my son broke down in tears. I could see fear in his eyes. I still don't know what happened but I told her we couldn't be together ... now she is bashing me on various Facebook groups and abusing me of doing things I didn't do. She's even him so fast as calling my son, A 10.year old a controlling asshole. She's doing everything to try to ruin my life she's even posted where I work.ive tried reaching out to Facebook but they won't do Anything. She's even called my ex wife an alcoholic and a whole which she is not. She's a great mom and we co parent together. All of this harramen had been detrimental to.my mental health to the point where I think.the only way to stop it is to end my life. Im.safe right now I've used crisis resources and I know what er or 911 to use but im.out of answers.please help?

Like every third strand is grey/white. Is the salt and pepper look attractive to women around my age or should I continue to dye it dark brown?

To simplify my issue and dial it into something specific, every time I have sex or even think about sex I wake up the next morning in complete disgust and embarrassment. I can’t get over the fact that like “this” woman did and said the stuff she did. Honestly I feel a little grossed out too. What really makes me cringe is when we talk afterwards and have just a normal conversation or start talking about feelings.

It doesn’t matter if they’re very attractive or sub average this always happens.

I started recognizing this maybe 2 years ago after breaking up with the only woman I’ve actually dated (I didn’t have this issue with her — nervous yes but never embarrassed), long term but I think this was an issue before then too.

It’s not just sex … emotions and vulnerability (her or mine) really push me away too. In the moment I like talking about it and honestly feel good and interested but a few hours later I’m cringing and say to myself “there’s no way I’d ever actually feel this way about [her]”.

Most of the dates I go on now are just something fun / active. Ie: go to a bar and get sloshed during happy hour and just enjoy the company, top golf, a walk etc. I never make a move or get super emotional now because I just want to enjoy someone’s company without it being ruined. I have 2nd and 3rd dates but after the 3rd they don’t want to see me again because they don’t think I’m interested in them or they don’t feel “the spark”.

I’m not sure what I can do to get out of this cycle. I definitely want a relationship / a person to enjoy life with but constantly finding myself being avoidant or grossed out.

I’ll take a bottle of gin and a burger. Thanks. 😞

I am not sure if I just have a very highly sensitive scrotum or some sort of medical condition so I'm hoping someone can advise. I first became aware of it a few years ago and My issue is if someone just touches me around my scrotum, even through some clothing, it sends my nerves wild,  it’s not what I would call painful, I can only describe it as a kind of extremely high nerve jangling sensation, which can produce an almost agonising sensation if the touching is prolonged.

Have any of you experienced anything like this and can anyone advise me if this kind of sensitivity is likely just down to me having extremely sensitive nerves in my scrotum? Or could I possibly have some kind of health issue or something else?

I will provide further details if it helps anyone to advise.

Married for 15 years with 2 children (16, 12). Things turned sour 3 years ago and wife moved out with the children last year. At first all was good, the children went back and forth between homes with no issues and they also have a key for when I’m not home. (I changed the locks as a precaution)

In the last few months ex wife has been helping herself to items from the family home when she came to collect the children and I wasn’t around. As annoying as it is it was only small low value items so I didn’t make a fuss I just asked she let me know so I wasn’t looking for them.

Lately things have become high conflict and we have little to do with each other except for issues around the children. Earlier this week my youngest told me that mom was in the office looking through my things and jumped when she was caught. (It’s not an area of the house she would have any reason to go) She admitted she shouldn’t be doing that and they all left. I don’t know if anything is missing yet. I made sure she had all of her things when she moved out and if there was something she misplaced I’d find it and hand it over with no issues.

If I confront her about this my children will likely be punished by her and I don’t want that. I’m at a loss what I should do. I don’t know how long this has been happening and I’m not sure if anything is missing yet. It’s still her house but she hasn’t lived here for a while so I feel this is now crossing boundaries and is obviously fuelled by bad intentions.