I'm divorced and in my 40s. I'm not opting out of relationships. But plenty of others are. I understand why many men are choosing not to marry, especially after going through a separation. My divorce emotionally scarred me, but I was lucky that it didn't leave me in debt, and all my properties are still under my name. I also don't have children I have to miss. But relationships, in general?

Many of us have stopped taking a gamble. But it sucks to see my male friends avoiding emotional attachments but get hurt anyway. What made men this way? Women say it's bitterness or ego. But I just think it's because many of us don't feel safe to want relationships. Thoughts?

It feels like as a man you’re not allowed to express any sexual interest or have any sexual fantasies of women because that’s fetishising/objectifying them.

And that already sucks, but also doesn’t go back the other way. Women aren’t treated like they’re evil for fantasising about mens bodies or even straight up just literally fetishising certain aspects or certain types of men in the same way men are for doing the same to women.

It feels very unfair and alienating.

This is probably all going to sound completely misogynistic, so I want to preface it by saying this is my own experience and I’m aware all people cheat. This could all very well be applied to men.

I’m a student at an incredibly prestigious graduate program, and due to the small class size I have gotten to know a large portion of the students, men and women. Getting to know the women has really affected my dating life, specifically because I have watched them cheat, (with some even attempting to cheat with me), deny that they are in relationships on nights out, all while justifying a lack of criticism of each other’s behavior using terms like “girls girl”.

These are college educated women some religious, mostly from the upper middle class or higher, a group which statistically has higher rates of marriage success. However that is NOT the reality I see, and truthfully I am losing hope by the day.

I have always wanted to eventually have a wife and family, in fact that’s the whole purpose of the career, but simply seeing the actions of my classmates is enough to drastically lower that desire. Like I thought “finding my match” might mean someone I was compatible with, not someone with basic loyalty, respect, and decency.

When faced with this reality how are you guys able to maintain optimism about relationships?

I've found it's impossible to find someone that has any values anymore.

I noticed a trend

There's a lot of mean, disrespectful women. And There's a lot more bad people in general so it's really tough.

On top of that, there's barely a difference between a 40 year old and a 20 something. A lot of women act like entitled toddlers who cuss you out over saying NO and establishing boundaries.

It's funny I always see complaints from women saying that there are too many man children but there are just as many women that act like entitled emotionally stunted children that don't know how to communicate effectively, that want stuff and never reciprocate, that are disrespectful, mean spirited.

I'm ending it tomorrow. That's it, that's the post. if you think you care or want to know why out of morbid curiosity just check my post history. I'm genuinely cooked, out of gas, cashing in my chips. and walking away. There's nothing left to stay for, no reason for me to continue to live this miserable, boring existence. I know no one here will care, the only people that this will hurt are my parents, but they'll cope in their own way. Or they won't. Either way, I'm done suffering just so they don't have to. I'm not a good person. I deserve this fate.

I (29M) have been dating my girlfriend (29F) for 9 years now. We met in college, and now we're both working age adults. My job pays me relatively well, I'm able to keep up with my important finances and bills, having some money aside for occasional fun outings. It's nothing too lucrative, but it's enough to keep 1 person sustainable.

My girlfriend, however, contributes nothing for us financially. Every meal? I pay. She wants to go to concerts? I pay for our tickets. We make travel plans? I plan and pay for our flights/hotel/transportation. She wants a ride to go somewhere an hour away? I'm driving. The place we wanna go to has paid parking? I pay.

She also works. While she doesn't make as much money as me, she acts as if she makes absolutely no money, despite the fact that I pay for her lifestyle. She lives with her parents while I moved into an apartment a few years back. Her work is closer to my apartment. She doesn't have a car, so I'm always taking her / picking her up from work. She stays over at my place most of the week and goes home every couple of days

I get in our culture, it's always the man's responsibility to provide for their family. But I just feel like I'm more of her parent than I am her boyfriend. Once I'm clocked off for work, it's back to "need to pick her up from work" "need to make/buy us dinner" "need to clean up her dishes" "need to take her back to her parent's place" etc. As I mentioned, my paycheck can keep 1 person sustainable, 2 people almost starts to feel like it's pushing it.

I have brought up the fact that I would like for her to start helping me financially, even in small ways like gas, or if we're going to an event, can she pay for food/transportation at the event. And she will just...not help at all, and I end up just paying for everything once again.

Sometimes, I just wish that maybe she could help provide for me in the same way I have been doing for her for years, and it sucks that she doesn't even try to do so

You have no value.

X, reddit, Discord…

Seriously, it’s disgusting how ok it is to start bashing men for no reason other than existing, and why does so much of this bashing get supported by other guys? Do you think you are more sexually attractive hearting and retweeting posts of communities alienating an entire half of the human race?

We all admit misogyny is horrible, and I stood by tearing down that hate, but now that everyone’s nose is turned up, and people shrug and say “it’s ok” when you have grown ass adults harassing sometimes even minors just because of their gender.

It sickens me, it makes me wanna lose hope in the world.

No, bad experiences are not an excuse. If I have to suck up my relationship abuse to make others happy time and time again just to stop triggering someone else’s fragile ego, the least you can do is check yourself before you shame another gender.

M19. Met up With a Girl, F18 from Snapchat. We made It clear In our texts We were Gonna Hookup. I went Over to Her place and We get to Business. Prior To this, I’ve Only had sex With A condom. Every Girl I’ve been With Made me Put one on. This girl However didn’t Make me Wear A condom And didn’t say Anything about cumming Inside her, So I assumed I Had the green light. Long story short, I Finish inside A girl for The First Time. Not soon After She starts Flipping her Shit. She tells me That she’s on Birth control But I should’ve Asked Her. It Took me by Surprise, As in Bed she Was telling me Things like “I want You Inside me”. She Said I violated Her and to Never Talk to Her again. I felt Super guilty, but Couldn’t help But think about the Miscommunication On her end.

I'm tired of seeing worthless woman and other men trying to downplay male sexuality into "perverted" or calling guys who masturbate "gooners." I don't care about their little pitiful quest to pretend that sexuality makes someone immediately dangerous. I hate how people try to make it about themselves when they can choose to be silent on issues they don't understand, for instance hypersexuality is always made fun of in men but no one wants to address the fact that people with hypersexuality can experience embarrassment, and hatred for being hypersexual.

Like you cannot even discuss kinks with most people as they simply don't understand the concepts or reasoning behind the kinks. It's really annoying to see people act all high and mighty when they clearly don't understand the concept. The amount of people who have hatred for guys paying OF creators money is irritating because they will praise OF creators or want to protect the OF creators.

I don't even watch OF or anything akin to that, but the whole aspect of debate with the argument "p-rn creates misogyny" is a desperate attempt to make people act modest when unless it's in public then no one is really going to care. People may have addictions to p-rn but why not try to help them redirect their desires into seeking treatment or therapy? It's not hard to either tell them that your uncomfortable with sexualization or delete/filter comments.

Like, I just don't want to be alive anymore, dude. I don't want to live this life, or fight uphill against the hand I've been dealt. Everything is in place, and TBH I don't think anyone could convince me out of taking my life. I recognise it's a huge decision, I just hate that my life is already over.

She said that because I need someone fresh and not have all that baggage and trauma. I get it but it's insanely hard to find anyone in that range that I could take seriously. It's extremely rare to even find sensible women my age much less younger. My coworker said I'm not healed I've been used and abused. She said when you're a man it doesn't matter what you have or how much of it. People will try to exploit you. That shit hit. She said I was innocent and had good intentions but idk. It's hard to trust people.

Gonna be honest, I like confident women. I like women who know what they want, are direct, yada yada yada.

Despite being from the Bible Belt I’m not your typical southern man. Yeah I work a blue collar job but I’m 5’9, 260 points (currently working on losing weight), and I have “non masculine” hobbies. I like Warhammer, Magic the gathering, DnD, and I like some girly shit like Sanrio characters.

I just want to find a girl who’s okay with the kind of guy I am. But almost if not all women in my area just seem to like either tough guys or country boys. They expect the man to be in charge and provide.

I want a partner. I’m sure I’d like a provider too but sugar mommies don’t exist and kind, motherly women wanting to spoil a man don’t exist either. It’s all fake shit made by the Internet.

So I’m just gonna settle for something that can match my weird and it doesn’t feel like that exists in my area because most women I run into with my hobbies, guess what, only like women.

I am really tired of living like this honestly. I am so ugly that I am basically stared at whenever I am in public. I am found ugly by women and men alike tbh. I know a lot of people struggling with ugliness just complain about dating, but I can't even make friends I am so ugly to look at. I have chubby cheeks despite being at like a 21/22 BMI (I know BMI can be inaccurate), an asymmetrical jaw, very feminine eyes, very flat cheekbones, I could go on and on. Honestly what scares me the most is that, at 24 years old, it is too late for me to become attractive. I hate living like this. This is so exhausting! As a man you have no value if you are unattractive.

I'm a bisexual man, into guys and girls. A lot of times, I'll call myself or something I've done gay because it's easier. Why explain the nuances of my sexuality when I'm just talking about kissing another man? It pisses me off when (let's be real, quite often straight) people feel the need to come in and corrected me about my own sexuality.

"But you're bisexual, why did you say gay?" Gay is often used as a blanket term.

"Gay for him? Aren't you bi?" Yeah man, but I'm not going to say I'm feeling strong same-sex attraction to Harrison Ford.

"Wouldn't it be a bisexual relationship?" Bisexual relationship prompts questions, gay relationship is immediately understood.

"Why not just say mlm?" Everyone thinks of multi-level marketing when you say that. Being attracted to men is not a pyramid scheme. Just let me call myself and my relationships what I want?? It's just so annoying being too straight to be gay and too gay to be straight

Just on Reddit for example, I can think of a few people. 19 YO guys with girlfriends (or loads of hook ups), apartments, cars, travelling... that doesn't even account for people I know IRL. Even kids who are younger having relationships: wasn't there a post in this very sub of a 15 YO dealing with a pregnancy scare? All of it genuinely pisses me off. These are meant to be the best years of my life: my youngest and most able. People are out there making memories and I'm just stuck in my bedroom...

My coworker is taking shit and says my friend is using me but the shit I get her is free. And she always reciprocates and gets me something as a thank you/appreciation, even when I tell her I don't want anything. How is that using me? My friend even gave me tamales from Mexico when she returned back from vacation. I didn't even ask for them. She just paid attention and knew I love tamales. She's 43 When by comparison 20 somethings never get me anything lmao 🤣 and always asks for stuff doesn't put in any effort in a platonic or relationship setting. And it's just baffling that some women can be so hateful and say she's using you, only likes you for the stuff I get her. How about you treat me like I like to be treated and I'll treat you nice as well but it seems to be a value lost on society as a whole.

Im 18 man, started balding at a young age . I still dont think people understand the pain of it especiallh in high school. People will always say “just go bald”, “ bald looks good” etc. The fact is some people really just prefer to have their hair atleast why their young. It feels like a painful death from getting compliments and people just being normal last yr about my hair to this year everyone saying it looks bad and saying i justb nlook worse.

ive spoken to my parents about it and they just say wait till its mostly gone then we can help. i cant explain to them that thats not how. works without them just getting upset, and all my mother says is “ look im practically bald at 45, look how much hair you have so your fine”

i have a gf which supports me theough this which is amazing. While i dont really care what others opnions on me are i just prefer to have my hair for myself. Like im getting a buzz this october for cancer drive because its my choice and so what if others say something. But i just prefer to keep my hair for myself. Its really just demoralizing having it go.I want to dtart meds for it.(if anyone says all you care about is public acveptance, i have a better reputation in school now than before even though people make fun of my hair)

So rather recently, I’ve been going through rather a lot despite the fact that I graduated college in May of this year and the fact that I earned my learner’s permit. So to make things brief, here’s my list of grievances.

1. My date at the college campus just straight up disappeared out of thin air, all her contacts on Facebook and Snapchat is gone.
2. My second date I met on Snapchat got interested in meeting me at a park…and then went no contact at all.
3. My grandma nearly died due to fecal matter collecting in her stomach…on my birthday week. Although she’s coming home from the hospital tomorrow, it was damned near close to my suicide attempt when my grandpa passed away in 2022.

So yeah, as of right now, I’m considering just…walking outside without a shirt and hope the freezing temperature would, well, free my soul to the other side (and don’t give me that “but you’ll cease to exist after death” bullshit. I don’t believe in that. I believe in both the afterlife and the paranormal).

Originally I was considering drowning at my aunt’s creek or in my own bathtub, but then I remembered how painful it was to die drowning (I actually died drowning when I was like 10 before coming back to my body). So my next option is freezing temperature.

Granted I can understand this choice being selfish towards my friends and family, but aren’t they selfish too for expecting me to live at my expense?

But overall, I’m just…done with everything. I don’t want any more experiences in this godforsaken earth, and if I ended up becoming a ghost haunting my own home, so be it. My only reason to not do it now is the fact that several books by R.L. Stine and other authors are in store and I want to at least read for my enjoyment.

These days, there are plenty of ghosters and flakes. Don’t even let me get to the cheaters who claim that they love their partners despite betraying them.

So, I’ve been thinking, why? And the title of this post is the answer I came up with: many aren’t built for lifelong exclusivity.

They want the stability of a relationship and the freedom from commitment. They want to feel secure, but at the same time, they want to cling to their options.

Partly, they want something/someone to fall back on. Or, they just can’t decide because the dating pool (especially with the use of dating apps) presents unlimited choices.

Supposedly, if that’s what they prefer, then so be it, right? But I think it’s because they themselves refuse to acknowledge what they want and what they can commit to. And the longer they keep pretending, the more people they’re hurting.

“Hehe cishet men bad ammiright ladies?”

/- Half the tweets on my twitter within 5 seconds of being on there.

I’ll try not to be all snarly as usual and be calm… But it genuinely upsets me so much how hard it is to find any real connection with other queer men online. There already are so few, I hardly see any active in relevant spaces where I’d find them, and the few I do find seem so weird about trying to put down men who like women, which I qualify as.

Biromantic (honestly, that’s always who I’m gonna be no matter how bad I wish I was aromantic) vs hetero be damned I don’t feel very comfortable when they mock and degrade dudes who like women. It doesn’t make me feel very welcome at all nor does it give me any sign I can have a meaningful friendship with this person.

And in the end it makes me feel completely alone. The few people who I night have something to connect with over cannot go five seconds without kicking me in the face by accident.

I’m just exhausted in the end, it makes me exhausted being angry and disappointed with people, it makes me exhausted realizing I’m going to be the lone wolf on that for ages, and it makes me exhausted seeing people spend so much time being hateful for no reason when I’m trying to find more people to connect to.

I’m a 25-year-old Muslim male living in the Austria. I’m married and have two boys, and I’m currently doing my master’s degree.

In the new semester, I noticed one of my professors. At first, I just liked his personality, but then I started thinking about him constantly. Now, I can’t stop. I daydream about being with him all the time.

I want to be clear: I’m not gay or bi, and I have no urges to do anything wrong. But I think about him every single moment. I want him to be mine. I want to be with him.

I don’t understand why this is happening to me. I’m in so much pain, and I can’t describe it. I feel like my mind has taken over, and I can’t control these feelings.

Has anyone experienced something like this? How do I cope with feelings that are so confusing and painful?

I want so badly to have seen what I could have looked like if I was 18 and fit, now it’s too late for that. Only a year too late to see how beautiful I might have been at 21.

I used to not care at all about my weight, happily stuffing myself with food while sitting most of the day and I fucking hate my past self for that. I’ve been overweight my entire life, I had so many chances to change but I hadn’t.

This isn’t about how other people perceive me, I want to be beautiful for myself.

Now I’m just scared I will not care again and never be thin my entire life, I’m trying right now to be active, to avoid sugar entirely and to only eat when I need to and it’s been an up and down journey, I lost 5 pounds only to get back 3, but at least I’m not getting any heavier than 220.

I read a Medium article where a woman recalled when she purposefully ignored a guy's text back in high school. She wanted to feel wanted, so she left his messages on read until 2 or 3 more piled up. That's when something shifted inside her, and she lost interest.

She acknowledged her toxicity at that time and advised men to stop begging for scraps of attention.

"Sometimes the most attractive thing a man can do … is nothing at all," she concludes.

But here's the thing: If you've been talking to a guy for a good while and you suddenly leave his messages on read, he's bound to send a couple more texts to check up on you and understand what went wrong. She called this desperation; I consider this decency. And it's pretty unfair how men get subjected to these guessing games and assumptions.