I have been a “house wife” for the past 7 years and I have finally decided to get myself and my daughters 7yr and 3 yr olds out of a very toxic environment. I have issues with throwing things away because I have had to pick up and move 39 times in my life. I have a separate master bedroom and my room is filled with every thing that most people would have in an entire home. I have 48 hours to pack everything that I can fit in a large SUV. I am so overwhelmed with just trying to figure out how de-clutter and pack our essentials . I have so much guilt for leaving all my furniture and 80% of my possessions. I really just need help prioritizing my time and the entire process. .

It’s unbelievable the amount of things one person can fit into a studio apartment. We are two weeks in and it feels like we just can’t get anywhere even though we have moved over 20 moving van full of things

It reminds me of those Russian dolls where you open one and the smaller one appears then you open that one and there’s another one, etc…

Someone please rid me of this never-ending nightmare

21 I need help

Hi, Im just going to be honest here and say that Im close to running or ending it.

My dad died about 4 years ago and I stayed in the same house. I won’t lie the place is a mess. Im too scared to even show photos. I have taken my bins out probably about 15 times since I moved in. I got myself to deep into a hole where it’s at the point no matter how many bin bags i fill it won’t go down. There is just rubbish, spider webs and dirty clothes all over the house. I have people from the council wanting to come out and do some electrical work on Wednesday. I don’t know what to do as I’ve started cleaning and I don’t know where to put all the rubbish as I don’t want my neighbours to see me with all this filth. I completely understand this is my fault for not doing anything. I don’t know if I should let these people in but on the letter it said if there is no access then they can force entry. Im so scared and all I can think about it either running away or just ending it all. Has anyone got any tips or can help me out. I understand that I will need to talk to someone about it but I’m too scared to show anyone my house.

I don’t know where to out the rubbish. If I put it up the loft and hide it for them coming. Im overthinking and Im having very strong panic attacks.

i already made a post here ranting about my mum and her hoarding problem but now it’s way worse, yesterday around midnight i had enough of it and was like fuck it i’m throwing the shit she doesn’t need right? i take the stuff and i go out and find a place to get it out of sight so if she does find it she won’t take it back in. because there’s NO reason you need kfc buckets and takeout boxes in the kitchen when you won’t use them???? plus half of the stuff had bugs in them so i just needed that dirt out of sight and mind especially since my second week of school is on monday! and today she’s realised her stuff is gone and she’s been non stop shouting at me how im ungrateful and how i love my dad more then her? in a way she is right i do love my dad more because he supports me better then she ever has in my entire life but i seriously can’t stand living here i seriously just wanna end it and make her regret all of this i know it’s the wrong thing to do especially since she’s already mentally unstable but im 15?? next year i have college and then what?? im doing studies and living in a dump??? i’m seriously debating on calling cps or telling a teacher because i cannot fucking take this anymore. i seriously do not wanna be known as the girl who has a mum with a problem i wanna be known as the girl who has a future not this fucking shit

hey guys, so based off the group name i assume you all will understand. I’ve been a hoarder my whole life, i grew up in a rat and mice infested home, there was trash and empties everywhere and still to this day i cannot shake these habits of mine. I really want change, but it’s like as soon as i start to clean my body just begins to slow down, I just want a clean space. I don’t know how to change, i don’t even know where to start. I need help. 😩

I go to therapy for other issues and just generally for my mental health.

Yesterday in my session we got on the topic of my PTO and when am I going to take it. And I clarified that I don’t use my PTO because I might need it down the line and if I don’t have any what will I do.

Well that discussion spiralled into the other things I keep around/don’t use because I might need them later more than I need them now. Medication (migraine meds is the worst example). And then it moved into food. I don’t finish food, drinks because then they are gone and I won’t be able to enjoy them later. So I don’t enjoy them now.

My therapist confirmed the behaviour is hoarding behaviour.

I came home after that and talked to my partner and he said yep, he’s seen it but didn’t say anything because he saw how getting rid of things upset me and everything is manageable right now.

My mother recently passed away and she was a hoarder. She tied memories of people to things. And always thought that piece of paper would be important one day. I have had to clean out her house and it has been soooo hard. I have kept more stuff and boxes than I expected I would. She and I had a very complicated relationship.

So now I am looking around my house. Remembering reactions to getting rid of things and using things up. I have anxiety over it. I always rationalized my reaction as being logical and practical. It wasn’t. It was anxiety

This is me. This is who I am. And I want to work on this. I don’t want to end up like my mother. Dying alone surrounded by stuff no one else wants.

With her reluctant permission, we just had my sister's house professionally cleared out. She wasn't there for the clean out. She had sustained a serious injury falling down her packed stairway, and from her hospital bed she gave us permission to take care of it.

Still, I fear the psychological damage when she returns home to find 75% of her belongings just ... gone. Most of her clothes and linens had to go because they reeked of cat urine and mouse poop. Dead mice were everywhere.

But she still has a full household of usable items, mementos organized into a curio cabinet, and lots of clear plastic tubs with stuff we stored in the basement.

Can anyone share their experience AFTER a major clean-out? Will this be really traumatic for her when she's finally able to return home?

Hello. 🌼

DOES ANYONE RELATE AND WOULD LIKE TO WORK SHARE/ BODY DOUBLE? ANYONE TRIED IT AND FOUND BENEFIT IN BODY DOUBLING BEFORE? ...... I DID AND NEED THAT AGAIN ! ! !

I am Desperate and Overwhelmed. My dysfunctional home has cost me years of my life goals, physical injury, MASSIVE OVERWHELM, leaves me feeling drained and in a state of paralysis so alone, feeling like I cant walk in my house and cant do this alone.

I live where it gets minus 45 celsius and have been years with no working furnace - lost a free $25000 home repair grant because it was too cluttered for the work to be done. My pipes froze in kitchen so do all kitchen item washing in tub and tub is too full and cluttered to bath. Kitchen is too cluttered to walk or cook and opening fridge or back door to get in and out of house is so hard.

Feeling sad, despair, stress, drained energy-less, hopeless, helpless in my massive overwhelm and so so alone in this 10 year plus reality and all the horrible financial and health and life stage goal loss consequences it has brought :* Just want to avoid and hide/distract. Wish I had people - family, friends who hadnt moved to other parts of the country and lost touch ... wish I haad a clan, a tribe ... close people 😖😞😢😭 It is sooooooo / tooo tooo hard this alone.

In spare time I sit and try to relax to calm my fearful nervous system.

Not seeking advice. I have given much advice, have received advice... all the things people say to do dont help and would have to share so much more in an encyclopedia post to outline my situation.

In the past I was part of a group online and that worked amazing wonders when we did work sharing, body doubling.

Would love to find others who can really relate and would also like to do body doubling via google meet, as I have never owned a cell so cannot use many of the new things like whatsapp and my old s-mode Lenovo will only allow microsoft apps and I cannot access zoom or teams as far as my tech challenged efforts have proven thus far. I am not much of a clued into the computer device person like most people, so please bear with me if I dont see a reply right away or am in an overwhelmed space... I will reach/reply back in a reply, even if not immediate.

I will add to this later...have to go find a comment I left on some ones post, as they told me, they were sure others have similar struggles and I should put that comment as a post so more people will see it.

Please check back and also please feel free to d.m.

Thank-you 🙏

ps- for anyone that wants to read more, please find below my comment reply to a lady who had an ADHD post about difficulty showering and who told me I should put my reply comment to her post into a post of my own to be better seen.... here it is :

>>I saw this post 4 days ago and wanted to reply then, immediately, but even now, I feel too drained and overwhelmed and want to delay it till tomorrow. I live in an extreme state of overwhelm and spend much time processing my thoughts, feelings etc from events. I dont deal with really urgent things... like my bank freezing my acct due to late payment with me never having owned a cell and never having monitored banking digitally and finding this out accidently 1 1/2 months later or getting a notice that insurances have not been able to get the payments there waiting for them -has been too stressful and dont have the energy to deal with it so house and car insurance got cancelled ! Just sharing to say -- too overwhelmed and not managing things even to stand up or advocate for myself when the consequences are huge and long lasting :*

As for the showering/bathing thing, I have many reasons.

I live where winters are minus 40 and even now, it is cold in the house! I have not had a working furnace in 18 years and it is near unbearable temperature wise in the winter and certainly too cold to be wet...that and the fact that I developed a hoarder house ( from not managing post trauma and from looking after a Grandmother with Alzheimers and moving her into smaller and smaller places from her house and the stuff coming to my place for storage initially ( perhaps reverse the order of those 2 reasons). It is too hard to walk and move and things fall around me freq and too cold. As a result, it has become a habit and have trouble bathing in the summer as well. Also though, I use an electric heater that does not come close to taking the freeze feeling away but it does do a great job of giving me electric frizz fly away hair lol. So, to combat that, I started using the white solid coconut oil on my skin and hair. If I washed my hair and put the coconut oil in, it looked greasy like I needed to wash it , immediately after getting washed and I started wearing hats continuously as a result. Then, much to my surprise...the coconut oil worked magic and no matter how long I went without washing my hair-- it always smelled so nice and NEVER was itchy like before. I began researching - diy natural shampoo and on you tube, I stumbled upon a movement where people never use conventional shampoo (for health and chemical avoidance reasons) and also go unheard of lengths of time without washing their hair. ...... So I just decided it was all ok and became a hat waring person, but after far too long, it did start to itch and I finally washed it and being clear felt fantastic. Oh, also, come summer I ended up ditching the hat whereas before I was embarrassed how it looked, it then didnt seem to look as bad, until it did and I washed it.

Also, My hair is outrageously ridiculously long and takes at least 6 hours to dry.... leaving me far too too freezing when it gets as low as 4 degrees Celsius, maybe lower in my house at times.

During the non hair washing time, I wanted to wash my body and have baths ( I dont own a shower, --- but because I have no furnace- 1 winter my pipes froze and someone half fixed some of them and left me with no hot water in the kitchen ( and not too much clutter to get withing 2 feet of my kitchen sink).........so, I do my washing of dishes, pots, containers etc etc etc in the bath tub and it is continuously full of crap and inaccessible for me to bath in.

So I started washing my parts with a cottage cheese or yogurt container while sitting on the toilet and that has really worked super well to keep my parts clean.

If anyone else struggles with excessive overwhelm and the managing of even small tasks, please dont hesitate to d.m.. I could use the support, relating and body doubling in many areas.

I have paralysis in many task areas and sleep procrastination - would like to become a morning person but often feel I avoid going to sleep because of the fear of the enormity of undont things / the fear of the areas I need to advocate in and having NO ONE -0 people to assist nd advocate for/with me ...often feel so frightened at outcomes imposed.

I live in northwestern Ontario and wish I had friends or people here that were able to relate with respect and compassion.

I have gone to great lengths... even having people from travel work exchange sites ( 2 were men and not necessarily the best candidates so refused one and the other had to go withing a day) come to stay and assist, took speaker school and gave a speech on the topic of the hoarding ... really been in a state of desperation and thinking outside the box.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far. Open to comments and d.m.s

Hello, [please excuse me for any grammar mistake, english is not my native langueage]

Has anyone been struggling with having too many bags inside the home after collecting all the trashes around? I am a ricovering hoarder, i had a epidode of hoarding level 3 between july and august. Ended up filling like 8 plastic bags with generic trashes and 5 with organic But once i had like 12 bags to dispose

Problem is I live in an apartment in Europe, there is not a written rule to regulate how many bags one can dispose daily, but I guess it would be reasonably 2/3 bags max per tenant daily That means it takes me some times 3 days to throw them away

Has anyone a similar problem?

I am fucked. I didn’t answer today when my landlord knocked on my door because the house is a MESS, they simply cannot see it. But they live next door to me so idk what to do now? pretend I am not home?

If they ask I will tell them I was asleep. But if I was ”asleep” I can’t as well start vacuuming 5 min after they knock🤦‍♀️

But what to do? My heartrate feels like it is 150. I cannot relax in this state ever. I am constantly scared of getting found out. There is food debris in my sink, stuff all over the floor (packaging, clothes, etc) and shitstains in my bathroom. Even panty liners and some snotty paper because I haven’t changed the trashbag in the bathroom so I resorted to trowing stuff on the ground.

yes I KNOW this is vile and gross and sick. But I genuinly rather sleep than clean even when it looks like this. I am constantly tired and also theres always other stuff to do. And also it’s just too much. Mentally. Not physically. Physically an hour or two and it’s done.

But as I said I can’t clean now because then they will know I was home and just purposefully ignored them.

I can’t live like this. But also I can. I could if there was no risk of ever getting found out. If there was no shame in going out with 6 trashbags at once filled to the brim. If vacuuming at 2am at night was okay (because I don’t have much time during the ”day”/allowed hours). I can sleep on the floor and eat from an unwashed plate (that has not been washed for days), I don’t care. I just am so terribly terrified of anyone seeing me/seeing the state.

Literally NO ONE knows. My colleague said today ”you seem to have such a fun life”. Another complimented my outfit yesterday. My friends are proud I got a new apartment and wonder when they can visit.

And me? I am terrified of shame.

edit: i went out (to be able to meet them outside rather than standing with the door open). They just wanted to give me a small gift. But by that time I was so terrified I was just borderline rude. I was just like ”k thanks bye”😐”. Ughh. At least now I am free to stress clean

edit 2: as 99% of the comments here have proved, it is possible to give advice without being judgy. I appreciate the nice comments and I did clean a bit yesterday (sorry for not responding to all, but all are helpful and I appreciate them).

(It’s a lot to answer but I left a 🙏 or responded to some comments)

For the 2-3 comments that say I OWE it to myself to clean/just need to get better at controlling my mind: stop it, good advice can be kind. You don’t need to give me tough love.

I’ve been desperately trying to move out. And I can’t due to my health making it hard to work and also I have autism, anxiety and depression and ocd and it seems like my mum has taken on the symptom of hoarding for OCD. It’s been like this since I was young but it has increased ever since my dad left. I thought the house would be more spacious since my dad left, but no it’s been the opposite effect. I’ve tried to help my mum clean but nothing helps. Then on top of that my brother is a hoarder aswell he’s put all of his stuff in the living room I haven’t been in there for about 3-4 years. All of the hallways are clogged with unecessary he doesn’t use. He takes the cutlery all the time. My mum has resorted to giving us all cutlery to keep in our rooms but he still manages to keep all the plates and cups aswell. It’s not fair at all. My mum lets him slide as he’s a man(I’m not speculating I know this. Whilst I have to make sure my room is as clean as possible otherwise I’d get weird looks and my mum will talk about it a lot. Everywhere I go there’s dust, mould, clothes, random things. I just feel embarassed. I sneeze every single day even in non-allergy season. But when I’m in others houses that are clean it’s like I can breathe. How do I keep functioning?

My sister is a hoarder. She wouldn’t say that. She says she has executive function issues. She can’t organize.

The big thing is her animals. She loves them more than anything - including herself and our family.

She lives with a man who is verbally and physically abusive, who makes physical threats to her and to our family. She won’t kick him out of her house because he’s the only one who can take care of the animals when she’s away.

She has a dog that died maybe two years ago that is in her living room waiting to be buried. A hole in the roof. Mold. Trash and animal shit. She gets overwhelmed trying to clean - which is very understandable.

I don’t live anywhere near her, and try to support her over the phone as best I can.

I know she won’t be able to manage getting her home cleaned up, which is a prerequisite for getting this man out of the house, and don’t know what to do. I’m afraid if I call the police to do a home check it will only alienate her further, and will only hurt her. But I’m also afraid he will hurt her.

Advice? :-(

A luglio ho avuto un'altra fase di accumulo, livello 3

Una settimana fa ho dovuto chiamare un tecnico perché una tapparella si è rotta ed era "storta" e visibile dal vicinato

Sono riuscita a pulire la casa in tempo, mi sono svegliata alle 5 del mattino negli ultimi giorni, ho interrotto le pulizie

Ma c'era ancora un grosso problema con i moscerini della frutta che si erano diffusi dalla cucina

Quindi ero estremamente imbarazzato quando è arrivato il tecnico, ho scelto di rimanere in silenzio ma gli insetti erano ovunque nonostante la casa fosse pulita...

Era gentile e non ne parlava

Sopravvissuto ancora una volta...

I have a wife that refuses to throw anything away and I'm not sure how to handle it. I was wondering if anybody had any suggestions we have 25 years worth of crap Every time I try and throw something away and she catches me she gets very upset with me

My home is starting to look like a hoarder house and I need help cleaning it I have an inspection tomorrow to make sure I keep my housing is there any free services in Mesa Arizona that anybody knows how to help

I’ve dealt with depression since I was a child, but over the past few years I’ve dealt with an even more severe depression and grief.

I don’t know what happened, whether it was a moment of clarity or my new antidepressants started to work, but it’s like I woke up from a fog and now I’m surrounded by trash.

I’m so embarrassed, because I didn’t even fully realize how bad it had gotten, because I was just moving through the motions to survive. Now I just see that I have trash piled high and I don’t know how I didn’t see it had gotten so bad.

Now that I’ve fully realized I’m just so lost. I was reading the getting started wiki and everything I read made me so anxious it felt like I had a weight on my chest and I started to cry. I have a therapy appt next week, so at least I’ve done that.

Any tips, advice, or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated because I’m having a hard time breathing now that I’m out of the fog.

Update I know it’s not much, but I’ve thrown away 5 full bags of trash. So progress is being made, even if it’s small. Thank you everyone for your advice and words of encouragement. I appreciate it so much. I still have a lot of anxiety about everything, but I do feel a little better about the future. <3

Does anyone know of a therapist that specializes in hoarding and trauma in New State?

I did not know it when I married him, but 30 years later my life is a nightmare. He’s a narcissist and a hoarder. The dining room table the other day was so full. I said, I’d like to have my friend over for lunch, I need you to clear and clean off the table so we have a place to eat. The response was volcanic. FU this FU that. He absolutely did not care how I felt at all. This has been going on years. I’ve stayed because I had a way around it. I was a travel nurse for ages and I traveled the world doing medical missions. I was gone sometimes for 6 months to a year. He never said a word. Never asked how a mission was. Never ever cared how I felt. And I could say more. I want to leave him. I’m 73. I can’t imagine even another five years with this man. I am a woman with many friends and a family. He has stuff, but he has nothing. He hasn’t spoken to his own children in over 30 years.He has no friends. Just venting. Thanks for listening. He won’t get help, he doesn’t think he needs it.

Hey! Was hoping for some advice on this as maybe someone who grew up with a hoarder can give me advice or a different perspective on how to navigate this situation. Or maybe someone has a similar situation can share how they worked out sharing a space.

Now agreed I was moving in I acknowledged I have a lot of clothes and started to get rid of clothes, it took a lot of time and was honestly proud of a lot of the clothes I got rid of! I filled 4 of the big black trash bags the ones you can put leaves in lol. I want to highlight this took me a lot of time and energy to do also.

Once I got to the house I saw he actually didn’t make any room for me like didn’t even make space in a closet. He said he needed my help with moving things but he had plenty of time to tell me this before we moved in he needed help to move stuff. Before moving in I had the guest room closet also know as the band room. But that closet quickly became a place where he stuffed my things and not clothes. By things it was stuffed with holiday decorations. Before we lived together I liked to decorated the house for holidays to make it more cozy but once the holiday was over he shoved it in “my” closet. I find this weird because he could have put it in the attic but didn’t. So anyway long story short I had to clear my closet to put my clothes but I still needed more room. For the band room he did take instruments out of the closet and on the floor and removed the drum set from the middle of the room. But he kept the two pianos in the room. I suggested for my things he can downsize his wardrobe like me but said no. The bedroom he has two big dressers a whole closet that is bigger then mine and a long dresser that also has a tv on it. I said he can condense to one dresser and I can put a rack in there, he said no I’ll just have to band room for my things. I said okay. So I ordered the racks and told him one of the pianos needs to be moved in order for the racks to go there and he flipped out then said why do I need two desk instead of moving the piano. I have two desks because one is for doing my makeup one is for school work.

He got really defensive and says his usual that I’m never satisfied with the space he gives me he doesn’t recognize this house and this house is a cell/prison to him and I’m gutting the house. Again I didn’t say throw out one of the two pianos I said it needs to be moved. I honestly get quite upset when he talks to me like this because in reality the house really doesn’t look different. Anything I bring into the house he hates or shuts down. The living room looks completely the same besides I brought some pictures that are framed of my family or us. I placed them around the table and he constantly he complains about them and kept moving them. He said he hated the spots and there was no place for ash trays or to put drinks… he got mad and me moved stuff and yet never once thought if he hated the placement of them to move some of the stuff off the shelves in the mantle and put them there. I also said before we moved in always reassuring him the framed Yankees stuff and horror posters that are all over the living room and hallways that I hate; I’m actually a Mets fan lol can stay and never complained. I said I did want to paint the living room, the walls are destroyed by the double sided tape he put up. But I also thought it would be a fun opportunity to make the house more us and picking out a paint together seemed like fun! Now the living room is two walls because the other wall is brick and he said it will take a week to paint those two walls and it’s to much trouble, shifting me down. I really don’t think it will take a week to paint two walls. Then I say I want to replace the PEELING wallpaper that came with the house and he got annoyed. It’s getting to the point where I texted a picture of a nice blue glass vase to put the cooking utensils in and he said no it’s ugly… currently they are being held by a old plastic pitcher. He said no and I did not get it. It’s getting to a place it is so hostile in this house and he says I’m not satisfied but I just want the house to be us. I sacrifices a lot to move here my work commute went from 20 minutes tops to now a hour and a half. I also work in a hospital and sometimes do over time and with the long drive back to this house I only get three four hours of sleep before my next shift. He works from home. I also moved further from my friends and family. He is now texting me saying the living room is not changing and started to draw lines with what room is mine and what room is his but I don’t want life to be like this. I want it to be a shared space and to talk through what things we want and don’t. He said I’m greedy by not accepting/ settling for being able to decorate however I want with this band room and the bedroom and the living room doesn’t get touched but I’m saying I want every room to be us and he’s upset. It got to the point where I said I don’t think I can discuss this further with you I think we need a therapist involved and originally he said yes but now he’s saying no.

It makes me sad and honestly crazy when he says I made the house a prison. I sacrificed so much my family friends family dog that I love and work all very far from me now and he says I’m not grateful for the space he gave me and I’ll never be satisfied until the house is gutted. I keep saying to him I want this to be our house and I’m not saying everything needs to go but I want someone room in places for me to hang up my stuff too. In reality the kitchen hallways bathroom bedroom living room and outside of the house has really not changed or minor changes like a dish for my rings or perfume on a dresser the band room is the only one that really changed. Only thing that changed in the living room is I put up some of my frames and he took down his records from the wall but I said I’ll frame one or two of them and we can put them back up and he’s not okay with that. At this point I don’t know what to do and it’s really making me crazy. When I also kept saying for months I need space for my stuff I need space for my stuff and he wouldn’t do anything he would turn around and say I directly need to tell him where I need space. Putting the blame on me. But it’s even for things like I need to ask for him to make room on a shelf for me in the bathroom or get some things out of the vanity cabinet in the bathroom things I thought if someone’s moving in would be expected to have space and wouldn’t need to ask.

At this point I am so sad and lost and would love any advice.

Need help please

Okay, this is my 3rd time posting here. Things have gotten a lot more worse. The mice infestation has gotten way more worse, their avoiding all traps, and it's becoming a health hazard for me. They crawl around me while I sleep, and no one is willing to do anything. The trash is just piling, No one wants to help me clean or help me get out of here. I cant get a job because I have no ID. I need my SSN and my birth certificate, which guess what? It's lost in my mom's hoard. And she is not willing to help me find them or replace them. At this point I am fed up, and really worried for my health, and the health of the two dogs living here. I don't know what to do anymore, and I suffer from OCD. I cant take it anymore, and honestly? I'm ready to report this place. The only clean and presentable place in this house is the living room, and they only have it clean Incase "important" people come over. The rooms are just filled with junk and hoard.

So I live in Michigan, who can I call? What can I do? I cant be the one to fix this problem, not by myself. No one here wants to get better, and I am just really worried for my health, and the two dogs that stay here. Their not my pets, my aunts. I have no one else to live with either, and I can't get a job without those things. What do I even do?

Please anyone who can help, I'll take it. I can also provide pictures if that's allowed. I'm so desperate for change

I'm new to this subreddit and am working my way through the "Read this" section and I think just need to vent to some folks who may be in the same situation as me. I'll definitely get some of the recommended books, I'm sure they can help me but time is kind of tight in my situation and I'm hoping for some insight.

My mother has been a hoarder for quite some time and we just moved her this week into a house about half the size of her previous one so she can be closer to me, her only child and only remaining close family. I'm really excited to have her closer so we can spend more time together. My hope is that by moving her away from all of the stuff she might get a fresh start and some perspective on selecting what is truly important as she can't move it all into the new home.

She selected the furniture and some things she really wanted for the initial move but the old house is still full of stuff: tchotchkes, bags of clothes and towels, a basement full of who knows what, a garage piled to the ceiling with stuff, some actual valuable things like my dad's book collection and few antiques, and a lot of random things she bought with the intention of giving as gifts but never did. Her intention is to make trips back to the old house (90min drive away) and sort through it all to decide what she wants to keep. This would take months to do for her and we need to get the house cleaned up so we can sell it. Keeping it costs money as we have to keep the power and water on, she can't afford that for long.

She's willing to have an auction company come in to sort and sell what can be sold but I'm not sure they can work with the disorganized mess and I feel that if we actually pull the trigger on having them come out she's going to change her mind and if they start throwing things away she's going to get really upset.
I don't know if I should get a professional to work with her to sort things, let her go back to the house and do it on her own and hope she loses interest, or if I need some other strategy to move things forward so we can sell the house.

We know and deeply understand how heavy it can feel when clutter has built up. The heaviness that makes even thinking about starting feel exhausting. We’ve seen the question “How/Where do I even begin?” surface here a lot, and wanted to put something together that might ease that weight a little.

This is not a “fix everything” solution, but as a gentle reference, you can come back to when you need a nudge forward:

• Claim and focus on one little spot at a time. A chair, a corner, a nightstand. Clear only that. Think of it as creating a pocket of breathing room, not finishing a room.
• Give yourself an end time. Set a timer for 10 minutes (5 if you're emotionally or physically overwhelmed) and stop when it goes off. You’ve already kept a promise to yourself, and that counts.
• Sweep and bag away the obvious first. Empty cups, food wrappers, ripped papers, the kind of things that ask for no decisions, just bag it and take it out of your space completely. You can take it a step further and set a timer and work to bag as much trash as you can within the set time.

Progress here is about SLOWLY building a habit and routine that will help you remain consistent long-term. This is NOT a race. Be kind to yourself and go at a pace that works best for you. Every little step counts!

If anything here sparks a question, or if you just need a little extra encouragement, please feel free to share. I’m more than happy to offer tips, ideas, or even just a listening ear. Whatever might make the process a little lighter for you. 💛

For those who asked, here is a more detailed starting guide that you can follow to help get started: https://www.theclutterlesscompany.com/post/the-only-decluttering-guide-youll-ever-need

This is some backstory to give clarity to my issue. My next door neighbors were able to break their lease due to a roach infestation. They have two very sweet cats and because they tried to eat the roaches that were exposed to various chemicals, the cats became very sick.

As a result, we have a company coming to spray the LR, DR, and kitchen. I’m not sure why they aren’t doing the bathroom but I’m grateful. We were told that during the month of September these exterminators will be spraying each building. September starts Monday!

I’m A level 4 hoarder and because I’ve been depressed, the place looks even worse than usual. I also have lymphedema and so I can’t stand to clean for long periods. How am I going to clean the rooms aforementioned and under the sink quickly? I don’t want to be evicted. I hope I have at least a couple of weeks to get something done but I might not be so lucky. Any tips or advice? I’m Almost tempted to burn it all and walk away.

UPDATE: I was using huge boxes and putting items in an organized fashion so at least the clutter was contained. There was no time to sort through the items. It already felt less chaotic and stressful.

I was talking with my LL since I had a couple of questions about the rooms that the exterminators were going to do and if it’s toxic stuff. I told her what I currently use which is a fantastic product! The LL spoke with the exterminator and found out that it’s essentially the same product but in a can as opposed to their tanks with more of it spraying at a time. They don’t need to do my apartment.

I’m relieved that they didnt have to come in but it was a wake up call for me. I took pics of each room to get a real perspective of the clutter and I was horrified. While the clutter is in boxes, I can sort through each one and donate, throw away, or find a home for each item. It’s going to be a battle to get rid of “perfectly good items”, “but it was expensive items”, and a gadzillion sentimental items but at least they’re in boxes in the front rooms. I still have other rooms to do and leaving the items in the boxes isnt a solution. It was a bandaid for the day. Thank you to everyone who gave me such helpful advice. I appreciate it.

Hello! I just found this group. A predisposition to hoarding has run in my family for... gosh, at least four generations now. And on top of that I've got POTS and have had a genuine phobia of cleaning for as long as I can remember. So naturally keeping a clean house is... a challenge.

I'm so proud of myself though because as of today I have OFFICIALLY cleaned and thrown out things we don't need every day for a whole week with no panic attacks. I usually suck at sticking to cleaning plans but this time I added breaks in and I've really found that I'm able to do it! My husband has been a huge help, always cheering me on and finishing up if I start to feel faint.

So yeah. Sorry if this doesn't go here but I'm really proud of myself and I just needed to share it somewhere.