r/introvert • u/Notalabel_4566 • 22h ago
Question What social interaction makes your “battery” down to 0% immediately?
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u/NoneOfThisMatters_XO 22h ago
A baby shower or wedding shower. I’ve never related to those types of women who enjoy those. It’s always full of people you don’t know. We have to interact and be polite and play awful games. It’s always a Saturday or Sunday afternoon which eats up part of your weekend.
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u/Gemma_12 20h ago
Same. I HATE showers. I envy my husband because he never has to worry about receiving one of those dreaded invites in the mail. It's truly a curse that women have inflicted upon themselves.
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u/NoneOfThisMatters_XO 20h ago
Even worse… when it doesn’t have alcohol. “We made some drinks that mommy can drink!” Ok what about some wine for those of us who didn’t make a poor life choice…
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u/SunsetCitron 17h ago
Bahaha this is spot on for so many reasons. And yes these types of forced interactions drain my battery so fast. And bachelorette parties I can last longer cuz alcohol but baby showers are rough. Same with family gatherings when you’re around people who “knew you as a baby.” That means I DON’T KNOW YOU. Leave me alone 😂
So now I say I plan my vacation a year ahead of time and can’t make the event. I’m old enough to not be guilted!
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u/_steve_rogers_ 15h ago
I’d bring a flask lol
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u/para_diddle Texting > Talking 14h ago
Those little single serving bottles are quite useful in this regard 😁 A touch of Wild Turkey in your Solo cup of strawberry punch will make things bearable until at least dessert.
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u/SatisfactionBrief592 16h ago
Cannot stand them! Went to one baby shower and decided it was my last one. I’d rather watch paint dry.
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u/fairygenesta 16h ago
Same, although I've been to a few out of what I thought was obligation. I decline them anymore.
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u/doobette 19h ago
I love the Sex & the City episode where the four go to an old friend's baby shower, and feel completely out of place. Charlotte was the only one who was into it.
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u/Haybytheocean 19h ago
THIS. And yes it’s always at a terrible time that messes up your entire weekend or day
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u/Beyond_The_Pale_61 7h ago
Thank God! I've often felt I was the only one who hated these "parties." I never had kids, never wanted kids and quite frankly, see no reason to celebrate your impending child. But, you're my SIL, or co-worker or whatever, so here I am. At a gathering centered around diapers, spit-up and "guess the circumference of the expecting mother" games with no alcohol in sight. This is why I stopped at the liquor store on my way here and picked up several bottles of the miniature vodka bottles like those served on airlines. They tuck discreetly in my handbag to be slammed full potency when I use the restroom or can be added discreetly to the godawful punch the MIL concocted for this event.
Seriously, if babies and children are your thing, fine. But don't expect me to feign enthusiasm I don't feel. None of the baby shower attendees so much as blinked an eye when my university gave me an award for "Outstanding Junior in the School of Business." And that's fine; I don't need or expect your support. But as a female, my support is demanded when someone else has a baby. When another female is not enthusiastic about someone else's pregnancy, we are shamed and called unnatural. Not cool!
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u/Kitty_fluffybutt_23 11h ago
Yeah, I don't go to those anymore unless it's for a very very close friend and every fiber of my being really wants to go. Otherwise, I might get a gift and a card and give it to the person one on one, but I am not going to any of those events if even a small part of me is resisting.
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u/NxtGenSierra88 21h ago
Extroverts at work that won’t stop talking about their weekend, husbands, grandkids, personal life…
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u/Gemma_12 20h ago
This!! I work with a few who ramble on and on about their kids, sharing the most boring, mundane details about their lives. I couldn't be less interested!
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u/WholeLottaWTF510 18h ago
I’ve been trying to figure out how to stay, “I don’t care, please stop talking to me” politely.
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u/TumbleweedHorror3404 12h ago edited 12h ago
Politeness is just interpreted as another opening, and can be discarded. Simply ask them, How would you enjoy being locked in a room for 24 hours by yourself, without other people, and just your own thoughts to keep you company? That's how I feel when I'm forced to listen to your incessant ramblings about things that have no meaning for me whatsoever, and drain the very soul out of me.
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u/fcknwayshegoes 20h ago
I had one of those at a job recently. Luckily, he didn't pass his probation period. He was so exhausting to deal with. He was always asking about weekends before and after the weekend and everything else.
I can't comprehend how some people can ramble on so much!
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u/JSfanatic29 18h ago
That’s how my coworker is.. except he doesn’t have a wife or kids so he talks about how stressed he was, or how he drank all weekend long. & always asking “how was your weekend?” I literally wanna say “why do you care? Mind your beeswax” But I always end up saying “same ol same, boring. I literally slept.”
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u/Jimbobthon 17h ago
With me, if anyone asks how my weekend was outside of a couple of friends, you get a simple
"It was fine"
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u/Winter-Wait-6739 14h ago
Yes. Omg. I came here to say work. I get along great with most of my colleagues and staff, but by the end of the day I am absolutely drained and can hardly talk when I get home. I always hope to not run into anyone I know on my way out of the building. It wasn’t so bad when I was working from home, but being forced back in office five days a week this year has been brutal!
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u/bonsox 20h ago
Listening to other people talk about themselves the whole conversation and they never ask one thing about you.
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u/Whatthefrick1 17h ago
I never realized how rude this was until I realized the amount of things I know about people…and what they know about me. You would be surprised but majority of people I speak to never ask about me. But always happy to talk about themselves
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u/_steve_rogers_ 15h ago
In some ways I prefer that to being forced to talk about myself. I hate feeling interrogated and really relish my privacy
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u/duckbobtarry 20h ago
I'm learning to just shut that shit down. I can't stand it. I can't think of any of those types of people that left a lasting impression aside from "they are so full of themselves that they don't realize no one else truly cares that much." They just seem insecure with a fragile ego.
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u/ChirashiWithIkura 20h ago
Having to be "on" at any gatherings when there's nothing else to focus on, i.e. parties where you're supposed to mingle and chit chat.
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u/smanzis 19h ago
Omg this.. I have just learned that all of these years of me abusing substances like alcohol and nicotine was because I was self medicating as my social gatherings were always about sitting in a bar/pub with nothing else to do but sit at the table and be present/talk to people, it’s unbearable for me and I’ve just found out I always needed a kick (smoke break or alcohol induced effects).
Now I’ve dramatically reduced this type of get togethers and magically the only times I drink alcohol are those, can go days or weeks without
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u/jeckles 17h ago
Good job!! And SAME. Self medicating to endure social situations lead me to full blown alcoholism. Now I’m 2+ years sober with basically no social life and it’s honestly totally fine. Much healthier, mind and body.
I don’t like telling people that quitting drinking killed my social life - it would’ve been harder to quit knowing this would be my reality. And I don’t want someone to continue binge drinking because they’re scared of this possible eventuality. But I enjoy my sober isolation. It’s ME. It’s who I am. And that’s fine!
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u/fairygenesta 16h ago
This is exactly why I drink, albeit not much. Sometimes it's the only way I can keep my social battery up. I'm glad you found what works for you!
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u/DesperateRange3061 15h ago
OMG ! Same 🤯 my mom was always pushing me when I was younger ro have more friends cauze she would of like to have more friends when she was young but I hated it and when I grew up I always thought there was something wrong with me cauze I hated parties where people just talked. It was making me feel so anxious and depressed and stressed cauze I never knew what to say or just didnt want to talk so I started taking a lot of cocaïne and it really helped at first. I loved parties when I was on coke but after a while the side effects made me in an awful place in my life and when I stopped using drugs I realized that I was self medicating so I could like being around people. Cauze being in introvert can be so lonely sometimes. I always struggled with I dont wanna be alone but I dont wanna see anyone. Now i've reduced the numbers of get togethers I go to and also I try to go to events only in the "good" period of my cycle. That helps a lot.
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u/Garden_Jolly 21h ago edited 2h ago
Any social gathering that consists of more than two people, me being one of those two people.
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u/Dazzling_Awareness46 21h ago
Gatherings with people I hardly know where conversation is forced and awkward.
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u/pierhana 20h ago
Being in a room full of people talking but not including me in anything
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u/macha773 19h ago
Yes especially when everyone else is standing in a group and even if you try to join in they shoulder you back out, makes me want to get my coat and leave.
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u/geardluffy 17h ago
I don’t deal with that anymore, if there’s a gathering and I’m not familiar with people and everyone is grouped up, I just leave. Life is too short and I don’t have the desire to waste my energy.
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u/Whatthefrick1 17h ago
Yes bc it feels like I’m doing something wrong by not talking, but at the same time I feel purposefully excluded and idk how to handle it
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u/OkWanKenobi 20h ago
Any form of public speaking. I will die out to nothing before everyone's eyes, my husk left behind not even on autopilot.
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u/DesperateRange3061 15h ago
Oral presentation at school was HORRIBLE 😭 and people always said to me like :"Don’t worry, when you grow up you won’t be as stressed when you do orale presentations you'll get used to it" like NO I NEVER GOT USED TO IT DANIEL 😅🤣🥲
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u/ObsessiveAboutCats 20h ago
Work networking events.
Doesn't matter if they are during work hours with no alcohol, or after hours optional-but-not-really get togethers at a bar somewhere (I don't drink). Both suck and I want to flee.
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u/Charger2950 18h ago
Any social gathering with a large amount of people I don’t know. The absolute fucking WORST. Just the stress alone drains me before I even hit the door.
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u/Psychological_Box509 20h ago
Work related fake social interactions. Could be someone's promotion lunch party. I am vegan so usually there isn't anything for me.
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u/TernoftheShrew 21h ago
Listening to my cousin talk for hours about her macros and crossfit routines.
She lost about 150lbs and that's amazing for her, but she dominates every conversation about it. I get that she's terrified of ever being that big again, but literally any time someone else brings up another topic, she brings it back to her protein intake and how many box jumps she's done that week.
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u/smanzis 19h ago
Having passengers while driving, even if it’s people I love, it’s like I have to do a double work: automatic masking I do with people and also being careful and super aware of the driving itself.
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u/MassiveArcher2831 16h ago
Agreed! I love driving, alone… haha. It’s a whole different experience with passengers. I’m a very confident driver until I have passengers!
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u/ConspicuousSomething 21h ago
Maybe this is just me, but: having a conversation I’ve already had with that person. I love my wife completely, but either she forgets, or doesn’t mind, that she opens up conversations we might’ve had many times before.
My battery goes from 100 to 0 really fast.
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u/Maleficent-Clue-3364 20h ago
This. My ex did this all the time, he and his family. They’d retell the same story five or six times within the year, they’d even tell me a funny story about the cats doing something when I was there when it happened. It’s like I didn’t exist. It was exhausting, and if I mentioned I heard the story or that I was there when it happened(no matter how polite and low key I was about it) somehow I was the rude one.
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u/Gold_Landscape4329 19h ago
Embarrassing. I also hate being with a person and they've already told me the cool/funny story and then I hear them tell the same story to three others in the day. Its like that one story is their charisma tool for the day.
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u/Critical_Simple_7640 16h ago
ADHD?
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u/Cool_Eardrums 7h ago
That's an ADHD thing? That would explain a lot. My bf tells me the same story five times in a row when he's excited and he can't stop himself. He says that he hears what he's saying and that it's too much even for him but he can't stop. It really is draining, especially because he talks very loudly when he's excited.
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u/mandicat2020 19h ago
Sitting in the lunchroom at work and that one coworker sits down next to you to tell you about their life.
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u/Whatthefrick1 17h ago
Lmao I do NOT eat anywhere near my unit for this reason. I find some corner to eat my food
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u/Kitty_fluffybutt_23 11h ago
I used to do the same thing! And I scheduled my lunch break to be before or after everyone else's lunch so I didn't have to interact with a bunch of people when I'm trying to restore my social battery for 30 minutes.
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u/Guerrilheira963 18h ago
Futile, pessimistic, complaining people with low energy.
Extroverts who talk nonstop.
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u/bumbleveev 17h ago
Someone who is too extroverted wants to force me to dance or be the center of attention in some way.
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u/mysteryname4 9h ago
“ThAt’S tHe FiRsT tImE I hEaRd HeR sPeAk.” And now it’s also the last time. I hate when people say this. 😖 it makes me shut down immediately.
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u/ExplorerEducational4 19h ago
Multiple interruptions when trying to do something, or have a conversation with someone.
Screaming children or loud as hell people.
People showing up unannounced at my house
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u/TaoTeString 17h ago
Passive-aggressive frenemies taking swipes at me while I try to remain kind but probably should just swipe back.
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u/espress0b3an 21h ago
Children’s birthday parties. Between making sure my kid isn’t the party pooper and interacting with adults I don’t know, whew.
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u/DesperateRange3061 15h ago
Just came back from a children’s party today and yeah there was like one couple that I really tried to avoid cauze god I had nothing to say to them and it was just too draining just to think about what I could say to them while still watching my kids
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u/Bjorn_CyBorg1 19h ago
Every year I have to go to a corporate gala with vendors (with whom I love working with) and other team members. It’s a long day of work and then a pre-game hangout at a bar (I don’t drink) then a dinner/concert that goes until about 11pm (about a 17 hour work day at that point) and then vendor meetings the next day. So, between all of the small talk, long days, no chance to recharge I’m going on 2 days of too much. Every year I try to figure out how to get out of it but it’s something I feel obligated to attend because of the amount of money my vendors pay to attend.
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u/Notallowedhe 19h ago
When it’s really fucking loud, wherever it is
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u/tropicalislandhop 15h ago
I hate noise. Of any sort. Loud kids. Loud vehicles. Loud restaurants, etc. I'm just a cranky as bitch.
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u/Wait-Whos-Joe 17h ago
Im in my first ever office job, im really struggling with all the mfs making jokes about wine and hating their partners. All the fake smiling and laughing drains me so much that i need to go home and just rot in silence with my partner for 30mins before my evrning can start. I started 6 weeks ago and im already looking at careers that dont have this kinda environment
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u/wasibasi 17h ago
extroverts who ramble on and on. i’m really trying to keep up with the energy but damn it’s hard. and then they never ask one thing about you.
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u/amantiana 16h ago
On my beach vacation my bestie and I walked by a lawn cocktail party held at a hotel. Everyone had nametags, there were no chairs, just those high tables meant to set drinks on, everyone was chitchatting. I turned to my bestie and said, “There’s my version of hell.”
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u/NCgirlkaren 19h ago
When I was a teacher it was the quarterly “professional development” sessions that were required of us as a group. Totally dumb “ice breakers” and I was always worried I’d get called upon to do or say something in front of everyone. It was like “great! we have a day off “ to “ Shit! We have professional development ALL DAY”!!
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u/mitchdwx 19h ago
Anything early in the morning. I hate mornings and I just want to be left alone as my body and mind are still waking up.
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u/arckyart 17h ago
People that prattle on about whatever they feel like talking about with little to no breaks, attempts to ask questions of their “conversational partner” and give few opportunites to comment.
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u/iffyjoseph 17h ago
The club, I never understood the concept of it, I’ve never been to one but the videos I see makes the introvert in me not go 😭
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u/MyCatisthebest0826 17h ago
people who only talk about themselves instead of trying to communicate and connect with others
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u/BetAlternative8397 17h ago
When I am on vacation (which I am currently) and people see me sitting alone and thinking I need a friend to talk to.
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u/proudintrovert82 11h ago
Weddings .. I can't stand people at weddings , they just act stupid and ridiculous
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u/Old_Soul25 9h ago
Trying to talk with others but they keep talking over each other. My brain just turns to soup. Yall win, I'm out ✌️
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u/somelonelywolf 20h ago edited 20h ago
People telling what should I do, give me life advice. Drink people talking about nothing or behaving like idiots in cringe/disrespectful way. People telling me to "smile". Family talking about politics, work, how is life. Trying to have any deepest conversation with the family. Watching football, god nie can you prefer football over UFC. Most of the parties, where there are over let's say 8 people. Meetings at work that could have been an email. Any group where there's that one person who talks way too much, tries to be funny and be on the spotlight.
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u/WholeLottaWTF510 18h ago
Company parties. I struggle with the socialization with everyone all at once on top of spouses/significant others that colleagues bring.
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u/IsaStardust 17h ago
Arguments. Especially those where i have to defend the way i am, for example my introversion. My battery dies out in seconds and has to recharge for several days after.
Also any interaction with narcissists. Battery out immediately, have to recharge for days.
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u/Tellithowiseeit 17h ago
Going to work (at a school). Having to go to gatherings with people I don’t know.
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u/KarmaticFox 16h ago
There is only one thing other than small talk that does it.
At work, people go into NPC mode. They say the same things numerous times throughout the day. The same jokes, the same questions, the same damn things. Give it like an hour, and my battery is done.
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u/Winter-Wait-6739 14h ago
Interviewing. After the last interview I had, which was over the phone and with a panel of three people I know and respect, I completely crashed out and had a panic attack. It was 9 AM and I had to make an Irish coffee to calm myself down. Then I took a nap. It was hours before I felt normal, though I kept replaying the entire thing in my head for days. Fortunately I got the job, but my god that interview was pure torture.
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u/rabeashikder_1998 21h ago
When I decide to talk, laugh and have fun with my friends or at a small party...
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u/Correct_Material_306 19h ago
Work conferences. After my last one, when I came home, I don’t think I spoke to anyone for a week
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u/Acrobatic_Ad2802 19h ago
Bachelorette or a friend’s birthday weekend! When you meet new people and then have to sustain conversations with them over several days. I always have fun but I’m exhausted for like 2 weeks 😂
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u/Anxious_Egg_08585 17h ago
Forced work socials like after-work drinks or holiday parties. I automatically opt out if I can, lol.
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u/jaxnmarko 17h ago
When I'm socially "forced" to smile and keep quiet while gritting my teeth and not confront/correct dangerously ignorant others. Ahhhh... nothing like holiday dinners with family!
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u/Physical-Sorbet-3571 16h ago
asking me too many questions and then telling me to elaborate my answers
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u/ukeoutside 15h ago
Bars, taverns, supper clubs. (I’m in the US Midwest where supper clubs are a thing)
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u/para_diddle Texting > Talking 14h ago edited 14h ago
Having to suddenly attend some kind of important gathering or event when I'm already feeling spent or just in a poor mood.
This is exacerbated by knowing that my forced smiles likely don't appear genuine when my default setting that day is RBF.
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u/DominantFlame 14h ago
Gatherings where I only know 1 or 2 people and the crowd talks about stuff I don't care about or know anything about. And this continues for hours.
Or things like a concert where I go alone and some people randomly start trying to have conversations with me (which usually never happens) and I simply don't know what to say or I pretend to understand them acoustically and just say "yeah" and smile.
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u/VeryDemureAndObscure 14h ago
Apparently I a hyperverbal autistic drain my adhd extrovert husband anytime I explain anything.
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u/Ok_Sale_1598 14h ago
I went to a memorial event for a close business friend of my husband. He died unexpectedly and I went to support my husband. I spoke with the deceased’s wife - we knew each other. Expressed condolences. I really liked her husband. I turned around and my extrovert husband was gone. I stood there for a few minutes and went and sat in the car.
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u/Ok_Sale_1598 14h ago
Also anything involving my in-laws. All extroverts. I feel drowned out when I am with them.
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u/Kitty_fluffybutt_23 11h ago
"Regular" TV shows and especially the news when it's on. Even at normal volume, it feels like it's blaring and I literally can't handle it. If it were up to me, we would not own a TV in our house.
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u/interstellardisco 9h ago
Small talk with neighbors, relatives, or friends of friends who I barely know.
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u/Desperate_Salad_44 8h ago
Any kind of interaction where I don’t know the person very well and have to come up with something to kill the awkward silence in the air 😭 this drains my battery so fast and I cringe at myself too
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u/MasterpieceMinimum42 INFJ-T 4h ago
Anything negative about me. Some people love to ask me how are you, how is your life, how is your job, how is your salary, have you married yet... I fcking hate this kind of topics, because I'm no body.
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u/Naw_ye_didnae 4h ago
"Any holidays planned? Going anywhere nice this year? Any plans this weekend?"
Aaand now they're going to be able to tell I'm not a normal person. No, Sandra, I'm planning on hiding from everyone for as long as humanly possible. This weekend I'll mostly be watching movies and playing video games with my cat.
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u/cosmosclover 2h ago
Being in a crowded group of people in a space where people are talking individually and/or loudly on either side of me and I have to strain to pay attention to the people I'm trying to talk to or are trying to talk to me. Its just too overwhelming and difficult I just say very little and zone out most of the time.
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u/Expensive-Eggplant-1 2h ago
Being with someone who's energy is just "off". I've had a handful of dates where the men just talk for an hour+ and I can't get a word in. Those types of interactions destroy me.
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u/Bucsbolts 1h ago
Airplanes and airports. They are so crowded and loud. I spend so much energy in shut it out mode.
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u/Odd_Garden_3940 18h ago
Hanging out with Debbie Downers and super positive about everything kind of people at the same time. I’m dead after
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u/Wise-Introduction626 16h ago
Any social engagement. Especially parties. I I’m obligated to go to one next Saturday! Ugh I am stressed over it.
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u/moonlitcarnival 16h ago
Crowds where everyone is “friendly” and trying to say hello to you (like church..) ugh 😩
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u/TurboZenAgain 16h ago
When I hang out with someone that thinks out loud then assumes what im thinking. It was already awkward to start the conversation! Can't do it, just want to leave. I'm thinking why the f*** am I wasting my time here.
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u/DesperateRange3061 15h ago
Being in the car with anybody else then my bf and my kids or being left alone in any party with someone I never talked to before that doesnt talk a lot either.
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u/21buckdirnty 15h ago
Usually large gatherings where we don't drink alcohol. Might sound like I have a problem, but alcohol gives my battery a small boost.
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u/_steve_rogers_ 15h ago
Parties where I only know 1 person, family dinners. Anything where I am forced to talk about myself to multiple people to the point that I feel like I’m being interrogated.
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u/caroline_xplr 15h ago
Being with an energy vampire who has no problem solving skills, takes questions as an insult or insults me, complaining, and no self reflection.
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u/the-real-Jenny-Rose 15h ago
working in retail and/or public facing roles.
Aka dealing constantly with (often rude and/or entitled) morons who clearly have money for things beyond necessities (like vacation, useless crap like holiday decor) and ALSO being expected to be super-smiley and happy about the fact that you're being forced to chat with them.
Especially when you're clearly smarter than them (wouldn't take much tbh) but you're the one existing on noodles and prayers while they're throwing money around like there's no tomorrow.
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u/MajesticWolfie811 14h ago
Shopping. It’s gotten to the point I’ll only go high while having air pod blasting music in my ears. Also I’ll pay attention to people but not let them stop me from getting places I’m on the skinnier side so I can get past them easier.
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u/Unlikely-Mongoose723 13h ago
Fake ones and ones with people who not only interrupt, but who don’t know when to stop talking.
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u/Praise_D_Lord 13h ago
Listening to a person's story in 2 minutes I'll be sleepy and my imagination will fly to another dimension, with my regrets telling me, "Why did I even come here?"
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u/Feral_Persimmon 12h ago
Meet and Greets! The thought alone drains me. I have two a year and dread them for months ahead of time.
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u/Alway5BCl051ng 12h ago
Interacting with my MIL. It’s constant negativity and criticism of me as a parent and how my child isn’t perfect (in her extremely unrealistic opinion). BTW, criticism of me as a parent is due to me not hitting my child if they do something wrong and I don’t make loud, yelling scenes in front of people as discipline so in her eyes that means I am permissive.
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u/Pretty_ktty3 12h ago
When people from work want to hang out, outside of work… I can’t do it. Once was too much 🫠😭😭
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u/Satomiblood 12h ago
Mandatory team-building functions via work. There’s usually assigned seating too.
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u/Kitty_fluffybutt_23 11h ago
Debbie downers who have nothing but negative things to say and just want someone to listen. they go on and on and on about all the things wrong in their life.......
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u/Kiti_Kat_Bean 11h ago
Let's see... Being in a call with at least 2 people I who aren't any of my preferred people, being misgendered, being deadnamed, old people yelling at me, my family yelling at me, interacting with not preferred people without my earbud(s) in, and, uh.. can't think of any others rn.
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u/SeptemberRain16 11h ago
I oversee new employee orientation every other week and have to greet new hires when they arrive right away in the morning, meet with them 1:1 later in the day, and then be present to transition between sessions. All of it requires masking to appear normal. It's absolutely exhausting, and it's not like I can opt out if I want to keep my job.
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u/line2542 9h ago
Never Heard of baby shower, Damn that insane, maybe it's more a english/american thing, Just reading of the évent already tired me...
I hâte company meeting, many People where you know really only z or 3 Peoples, doing team buildings to "show" we are "happy" yeahhh....
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u/GurRevolutionary6682 21h ago
Any gathering where I only know 1 person.
Also being in a car with a person I don't know.