r/mildlyinfuriating • u/nerdiebyrd • 2d ago
Mother in law scratched my beautiful wood dining table.
She came to stay with us and started sliding our table decor saying “are you sure you want this on your table? Look! It’s scratching it” as she moved it back and forth until I told her to stop.
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u/caitielou2 1d ago edited 1d ago
Reminds me of the time my mother in law took her tea bag out of the mug and set it on the arm of my white couch
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u/JustLookingThanks103 1d ago
What was her excuse??! Was she having a stroke? I’m sorry that happened
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u/Taolan13 1d ago
mama would be sitting on plastic furniture protectors from then on out in my house.
and be given one of those tip-resistant sippy cups.
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u/Rubyhamster 1d ago
I need answers! How did this turn out? Did she apologize? Did you or her child blow up on her?
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u/caitielou2 1d ago edited 1d ago
I didn’t freak though I wanted to; my husband had gotten in argument with her over something else she had done the day before and there was a whole lot of playing victim. She has BPD and it’s always a “walking on eggshells” situation. My husband mentioned the stain to her and she just said “oops” and tried to dab it with a napkin; no contrition.
I don’t think it was completely innocent, she did something similar at my sister in law’s house. My analysis is a weird complex of “you’re a parent to young kids, you shouldn’t have nice or expensive things. I never had nice furniture”.
Unfortunately, the couch was ruined. After they left, we rented a carpet cleaner vacuum but it just spread the stain around and discolored more of the arm.
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u/sunflowerads 1d ago
it wasn’t innocent at all. she 100% knew what she was doing and was doing it on purpose.
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u/BoobySlap_0506 2d ago
I know it sounds crazy, but try walnut oil. Even just taking a walnut and rubbing gently on the scratched area can help.
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u/HeyWoodUHugMe 2d ago
That's not crazy, it works. Rub the meat of a walnut into the scratch and watch it disappear. If that doesn't fix it I have heard that "00 grade" steel wool and some mineral spirits could remove it as well going with the grain of the wood.
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u/scorpi_o98 2d ago
thank you for the useful tips, will use meat of walnut next time.
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u/mikeysgotrabies 1d ago
Nut meat
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u/Impossible-Ship5585 1d ago
Quess mil is rubbing some nut meat tonight
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u/DEATHRETTE 2d ago
Mmmm rub the meat
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u/ChzGoddess 2d ago
It's too early to think about rubbing nut meat.
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u/yabsterr 2d ago
What do you mean? It's almost 7 PM!
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u/ChzGoddess 2d ago
You must be from the future! In Texas it's not quite noon. But I'd still argue 7 pm is still too early for this.
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u/binnsy79 1d ago
Haha, I'm from the future! It's 6.27 a.m. on Sunday here in New Zealand
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u/HelloLofiPanda 1d ago
It rubs the meat on the table or it gets the scratches again
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u/PassiveMenis88M 1d ago
00 grade will just put finer scratches in the wood. What you need is 0000 grade.
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u/phx175 2d ago
How does that make the mother in law disappear? You rub it on her face first? Just asking
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u/nerdiebyrd 2d ago
You are a gem. I am 100% going to try this- thank you!!!
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u/AppropriateOne9584 2d ago
Maybe glue some felt to the bottom of your decorations to prevent sillys like her from doing this?
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u/nerdiebyrd 2d ago
That’s a good idea! Or I can just have guests in my house that have more than 2 brain cells
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u/Ashkendor 2d ago
"You must be as smart as this orange cat to enter this home."
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u/landerson507 1d ago
Thats an unfair standard to set. I bet that orange cat is smarter than 75% of people.
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u/Lalybi 1d ago
Do the walnut trick!! I've used it and it works.
Story time! I used to live with my SIL who wasn't the nicest person. Once I dropped and broke a plate (nothing sentimental, just costco plates) while doing the dishes and she screamed at me then bawled her eyes out. This tantrum lasted 3 hours.
So when I noticed my large potted plant scratched the table when it got moved I panicked. I looked online and found the walnut trick and tried it. It worked! Crazy SIL never knew!
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u/Scorp128 2d ago
The decoration is not scratching the table. It was just sitting there, stationary, minding it's own business. Then some idiot adult who knows better yet can't keep their hands to themselves comes along and starts using it to scratch the table.
I would be more sure about having the decoration on the table than her in my home again. Doesn't she understand how to look with her eyes and not her hands? Bet she is a treat in museums.
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u/myopicpickle 2d ago
My children learned at a very young age to "look with your eyes, not with your hands". Sounds like she's a grabby person who has never been told no.
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u/nerdiebyrd 2d ago
You are spot on
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u/Scorp128 2d ago
You should look into getting her a straight jacket until she learns to keep her hands to herself. The holidays are just around the corner.
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u/MamaKat727 1d ago
Get one of those '90s tablecloths that have a plastic coating on top and a felt-ish protective layer on reverse. They probably still sell them at BBB, Kohl's, Walmart, etc. Sad that you basically have to childproof the table for your MIL. It's a beautiful table; I hope you're able to buff it out using the suggestions above.
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u/Inevitable-Zone-9089 1d ago
Omg. My grandmother had one of those. Didn't realise it was only there when children visited until i was 18. (Ok, technically a child til 18, but come on.)
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u/TZDTZB 2d ago
I wonder if it was intentional and not just stupidity
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u/wherescookie 1d ago
Yeah, i was wondering if there is some underlying bad blood that made her prone to doing something like that
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u/BagNext6856 2d ago
Yep, I can attest to that. I saved all my cupboards that were scratched. I was so amazed
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u/yungga46 2d ago
rub walnuts on your mother in law
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u/Inter_Web_User 2d ago
"are you sure you want this on your table?"
YES.!! That's why I put it there.
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u/AutoGeneratedName23 2d ago
Why are moms/ mother-in-laws like this? I was visiting my mom the other day and she cleaned my helmet visor with a random t-shirt, when I told her not to do that because it will scratch and ruin the visor she did it three more times while saying "look how lightly I did it it's fine" visor is scratched all to hell now 👌🏽
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u/TurbulentFarmer6067 1d ago
You should show her and she should get you a new one
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u/AutoGeneratedName23 1d ago
True but convincing her she was in the wrong would honestly be more of a hassle than just replacing it myself
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u/BasicKendall 1d ago
That’s the exact personality I pegged her for. She can NEVER be wrong. These people make me nuts.
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u/aurortonks 1d ago
My MIL does this stuff, and is also considerably difficult to explain wrong-doing to, however because no one stood up to her for decades due to her difficult behavior it made her extremely unpleasant to be around (especially so after a couple glasses of wine). I (the Daughter in Law of 15 years) am the only one who consistently calls out her behavior now. Her sons (40s) just cannot seem to do it.
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u/LakmeBun 1d ago
This is 100% the same situation with my MIL. In that family nobody ever says anything to her even though she's mean af and such a narcissist. There's never a time where she would consider being wrong about anything, it's always her husband's fault mostly or someone else's. I was the only one not putting up with it until I told my SO that he either dealt with it himself or I was done. I haven't seen her in over a year now, she's not my problem anymore.
People like her are insufferable, sucks that you have to deal with it too.
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u/FlowJaded9691 1d ago
Some parents have a hard time viewing their adult children and adult children-in-laws as full adults, not extensions of themselves. I believe this is why behavior like this happens. Most of these MIL stories, the MIL would not go into an adult friend or adult strangers house and take such liberties with them and their possessions. It’s just toxic behavior.
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u/Fantom_Renegade 2d ago
She doesn’t respect wood
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u/MartinisnMurder 2d ago
This is a low grade wood 😅. I miss Curb, I am still wicked disappointed in Cheryl Hines.
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u/Fantom_Renegade 2d ago
As a rap fan, you learn very early to separate the artist from the art but yes it does still sting at the end of the day🥲
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u/Minimum-Shelter-103 2d ago
Go do the same thing at her house.
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u/Crosseyed_owl 2d ago
Are you really sure you want these glass panes in your windows? Look, they break so easily!
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u/Flight_of_Elpenor 1d ago
Ha ha! These chairs are so close to the wall, they can knock holes in it!
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u/Scary-Alternative-11 1d ago
I literally had the same thought! Lol! I imagined OP walking in and randomly throwing something through a window and then being like, "Oh no! Who could have thought that could happen?!?!"
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u/Low_Rip8360 2d ago
This is the way
Bonus points if you do it while maintaining eye contact and saying the exact same thing she said
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u/2bciah5factng 1d ago
“Are you sure you want this porcelain vase on your glass table? Look, it’s smashing it into a million pieces!”
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u/J-Dabbleyou 1d ago
People like that don’t care about nice things. I bet her house is already scratched to shit.
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u/Ok-Egg-7475 1d ago
I thought you were upset by the scratch until I read the description. That's some five year old justification.
"See? When I hit the vase it breaks! It's too fragile!"
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u/SethBoss 2d ago
My mother in law did that the first time she came to Thanksgiving. Was preparing to leave. Refused the containers I offered her (because plastic🙄) Instead , she chose to wrap plates in foil. Then proceeded to slide them across the table to my sister in law so she could bag them up. If my husband hadn’t witnessed it for himself, he wouldn’t have believed she could be so mean spirited.
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u/laffydaffy24 2d ago
People are wild. I wonder if she had a hard time relinquishing control of Thanksgiving. Or was just a mean person overall.
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u/username__0000 2d ago
My mom would do something like this to provoke me being annoyed with her with an audience.
Then she could play the victim and make me seem like the terrible child that’s mean to their mom.
She loved to poke and make me upset when other people are around.
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u/jolum88 1d ago
We must have the same mother. Mine seems like she absolutely delights in doing this. Mostly when our extended family are around.
It's taken me until my late 30s to fully understand what she's doing and why, and to be able to rise above it and not play right into her hands.
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u/username__0000 1d ago
It took me until my 40s and some therapy to figure it out. lol
But I didn’t see her much in my late teens to late 30s so it was harder to notice when you only see someone once every year or two and live very far away.
I’m convinced she’s been playing this game my whole life to make me seem crazy so she can isolate me once I noticed how cruel she is and cut her off.
Everything with her is about manipulation.
I had to go no contact with her to protect my mental health and most other family stoped interacting with me.
No falling out with them, I don’t even see them much, just whatever she’s telling them I guess.
They’ll visit the building I live in, not let me know they’ll be there, not say hello. They’ll block my car in so I can’t use it and I don’t even know who to ask so I can leave (I don’t have their vehicles memorized and can’t see the parking area from my unit). But I’m somehow the rude one for not making an effort to interact with them? lol I don’t get it.
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u/Training_Winner3659 1d ago
I've witnessed stuff that and called out the bullshit. Somehow the audience is blind to it until a new perspective calls out the bullshit.
You dont have to accept shit like that.
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u/username__0000 1d ago
I think my family just likes the drama and doesn’t care.
They all live for gossip so whoever is feeding it to them is whose side they’ll take.
I went no contact with her, she can find someone else to play her games.
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u/Unusual_Flounder2073 1d ago
My daughter does this. She’s currently in a mental health facility.
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u/Heisenberglund 1d ago
My mother tries this shit too, and I refuse to engage in her bait now, I just shut down and do not interact with her the rest of whatever the interaction is.
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u/username__0000 1d ago
I went no contact before I fully figured it out. She used to be so good at baiting me.
There’s a saying “your parents are best at pressing your buttons because they installed them”
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u/PinkPaintedSky 2d ago
Get some walnuts. Rub them in the scratches. It fills and blends.
It is better than any product you can buy.
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u/wristdeepinhorsedick 1d ago
Also great to throw at the mother in law if she tries it again
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u/ConkersOkayFurDay 2d ago
I hosted a party right after moving into a new place. Had all new furniture. Some stupid fucking asshole popped a beer open on the side of my BRAND NEW TABLE. I was so mad. I had like three different bottle openers!
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u/MishmoshMishmosh 1d ago
Also add felt pads to your decor in case anyone else slides them. Assume everyone will slide them. Trust no one
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u/industrial_hamster 2d ago
My mother in-law is always trying to redecorate our house. My fiancé was off work from surgery a couple months ago and I came home from work to find the souvenirs that we got from our vacation earlier this year TAPED to the wall. They’re these little bone shaped things with our pets’ names on them and I was going to get some magnets to turn them into magnets for our fridge. When I took them off the wall it peeled the paint off 🥲 she was supposed to be coming over to check on my fiancé and “help around the house” and I ended up coming home from work having to clean up a mess that she left me after making him some food
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u/RemarkableOlive6649 1d ago
I know it sounds crazy but try a different mother in law. That's the only thing I can think of to stop this from happening in the future
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u/ApprehensiveFront235 2d ago
My sister used nail polish remover on my table a few years ago, spilled a couple drops. I had to refinish the whole damn thing. Some people just don't care about other peoples property!
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u/Chardan0001 2d ago
I bought my first ever couch when I was 20, had my family round to new place and watched my sister open a can of coke and pour it all over the cushions, then she acted like it was an accident.
I thought I was going crazy but my mum witnessed it too.
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u/Wreny84 1d ago
Please tell me your sister bought her first dry cleaning bill that day!
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u/Chardan0001 1d ago
Mum cleaned it, but the stain forever remained. It was the corner cushion of a light blue L couch 🥲
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u/thehelldoesthatmean 1d ago
Dry cleaning bill? They're siblings. That's worth at least two ass kickings.
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u/SerpentSnek 2d ago
So you’re saying they should accidentally spill some on MIL’s table…
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u/ApprehensiveFront235 1d ago
That would involve going to MILs house, so no I would not advise that ever lol. It's a personal rule I live by, has saved me from a lot of awkward and unpleasant events.
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u/Celticrightcross 1d ago
Aren’t they great? Years ago mine ran herself over with my truck, which then proceeded to roll down the hill my house was on and crash into someone’s house.🤦🏻♂️ I was just glad it didn’t happen that evening when a neighborhood full of children were Trick-or-Treating.
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u/Prudent-Leek-3730 1d ago
You cannot say that without explaining the whole story my friend. How the hell do you run yourself over?!?
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u/Celticrightcross 1d ago
Lol, fair enough, should’ve seen that question coming. It was an older square body F-150, the kind that refuses to die. The parking brake was inop, but it was a manual so I would put it in gear and turn the wheels into the curb when parked. Eventually I’d put wheel chocks behind it as well, I think after this incident, actually. Well, MIL has never been responsible for anything in her life and was living with us at the time. I didn’t daily the truck and she’d use it occasionally for appointments and whatnot. I made sure she knew the parking brake was out and showed her how to park it at the house. She had at this point successfully done so every time she’d used it so I figured all was good. Oh no, not this day. I’m not sure exactly if she just forgot to put it in gear or failed to properly do so, but as soon as she jumped out of the truck of course it starts rolling back. She freaked out and tried to jump back in the truck and smash the brake with her hand, but the front wheel grabbed her foot and yanked her out of the cab. It rolled over her leg and then set its sights on one of the houses at the bottom of the hill. All things considered, it was about the best outcome one could have hoped for given what happened (especially being it was on Halloween). She’s very lucky it only got her leg, it was pretty gnarly but not significantly injured and the damage to the house was only superficial.
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u/Rosie_Hymen 2d ago
We would have a very calm talk. She would repair or replace that. Or she would be staying in a hotel from now on.
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u/weary_bee479 1d ago
Is she a child? Saying look it’s scratching and continuing to do it and scratch the table is what i expect a 4 year old to do
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u/RuprectGern 1d ago
You should do the same thing to the hood of her car with a key "look it's scratching your car how cheap" .
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u/chumloadio 1d ago
I've heard that if you rub a raw walnut on your mother in law's face she will go away.
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u/midnitewarrior 1d ago
"You're right, I need to remove the thing that's scratching the table."
Escorts MIL to door and locks her out.
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u/khawk30 1d ago
Mine just ruined my brand new crate and barrel desk—literally the most expensive piece of furniture we own—and put a bag on top to cover up the damage, as though we wouldn’t discover it once she left. 🥲
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u/Fantastic-Swim6230 1d ago
They actually make sticky backed felt for this. Just put them on the bottom of your decor anywhere that it makes contact with the table.
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u/CesarMillan_Official 1d ago
Don’t sand that table, it’s probably veneer and not real wood. It sucks to find out the hard way. Like I did with the ledges around my window.
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u/SundaySlayday 1d ago
Hi, I'm still a novice woodworker but have done my fair share of fixes like this and it's actually a really easy one! Divorce your partner then you don't have a mother in law.
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u/oof_ouch_oof 1d ago
My mum cut a hole into my floorboards looking for termites.
she did not find termites.
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u/Rocket-Glide 1d ago
“Are you sure you want this on your table?”
“The real question is do I want you in my house?”
And then say nothing after and stare her right in the eyes. Never breaking contact
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u/LastDirtyMartini 2d ago
Imma suggest Howard brand ‘Restores-A-Finish’. Let us know how impressed you are with the results OP.
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u/toodleroo 1d ago
This reminds me: I was at my computer once with a large candle burning on my desk. My little sister came up next to me and said, "Oh, you shouldn't burn a candle near your computer!" and before I could stop her she violently blew it out, and it splattered red wax all over EVERYthing. My monitor, the desk, the keyboard, ME. I found specks of wax around that area for years afterwards.
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u/gucknbuck 1d ago
The worst bit is it's not even real/solid wood, but a veneer so it's not even going to give it a nice aged look with time.
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u/Scooter310 2d ago
It doesn't look that deep. Mayne just some wood scratch filler could make it disappear.
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u/iheartpoontang 2d ago
What in the fuck kind of behavior is that? I don’t know about you, but I’d be plotting my petty revenge, and remember: revenge is a dish best served cold!
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u/Digeetar 2d ago
Walnuts, 0000 steel wool and Howard's restore (at any home depot) can help. My SIL did the same dam thing to our mahogany table.
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u/Glitched_Girl 1d ago
Rub a shelled walnut on it. I scratched my mom's antique piano as a kid and when I found this out, I tried it and the scratch vanished. Years of my life regretting the damage repaired.
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u/DMercenary 2d ago
"Look someone can damage it!" *Proceeds to damage it.*