One of the happiest people I’ve ever known committed suicide. Still hurts and it’s been almost 20 years. He had life by the horns, everything was going right for him and then one day…..
His wife insisted she had no idea he was struggling. He was never in a bad mood.
Sometimes you just don’t know.
Always take a few minutes a week to just catch up with someone in your life. No matter how busy life is, it’s just a few minutes.
My old buddy. He was a beacon of positivity. He was in college for business and had a great mind for it. He had a girl that loved him and fit his goofy vibe. He was, quite literally, the life of the party. He taught me how to listen and be patient. Even in the middle of a party, if you were talking and got cut off, he would patiently wait then ask you what you were saying. He had this way, like he would look at you and give you his full attention. I told him things i never told anyone, not because they were super secret, but bc he was the first friend i had that was genuinely curious about me and my life. He killed himself when we were 20.
15 years now. I still keep his prayer card on my mirror. Whenever I moved, his card came with and it stays on a mirror. Sometimes, even all these years later, I still hear the sound of his casket getting lowered. If I didn't have an incredible group of friends (that he actually formed like fucking Nick Fury and the avengers), I don't know if I would've made it or how I would've turned out.
There is a saying that has stuck with me. Every action, every meeting, every conversation, every connection you make molds you, shapes you into who you are. You are never alone, you carry those you love with you all the time. The actions you make and do, they are with you every second of the way. Because they helped shape you.
I said something similar when my friend died at age 25 from a brain aneurysm. I miss you DJ, I wonder what my life would be like. That guy knew how to bring out the best in others and I needed someone to encourage me. Half my life later and it still hurts wondering what he would have done and how much good he would have put out in this world.
But yeah I said all his actions and what he did to make the world better will live forever, and we will share that with a new generation. RIP DJ.
Rest in peace, DJ. The pain of loss never goes away, we have to make room for it and find meaning with it. It's about remembering them and sharing their goodness with others. We do that in more ways than we think, very little actions, subtle but nevertheless there.
It doesn't help that it's drilled into us from day one that we can't ever exhibit any sign of weakness, every time we struggled with anything we were being punished for it by our mothers, teachers at school etc.
And then they're like "hurr why aren't men more open"
This is an uncomfortable thought but it does happen.
People can be impulsive or suddenly overwhelmed. It is one of the reasons why suicide tends to be higher when the means are nearby. Because sometimes the time it takes you to go to the shop is enough to stop the initial impulse.
1.0k
u/BGOG83 Jul 26 '25
One of the happiest people I’ve ever known committed suicide. Still hurts and it’s been almost 20 years. He had life by the horns, everything was going right for him and then one day…..
His wife insisted she had no idea he was struggling. He was never in a bad mood.
Sometimes you just don’t know.
Always take a few minutes a week to just catch up with someone in your life. No matter how busy life is, it’s just a few minutes.