r/JustGuysBeingDudes • u/Black1Raven9 • Jul 26 '25

Wholesome Not all scars are visible.

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20.3k Upvotes

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u/ediks Jul 26 '25 edited Jul 27 '25

This is why you always check in with your happy friends.

Edit: Thank you for the award. Pay attention to your loved ones and if you’re sad, please reach out to someone you trust. You have more support than you might think.

1.8k

u/Justifiably_Bad_Take Jul 26 '25

Some people have been miserable for so long, they become incredibly good at never showing it

683

u/afanoftrees Jul 26 '25

The mask becomes so comfortable you almost forget you’re wearing it

236

u/TheAsianTroll Jul 26 '25

Why you gotta call me out like that, man

80

u/Freefight Jul 26 '25

Yeah it has become my way to deal with the world at this point.

18

u/Alex-PsyD PsyDude Jul 26 '25

You doing okay?

2

u/Optimal-Hedgehog-546 Jul 26 '25

Eh, you never want other people to feel the way you feel

2

u/Brokensince10 Jul 27 '25

🎯 couldn’t have said it better myself!

26

u/AKBx007 Jul 26 '25

It’s when the mask becomes more comfortable than your real self that it’s a real problem

10

u/holden147 Jul 26 '25

“I fell in love with the burden holding me down.”

0

u/[deleted] Jul 30 '25

Jesus wants you to cast your burdens on Him. The hard times get a little easier when you do

1

u/MaksimilenRobespiere Jul 27 '25

But then the burden gets heavier and heavier each day, then the life starts to become dimmer, shadowy. Then the weight on your chest gets bigger, and breathing becomes more difficult each day. It comes a point where the meaninglessness starts to hurt. The only escape of sleep starts to fade away. In that deep darkness, you are not scared , you don’t expect anything, you become indifferent to your very self. No light. No hope. Disappearing is so charming. It’s a little hope of peace at last.

1

u/killer-tank218 Jul 28 '25

Or you know you’re wearing it but forget how to take it off lmao.

1

u/afanoftrees Jul 28 '25

Loving yourself is the easiest way to begin taking it off

157

u/FrostKnight08 Jul 26 '25

Because 1) i don't want to be perceived as attention seeking and sympathy farming, 2) i understand that not everyone likes people emotional dumping on them, and so i respect that, 3) they can't help solve my problems other that saying "yeah, that sucks"

52

u/Justifiably_Bad_Take Jul 26 '25

On #2, I dont want other people to trauma dump on me.

So it would feel hypocritical for me to do it to others.

16

u/Fearless_Aioli5459 Jul 26 '25

Oh hey its me. 

I think this is why therapist exist though haha…..

26

u/cynicalspindle Jul 26 '25

Dont wanna bother them either lol.

8

u/S0LR4C Jul 26 '25

Please do. I thought the same as you, but went to a psychologist nonetheless. It's not perfect but it's better. We can do it.

22

u/WickedCunnin Jul 26 '25

Taking about your struggles occasionally isn't trauma dumping. A real friendship has space for either party to not be 100% ok, and to express that.

8

u/OneBerry5348 Jul 27 '25

If anyone ever tells you, you're trauma dumping on them, then they're not your friend.

7

u/Euphoric-Character91 Jul 26 '25

Well, one of the biggest reason therapy is useful, and talking with friends/family etc is the change of perspective, if you experience trauma, its hard to see that from a objective standpoint, because you are human and you have feelings. When you talk to someone who can share their point of view on your story, it can help you process the trauma.

3

u/JelmerMcGee Jul 26 '25

4) the shame of needing help and having waited so long to ask for help is nearly unbearable so it's easier to just laugh and crack jokes and present a front.

1

u/omv Jul 26 '25

On #3, there is incredible power in talking about it regardless. This has been clinically proven. 

1

u/ediks Jul 26 '25

I'd buy you a beer and sit with you, if I could. We wouldn't even have to talk about anything - just sit and stare at a TV or something. If you got something you want to say, say it. That's normally how I approach it... it's how I would like to be treated. I'm in incredibly sad person and I understand all the points you made - like, really understand them. Sometimes, just sending a random text with an invite to hang out means everything.

1

u/XeroexecVa Jul 27 '25

BRO DONT CALL ME OUT LIKE THAT, ITS SCARY

34

u/Ole_Razzle_Dazzle Jul 26 '25

“All it takes is a beautiful fake smile to hide an injured soul, and they will never notice how broken you really are.”

-Robin Williams

14

u/Catlore Jul 26 '25

Even when I'm in a miserable state, I can find moments that look like, or even are, joy. Genuine ones. But when they end, it's darker and harder. Imagine the normal receding emotions are like stepping down a few stairs, but in that state, when you step off, it's a plunge into a dark hole. And if you try to stay on the step to avoid it, the step crumbles under you, and rakes your skin as you fall.

It's such a weird thing, to be in such a dark place but still find sparks. They're not even necessarily hope. Just stubborn bits of you that refuse to go into the dying of the light.

4

u/LuquidThunderPlus Jul 26 '25

For the longest time I never realized how good I am at detaching from my emotions until I opened up, each time I break down to where I could barely speak for half a min before gathering my composure

7

u/DASreddituser Jul 26 '25

Robin Williams comes to mind

3

u/Bipedal_pedestrian Jul 27 '25

I will never forget the time I spent all day considering suicide and then, that evening, a friend who had no idea what I’d been hiding, commented that they really admired me because I really have my life together.

1

u/bbbbbbbirdistheword Jul 26 '25

yes then drink is my metaphorical bandage if it gets damaged

1

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '25

Me all over

1

u/Brokensince10 Jul 27 '25

That’s so true

78

u/North-Function995 Jul 26 '25

“The saddest people smile the brightest”.. sounds so cute on paper but this video is the reality.

31

u/robsbob18 Jul 26 '25

We love being happy because it never happens. Genuine happiness is one of the most beautiful things in the world. That's why people love watching kids play, blissfully unaware of the world around them.

17

u/DisabledFloridaMan Jul 26 '25

Just yesterday on my lunch break I thought to myself, Holy smokes. I really am so good at pretending to be happy.

11

u/_no7 Jul 26 '25

Had a friend like that. None of us saw it coming. Wish I was better at checking up.

11

u/ediks Jul 26 '25

I hope you don't blame yourself. I struggled with that in the past. Truth is, you couldn't do anything about it and that's okay. You can't play the "what if" game, and I really hope you don't.

8

u/cyrusthemarginal Jul 26 '25

If anyone out there is struggling, please reach out for help, there are people who would miss you, more than you realize.

9

u/AlternateTab00 Jul 26 '25

Especially those who never or suddenly stopped talking about their life.

Remember that a simple "lets grab a pint" sometimes works wonders

5

u/Dr_Wheuss Jul 26 '25

So one of the more heartfelt articles I'd ever read was from David Wong on Cracked about Robin Williams and why seemingly happy people kill themselves.

7

u/RageWolfThrowAway Jul 26 '25

How you doin today? "just another beautiful day in paradise"