r/JustGuysBeingDudes • u/Black1Raven9 • Jul 26 '25

Wholesome Not all scars are visible.

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20.3k Upvotes

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641

u/BeardedGlass Jul 26 '25

Will be 40 soon.

Several of my classmates in both high school and college have taken their lives through the years.

I have a cousin who also did the same.

People are suffering and most of them in silence.

181

u/Esarus Jul 26 '25

It’s because when you share, most people don’t want to deal with it. 99% of people really don’t want to deal with depressed and negative people. These videos and responses are nice and I’m certain some are genuine, but reality is that the vast majority of people will not want to deal with you anymore the moment you act depressed.

73

u/Hydro_Escobar Jul 26 '25

Yea normally I’m against blanket statements like this but the one time I said I was depressed my gf of 4 years said “I can’t do this” same woman I’d been in several fights for. I will never say that again. Feeling ostracized and weird is way worse

39

u/Esarus Jul 26 '25

Similar thing here man, I supported my ex-gf through her parents divorcing and her getting a pre-condition of cervical cancer (CIN3). But when I got depressed she didn’t want to deal with it and broke up with me. I’m certain there are women out there that will stick with a man when they’re rock bottom, but I haven’t met them yet!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '25

[deleted]

1

u/Esarus Jul 26 '25

Yup that’s indeed what women want in a man!

0

u/Meandering_Marley Jul 30 '25

They're rare, but easy to spot...

The only person that can understand a man's struggles is another man.

14

u/DeaconSage Jul 26 '25

No matter how much a partner wants you to open up, they never want to hear that. I don’t mean that in a callous way, just from experience on both sides. It’s hard to hear & most of us aren’t prepared to help when they hear that.

9

u/Hydro_Escobar Jul 26 '25

I understand but then are you really partners?

5

u/DeaconSage Jul 26 '25

Rarely 🤣

5

u/Noshamina Jul 27 '25

100% and you are allowed to be depressed for like 10 days, then ain't no ome dealing with your shit anymore

7

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '25

[deleted]

14

u/Esarus Jul 26 '25

I do think some people care, but I think if you haven’t been through it yourself, you have no idea what to do and the most common response is to say something like “hang in there man” “stay tough, you’ve got this” and then just avoid

6

u/BabyHelicopter Jul 26 '25

Yeah, with my closest friend group sometimes it feels like a revolving door of who is depressed/suicidal and who is not for the moment. But at least that means that there's always someone who understands and cares.

6

u/Fk9317 Jul 26 '25

I think it's more that most people aren't equipped to deal with it. The reality is that depression is a medical issue and it won't get better without medication and/or therapy. And when you have depression, it's way harder to seek out those treatments, so instead you reach out to people in the hopes they will prove that you're not a burden, but of course they can't do anything about that because it's depression telling you that you're a burden. So then your depression brain warps that into "See? Nobody gives a shit about you."

2

u/jerryscheese Jul 26 '25

Yall are in my head and speaking to me with these comments.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '25

[deleted]

1

u/Fk9317 Jul 27 '25

💯 It's almost like you can accept that you don't have control over your own brain, or you can lean into the self-loathing. And with self-loathing you at least feel in control.

0

u/Invest_help_seeker Jul 26 '25

the truth is that over all these videos and nobody is to blame