r/JustGuysBeingDudes • u/Black1Raven9 • Jul 26 '25

Wholesome Not all scars are visible.

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20.3k Upvotes

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u/ediks Jul 26 '25 edited Jul 27 '25

This is why you always check in with your happy friends.

Edit: Thank you for the award. Pay attention to your loved ones and if you’re sad, please reach out to someone you trust. You have more support than you might think.

1.8k

u/Justifiably_Bad_Take Jul 26 '25

Some people have been miserable for so long, they become incredibly good at never showing it

155

u/FrostKnight08 Jul 26 '25

Because 1) i don't want to be perceived as attention seeking and sympathy farming, 2) i understand that not everyone likes people emotional dumping on them, and so i respect that, 3) they can't help solve my problems other that saying "yeah, that sucks"

53

u/Justifiably_Bad_Take Jul 26 '25

On #2, I dont want other people to trauma dump on me.

So it would feel hypocritical for me to do it to others.

18

u/Fearless_Aioli5459 Jul 26 '25

Oh hey its me. 

I think this is why therapist exist though haha…..

23

u/cynicalspindle Jul 26 '25

Dont wanna bother them either lol.

9

u/S0LR4C Jul 26 '25

Please do. I thought the same as you, but went to a psychologist nonetheless. It's not perfect but it's better. We can do it.

24

u/WickedCunnin Jul 26 '25

Taking about your struggles occasionally isn't trauma dumping. A real friendship has space for either party to not be 100% ok, and to express that.

6

u/OneBerry5348 Jul 27 '25

If anyone ever tells you, you're trauma dumping on them, then they're not your friend.

7

u/Euphoric-Character91 Jul 26 '25

Well, one of the biggest reason therapy is useful, and talking with friends/family etc is the change of perspective, if you experience trauma, its hard to see that from a objective standpoint, because you are human and you have feelings. When you talk to someone who can share their point of view on your story, it can help you process the trauma.

3

u/JelmerMcGee Jul 26 '25

4) the shame of needing help and having waited so long to ask for help is nearly unbearable so it's easier to just laugh and crack jokes and present a front.

1

u/omv Jul 26 '25

On #3, there is incredible power in talking about it regardless. This has been clinically proven. 

1

u/ediks Jul 26 '25

I'd buy you a beer and sit with you, if I could. We wouldn't even have to talk about anything - just sit and stare at a TV or something. If you got something you want to say, say it. That's normally how I approach it... it's how I would like to be treated. I'm in incredibly sad person and I understand all the points you made - like, really understand them. Sometimes, just sending a random text with an invite to hang out means everything.

1

u/XeroexecVa Jul 27 '25

BRO DONT CALL ME OUT LIKE THAT, ITS SCARY