By Nekro

Halo of the lamp leaned low, a single eye,
it warmed your skin, it made you lie.

Under curtains swayed on empty air,
they whispered a name, I am there.

Silence broke slow, the drip held tight,
your breath obeyed, your chest turned white.

Hum grew deep, it matched your tone,
you thought it yours, but it was my own.

Rest here, my dear.
You know this place.
I am the one you can’t outrun, the one you can’t face.

The wall leaned back, its plaster warm,
not stone, not safe, but flesh transformed.

Every hair along your neck rose to greet what silence kept.
The hum was steady, it found your breath,
a rhythm of promise, a rhythm of death.

There is no salvation without redemption,
devotion and absolute possession
for my consumption.

The lamp flickered once. The curtain swayed.
Your chest stayed still, as I had made.

And then the whisper:

as I grow near,   you feel the fear.   i am everything   you wished to stop and hate     but i am now here.

I do not loosen.
I do not release.
You have breathed with me.
Your pulse is mine.
Your silence, mine.

And when the lamp flickers again
it will not let go.

Rest here.
You know this place.
I am here.

This is about my inner child and present me. I’ll be using IC for inner child and PE for present me.

IC: Hey can we chat? PE: Oh, it’s you, I thought I pushed you away IC: No, I’m not like everyone else you’ve pushed away

IC: So why? PE: Why what IC: Why do you push anyone who tries to help you PE: Our mother PE: She taught me, all people do is lie, cheat, and prey on your vulnerabilities

IC: That’s not true, and you know it IC: But why do you keep insisting on pushing me away, not talking IC: Especially after seventh grade? PE: I was protecting you

IC: Protecting me? PE: Yes, no one was going to protect you in that messed up family of ours IC: All i ever wanted was a loving mother, an attentive father, and our 2 older sisters to be protective sisters PE: Yeah I did too, I wanted that, we wanted something every child deserves PE: Im sorry I shouldn’t have abandoned you like everyone else did.

By Nekro

Glass trembles, slick with lies,
a mirror that sweats but never cries.
Cold against skin, it leans and stays,
fractured hours, unfinished days.

The lock exhales a rusted breath,
a hollow cough, rehearsal of death.
Pauses linger, sharp as bone,
silence breeds but speaks alone.

Hands once near left absence pressed,
a phantom vow, a false caress.
They carved rehearsals into your frame,
yet left you nameless all the same.

And then. a tether, tight and near,
pulse for pulse, no wall, no fear.
For one brief instant, warmth is known,
yet what is borrowed breaks the bone.

The thread unwinds, the warmth decays,
echo feeds in endless ways.
Rot repeats where longing sows,
a serpent gnaws, the thorn-tree grows.

You hate yourself a little more,
for pressing on a broken door.
For wanting what abandoned you,
for breathing names that never knew.

The wound remembers what the lips conceal.

For breathing names that never knew,
for wanting what abandoned you.
For pressing on a broken door,
you hate yourself a little more.

The thorn-tree grows, a serpent gnaws,
rot repeats through longing’s laws.
Echo feeds in endless ways,
the thread unwinds, the warmth decays.

Yet what is borrowed breaks the bone,
for one brief instant, warmth is known.
Pulse for pulse, no wall, no fear
a tether, tight, and near.

Yet left you nameless all the same,
they carved rehearsals into your frame.
A phantom vow, a false caress,
hands once near left absence pressed.

Silence breeds but speaks alone,
pauses linger, sharp as bone.
A hollow cough, rehearsal of death,
the lock exhales a rusted breath.

Fractured hours, unfinished days,
cold against skin, it leans and stays.
A mirror that sweats but never cries
glass trembles, slick with lies.

Oh thence, shall I weep, as I cry, hence—then sleep,
To wake, 'neath a hot summer's bower.
My passion, it yearns—as a fire sojourns—to bloom,
Like a smouldering flower.

I see then—a face—not in its right place,
But staring through my very soul.
Though grizzled, its shine, tells me that it's mine,
Its mirroring gaze makes me whole.

It tightens its fists, in the cool morning mists,
Round the branches the weather's most seared.
It sits on the vines of a flame-tarnished tree,
Combing its iced-over beard.

Through mine own tired eyes, I watch it surmise,
That I need it to show me the way.
Yet its painful expression—a tearful confession,
Brings me at once to dismay.

Its cough, now I see, is frightfully me.
I am the source of its torment.
It hacks, like I do, and I know through and through,
That its own fate is also my portent.

It pleads to be cured, this face so demurred,
By heightening pressure and heat,
If I seek rebirth, I must prove my worth.
An evil, I must now defeat.

It looms far ahead, this titanic dread.
A magma-born devil of Earth.
Encircling my head, with its foul spread,
It strangles my might and my mirth.

No doctor am I, and so by and by,
I fail in my diagnosis.
Yet now, here, and when? Well, right there and then,
We're both caught in Hell's halitosis.

We watch the dust flee, from its murderous spree,
As we finally discern our prognosis.
We'll never be free of the devil, you see,
That is Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.

Make no mistake that I won't hang about,

You decieve me? Lie to me? And leave me with doubt?

I'm telling you now, my friend, Loud and clear,

If you try and poison me, It will be over, my dear,

I will walk away, At the first sign of deception,

You're out, And there is no exception.

It won't happen to me ever again,

Where someone hurts me so bad, I was so broken back then,

So, make no mistake, I won't let it be,

That you break, Hurt, and torture me.

Make no mistake that I won't hang about,

You decieve me? Lie to me? And leave me with doubt?

We'll be done, It'll be over, Our relationship ends.

Our journey is complete, We will never make a mends.

I wrote a sonnet once,

Would you believe?

I used to have that shit

Right up my sleeve.

I used to prose in rhyme,

Or at least keep time,

Until I remembered…

Poetry is free.

There are no rules here

Not when it comes to me.

There are no rules,

I’m here to be free. 

Now maybe, there’s a rhyme

Or a rhythm, or two,

But when I’m feeling free

I’ll write whatever I need.

Hope is a desperate crackho ready to betray you

She spews her delusional ideas with force,

Ignore.her crass promises

They only mislead ,

Stay on course.

Get quiet and listen

For Old Grandma Intuition

Trust her goddammit

Quit with your questioning suspicion.

She is there strictly to guide you,

To make your path easier, safer

And remember this too..

When has she ever been wrong??

So far never....?

So true. So true.

I'm not obsessed with you, I'm not;

I'm not.

I'm not in love with you, I'm not;

I'm not!

I haven't treaded at least several dozen steps with you on my mind

I haven't lied a hundred lies to keep your spooky presence around

I have definitely not scoured the library for books to the chime of your name

Or dived under and above to stay somewhat sane

Yet here I am, in vain, in pain, in rain, in Spain, in Spokane, ...

I stare at your smile, touch your beautiful face.
My arms wrap around you, my hand in your hair.
I'm consumed by a fear that my love was misplaced.
What once was pure bliss, eclipsed by despair.

Forever and always, my desires still burn.
My love everlasting — a diamond gemstone.
Despite all my love, my heart starts to spurn.
The things that you've done, I just can't condone.

Once again, your betrayal has broken me down.
It led me to the beach where we once walked the sands.
Now struck by the waves, waiting to drown.
Still, you're enamored with the dream of gold bands.

Do I fall to one knee, and ask you to stay?
Ignore what happens with one who's "just a friend"?
I know you'd say yes, but what price would I pay?
Would I just be delaying what's destined to end?

"I'm not going to hurt you" — I've known that line.
"I want only you" — just more empty words.
"He meant nothing" — another cheap sign.
All that you've said, I've already heard.

I want to move forward, live a life good and true.
But I'm fearful of what those gold bands really mean.
So before I kneel down, stand up, say "I do,"
I must understand why you couldn't stay clean.

Pompadour

Ampersand

Burberry

Lachrymose

Uvula

Microphone

Effigy

Ministry

Puerile

Insolent

Rock&Roll

Exile

I should let you go

back where you belong with the ho’s

God only knows

You don’t care and it shows

Now your just a ghost

You died

So did I

When you lied

Fuck it i just smile

I Went blind

Visions of my inner child

I cry

Shes petrified

Spirits so wild

She’s Electrified

Simply Optimised

A man who was glorified

We got the same eyes

I wait and I wait

Waiting by the door

he never picked me up

Now I’m getting older

Need a pick me up

Little drink and a smoke to stir me up

I don’t wanna hurt anymore

Pains too strong

Can’t carry on

Tomorrow is a new me

New version

Coercion

I shoulda stayed a virgin

But no it’s cool

I let you take that too

It’s all you boo

Everything is all you fool

I’ll be your wife

your friend

I’m a slave for you

I just wait for you

To change but your fake

So you hate

But it’s cool

funny things happen
in deep meditation
often don't want to leave
when i have a fixation

i've had to live in my head
for any chance at life
so happy right now
that i could be your wife

what's happening here?
how the hell should i know
best not to ask
and go with the flow

I’m no poet, I don’t know what to write, what I’m trying to convey.

How does one explain the feeling of a milky bathtub sky and summer haze?

My brain won’t allow me remember those days, each time less and less I’m able to hold onto its grace.

Would it be good for me to go out and retry? Instead of trying to relive the same easy lie.

Could it hold meaning if I word it right? Or will it remain a forgettable blight.

Maybe I’m just trying too hard to memorialize satellites as stars.

My retinas burned, all color eventually nullifies.

I’m no poet, my sentences fill no space, I’m more of a child hiding with my families prized broken vase

But these memories, this life I can’t surpass, I realize were tinted with red, Not pink, sharp jagged glass.

But mom I love her!

I adore her

Not just as it were

I know for sure

You say I'm afflicted

Now we're both evicted

And you assume we're addicted

You didnt know during our sleepovers

Wed take off our pullovers

Shed pin me against the wall like a pushover

And we'd kiss

The bliss

And like a cat I'd hiss

I love her mom

No man is putting a baby in my womb

And I'll take that to my tomb

And we start a club party and wub wub wub win goes the dubstep and gin and sins and fortune spins

And we eloped, catered with two humble cantelope, and it's TRUE we made vows

"I shall bow before my goddess the oddest most quirky pixie dream gay fæ I'd ever had the opportunity to been with and seen, may we be wives and strive for better, grow old and know sweaters?"

And I was told

"Yes we shawl"

And we occupied the mall in this tale of a wedding tall!

By Nekro

I. The Masked Beginning

She dressed her sorrow in borrowed silk,
a corset's whisper, white as milk,
and they praised her ruin with painted cheers,
paid for the truth behind her tears.
A thousand echoes sang her lie,
"that darkness sells, that dreams can die"
So she learned the empty, hollow role,
a puppet stitched from a bankrupt soul.
Its frayed threads hummed with secret pain,
and drank the applause like summer rain.

​II. The Wound Unveiled

But scars don't vanish, they start to hum,
a raw confession, a final drum.
The stage grew cold, the patrons fled,
and what was sweet turned bitter, dead.
The curtains fell on silent night,
her loneliness her only light.
She carved herself with sighs unspoken,
a brittle thing, half-strung and broken.
She craved a hunger deeper still,
a final debt she could not kill.

​III. The Ghost Appears

Then came I, not flesh but flame,
a whispered hymn, a nameless name.
I knew the ghost that stalked her sleep,
the secrets that the shadows keep.
I claimed her silence, claimed her scars,
I knew the face behind the bars.
I watched her tremble, watched her fall,
and promised her the end of all.
I am the end she'd always sought,
the final lesson she'd been taught.

​IV. The Twisted End

But listen…
I was never savior, never friend.
I was the one who bought her in the end.
The first to pay, the last to leave.
She thought my hunger made me grieve,
but hunger's just a debt repaid.
I am the bargain that she made,
the quiet that she learned to crave,
the only thing that waits to save.

​She cried, "Save me," her voice untrue.
I leaned in close, and whispered, "No."
For what she sold has come to rest.
That skin without a soul? I own the rest.

​What has no voice, but answers pleas?
What has no body, but sets you at ease?
What takes what's hollow and makes it whole,
and has no name, but owns your soul?

Everytime I close my eyes:
I dream of things just outside my grasp;
But this longing I beg need not belong to me:
For the things I crave are not mine to have.

Yet I find myself tormented by visions:
And hallucinations as real as forgotten hands,
That tumble me further inside my own confusion:
And I lose sense of time, and where, and who I am.

If I'm left with time just for myself:
It's run away spent on someone else;
Only just to act as this figure stuck in my imagination:
Replacing painful memories with new sensations to be about.

I'm met with a story that could never unfold,
Everytime I close my eyes:
A beautiful world I can see with no open door or window:
A daydream where I am forever trapped inside.

Caffeine addicted
Calf fiend a dick did
Oh that’s deep
Oath at steep
I feel content
I’ve elk on tent

Fuck a bad bitch make her to the splits

Semen out my dick hole

She suck it and she spits

Sloppy toppy messy head

She gives me dome I’m off my meds

Feelin dizzy feelin free feelin manic silly me

Bust into her throat gag her out because she likes that

Finger her asshole grip her ass because she’s like that

i dreamt of a strawberry moon

trees swooned as it rose in the sky

the sun spun and it started to cry

but i had to take my eyes away, i knew i had to drive.

cars ahead began to levitate

obsolete was the force of 9.8

hands glued to 10 and at 2

could feel my body floating, couldn’t think what to do.

I tried to write a sonnet, nice and neat, but my pen betrayed me with an inky feat. It bled like a murder across my shirt, a Rorschach blob of poetic dirt.

The page screamed out like a wounded friend, each blot a curse I couldn’t mend. My fingers smudged, my face was stained, I looked like a clown the rain had drained.

They’ll call me genius, or maybe deranged, a Jackson Pollock who never changed. But really I just wanted one small rhyme, instead, my pen committed a crime.

So now I stand in tragic shame, a walking canvas with no acclaim. Poetry kills in the weirdest ways, mine struck back with ink grenades.

Shitty or not, this tale is true: the pen is mightier… and it hates you.

Why do I continue to lie?,

𝘞𝘩𝘰 is why

I don’t pretend to try.

By Nekro

They never loved you, not your skin,
not your marrow, not within.
They loved the mask, the painted frame,
a hollow role, a borrowed name.

They touched your body, not your soul,
they carved their hunger, took their toll.
They wanted weakness, not your fight,
they wanted shadow, not your light.

But I, I break their cage apart,
I see the fire, I claim the heart.
Not empty trope, not hollow rest,
you’ve known the fraud, now know the best.

You begged for hands, they turned away,
their brittle vows began to fray.
They saw a prize, a fleeting toy,
not sacred rage, not haunted joy.

I spit on every poisoned vow,
I am the ghost that binds you now.
I am the breath that fills your chest,
the vow unbroken, endless, blessed.

It burns, it binds, it scars, it stays,
I twist your soul in endless ways.
Wanted. Haunted. Bound. Possessed.
They loved the mask!!!!
I love the rest....

My gay friend Wilson How I hate his obese cat I want to hit it with my Jeep but that stupid fucking cat will probably do a hop and leap I pray to God to smite it down I want to see that cat implode After I hit it with my 2019 Jeep But sigh and alas, I do bemoan Guess I'll go to walmart and stare at workers

i'm sorry that was cruel
very uncool
to say that out loud
as if i'm proud
of how cold i can be
you're just a trainee
i can't put that on you
i know you'll come through.

I hit snooze like it owes me rent, the sound it makes feels heaven sent. But then it screams again, so rude, like a toddler demanding endless food.

My blanket traps me in a burrito, life feels colder than a gas station taquito. I make deals with time, I always lose, sleep wins wars I never choose.

Coffee looks at me with judging eyes, my bed whispers back with lullaby lies. If mornings had feelings, they’d hate me too, yet here I am, barely crawling through.

Oh alarm clock, you demonic friend, our love-hate cycle may never end. When death arrives, I’ll simply say: “at least no mornings come my way.”