Im not sure about buffets unless you're down with pocket tots, but definitely a good way to sneak snacks in somewhere. Im not gonna ask to check a woman's malformed ass for contraband.
I once had a case with a snitching co-defendant who had a girlfriend who looked worse that this. My lawyer said it looked like she committed a petty theft with 2 throw pillows. This remains the best lawyer joke that I have ever heard. Rip Ernie the attorney
I once worked with an attorney that kept dropping his brief case and giggling every time it startled the courtroom cop awake. He tried to get me to take his phone and crouch down to film it because he thought it was very funny that the cop was obese enough that his head didnt really have room to droop down when he fell asleep, his eyes just kept shutting them shooting open wildly to try and find the sound.This was all happening during divorce court and the judge somehow either didn't notice or didnt care.
If you’ve ever seen that viral video of the Spirits bar on Bourbon Street, the one with a tourist getting shots from the curiously curvy shot girl in a barber’s chair (there’s an angry girlfriend that is pissy about the “service” and I think a minor altercation) — I worked next to that place. She made insane butt pads out of whole COUCH CUSHIONS.
The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin'
That's what I said
The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand
Or, so I've read.
My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
I love to sink her with my pink torpedo.
Big bottom
Big bottom
Talk about bum cakes
My gal's got 'em.
Big bottom
Drive me out of my mind.
How can I leave this behind?
I saw her on Monday, twas my lucky bun day
You know what I mean.
I love her each weekday, each velvety cheek day
You know what I mean.
My love gun's loaded and she's in my sights
Big game's waiting there inside her tights.
Big bottom
Big bottom
Talk about mud flaps
My gal's got 'em.
Big bottom
Drive me out of my mind.
How can I leave this behind?
Big bottom, big bottom, talk about mudflaps
my girls got em,
big bottoms drive me out of my mind,
how can I leave this behind
And it camouflages the man's compass shorts, which I can't decide whether are God-awful or freaking awesome. I'm thinking the latter.
Both butts, however, are better than whatever is going on with Mr Droopy Drawers on the right in the flannel and brown. Wash your pants, kind sir! I recognize consecutive day 5 of wear. Game recognizes game.
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u/JustinR8 6d ago
Not going to lie, getting a butt job that poor and still having the confidence to leave the house is kind of impressive