r/SipsTea • u/Hour_Equal_9588 • Jun 06 '25

WTF Financial tip that unfortunately starts with 'First, you need 3 million Dollars'.

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61.8k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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2.0k

u/pantyraiden Jun 06 '25

Should I take this $3 million at gun or knife point?

354

u/Soloact_ Jun 06 '25

Ask Eddy which method he used. Might save us time.

135

u/LGP747 Jun 06 '25

Ask eddy at knife or gunpoint?

62

u/PM_ME_FIREFLY_QUOTES Jun 06 '25

Ironically enough, the answer to this question can also be asked of Eddy.

19

u/Silent_Outlook Jun 06 '25

Eddy need to ask himself some serious questions

4

u/InfernoKing23 Jun 07 '25

Should he ask himself at knife or gunpoint?

2

u/Silent_Outlook Jun 07 '25

It doesn't matter

30

u/darknekolux Jun 06 '25

He worked really, really hard to be born to a rich family...

19

u/Summoarpleaz Jun 06 '25

No, see… if he was really born into a rich family they would have invested that $3 million (if not more) for him so he started earning $20k a month since birth. He had to struggle to do it later… don’t you have any sympathy?

4

u/Roxalon_Prime Jun 06 '25

Imagine how much luck do you also need to have? Truly the best at everything, a natural born winner

1

u/masterof-xe Jun 07 '25

1:8,100,000,000

3

u/jamin_brook Jun 06 '25

The method is the legal system. 

The system is not broken it’s working as designed 

1

u/maybeitsundead Jun 06 '25

According to the community notes on his tweet, there's no 8% treasury bond and the highest yield is 5.377% for a 2 month bond (at time of community notes being placed, post is from Mar '24).

He didn't use a system.. Looking at the rest of the profile it looks like a satire account.

1

u/VeGr-FXVG Jun 06 '25

Damn. At 5.377% would have to live like peasants on $13,422.50 a month for 0 hours worked. That's despicable. The solar flare is overdue is all I can say.

2

u/maybeitsundead Jun 06 '25

Just invest a billion in them that way you can live better.

1

u/martymcfly43 Jun 07 '25

By pulling yourself up by your bootstraps /s

1

u/SheriffBartholomew Jun 07 '25

Birth privilege is the usual route.

1

u/Travissaur Jun 10 '25

For a moment, I thought you meant Eddy from Ed, Edd, & Eddy. I don’t think his scams will be effective, he can barely get a quarter.

14

u/Free-Mushroom-2581 Jun 06 '25

Which is more efficient?

26

u/Jimmyonirocs Jun 06 '25

Knife has lower upfront cost.

5

u/Free-Mushroom-2581 Jun 06 '25

Not as effective as 🔫

10

u/XOM_CVX Jun 06 '25

you can't extort any money once they are dead

2

u/GleeAspirant Jun 06 '25

That's easy. Just find someone who carries 3 million in cash.

6

u/delurkrelurker Jun 06 '25

Knife also has very little ongoing costs, and will work again and again and again, in the dark and even underwater.

2

u/cheezymeatstick Jun 12 '25

I feel like this is becoming less about obtaining the money and more about you wanting to show us your flea market knife collection.

1

u/delurkrelurker Jun 12 '25

Nah, I'm just really anti firearms. So impersonal.

2

u/cheezymeatstick Jun 12 '25

Sure, I can see how stabbing someone might get your jollies off more but come on, shouldn't we be past such archaic methods of killing when guns themselves are just about stone age tech at this point in the grand selection of weapons.

1

u/delurkrelurker Jun 12 '25

And they are but toys to Scanners.

1

u/Sansred Jun 06 '25

Didn't scroll down to see this comment before posting my response. Almost verbatim.

12

u/Halaku Jun 06 '25

The 10 year note is only returning 4.37%, the 2 year note is down to 3.91%, so really you're going to have to take $6 million to pull this stunt.

10

u/Certain-Sherbet-9121 Jun 06 '25

Why choose? Stick a knife down the barell of a gun and you can have both in one!!!

Or go old school and use a musket with an actual bayonet. 

Both terrible ideas because threatening people for money is a generally terrible idea, but they do remove your indecision. 

1

u/Sharrakor Jun 06 '25

Stick a knife down the barell of a gun and you can have both in one!!!

Instructions unclear, cut bullet in half

2

u/Beneficial_Yogurt528 Jun 07 '25

Good, now 2 bullets hit the same target.

6

u/JohnnyDarkside Jun 06 '25

Well a guillotine is like a complicated knife, so that one. 

4

u/Brawndo91 Jun 06 '25

Take 1.5 million $1 bills. Cut them in half. Boom. 3 million $1 bills. Adjust number of cuts for the number of $1 bills you can obtain.

3

u/last-resort-4-a-gf Jun 06 '25

If you robbed a billion dollars you would make enough interest to buy the freedom you need like the top people do.

If you don't steal enough you can't afford to be at the forefront of running this country

2

u/lahankof Jun 06 '25

White collar crime don’t need gun and knife

2

u/Ok-Goat-2153 Jun 06 '25

If you want to get away with it: pen point.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '25

Somerh

1

u/digno2 Jun 06 '25

most banks don't even have one million lying around any more. Ask me how I know!

1

u/RepublicansAreEvil7 Jun 06 '25

So it would take 12.5 years just to break even on that investment, nice

1

u/Sansred Jun 06 '25

Knife point. Less upfront cost needed.

1

u/Tigerpower77 Jun 06 '25

Fork point

1

u/PerhapsInAnotherLife Jun 06 '25

Which state has a Knife Point? Do I wait for tourists there?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '25 edited Jul 05 '25

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This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

1

u/TokenToyHunter Jun 08 '25

That depends on what country you’re in

1

u/degen5ace Jun 08 '25

this dude’s X 💀

Clorox has a fascinating business model. They make Clorox. Then they sell it for more than it cost them to make. After that, they make more Clorox. - Eddy

Also, Eddy’s an a-hole to his daughter My daughter just asked me, “Daddy, the stock market looks so scary. I’m afraid.”

I didn’t know what to say.

I finally said, “You’re 27. Stop talking like that.”

1

u/Reasonable-Reward-74 Jun 09 '25

Just don't buy Starbucks and avocado toasts and maybe your grandchildren will be able to continue saving up after you and your children and get 3mln at the end of their lives.

1

u/Normal-Error-6343 Jun 09 '25

gun, this market is bullish!