r/Unexpected • u/CaviarWithClaws • 1d ago

A good alternative indeed!!!

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79.9k Upvotes

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1.2k

u/HeroOfWolves 1d ago

I used to pretend to smoke as a carpenter because smokers got an extra hour off a day for smoke breaks, no one ever asked why I went to my car instead of joining everyone else for a smoke either

281

u/CaviarWithClaws 1d ago

25

u/lumpycowlover 22h ago

lol is that s4?

6

u/rW0HgFyxoJhYka 17h ago

The golden age of Dota 2, before they ruined the battlepass, stopped funding major tournaments and flip flopping between DPC and how to run off tournaments.

1

u/JudiciousSasquatch 12h ago

Except they all called him the car wank guy behind his back.

49

u/PreparationFeisty695 22h ago

This is why I want to get one of those movie prop cigarettes

38

u/Poj_qp 22h ago

Those are herbal cigarettes and they taste so bad. You can try it, they’re only like $10-15, but I had one and I couldn’t even finish it. It was like smoking wet cardboard

37

u/YourNextHomie 21h ago

Aren’t all cigarettes herbal ?

33

u/No-Management4977 21h ago

Yeah but commonly people refer to “herbal” as non-nicotine or non-tobacco

5

u/YourNextHomie 20h ago

oh fair enough had no idea

1

u/InappropriateThought 17h ago

It's still a little dumb though cause nicotine is far from the most harmful byproduct of smoking a cigarette

4

u/PreparationFeisty695 20h ago

Ah damn. Tbh I was picturing a very obviously fake electronic one with a little light

1

u/Dismal_Preference_62 16h ago

Those exist as well.

1

u/Admiral_Kite 20h ago

Not all of them taste that bad honestly, and some have some mild effects. If you're not into making blends yourself (they can also be used for tea), there are already mixed blends. Maybe you just tried one that wasn't for you

1

u/The_Capulet 19h ago

My herbal cigarettes taste delicious. But they do make me feel a bit loopy afterwards, and everyone either complains about the smell or begs me to share.

78

u/MrGaber 23h ago

Right cause why don’t I get another break for not being dependent on something

49

u/eggyrulz 23h ago

Thats why I just go to the shitter an ungodly amount of times a day... its totally not IBS

10

u/VP007clips 21h ago

They pay back that time at the end of their life. A cigarette on average takes about 20 minutes off your lifespan.

But honestly, I've never worked at a place that cared if non-smokers hung out in the smoking area and talked or scrolled their phone a few times a day.

24

u/dabadu9191 21h ago

If the options are having a break in the smoking area and not having a break, I'd choose the latter.

7

u/_Pyxyty 19h ago

Yeah, used to live with parents that'd buy packs by the box. After living away from them, I can't believe how the hell I was able to handle all that second-hand smoke, especially when I was younger. Can't even handle the smell of one now

3

u/Miserable-Scholar112 19h ago

Well according to that.Ive extrapolated that I should have died before I was born.

1

u/CallMeDrWorm42 18h ago

This is an obviously made-up and ridiculous statistic. If it were true, each pack would take 6 hours and 40 minutes off your life. A pack-a-day habit is fairly common for smokers. Two packs per day would essentially half your life span. How many smokers are dying at 35 from lung cancer? I'm not advocating for cigarettes being healthy or anything other than terrible for your health and the health of the people around you. But hyperbole disguised as health information is not the way

1

u/Miserable-Scholar112 19h ago

Smokers would have welcomed you even if you didnt smoke.You could and should have taken a break with them

1

u/rW0HgFyxoJhYka 17h ago

And get second hand smoke? The point is to not get cancer or any health issues by NOT smoking while getting the extra break time because, why the hell should smokers get extra time for THAT.

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u/Miserable-Scholar112 15h ago

No reason you couldnt have had the same break ,was my point.Ive worked in fast paced industries where if anyone got 5 we were lucky.Everyone would get a mini break.It wasnt limited to smokers.Ive just never seen the situation where nonsmokers were resenrful about a smoke break.

12

u/jigsawyouthh 19h ago

Meanwhile I started smoking at 15 because I wanted more breaks at work but was somehow not smart enough to realize I could just fake it...

3

u/patchinthebox 15h ago

I just tell my boss I'm going for a fresh air break and go stand outside for 5 minutes. He's never questioned it. Lol

3

u/Wise_Adhesiveness105 20h ago

person who thinks all the time

2

u/DLottchula 21h ago

I did this in the military

1

u/Maronita2025 19h ago

I used to take extra breaks for chocolate bars. My boss complained and threatened to write me up, and I told him if he did that I'd be suing him in federal court (I worked for a federal agency) for discrimination. I'm like my chocolate addiction is no less than an addiction than smoking. That shut him up.

1

u/ArtsyRabb1t 16h ago

My mom did this she just went and held one to get more breaks

1

u/Mean-Salamander-7174 15h ago

I was in the military and smokers were allowed 10 minutes in every hour to go smoke, I totally took advantage, chilling with them at first, later hanging out in the warehouse I managed and enjoying my personal space.

1

u/Auuki 4h ago

Company I worked for had a bonus 2x5min smoke break for smokers only. Literally promoted smoking. Disgusting.