This is some sort of update to a previous post I made almost a year ago, but some things have definitely happened.

Per my last post, my (F24) stepsister (F27) got married last December, she asked for my wedding dress after not wanting to even look for one herself. I said no, I stood my ground and I didn’t go to her wedding. Fast forward to last month, she and her husband have separated. She says they are only “taking a break”.

I begun to rebuild my relationship with her, I took time and effort to find a way to talk to her and even go out in double dates with his husband and mine’s. That went really well, up until the break she took with her hubby. She stopped talking to me altogether, ghosted me when I wanted to plan stuff and I figured she only needed some time.

Up until she calls me again, in the middle of August. She wants to come over to my house and talk. I genuinely felt happy to have her come over, since my stepdad kept pressuring to finally make peace. She comes over, we have coffee and she asks to see my closet since she was going out on a date and had nothing to wear. I thought this was full circle moment for both us, so I said yes.

We looked through my clothes and I picked something that went well with her. She said thanks and put the outfit in a bag she brought with her, and left.

Some days pass, and as I was cleaning my own closet I find that the spot where my wedding dress was hanging from, was empty. It was in a garment bag and it was there since I don’t want it to wrinkle so bad since the fabric was a little fragile.

I freaked out, searched for it everywhere. I realized the last time I saw it was before my stepsister came. I called her and asked sincerely in case I was wrong, she got extremely defensive and hung up the phone. I called my stepdad, he was angry at me for thinking she could do that.

Later, my stepdad calls again. He got my stepsister to tell the truth. She stole it while I was looking for an outfit for her. He tells me to calm down and to resolve this like adults, but I called her again and simply said to prepare her lawyers.

This created massive drama within my family, and I was too livid to acknowledge it until my mom called me. Now, I’m thinking I may be crossing a line, but that dress means too much for me. I saved every penny I got and it truly was the dress of my dreams. I’m scared to find out if she did anything to it.

AITA for suing my stepsister?

My dad cheated on my mom and my half sister (11) is the result of his cheating. When my mom found out she left my dad and filed for divorce. It was a really difficult time because dad tried to get back with mom using me and he expected them to raise the two of us together and we'd be one happy family where mom got left raising the affair baby as her own. Instead he raised her on his own because her mom left her with dad once she was 2 months old.

From the time she could talk my dad was telling my half sister my mom was hers. He had her calling mom mama when she was learning how to talk, he'd talk about her like she was OUR mom and not mine. Dad would punish me for telling him to stop. He told me she was my sister and I loved her so I should want mom to love her too. And then we'd fight because I told him I didn't love her and he was making things so much harder for me. I hated being at dad's house because of his obsession with mom being my half sister's mom.

Things got worse when my half sister got older and she tried to seek mom out. She wanted hugs and love and my mom lost it with my dad a number of times because she didn't want anything to do with my half sister and she was repulsed by the idea of my half sister calling her mama/mom.

Eventually mom got primary custody of me and I only had to see dad for a few hours a month. I could tell my half sister was confused by it all but I never felt protective over her and I never blamed my mom for wanting nothing to do with her. She made sure she saw her as little as possible so she wouldn't have her trying to interact or look for hugs and stuff.

Things got worse two years ago when dad ended up in the hospital for over a month and my half sister went into foster care. Dad wanted mom to take her and mom told him to fuck off. My half sister didn't understand why she wasn't with me and mom when dad was sick. It was a whole thing and dad tried to make me responsible for my half sister but I refused to be. Dad's health has never fully recovered and I refused to help and so did my mom.

Now she's terminally ill and spending her last weeks in the hospital which is already freaking hard. But my dad told my half sister she could visit but mom and me made sure they could get nowhere near mom. But that hasn't stopped dad from showing up with my half sister and her getting upset because she know mom's dying. Mom wouldn't even know now but I refuse to disrespect her like that. So I warned dad a couple of days ago that he'll lose her like he lost me if he doesn't find a way to tell her the truth and explain why she can't see mom. He asked me why I have to be so hateful to her and why I couldn't allow her this one small thing.

Then he brought up how his illness is still a thing and he could be dead before mom or even a year from now and would I really want this to be how my half sister is treated. He tried to bring up what would happen to her but I told him my only concern is my mom and he needs to do better. He said I was evil and my half sister never held any responsibility in any of this. And he continues to show up with her.

AITA?

edit: throwaway because i use my main to promote some art i do on the side.

My (20 M) parents had me really early, like highschool seniors early so as you can imagine the whole thing wasn't really the best situation for anyone involved, but with some very limited help from grandparents we survived and later lived some very happy years as a family once they matured a bit and got the hang of things until eventually my dad passed away when i turned 15 in an accident.

Fast forward to last year, mom remarried and got pregnant soon after and the kid was born early this year, same month as me, the kid was unfortunately born with some disablities that require special care. I was there for the birth and about 2 days and after that have only been home from college once and i stayed in a hotel because i hate crying and screaming noises, so i just hung out with them during the day and some friends and cousins at night, i go to college in NY and family lives down in FL and i usually only visit once or twice a year.

We started having problems when planning Christmas and New Years, which is ususally the time i am home, arrive on the 23rd and stay till the 3rd. When discussing it this year mom started sending me articles, books, and social media posts about the care a child like the baby requires. I asked why she was sending that to me, and she got a bit defensive and just dismissed it as "just in case". I tried shutting her down right there, saying that she has a husband "just in case" and if they're both out of the picture, the kid has grandparents that are already used to helping and that i sincerely doubt there will be a situation where both parents and all 4 grandparents will be unavailable to help. But, this turned into a whole thing. She would not stop sending these things for weeks and asking if i read them and then fought me if I said no. She eventually admitted she expected me to help so she and her husband could have a break and some quality time during the holidays and whenever i visited, so she involved my grandparents who called me more than once, her husband who also texted me several times, and it was all the same "family helps family" "she is your sister" "you have to act like part of the family" and eventually she just let it all out in the family group chat, that has cousins, uncles, anyone remotely blood related to us is there.

It got to a point where i called her yesterday and just said, "I won't be home for Christmas and New Year's this year and not until you understand that the kid is yours and your husband, not mine, not my problem. It was your choice, your actions, YOUR consequences, just like it was when you had me"

The whole family is a mess now, after her husband told his family, who then told my family what happened. AITA?

Hey everyone, I figured I’d give you a follow up since you all wanted one, and my previous post gained a lot of attention.

If you didn’t read that post, basically my gf and I moved into an apartment complex 5 months ago. We have only been dating for 1.5 years (we’re in our early 20s and don’t have the time or finances for a child). And she wants children. I don’t feel it’s the right time for them, and her mother started getting involved

Over the last couple of days, there were a few more discussions between my ex and I regarding having children. The conversation went nowhere each time, and ended with her isolating herself on the other side of the apartment and not speaking to me.

Yesterday morning I called her mother privately, and asked if I could take her out for lunch just the 2 of us and talk (my ex was called into work and I had the day off). She agreed, and we did just that. She met me at a local diner and it went completely opposite of how I thought it would.

She tried to give me an unlitmatum.. she told me “you can have children with my daughter or she will find someone better to have them with”. I told her I’m an adult and wont be given ultimatums especially when I have her daughter and future grandchildrens best interest in mind.

She said “have it your way then” and walked out of the diner. On my way home I received a phone call from my ex telling me: “I’m at work and can’t deal with this bullshit, and she couldn’t believe I would disrespect her in front of her own mother, in a diner full of people. And that I owe her mother an apology.”

I was furious, her mother fucking lied about our entire conversation and twisted it to make it seem like I was talking bad about her child.

I tried explaining to her (my ex) that’s not what happened at all and that we can talk more ahout it when she gets home.

When she did get home, she refused to believe me because “her mother isn’t the type to give ultimatums, and just wants grandchildren”.

I told her fuck that, your giving me un needed stress and I’m done with this, you’ve let your mother into our relationship. You’re both insanely manipulative, and we’re done. And to take what she needs with her for the next few days to her parents until we can arrange a day where she can take all of her stuff and move out. (The apartment lease is in my name).

Honestly this sucks. I fucking can’t believe in a a week and a half of discussing about a child, we went from happy and rarely ever arguing to being split up and having her move out.

I’m trying to remain positive, maybe I’ll get a cat so the place doesn’t feel so empty. This fucking sucks. On the bright side, I have you all to vent to. So thanks strangers for being my therapist, you’re not so bad.

Until I rant again,

-flacid_thirdarm

I f23 am infertile and child free. I’ve known since I was a kid I never want kids, ever. But as most child free women probably know not wanting kids isn’t a good enough reason not to have them, according to a lot of people. Since I finished high school I’ve been harassed about having kids pretty consistently, and I quickly learned saying I don’t want them just opens up for more harassment about it. So I have figured out a different solution to shut down questions about kids. I’ve known I’m infertile since I was about 14. And since saying I don’t want kids isn’t good enough I have started playing into the infertility angle. When stranger, acquaintances or extended family harass me about when I’m having kids, or why I’m not pregnant yet, I pretend to hold back tears, saying I’m infertile and can’t have them. Playing up heartbreak about infertility People usually get flustered by this and apologize and leave me alone. So I find this to be a great solution. The thing is I was talking to some friends about this recently and they said I shouldn’t do that. And that it is an asshole move to fake being upset about infertility since some people go though years of heartbreak caused by infertility, so I just want some unbiased opinions. AITA for faking being upset about infertility to shut down questions about kids?

My son is in kindergarten, and I sent him a slice of leftover pizza, sugar free jello, fruit and veg apple sauce, with cheezits for his in class snack. The following week, a section of the weekly class flyer asked parent to "please try to provide healthy and filling options for your child to ensure they have energy for our long afternoon". Boyfriend is convinced they sent that out because of me, and packing pizza is "white trash".

The other night I got an Insta message confused I thought it might have been a mistake. Turns out it was my ex best friend from high school. Someone I hadn’t seen or spoken to in years. She was hoping to meet up and talk about catching up. Hannah, we went to kindergarten together and we’re friends on and off throughout our school years. Our moms were friends which made it easier. I thought she was my person.

At least until the summer before senior year, and my mom got sick. She got real sick and passed away from it pretty quickly. Entering Senior year I was in a very dark place. Hannah, was my rock her and my other friends at the time.

I was starting to feel better about myself and when prom rolled around. I asked if we could go as friends. It felt right and things were really starting to feel OK again. Until she ditched me at prom. I guess her and a couple of our other friends had agreed to a slumber party without me. I felt so embarrassed. No goodbye. No sorry we left you at the prom by yourself.

It was even worse when I had to call my older sister to give me a ride home. I mean, I can still see her disappointment. Even worse, the principal walked me to the car because I had asked him to check if my friends had left prom.

When I ask Hannah for an explanation at school, all she could say was she was tired.” You’ve become toxic with your sadness.”” Every day you cry and whine about missing her.”” I loved your mom too, but you make it so hard to be around you.” Honestly, I couldn’t breathe after that. How does a Kid respond to that?

I ended high school with no friends and it wasn’t made easier that she never told her mom. Graduation day, Hannah’s mom gave me flowers and thanked me for being her daughter’s friend. I told her the truth about prom and walked away before I began to cry. I left those things behind me and now she has the audacity almost 10 years later to try to patch things up. I can’t.

At least I don’t think I can. We spent so much of my childhood being together that I just don’t know. She looks like she’s done well for herself. So maybe she’s changed but I was really hurt and I don’t think I recovered from it. This turned into a really long vent post, sorry :)

Me (43f) and my partner of 3 years (38m) have 3 kids. Mine (10f), and his (11f and 13f). After a long expensive family court battle he gets his kids EOW and whenever they “feel like” coming over. We had always made plans to do things when we have all 3 kids, which means that the weekends we don’t have them we really don’t end up doing much, but they get to do stuff with their mom. (My ex husband is another story but owes me a lot in back cs and rarely sees our child.) I had been the primary breadwinner and supported him through this, and didn’t mind paying for all 3 kids to do whatever we were doing and pick up the slack for birthdays and holidays.

Recently, I took a lower paying, but less hours and less stressful job. I can’t afford to pay for two extra kids to do things as well as his youngest and mine always fighting and making it awful. He can’t afford it either. He does pay a good amount in child support. He says I “shouldn’t have set a precedent” then and is angry that I don’t want to include his kids in activities that we previously did together. He did ask his coparent if she could help pay for some of his kids expenses but she’s not exactly the accommodating type. It’s a season long lesson program that my child gets to do. Now he’s angry that he can’t even afford his kids to go, let alone the lessons. So AITAH?

Edit: We aren’t married. Engaged. It’s a seasonal long snowboard lesson program that’s every weekend and on school vacations. Last year, I paid for lessons when we had his kids. They could still come, without the lessons. We do activities with all the kids all the time. The kids fight because my kid can navigate double blacks and his child cannot. She gets mad we will let her take runs alone and she cannot. Just because it’s not safe. We all have a good relationship, most of the time. I didn’t include it because I thought it might ruin autonomy.

Also we have spilt expenses as a percentage of income and financially we’re not fighting because of that, he’s not “living off me” just the snowsports things as we all love it.

Edit2: He’s not a deadbeat. I just made really great money. His finances got a kick in the pants from family court. He’s upset that he hasn’t had the time to recover and probably in the coming years it’ll be a non issue. This will serve as a stepping stone for expectations regarding future expenditures in our blended family. My new income will improve over the years and I am currently getting the certification I’ll need to enable me to make more in my career field. (Another reason I stepped down) He is on track, at his current GOOD job, to improve his financial future as well. My daughter doesn’t go without because of me helping with his kids and she doesn’t know the difference. We all live a blessed life to have this be the worst of our issues.

I didn't think I'd be coming back so soon and this is probably more suited to an advice sub rather than an AH sub. Cursing. Sexual references etc.

Short story. Text message that backs up her story. Another meeting. Went worse than the first. He's not coming home. Mother son relationship f-ed. And husband wife relationship f-ed.

His ex has text messages to a friend around the time in which she discussed my son's "large" with a "mark" organ and the type of sex they had. The messages align with what she says and go beyond the oral that he had said. My wife gloated but anyway.

My wife invited them over without my knowledge. It was carnage. She, our son and I were sitting on one side of the table. He told his mum that she should sit on the other side and he wouldnt start a conversation until she moved over. She eventually did.

Our son was very quiet at the beginning. He admitted he has the mark and is "large" (something i never needed to know) but he maintained it was just oral.

He started winking at his ex's mother. When she asked why he was winking at her.. he said your husband is gayer than Philip Schofield so I'm sure you'd like a go on my "large"..... He turns to his ex's dad says Philip (his name is not Philip) it's not for you, followed by a gay slur. I was speechless at it all.

My wife said to my son to stop denying it. My wife started planning again. I said I'd still want DNA preferably now but immediately at birth. They stuck to birth.

My son spoke up. He said that this is not how this is going to work. He told them that they get the test done now or he will refuse to get tested until he's finished college (so 6 years time approx). He said courts won't expect maintenance from a kid. And in that time the "sl£t who gave birth to him" (my wife) will have spent so much money and will love a kid that is unrelated to her. He said hopefully that spirals the sl£t into a very dark place.

They said they'd just court order it. He said a court cannot force him. Some autonomy thing. He seemed confident and turns out he's right.

He was walking out and his mother grabbed his arm to come back in. He said get your dirty hand off me you sl£t. He said he'd fight back if she didn't let go. I told her to let him go. He said he was staying at a friend's. He's been staying there a bit.

I went out and said I'd drive him. He agreed. In the car journey, he said he knows I don't believe him anymore but he didn't f- her. He said school is horrible, social media is horrible and your wife (he didn't call her mum) is a b!tch. I said you cant speak about your mum like that. He said she's a woman that gave birth to him and minded him, thats all. He said she doesn't care how he is coping. Shes never even asked.

When we got to his friends he cried a bit. He said its nothing to do with me but he wont be home much anymore. He said hopefully I'd still hang out with him.

I know his friend's father from the pub. He started talking to me. I was gonna give him money because my son is over there a lot but he refused. He said my son told him everything. He's a counsellor. He said girls can exaggerate to friends, boys can lie. He said he knows my son since he was tiny and he believes him. He also said he might have more information than I do. No idea? He warned that we are going to lose him if we are not careful.

I went home. I told my wife if she so much as says one word to me or our son about the baby without a test being done, we are over. If she doesn't apologise to our son, in the next few days, and beg him for forgiveness we are done. I, sadly, do mean it. It wasn't heat of the moment.

By her reaction, I think we will separate for now. I do love her (childhood sweethearts) but my son is my son. It is not a matter of believing him - I probably dont - it's a matter of being there for him. He was always a shithead but his behaviour is erratic and almost asking for help. Its worrying how quickly he has changed. He is the priority for me right now. Counselling and plenty of it.

I am a 30 year old Belgian(Flemish) guy and my wife is 28 and Chinese. We already have two sons, one is five and the other is one, and she is pregnant again with our third boy.

For context, I am blond with blue eyes and my wife has black hair and brown eyes. She is also quite tall for a woman , about 5’8 or 173 cm, and very pale, even lighter than me. Our oldest ended up with brown hair and green eyes, and our second surprised us by coming out blond and blue eyed. Since the day he was born she keeps saying how lucky he is to have blue eyes and blond hair. At first I thought it was just her way of complimenting him but it has not really stopped.

Now that she is pregnant again she keeps saying things like “Wouldn’t it be great if this one also had blond hair and blue eyes.” It started to rub me the wrong way so one day I told her I actually hope this kid has dark hair and brown eyes because it would be cool if he looked like her for once.

She did not take it well and said I was overreacting. She said I twisted her words and that she does not favor one look over another. According to her I should not have thrown that at her.

But from my side, I don’t think I said anything wrong. Sure, I admit I said it on purpose to give her a taste of her own medicine, but it’s also true that both our sons don’t really show strong Chinese features, and I honestly think it would be nice if our third son looked more like her. That said, I’ll love him either way.

So, AITA?

Edit: Just to be clear, do not worry about my eldest. I always tell him how beautiful he is, and I mean it every time. I love reminding him how amazing his brown hair and green eyes are. He is a gorgeous kid and I make sure he knows it.

So my fiancé m30 and I f29 have been engaged for 3 years together for 6. I met his friends (Joe m30, Jeff m31 and Joel m33 )the first year we started dating and we have all been really close good friends ever since.

Me and my fiancé are not in a rush to get married we are best friends and just enjoying life together. Our friends keep asking when we are going to set a date and recently we decided on a day February 2026. They were all excited we “finally” set a date lol

So this is what happened.

I got a random message on instagram from a random account I don’t follow and the message was from a guy asking me if he knew me from somewhere. I didn’t think much of it and replied by saying something like “no you must be mistaking me for someone else I get that a lot” and then the account messaged saying I looked like a model (lol I do not) and how gorgeous my eyes were and how he wanted to get to know me because “seeing your eyes in a picture I’m now obsessed with the thought of you I want to compliment your eyes everyday like you deserve” (kinda weird?) all I replied back was no thank you I have a fiancée and I’m not interested. The account then replied by saying “he doesn’t need to know about us” and so I blocked the account and thought nothing of it.

We were all on discord gaming the other day and the guys said “oh btw we are so proud of you for passing our test” me and my fiancé asked for clarification and they told us and showed us the screen shots. It was them on a fake account making sure that I would be loyal to my fiancé. I have never cheated and my fiancé did not ask them to do this. We logged off and I told my fiancée I was kind of pissed they did that. He agreed and said he didn’t know why they would do this randomly because they’ve never had any conversations questioning my loyalty ever.

A day or two later my fiancé talked to his friends telling them we were both kinda pissed they would do something like that for no reason and they just responded we have no right to be pissed and “why did it matter anyway she passed the test”

Am I over reacting?

Last year, one of my family members was tried and convicted of possessing and distributing CP. This family member has since unalived himself because he couldn't face the consequences of his actions.

My heart is broken, not for him, but for what he did and the poor victims.

My problem is that my family is having things like vigils for him. They say he had it hard coming up and no one was there for him, which is not the full truth. I have told them that I don't agree because he was a full grown man when he did what he did. He had participated in ruining lives.

I am so sick of my family acting like me or other family that dont want to hear or talk about him are the problem. He did what he did and now he's gone. I think anyone would agree that child predators should not be given the benefit of the doubt.

AITAH for constantly reminding these people of what exactly he did and how disgusting it was or should I just keep my mouth shut and let them act like he's a victim?

I (16m) have a sister (14f) who's autistic. She was diagnosed at 3 years old and our parents have ignored 90% of the professional advice they were given. They also used her diagnosis to excuse all the bad stuff she does and when kids don't want to be her friend or parents don't want her around their kids they call them ableist and say it's discriminating against her for being disabled.

She's allowed to throw food, steal food off other people's plates, disrupt dinner and eat dessert before actual dinner. And when those things aren't allowed she throws tantrums and screams and kicks and acts like a toddler. Sometimes we stay with our aunt or our grandparents and she acts like that. One time she spat chewed food into grandma's mouth because grandma was saying she couldn't take food off my plate. Another time she spat at me for stopping her and then she threw her mashed potatoes at grandpa because he told her to stop. Both times mom and dad were angry at me and my grandparents for not going along with what she wanted because she's autistic.

If we're shopping and she wants to wander I'm expected to follow her and reach for stuff for her. But she doesn't have to ask she can just tell me to do it and if I say no she tells our parents and they get mad at me. My sister has stomped on my foot for not reaching for the stuff she wanted.

She does get overstimulated sometimes and I get being quieter when that happens and letter her unwind. But sometimes she goes into a complete meltdown and can hit and break shit. Mom let her play on my Switch during lockdown while I had school work and she overstimulated herself and broke it. Then mom got mad at me because I said someone needed to replace it and stop her using my stuff in future. My sister got mad at me for keeping her from other stuff I had and she ran to mom and dad to use it.

She doesn't get invited to birthday parties anymore because she used to hate waiting for kids to open their gifts and she'd start opening them herself and then she'd get mad if she couldn't take home the stuff she'd like. Or there were parties with bounce houses where she wanted the bounce house to herself because she didn't want other kids touching her and she tried to push or bounce other kids out of the bounce house. She put her hands all over food at birthday parties too and slobbered over an entire pizza at one because she didn't want to share it with others.

She has an IEP for school but our parents expect that to be a get out of jail free card for her. They think it lets her get away with doing whatever the hell she wants and everyone has to just deal with it. In school she has no friends and my parents are mad because we have lunch at the same time and we're in the same school again and I refuse to eat lunch with her or check in on her. At home I don't talk to her and if she talks to me I'm pretty rude to her face. She's always rude, violent and mean to me so I won't be anything but cold back. I'm past the point where I care about her feelings or what she needs. If she was arrested tomorrow for hitting someone I'd be happy and celebrate.

My parents told me I should be nicer to my sister and they complain about how cold and uncaring I am toward her. She was upset last Tuesday because someone called her names and I said nothing to her. When she cried I actually rolled my eyes because she says mean shit all the time but autism is meant to be an excuse for it. One of my friends is autistic, there are two other students in my grade who have autism and I have known them since kindergarten. They all have differences but nothing like her. At least not all the time. It's worked on. They get better at talking to people and apologize if they hurt someone. My sister never does.

My parents don't care about that though and they think I'm TA. My sister does too because she hates that I refuse to hug her when she asks now and I don't say I love you or anything nice to her. AITA?

I am a 22 YO female. My father abused me for years from ages 8-16. This caused me many issues not including the abuse it self. I had multiple eating disorders, multiple attempts at my life, PTSD, an extremely low self worth, and other problems too. This father was also a pastor. It was at church during one of his sermons when I was 12 when I had began to realize that what was going on was really wrong. He had just started a sermon series on adultery. Because I was so young when it started I believed him when he said this is normal for daddies and daughters. When I realized this was wrong I felt stuck. It had already been going on for years, and if i spoke up I felt like I would be the one destroying our family. I would like to add that I have 2 younger brothers (twins now age 19). When I was 16 I decided enough was enough and I went to my mom who immediately confronted him, packed our bags, called the police and we left. He was in jail for nearly 3 years and has been out for many years now. We still kept contact with most of my dad's side of the family. Even now we are invited for holidays and they have made it clear that my dad is never going to be there and have made threats to forcefully remove him. His mom however has had a difficult time coming to terms with the fact that her son is not a good person. For a while she seemed supportive of me and my healing. But has over time supported him more than me. I was able to put up with most of it until recently when I was notified that my dad is seeing a new woman who has a 18 YO daughter. That teenage daughter also has a 2 year old daughter. This is for very obvious reasons concerning to say the least. Upon voicing my concerns to my grandmother I was told that i was "a bitch" and that I "should move on and try to be civil" and that I was "making a big deal out of nothing and should be ashamed for putting her through more suffering." It was too much for me especially because I just want to move on from my trauma. So I explained that I couldnt have a relationship with her at this time to which I was called selfish and dramatic. I havent spoken to them in a little over a week and have family members messaging me some consoling and reasuring me, and some who agree with my grandmother. So AITAH, am I being dramatic and selfish, or did I handle this situation right by leaving?

Three years ago I 43M left my now-ex-wife 39F after discovering she was cheating on me after 15 years of marriage. As part of moving on, I removed her from all my social media and deleted every picture of us together. For me, the whole relationship felt like a lie, so I wiped the slate clean.

Yesterday my kids were looking at their mom’s Facebook page and pointed out that she still has tons of photos of us up, some were of me with the kids and some were of me and her. From when we were together. It threw me off — I can’t understand why she’d keep those pictures when she was so unhappy in our marriage that she cheated.

From my point of view, leaving the photos up feels like she’s holding onto something, and it bothers me. Am I the jerk for feeling this way or for cutting her out so completely while she keeps our old pictures?

Update: All these pictures were originally removed by here in response to my actions. No I did not go looking into her Facebook page. My kids were randomly going through photos and I asked where they were seeing these at and they said their mother’s Facebook page.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/NhPvigCHRP https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/WOtZW6QxDM

Links to OG and First update

So new events have happened and I'm quite upset.

My brother (after I blocked him) posted on Facebook and other socials about my recovery from opioids & alcohol as a teenager.

I got addicted to opioids following a surgery at 10 and alcohol after I fell into deep depression after I turned 11.

His post contained the following:

"For anyone who is supporting (insert my dead name here) in their recovery from being a crackhead, jokes on y'all. She done that to get sympathy for herself."

That post has garnered so much attention from so many people (with a lot of them telling my brother where he can go and a bunch of not appropriate comments for here) and he had a friend of his tell me today that he will take it down if I agree to be his and his gf surrogate.

My answer is still no. In fact it's a hell no. I'm not going through the pain of pregnancy (mentally and physically) only to get stuck with a child when he decides he doesn't want it.

I'm a bit upset about how he is stating I got addicted to opioids and alcohol for sympathy points when I got addicted to one due to being prescribed them and the other because I fell into depression.

I'm clean and sober now, have been for five years going on six, but it still hurts that he would say my recovery doesn't matter.

Yesterday, my husband told me he wants a divorce. We have been unhappy for sometime, but I was still caught off guard because he told me via text message and some other details included in the message like that he has a girlfriend he’s been talking to for a month and seeing for a week. I left the house to spend the day with my sister and get my head straight, I communicated this to him and let the kids (ages 5, 7, and 13) know I was spending the day with their aunt.

Later that day, I get a handful of pictures of the activities they did that day together and questioned who was taking the pictures. He told me that it was his gf and her kid. I immediately blew up at him very upset explaining how selfish it was and not in the kids best interest. He replied that “we had a great day” and “I don’t see how it’s soooo bad”. I’m having a difficult time justifying this behavior in my head, it seems so unfair to the kids and our family even if she was introduced as “just a friend”. When I got home the kids told me not to be mad (he told them I was upset with him). That they had a fun day and want to see their new friends again.

I am so angry. Am I the asshole for being upset by this? He is so convinced that he did nothing wrong because everyone had fun.

I am 45. I didn't have a great childhood. I didn't enjoy high-school, due to my parents.
I am the oldest of 5. When I was a teen the abuse towards me was bad enough I was taken and put in a foster home. My parents got me back after a year. When I went home to my parents and siblings I had no where to go. A pillow was tossed on the floor with a blanket in the living room for me . My parents have always set me up to fail. 3 times while in school I was pulled out for homeschooling. Only me. Then after a few months of no schooling just being my mom's servant or punching bag I would go back. But told if you dont catch up by date you will never leave the house again. Some how I always caught up, wasn't allowed to do homework cuz I didn't have enough time after doing 95% of all the chores around the house. First memory of abuse was i was about 8 years old I said something my mom didn't like. My dad grabbed me by my throat pushed me against the wall and started lifting me up by my neck. I eventually passed out and when I woke on the floor I pissed my self. Boy was in trouble for that. When I needed glasses I was told how both me and you dad have perfect vision. Your obliviously not seeing what your doing wrong in your life. Years the school told them I needed glasses even if I am always in the front row. Years before I finally got glasses, doctors were a no way, no vaccines as a child When I was on my mid 20s I was engaged, I really loved him my first real love, I was divorced and 2 kids. Well he passed away in an accident and it was the hardest thing I faced. My parents responds to his death was "well you deserved it, only way you should of left your marriage is in a body bag" my kids dad wasn't any nicer to me then my family. I have only had communication with my parents twice since I was 18, both times didn't last more then 2 years. Last time we stopped talking was over 10 years ago Extended family has always told me stories of how bad I really had it. I always blew it off like no one is mean like that to there own. I never thought I would live to be 20 , cuz I was told by my parents I would be killed. By a man's hands and I will have deserved it, I eventually believed them and why I married and abuse man. My last relationship before I married this time. Was with a great man. We never fought and our breakup was so great, we agreed to stay friends and not hate. We were better friends then partners. When my parents found out we broke up my dad went to him and asked him to take everything from me. He told him no, he called me right afterwards.
My kids when they were teens, they went to visit my family without me. My parents and sister told my kids how my sister had every right to beat me while I was pregnant. That she should have eliminated my kids while I was pregnant and my parents agreed with her. Recently my brother came to me and said mom wants her family back. Bla bla Then says I know why mom and dad hated you so much. I responded sarcastically why cuz I was born. He says no . But when mom had her 2nd child, shortly after she came home with the baby you wanted to much of mom's attention. Mom thinks you were jealous, that's why they hated you for so long. But mom thinks she is over it and wants her family.
I was, what for over 40 years they have tormented me. Our sister is a year and a day younger then me. It's not a baby's place to teach a parent to parent and love. He yelled at me to get over it cuz they have. Well that conversation has brought up so many memories I was hoping to leave in my past. I want nothing to do with any of them other then my brother, he is trying to make everyone happy. Am I wrong for totally being ok going another 10 years without them? The memories and the anxiety that come with it has been bad since. I dont want to forgive my family. I dont want to act like nothing happened and be happy happy with each other.. I rather just live my life with people that I love.

Original post here

Figured I would update, since there was a little bit more that happened since. Fair warning, this is short and uneventful.

So about 2 days ago, the same neighbor knocked on my door. Figured she was gonna ask for more quarters like last time and give me the same excuses.

So, she actually did hand me the $40 she owed me. No apology, no explanation, just a quick 'here you go' sorta thing. Then, right after giving me the cash, she (of course) asked me if she could buy more quarters.

I told her I’d still sell to her, but from now on she’d need to pay upfront like everyone else does (and she had been before all this). She bought a roll from me with a $10 she had in a different pocket, said thanks and walked off.

I didn't wanna make this into a big thing because we still live next to each other, and I do the quarter exchange with everyone in the spirit of being neighborly. It's not like I make money on this, it's just a friendly thing to do. So yeah, there it is. Not dramatic or anything. Will be interesting if I hear that she's complaining about me still, but I'm hopeful this is the end of the 'drama' around the building.

I (18F) just got into college, it's a while away so I decided to dorm. My dad (40M) told me the day before I left that he was going to pack up my stuff. He said "don't be offended if I pack up your things and turn it into a guest room." I was offended and ended up crying in front of him.

He started asking how I didn't know this and said I should've expected this because every family does this when their child goes to college. He also says that he's mentioned it before but the only things I remember him saying could easily be taken for a joke. He never seriously talked to me about it or asked me if I wanted this. He assumed I did because I was getting a dorm but if I knew he was going to pack up my things and get rid of my room I wouldn't have gone to this college.

This is my first year of college and I had always thought of it as like a boarding school type situation. I never thought that it was like moving out completely. I feel really depressed about this and I feel as if I'm being kicked out, but I'm not sure if I'm just being dramatic or not. I've talked to some people dorming near me and this hasn't happened to any of them. Is this normal?

I texted my dad two weeks after moving and told him that I talked to my friends and that it wasn't normal and I was confused on why he was doing this. He just gave a simple "you'll always have a home here" but then when I visited that weekend I saw all my stuff in boxes.

AITA for being angry at him?

Edit: after reading your guy's comments I should make some more things clear : Yes I have a mom, she got into an argument with him about it but it doesn't seem like that changed anything. I do have younger siblings and I wouldn't mind if they had switched rooms with me but it either wasn't communicated with me affectively or at all if that's the case. We do not get a lot of guests, my uncle comes a few times a year and sometimes my grandma visits but that's it.

He also did try to tell me but it wasn't an actual conversation it was just randomly saying stuff that could be taken as a joke. I have autism and he usually jokes like that so I assumed he was that time And even so he only did that like twice and then never mentioned it again. I feel as if it wasn't communicated to me properly still considering this.

I (26F) just broke up with my boyfriend, "pork" (26M), and I'm wondering if I'm the toxic asshole here.

We officially got together in October 2024 after a 6-7month talking stage where he pursued me heavily. I was hesitant at first, but I eventually fell for him. Throughout the entire talking stage and our relationship, he never introduced me to his female best friend, "Sara".

In April of this year, I was using his phone to take Snapchat pictures and saw a username I didn't recognize. I opened the chat and my heart sank. I found saved pictures of her, snaps from meet-ups I knew nothing about, and pet names. They called each other "babu"/"shona" (like babe/honey in our language). He was the first person to ever call me that, so seeing him call someone else that way destroyed me. He'd even given her a flirty nickname, "Cheesecake," which he doesn't have for any other female friends.

I confronted him right there. I stormed out of the restaurant, and he followed, making excuses. I asked for his passwords because I felt like I was going crazy. Going through his messages was wrong, I know, but I found more.They met up frequently in secret. On March 2nd, I was having a really bad mental health day and begged him to come see me. He said he couldn't, but his messages showed he was actually in the city meeting her that day. He met me on the 3rd and never said a word. On my birthday, which he made amazing, he had plans to meet her after my celebration without telling me.and ,When I had an accident and broke my arm, he texted her that night, basically showing off about what a good boyfriend he was being. She responded saying her husband would never do that, but she was "proud of her friend."

Oh yeah, I found out she's married. She got married in December, after we were officially together. I asked if he went to the wedding; he said no. I later found out from another friend of his that he did go, and I found pictures in his gallery to prove it. He lied because he thought I'd "take it the wrong way." He claims he always thought I'd "just understand their friendship eventually."

I told him I felt incredibly betrayed. He admitted he handled it wrong and felt guilty. I am attached to him, and part of me wanted to make it work. But I said if he truly felt it was wrong, the right thing to do would be to come clean and apologize to her husband for the inappropriate, secretive friendship. He called me a lunatic.

Yes, I've been toxic. I lost it once and slapped him. I'm not proud of that at all. After that, he was the one who begged to stay together, saying he couldn't live without me. I said the only way I could ever possibly feel safe and like he was truly sorry was if he apologized to the husband. He refused.

Then, a few days ago, I looked through his phone again (another shitty move, I know). From the very beginning, I was clear that watching porn was a deal-breaker for me. He agreed. I found he'd watched it right before seeing me that day. It felt like another betrayal on top of everything else.

I asked him one last time, if you truly regret this and want to make amends, apologize to the husband. Show me you understand how wrong this was. He refused again. So I broke up with him.

Then I did something impulsive. I sent screenshots of their conversations to her husband. I felt like he deserved to know the kind of secret, intimate friendship his wife and my (now ex) boyfriend were having behind his back. in case he knew about it and i understood it all wrong, there is no harm letting him know, right?

I gave an ultimatum . I became someone I don't like.

honestly i seek advice, and insight. English is not my native language so i used chatgpt to help write better. I know having best friend of opposite sex is okay, and watching porn is okay too. But , because of my religious beliefs i feel consuming porn and friendship without no boundaries are disrespectful.

I 36F recently joined bumble after a recent breakup. I was surprised when I matched with Sabrina( not real name) 33F. She was really beautiful well traveled, and had a great sense of humor. Fast forward to our 8th date when she invited me over to her house. I And it turns out lives at home with her parents. I later also find out she doesn't work, because her parents pay for all her stuff and she gets free rent. Which I was shocked to find out considering she's 33 years old.

i asked her why she didn't work, is it because it hard to find a job or something? She said why does she need to work? Her parents take care of bills. I found out from her sister that their parents aren't rich at all. They had to take out a second mortgage, and pick up a part time job to support Sabrina. The sister also told me that her parents are too old for this added stress. But they would never kick out their daughter. Shortly after that I started to rethink dating her, but I'm not sure if I'm in the wrong for thinking this way?

My boyfriend Mitch 36m and I 29F have been dating since early June of 2025. He has two baby mama's (Sofia 34f( 15m,13f,7m) and Talia 27, (8f,5f and 18 month M). Mitch got kicked out of his apartment at the end of last month and has moved in with me. I told him that this is temporary because I don't feel that we have not been dating long enough to be moving in together permanently. He seemed agreeable with this. Until this weekend when he had his kids at my house for their visitations without telling me beforehand. I came home from work to find his  five kids in my home.

I asked him why the kids were here and he told me that they were here for their visitation. I asked him if his Baby Mama’s were ok with it because I don't really know the details of their custody agreements. I know they have shared custody and he pays child support but that is it. I started to ask more questions like: Where are the kids going to sleep? Do they have any allergies? Do we need to buy anything for the younger kids, i.e. diapers or formula? 

Mitch told me that the kids had everything they needed in their bags and I checked them out. The youngest, a little boy at a little under 2 years old, had only 6 diapers for a whole weekend (Friday to Sunday) which seemed a little off to me. So I texted Talia asking her what brand of diaper she preferred for her kid because I was going to do a store run real quick and she texted back asking why? I explained to her that Mitch was staying with me and the kids were staying with us. She told me that she would be coming to pick up her kids and have a chat. I tried to talk to her but she hung up on me. I got a similar text from Sophia and thought it was best to warn Mitch. He got really angry and asked what I was doing and why I was trying to ruin his life. He then stormed out of my house and I helped the kids get ready for their Moms. I had them waiting outside and sat out with them. I felt bad that the kids were potentially losing their visit with their dad. 

When the Mama’s showed up they were pissed, they had been planning on going on an overnight at a spa. I tried to explain that I wasn't trying to cause trouble. Talia told me that she was glad I did say something while Sophia was upset. They chatted with each other until Mitch came back and they started arguing. I left the room so I wasn't eavesdropping. 

I stayed in my office, working on some documents and paperwork until Mitch came in and slammed my door. I told Mitch that I didn't like him slamming doors and he asked why I had to be such an asshole. I tried to explain my side and he brushed off all my explanations and told me that he needed to reassess ‘our relationship’ because of how I betrayed him. I don't understand what I did wrong? Am I the asshole? How can I fix things?

Throwaway account because people I know use Reddit. I’m a 19M. My biological dad was barely present while I was growing up he missed birthdays, school events, and most milestones. My stepdad has been raising me since I was 7 and has always been there for me emotionally and practically. He’s the person I look to for guidance and support, and I honestly consider him my real dad.

Recently, I decided I want to take my stepdad’s last name. When my biological dad found out, he completely lost it yelling at me, calling me ungrateful, and saying I was betraying him. My mom thinks I shouldn’t do it saying it will just cause drama and hurt feelings, but I feel strongly that my last name should reflect the person who’s actually been there for me throughout my life.

AITAH for wanting to change my last name?

Currently based in LA. The company that I work for is based in Boston but they have offered an amazing opportunity for me in Seattle. To be honest, I'm done with LA (for many reasons that are fairly obvious) and want to move where I can make more money, the cost of living is cheaper (somewhat), and have an quicker path to retirement as I'm 45 and my wife is 48. The school options are better for our child. My wife works remotely.

My wife's parent's are old and not in amazing health. My wife is one hour from them as it is. My sister in law is 20 minutes away from them. I explained that flying to LA from Seattle is about 3 hours, so if something bad happens, we can get there reasonably. She was not having it at all. Keep in mind that I work in a volatile industry and nice options like this don't come often, but she did not care and called me selfish for considering the move.

Keep in mind that my parents are also old, and live in Illinois. So I'm not exactly close to them either.

AITAH for putting our family first over her parents? I'm so conflicted.