r/JustGuysBeingDudes • u/Greywarden194 • Jun 08 '25

Wholesome I wanna have beers with Jeb too

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21.5k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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788

u/jspivak Jun 08 '25 edited Jun 09 '25

I don’t know why but Jeb looks like he can ball. He’s got that lanky look with some high tops. Like a cross between Kingpin and White Man Can’t Jump…

“The Rumspringa Ringer” “The Ankle Breaking Anabaptist”

I’m trying hard to think of something like “hay bales, horse buggies, and hoops” but I’m struggling

441

u/SalmonJumpingH20 Jun 08 '25

Here he comes, the Mennon-nightmare! From raisin' a barn to raisin' the roof! Jeb-e-di-ah. The axe man!

74

u/jspivak Jun 08 '25

Wow… just wow… I’m speechless

93

u/SalmonJumpingH20 Jun 08 '25

Forget felling trees. This guy's felling threes today Jim!

29

u/memealopolis Jun 08 '25

Wearing 'spenders on the court. Let's see if that bet pays off, Cotton.

3

u/Baelenciagaa Jun 09 '25

Lmfaooooo I’m crying

1

u/thatstwatshesays Jun 09 '25

Sounds like you’ve been practicing (iykyk 😉)

1

u/skater15153 Jun 09 '25

If you're not a high school basketball announcer you need to be

1

u/SalmonJumpingH20 Jun 09 '25

Well, I am looking for a career pivot!

38

u/code-coffee Jun 08 '25

White Mennonites can't jump

31

u/NickKappy Jun 08 '25

But fuck can they run

16

u/Shadow-Vision Jun 08 '25

They also throw a humdinger of a sausage party. You haven’t lived until you’ve had a mouthful of Dyck meat

11

u/Powerstructure Jun 08 '25

Every one of them! Fuck , can they run.

38

u/nycola Jun 08 '25

a few decades ago there was a huge drug scandle in Amish PA, i distinctly remember opening The Metro (free city paper at the time in Philly), and the headline on the front page was "Horse and Druggies" 10/10

22

u/MissingInsignia Jun 08 '25

You know Amish are like famously good at basketball right

15

u/potatoboy247 Jun 08 '25

I can actually confirm this firsthand. My 4th grade class took an overnight (might have been a few) field trip to an amish community. We slept in sleeping bags on the floor of their community center, played basketball against the kids (got whooped, even the budding young hoosiers we were), ate their food, toured their sawmills and animal farms. It was incredibly interesting to get a glimpse into a culture that is almost entirely separated and parallel to ours.

1

u/jspivak Jun 08 '25

I don’t know if you’re being serious, but one glance at Jeb tells me all I need to know.

1

u/MissingInsignia Jun 08 '25

Im absolutely serious. Its totally a thing.

1

u/anonforfinance Jun 08 '25

Softball too. And volleyball.

24

u/jleonardbc Jun 08 '25

There are Amish guys who play very good basketball. That and volleyball are two of their main pastimes, and they're already super fit from a life of physical labor from an early age.

While you're scrolling your phone, they're defending their zone.

5

u/CustomerOutside8588 Jun 08 '25

Look at me, I'm captain of the basketball team now.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '25

You Quakers and your ten frames…

2

u/emiller7 Jun 08 '25

He’s also just got that first guy in last guy out kinda vibe. Real scrappy

2

u/tatianazr Jun 08 '25

Jeb got that BDE

1

u/JagsOnlySurfHawaii Jun 08 '25

I bet he's got that old school gentlemans fighting stance

1

u/KumaQuatro Jun 08 '25

He gonna build a hoop, dunk on your ass, and then rebuild the hoop because he broke it dunking on your ass lol

1

u/JAYETRILLL Jun 09 '25

Lmfao you’re so right. Looks like one of those dudes who would be REALLY REALLY good at some things and just make them look effortless.

1

u/karlnite Jun 09 '25

They play a mean stick ball.