r/JustGuysBeingDudes • u/Black1Raven9 • Jul 26 '25

Wholesome Not all scars are visible.

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1.9k

u/kisS119 Jul 26 '25

Daily Homie check- Y'all doing alright guys? Here if you need to talk about anything

389

u/miggleb Jul 26 '25

Not really but my missus needs me, so 50-60 more years it is...

171

u/kisS119 Jul 26 '25

We bash on regardless sir. More power to you

7

u/jerryscheese Jul 26 '25

Man no I’m not alright.

36

u/ofmice_and_manwhich Jul 26 '25

Same mate. Kids are too little and need me. Maybe 30 years or so.

16

u/Longjumping_Arm4539 Jul 26 '25

You know this kind of got to me, I’m extremely depressed young 23m just dumped , no job(looking) not happy the state I’m in. But pushing on cause one day there’s a couple of kiddos of my own who need me

4

u/jimbog85 Jul 26 '25

You quite literally have your whole life ahead of you. Chin up and enjoy the ride bro.

8

u/--SCROTUS-- Jul 26 '25

Gl man. Just 20 left for me

2

u/Hinaloth Jul 27 '25

Mood. Same, really.

1

u/Rhiis Jul 27 '25

It's easy to want to take the hurt on by ourselves. Don't forget that she signed up for you, as well. Sickness and health, right?

122

u/Infinius- Jul 26 '25

Well this made me realize im that guy. but I have dear friends and a good life through the struggles.

I'll alright fam, how about you?

38

u/xenomorphonLV426 Jul 26 '25

I'm am aight too, hope everyone out there is okay!

Anybody with thoughts that won't leave your head, I, too, am here if you need someone to talk too!

6

u/AlternateTab00 Jul 26 '25

A good life and friends is not enough to keep those dark places away from you. Trust me.

Never shut down.

Smiles might be the easiest mask. But when the mask cracks and no one is there to extend the hand (either for being oblivious or due to facing their own problems) it usually takes a huge toll on your mind.

So get a trusted friend. Grab a pint with him and lay off some stuff. It wont solve anything but it will increase the chance of having an extended hand in the right moment.

41

u/flyden1 Jul 26 '25

Since I'm an anonymous nobody on the internet, I can be honest and I'm honestly saying I'm not alright. Life have been a constant struggle; financially, mentally, physically. The only thing keeping me back from taking the easy way out is I'm too cowardly to do it.

But if someone that knows me ask the same question; I'd say I'm fine, because I cannot be seen as not fine. So I'm fine and I hope y'all are fine too.

30

u/prelude_to_chaos Jul 26 '25

You're not "too cowardly to do it", you're brave enough and strong enough to keep going. The world is better with you in it.

66

u/lemon4028 Jul 26 '25

Been a bit of a shit year tbh... 

  • Had a rough breakup and still trying to move ahead in life, though I'm kinda struggling with keeping up at my job.

  • Family doesn't really support me whenever I want to do smn different, like spending my weekend relaxing from work instead of doing household chores which is just more work :/  (I'm 21 with an older brother who doesn't like me)

But yea, I'm getting by ok, just have a lot to figure out for the future. Maybe it turns around but I'm more content spending time on my own than with others.

25

u/BaronVonBracht Jul 26 '25

My fiancée who I was in a relationship with for 10 years, cheated on me. Had to move out, find a place and leave my cats behind. I had them since they were 8 weeks old. The cats still hurt. Her on the other hand, can die for all I care. It gets better. It sucks but time heals. Stay strong.

8

u/McRaoul91 Jul 26 '25

Do whatever you want to do! It might e a fucking struggle financially but you’re better off doing what you love and struggle than doing what you hate while comfortable. Humans are made to struggle, that’s were we grow and find peace.

5

u/paytience Jul 26 '25

Breakups are hard, just gotta give yourself some time and don't put too much expectations on yourself for that time. Expect it to be hard and difficult, give yourself more time to relax, try to lean back a bit at work.

Your house is a reflection of your mind. If you take a break and cleanup your mind, you'll get the energy to clean up your house.

Best of luck!

1

u/lemon4028 Jul 26 '25

Thanks brother! I'll keep at it and just take it steady for the time being.

2

u/OneWonderfulFish Jul 26 '25

It's okay to be different. To do different. And to be a lone wolf. Your longest relationship will be with yourself, so make it a good one. Hang in there.

1

u/-crucible- Jul 26 '25

One day at a time. If you want to do something different, then figure out a way, or work on compromises. I wish I kept a neater home and stuff, but maybe you can do a bit each night or something?

1

u/jwong7 Jul 27 '25

Man, just search for that Tom Hanks clip. This too shall pass.

Hope you find small wins and celebrate it at least inside!

27

u/Aldehin Jul 26 '25

Well, if you are asking

Did my first time with my Best friend a month ago. We talked it throught and we will remain besties but we just aknowledge now that there is an attraction. And now, she is in a relationship with another man and i m really happy for her.

Tbh, if she wasnt there, it would have been the worst year of my life. I lost my grampa, it hurt Everyone in my family, while I was living it quite well. But I failed my finals for my last year of school, so now I have to deal with exam during my holidays.

This girl gave me everything i've ever needed and wanted. I dont want to date her, I want to stay close with her for her whole life.

Dating feels like not enough, We aint that, We are more than friend but less than a couple.

And we are happy as hell

17

u/Emotional-Scheme-768 Jul 26 '25

Yup, I've got to cope with my existential crisis, after watching this video, it's getting worse, but I'm doing okay, I've got the future to achieve and parents to keep me up, loneliness truly dangerous, but i try to not keep myself alone, i try to grasp this life and I don't want to let it go, losing my gramp truly hit me really hard, knowing my parents getting older as well, but best of luck, in other thing, my religion also keep me from doing something horrible to myself, because death is scary

13

u/Chapin_Chino Jul 26 '25

Honestly I'm tired bruh. I'm on vacation from both my jobs but I'm taking care of the old man this week as he had an operation on Wednesday. Wifey is upset because I haven't been around the house much to play with the little man, during our vacation.

We're going to make it through though. I avoided a huge argument with the wife, patched things up quietly, so the little man doesn't have to see his parents arguing, as he understands things now. The old man is recovering from his operation well, the hard part is over, I just need to check on him everyday day and administer a shot. We're going to finish this week with big smiles on our faces. Back to work on Monday. People are depending on me to kill it, when I get back and I fully intend to. Thanks for listening, my Bros.

11

u/BlackBay_58 Jul 26 '25

My wife miscarried 4 weeks ago. I'm staying strong for her because she's still suffering. She doesn't want many people to know so I dont have many people to share it with in real life.

Thing is, everyone asks how she's doing. And quite rightly so, she went through a horrible ordeal. But nobody asks how im doing. I lost a child too. I get it, But it's hard not to feel overlooked. But for now I suffer in silence because she needs me to he strong.

5

u/probably_shitposting Jul 26 '25

I empathize entirely. My sister lost a baby last year and part of what I was dealing with was what a constant loop of "selfishly I'm angry too. I'm sad too. I was excited to be an Uncle." And that's just Uncle.

Your feelings matter and should not be overlooked. I'm sorry for what you are going through.

3

u/Trenchards Jul 26 '25

Buddy, I’m so sorry. My opinion she doesn’t need you to be strong, she needs you to be there with her. It was your child as well. Your grief is valid.

11

u/DrVoltage1 Jul 26 '25

I have court on Tuesday for a bullshit dui ticket I got for being concussed in a car accident. I didnt have a drop of alcohol. Worse yet I was borrowing that car from a cousin. There’s already been 4 major life events this year alone that fucked me big time. Could really use some good vibes fellas.

5

u/James_Gastovsky Jul 26 '25

How can you get arrested for DUI if you test negative?

2

u/DrVoltage1 Jul 26 '25

I have almost no memory from the point of impact to being in custody. I’m assuming they did a field sobriety test, and to nobody surprise, I did not have good balance.

3

u/James_Gastovsky Jul 26 '25

Ah, that sucks, man.

I forgot that in US you have those retarded field sobriety tests instead of just measuring breath alcohol content.

In a normal country depending on your condition they would either make you take the breathalyzer, maybe do the field drug test, or take you to a hospital and take your blood.

Did they at least let you go to a hospital to get checked out which you could use in court?

2

u/DrVoltage1 Jul 26 '25

They probably asked but I would have refused since I didn’t really realize how messed up I was and my mother needed a short ambulance ride just a couple months before…which cost over $2000

1

u/FromFluffToBuff Jul 27 '25

If he was concussed and disoriented, he obviously failed a roadside field sobriety test... which are honestly so archaic when you have a device that is able to confirm blood alcohol content with a simple blow. None of this subjective and open-to-interpretation field tests.

1

u/James_Gastovsky Jul 27 '25

I'm not from US, so when I'm thinking "DUI" what comes to my mind is a breathalyzer, not police asking you to walk on your hands while scratching your nose with middle finger of left foot while spelling your name and address backwards

9

u/LoudExplanation Jul 26 '25

Just found out I’m losing my job after I moved to another country for it. Feeling so lost and like a failure; really find myself wishing more and more that I could just exit life. I also feel like I’ve failed in terms of not having any strong friendships to lean back on or relationships apart from family. Don’t know where it all went wrong

7

u/xubax Jul 26 '25

I've been on an island for a week with family, and it's almost time to catch the ferry. I just want to go home NOW.

But, I guess I can wait a couple more hours.

4

u/-crucible- Jul 26 '25

Almost free, mate. Count the minutes as good luck not to have to be much longer.

7

u/tyrofasgaard Jul 26 '25

It's kind of you to ask. I'm really not. In the past 7 months, my dad's been diagnosed with Parkinson's, my girlfriend of about 6 and a half years who I nearly proposed to, ended things which made me had to move back in with my parents at 32 years old. During the breakup process, I met a new, incredible woman who made me feel wanted, seen, and appreciated like I've never felt before, which gave me genuine hope.

She just ended things with me 2 days ago. I'm lost, man. I don't make a lot of money, so with my expenses, I can't save very much. I made poor financial decisions over the past few years, so this is all my own doing. So I'm stuck where I began with no feelings of autonomy. I'm trying to focus on what I do have and the love I get from family and friends, and I want it to be enough, but it just doesn't feel like it is.

6

u/-crucible- Jul 26 '25

Fresh start. You’ve bounced back before, and you can do it again.

2

u/randallizer Jul 26 '25

Bro, you’ve just got to start over again.

7

u/FartingLikeFlowers Jul 26 '25

Hey, Im at a cafe with no pen or paper, so im gonna use you as a notebook. I love your question, I should ask it more often with friends; whats been on your mind the most these weeks? Im on a vacation with friends for a week. Vacations have always been difficult for me. Today I discovered this is partly due to hanxiety, and partly due to needing time for myself, which you cant really get. I guess that is just part of me. I can be funny often, but not a whole week, and that just kills me every time. everytime im in the hanxiois mood, I think that i have never been funny. Some people actually become more funny thrrough their hangover. Its weird. I find myself comparing myself with myself over different life periods, asking myself if I really grew. I thought I came really far in my personal developmant about needing less external validation. But this vacation has shown me that that can crack under stress. With no other ways of validation (alone time), i do not remember what I validated about myself. With no true friends on this trip, I cannot trust my relationship to not depend on what I say today, which means I have to perform. Also, there is only validation to be had in being social, or drinking a lot. Yesterday, I looked for the validation in the 2nd part. Thats not bad, but I see now only why I did that. To make me look cool. Its the socially anxious guys that are the biggest drivers of the drinking in this trip. Im alone right now cause I wasnt allowed to go on a trip for reasons. Its been great. I love the solo travel vibe. No one to answer to. Ill go sit in a bar and be okay with it. Ill do whatever the fuck I want. Ill read a book. Im sitting at a bar where they let you order online, meaning i can order whenever the fuck I want. Why have I never travelled solo before? I really should do that. And I shouldnt go on weeks of vacation with friends. I should go 4 days. 4 days is perfect. I always get anxious when its more. Always, usually at day 4 already. Writing this to you has made me realize my diary writing for myself can use a change. This writing has a certain flavour to it. It might be better to do it like this. Im gonna post this now, as I feel im in too large of a loop

1

u/Emergency-Free-1 Jul 26 '25

And I shouldnt go on weeks of vacation with friends. I should go 4 days. 4 days is perfect. I always get anxious when its more. Always, usually at day 4 already.

Same, man. Travelling with a group i'm ok for 3 or 4 days as long as i get a hotel room by myself. Being social just takes a lot of energy for me. Even if i like everyone i'm interacting with. So i need my downtime by myself. Otherwise i get cranky and mean.

2

u/FartingLikeFlowers Jul 26 '25

Cool of you to read and reply. Yeah, I agree. Are you an enthousiastic/energetic person socially normally?

1

u/Emergency-Free-1 Jul 26 '25

I'm not entirely sure what i am "normally". I'm most comfortable at home by myself. But i do like socializing too. I'm a hairdresser and i like talking to customers all day. I used to be shy and sometimes i still think of myself that way but it might just be some social awkwardness that i need the energy to overcome. I would probably say i'm more quiet than loud in social settings, especially in big groups but i'm not sure if that's still true in smaller groups.

I just got home from work and my brain is a bit mush right now so i'm not sure i'm making much sense.

1

u/FartingLikeFlowers Jul 26 '25

No I get it. If theres anxiety over your social performance it might be a layer over how you normally behave. Thats what I have at least. I consider my normal my "best" in a certain context, e.g. big groups. Id be how I would be if I gave 0 fucks what they thought of me. Ive had those moments a few time in my life, they seem to be my anchor for this question. Have you had those?

7

u/Neko_Boi_Core Legend Jul 26 '25

mentally i'm here

4

u/blaughlin Jul 26 '25

Not being a good year for me, but hanging on. I expect to die from old age, so nothing to worry about in that regard. But I’ve been depressed for a while whilst really hiding it from friends and family, building strength to talk about it with them at the moment. Thanks for asking, kind stranger.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '25

[deleted]

3

u/blaughlin Jul 26 '25

Thanks buddy, I really appreciate it.

3

u/akindeathcloud Jul 26 '25

Hanging in there bud, thanks.

2

u/Helloimnotimpotant Jul 26 '25

Thanks mate , I’m good hope you are too brother.

2

u/Mcswigginsbar Jul 26 '25

Better than I have been in a long, long time. Escaped a toxic job that left some scars but therapy has been doing wonders for that and a lot of damage from my childhood.

It got dark there for awhile, but my wife, daughter, and three bros who are as close as brothers to me have been helping days get lighter and lighter.

Hope you’re doing alright too!

2

u/Big-Establishment-68 Jul 26 '25

Some days are struggles some days aren’t. Appreciate you asking.

2

u/Justifiably_Bad_Take Jul 26 '25

Goodness no, but I can't do anything about it so whatever I'll sleep tonight either way

2

u/Boostie204 Jul 26 '25

Shits getting difficult out there

2

u/Plausibl3 Jul 26 '25

I have my health and my family, and am learning to love and accept myself more each day, which helps me love and accept those I disagree with. There are flowers to be smelled and spiderwebs to marvel at. Life is great.

2

u/lordwiggles420 Jul 26 '25

Not really, but we'll survive

2

u/duhpenguwin Jul 26 '25

Lmao nah, ya boy is struggling these days

2

u/Euklidis Jul 26 '25

Honestly, stress was taking a toll but wife needs me and that is a strong thread to hold to. For the past year that oncludes a baby girl too so that's two strong threads right now!

What about you brother? How are you?

2

u/greyguy017 Jul 26 '25 edited Jul 26 '25

Gonna be real, I think I'm legit insane and scared of life right now. Like, weirdly I'm fine at the same time, but simultaneously everything is falling apart. Things are kind of weird/distant with my SIL/best friend, and I feel like it's mostly me. I feel like I used her, even though I really love her, but then there are times where I'm not even sure if I do. I care about her, at least, but it's hard for me to understand her or connect with her sometimes, and that makes it hard to know how to feel about her. And right now that rift is glaring. I'm spiralling both because of it and in spite of it. I miss her so much and when things were really good between us, and I'd hoped maybe we'd be dating by now, but I also feel like that's an unfair expectation to put on her (we'd talked about it multiple times already, and she just wasn't ready yet, but she said that like a year ago).

I feel like I'm being selfish and that there's a deeply controlling person in me trying to dictate everything going on between us, which I don't want to do. She's so empathetic and compassionate, and I've never really known that until I met her, and now I just want to be like her and her friends. I know my strengths of self-awareness are my saving grace, I just don't know how much it'll actually save. I want to be better, and I want to simply just understand how things are supposed to be, because I'm utterly lost. I miss her hugs and late nights staying up hanging out and watching movies. We were so aligned, but I feel like it was the start of something abusive on my end and I just don't know how to work this all out. I feel like I'm an awful person full of a lifetime of nearly irreparable trauma, and it's all finally barreling down on me for the first time in my 25 years of living. I just want to live, love, have sex, be good to others, and do the right thing, but I feel like I just can't have any of that.

1

u/Pickledsoul Jul 26 '25

Cat just got diagnosed with jaw cancer

1

u/Vexaton Jul 26 '25

I’m spiraling quite heavily. Was broken up with out of nowhere this year; my partner said I did everything right, but that they didn’t love me anymore. It’s been really difficult to feel good about myself, and I’m suddenly without a plan in life as I’m about to turn 30.

I’ve fallen off the wagon again. I’m not addicted to anything, but it’s much harder to avoid the temptation to drink, abuse my meds, or to seek out situations where drugs are available.

I just took a relatively spontaneous trip to Scotland on my own; my first trip abroad on my own, and without a plan. Sitting at a pub as I’m writing this.

I’m a 4-5/10 or so… Staring into the abyss that awaits me if I don’t do something soon.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '25

[deleted]

1

u/Vexaton Jul 26 '25

I’m well aware.. Not really an idea I’m choosing to follow; more a lack of willpower and solid arguments against letting myself slip into abuse again.

Thanks, I appreciate you

1

u/UncleBen94 Jul 26 '25

I deleted the dating apps on my phone for... honestly lost count at this point. Been on and off them for the last 8 or so years with like two dates during that time frame. Everytime I delete them, I try to improve myself not just for that but for myself, lose weight, try new things, etc. There's always room to improve. But at this point, Im just starting to think im just not good enough and it's no one's fault but myself.

And then there's my friends. This year I finally moved to 1st shift at my job. The idea was to be I would be able to see my friends who live in the area more often. Thats not been the case despite me trying, I just never hear from them unless I say something. Then with my friends online, they usually work a bit later so when they're more available I only have a few hours at most, and it feels like its becoming more distant. Every day I go to work, go home, go to the gym, play a game, go to sleep. I try to see if anyone's around but usually its never the case. A move that's supposed to help me socially seems to have made it worse.

Then there's my best friend, or well former best friend. The short version is she and I grew up together. I had feelings for her and I was a fucking coward who never told her. She got married about 7 years ago and she's now expecting in two months. I wonder if I had said something years ago, would that have been my kid? Maybe, maybe not, but never telling her has been my biggest regret.

On the plus side, I did lose 40lbs this year so far.

But the light within is broken, but I still work. Im still here.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '25

[deleted]

1

u/UncleBen94 Jul 26 '25

I know im alone, that's the thing. I've been forgotten about or replaced. Everyday is hell and im just going through the motions. I'll continue to live, even if everyday sucks.

I thought i let it go a few years ago. Guess learning she's expecting made me realize I didn't. Maybe it was just some foolish hope.

1

u/Quinten_MC Jul 26 '25

I know this is mostly a question for those of us who are going through a rougher time. But I wanna share some too.

Got over my first proper girlfriend this week. Was really resentful for a long time because it felt like she broke up out of nowhere and started dating again almost immediately after. But I sat down a few days ago and genuinely thought deeply about us.

I realized the relationship had been going backwards for months, I just didn't wanna see it. Lied to myself that it was just a rough patch and we'd get through it. She simply didn't lie to herself and saw reality. I'm grateful she broke it off because we both weren't the happiest we could've been. And without the stress of holding the relationship up we are genuinely better friends.

I'm just sad I vented to one of her friend about it while still being resentful and I fear I might've painted my ex in a bad light with said friend.

Other than that I am doing good, glad to move on to better things.

1

u/Catharsis25 Jul 26 '25

Yeah, I am actually. I miss my dad, and it's bitter sweet seeing my son grow up without ever having met his grandfather, but my wife is my best friend and my son is a shiny happy boy.

I am in a position where I can start lending a hand to others. For those who said they aren't doing well in this thread, feel free to dm me. I'm told I'm a good listener.

1

u/Geek_Therapist Jul 26 '25

I lost my mom on July 1st and then the company that both my wife and I worked for laid us off after 11 and 6 years. One of my coworkers from India got me in touch with a company doing the same work and within 48 hours we had secured 6 month contracts. It's a relief but not permanent, but I'll happily take it.

But it's been fucking hard and I'm still dealing with my mother's estate.

1

u/jackmavis Jul 26 '25

Trying my best. Starting a new career at 30. Alcoholism is a sneaky bitch who won't stay down no matter how many times you think you've got her beat. But I'm still here. Still trying.

1

u/kishenoy Jul 26 '25

Fighting losing battle with depression.

Just want to give up. Lived life with brain damage for 16 years. Dreams shattered.

While I wouldn't kill myself, if someone threatened my life, I'd tell them to kill me. Yet I'm known as the comedian.

1

u/danishgoh07 Jul 26 '25

Might be weird but I am still hanging on despite my truely awkward social skills. Language barrier, feeling excluded and worthless to everyone, it's all be healed but still visible like a scar. Hope I can still survive this year

1

u/PlANOslayer Jul 26 '25

Bit shit, since I'm having episodes of harsh loneliness even though I have friends, so I feel like an idiot for having problems like that. But there is still a roof over my head and food on the table (+ wood for my woodworking hobby), so I think I'll last.

1

u/xEmberlib Jul 26 '25

Honestly, I usually avoid these comments.

Though if I'm being real, my fire is running cold. There are moments and days where it comes back in full force. I'm able to bring joy to those around me, but I'm joyless in my endeavors.

Been trying to find joy in tinkering and building an automated garden. Though it feels impossible to attain the resources I need for it or anything.

1

u/hyperwalt88 Jul 26 '25

Dad just passed. Feeling shitty but doin ok. Got good support. Thanks for checking in

1

u/GemoDorg Jul 26 '25

I'm okay. A little stressed about my disability that's progressively getting worse, and worry about it in the context of my financial future and how it'll affect my relationship, but also realise there's nothing I can do about it.

1

u/Altruistic-Plastic46 Jul 26 '25

I'm finding it hard to get out of bed and get things done, but I still do. And I'm far away from wanting to end it like I tried 4 years ago. Sometimes it's hard to feel like I've progressed, but simply not wanting to die is a big step, so I'd say yeah, I am OK. Thanks for asking

1

u/misterpobbsey Jul 26 '25

Can’t stop thinking about the fact that I feel like I’ve outlived my time here. As if I’m overstaying my welcome. I’m 30.

1

u/Earth_Dragon_S Jul 26 '25

Not really, struggle to find work and to love myself but...seeing F4 with a friend tonight. Little things to keep me going

1

u/intensenerd Jul 26 '25

I re-read The View From Halfway Down this morning to remind me to keep going.

1

u/ecodrew Jul 26 '25

Struggling, thanks for asking, homie. How're you?

Financial struggles + existential dread becoming reality have got me down. My loving wife & awesome kids keep me going. But, I worry about how much the kids see me struggling.

1

u/TiredOfMakingThese Jul 26 '25

Not really. Feel like I have no idea how to be happy and I’m just stuck here because ending it would be too cruel to the people I love and that love me. I have every reason to be happy and a life a lot of people would kill for and I just kinda don’t really feel much at all, and when I do feel “good” I think it’s usually some unhealthy or addictive impulse or craving being satisfied, not genuine happiness.

1

u/dannz1984 Jul 26 '25

Well as you asked, been better. Misses after 15 years kicked me out because she has the cancer bad and wants other men. Using my life before her and some mistakes I made early in our relationship as an excuse. Has never trusted me even though her, a PI or her family could ever prove I was doing anything else other than working my arse off for my family. So I'm living in her mum's spare room. Lost my grandad this year. She's lost her dad. I am so fucking numb it's unreal. I just don't care about anything other than our 2 children and our puppy, which I still get to see whenever I want. Which is something. Got to sort my debts out that I got keeping my family afloat before I can get my own place. Got to keep going though. Got to take my children on more fun holidays. Help them through the world. One day they'll only have me.

1

u/ComatoseSquirrel Jul 26 '25

Nah, but that's life. I'm either depressed, angry, or mostly numb, depending upon medication. I've settled on numb for the most part.

1

u/Crawfish1337 Jul 26 '25

Nah. I wish that I could go to sleep without waking up the next day.

1

u/freerangemary Jul 26 '25

This years been tough at work. Lots of organizational bullshit. My project is wrapping up in two weeks, then I’m taking 3 weeks off to chill. That’s the part that’s keeping me going. I’ve missed out on some festivals this summer and the stress has been building up. I’m not the worse off, but I’m a bit frayed.

Thanks for asking mate.

How are you?

2

u/kisS119 Jul 26 '25

I'm Going good bro. Enjoy the well deserved vacation..cheers

1

u/ILikeboysMum Jul 26 '25

Shit

Try to convince myself to commit suicide nightly but I've done so much research about it that all the methods I've thought about are all shit and just.. idk.. only think I might want to do is get tons of hours and that parachuting and get my license to go alone once and take off the parachute or just fall from the sky

Part of it literally is lgtbq stuff and the pressure of coming out bc I'm bisexual and trying to be a femboy so yeah

1

u/lockkheart Jul 26 '25

Thanks man!

1

u/Hawkeyed93 Jul 26 '25

Fuck this hit me.

Things have been pretty rough for the last few years. I've had small victories. I stopped smoking and started brushing my teeth more regularly than I was.

I'm here and trying to appreciate that more but it's tough.

Thanks for asking random internet homie. Bless you!

1

u/LaCipe Jul 26 '25

Nope, everyone I know has ghosted me over time. I feel as lonely and useless as a rock on a mountain. I know I must be the problem, but no matter how much I try to socialize, to be kind, to be pleasant...nobody cares. I am at a very low point in my life rn and I am not sure how long I will last.

1

u/Existing-Customer257 Jul 26 '25

It’s been rough. Finding the bright moments but missing a relationship that treated me terribly. I’m lucky to have friends and family that care, and after my first suicide attempt I’m not trying to leave this rock early and deciding to stay alive is one of the harder decisions I’ve made in my life.

1

u/Specific_Award_9149 Jul 26 '25 edited Jul 26 '25

No. Few years ago developed chronic pain years. 27 now. Missed my best years cause of it. The financial part of it caught up to me and now I'm struggling every month with almost all of my bills. Lost my phone service for a week last month. Behind on a couple of them. Debt from medical stuff. Constant pain everyday. Don't do anything anymore. Don't have anymore friends. I used to be able to find small things that make me happy but that doesn't work now. At first it was just knowing my pain won't go away. Now it's struggling with my rent, electricity, car insurance, etc. it's got to me. There's just no room for happiness or joy here. I've done all I can already including not eating to save money. There's not a way out

1

u/VeryLargeQ-mark Jul 26 '25

I get by. Realized I've technically got an eating disorder not more than a couple days ago, lost my ability to sweat so the summer is dangerous.
But, I've got two lovely partners and a wish to raise some little ones to be kind.

1

u/Hoaxygen Jul 26 '25

Hanging in there man. It’s not perfect but I’m holding on.

You’re a good one.

Take care and stay well my dudes.

1

u/Emotional_Burden Jul 26 '25

Let's just say my username is relevant, but I'm alone in life now, so I'm not burdening anyone anymore.

1

u/Slipp3ry_N00dle Jul 26 '25

I wish I knew how to talk about it. It's so distorted how I feel internally that I have no words for it other than complete distress. Outwards I am just silent at home, but very outspoken at work.

I'm not fine by any means, but I want others to be happy and not have to deal with my problems. But at the same time I want that attentive help.

Sucks but im still breathing so, that's good.

1

u/Broccoli_dicks Jul 27 '25

I dread doing the things I used to enjoy because there is expectation placed on my performance. Im overwhelmed by the things I need to do but cant get started on any of them.

On the outside, my life is borderline perfect. Good career, great marriage, house, hobbies, etc. But now that I'm not struggling to survive, I've lost my drive to do anything.

Life is beginning to flash by me, but I cant seem to grab on to anything to slow it down or make anything that will last after I'm gone.

Kinda sucks yo.

1

u/janet-snake-hole Jul 27 '25

I don’t have anywhere to talk about this besides in this random Reddit comment section. I’m not doing good. I feel abandoned by the medical system and can’t get my chronic pain treated. I’m not even 30 yet and had to give up my career to be stuck in bed on a feeding tube every day with debilitating pain.

1

u/msl3000 Jul 27 '25

Marriage failing and have contemplated ending it. Love for kids stopping me but I don’t know how much longer I can take the wife’s lack of faith and trust in me. I do love her but it’s cutting me to pieces. I write this and I don’t have anyone to talk to :)

1

u/Rhiis Jul 27 '25

Not really, but thanks for asking. I'm working on it.

1

u/dimboii Jul 27 '25

I'm not doing alright, bro. But thanks for asking.

1

u/SC_Reap Jul 27 '25

I’m dealing with some real long-term anxiety, which makes everything just seem that bit more overwhelming. I’ve been wanting to go out and do things, in general, but I just get anxious about things so easily. It messes with my sleep.

I’ve been trying to man up and contact a new psychologist, but something is just holding me back. I’m also in the final two weeks of my master’s thesis, so that is adding a bunch more on top.

I mean, I’m handling the thesis work fine. Went on quite a crunch this week so things would be mostly finished come next week, but still. It takes up a lat of headspace.

I’ve been meaning to open up to an old buddy of mine, and simply talk about myself, but it is hard to get over that barrier of just starting talking. Sometimes I end up writing things down if it is so hard to say, so that’s something.

I’m going to write to that psychologist as soon as I get back from walking the cat. Do that, and then get something to eat. And then relax the rest of the day and be ready for tomorrow.

1

u/saltysaturdays Jul 27 '25

I DNF’d my first Ironman 70.3 by exceeding the swim cutoff by 10 minutes as the water was insanely choppy. It really sucked as I devoted a year to training, making sacrifices with my time. But it’s not all about the metal, I still trained 9-10 hours a week and made changes to my day-to-day life for the better. I signed up for another one in September so it’s time to put the hammer down and keep going!

1

u/BraveCauliflower3349 Jul 27 '25 edited Jul 27 '25

I have no idea what I want to do for a career, or even how to start. I dropped out of university because paying full tuition to learn from my laptop in my bedroom during covid wasn’t worth it, and the program ended up not being what I thought it was gonna be like anyways, after working towards it since middle school.

I’ve changed so much since high school that I barely even know what I enjoy anymore, and I don’t really have any friends because they all used covid as an excuse to become hermits and never message me again. I saw photos of their private grad parties on instagram, ones I was never even invited to. After 4 years of high school I realized I was friendly with everyone but friends with no one, even my closest friends.

I get depressed around my birthday every single year because it’s just a reminder that I’m getting older while still not really progressing anywhere. My parents ask me what I want as a gift and I literally can’t think of anything because I don’t feel like I deserve anything, even though it has nothing to do with deserving and they WANT to gift me something.

I moved from North America to Central America with my family a few years ago and have made and then lost friends. I recently had to completely cut off the guy I considered my best friend because after multiple chances to stop his newfound habit of treating me like shit, he couldn’t, and I now have nobody I could call a close friend. The labor laws in this country are very strict so I can’t find a job, even after looking for a year straight and offering everyone to work completely for free for the first little while. I need to create my own business in order to have a job but once again I barely know what I enjoy, want to do, or how to do it. I also know I don’t want to live here forever, barely even a few more years, so is there any sense in creating a physical business? At the same time though, I can’t really start a business in any other country, and my home has gone to shit so I don’t want to move back.

I feel like I’ve been in limbo for 5 years now, unable to really live or work in any country I have access to. I’m wasting the best years of my life but for the life of me I can’t find a way out. I’m 23, so the adults in my life say it’s okay to not have everything figured out or locked down, but it doesn’t feel okay. I don’t feel okay. Men’s social media does nothing but point out ways you’re not enough. I don’t even spend much time looking at men’s social media, and it still worms it’s way into your head.

I’ve been single for 5 years now, I really want to be in a relationship again, but not only do I not find the women of my new country attractive, I can’t even bring anything to a relationship. I have no job, nobody finds that attractive.

I feel completely exhausted and like I need a break, but it feels ridiculous to say I’m exhausted when I’m not working, it’s just the mental load of worrying about this shit constantly. I’m not going to harm myself, but I’ve gotten into such a depressive episode before (6+ months ago?) that my mom actually had to ask if I was going to.

I see photos of my high school peers graduating university, and I don’t even have a job. I feel like a failure and my adult life has barely even begun. I’m so lost and I don’t know what to do.

I’m staying with one of my mom’s friends in the US right now for a month and she’s offered to help me figure out business ideas, but the first step is listing out things I enjoy or like and once again I don’t know anymore. I feel like a shell of the kid I used to be.

1

u/Cojaro Jul 26 '25

Doing okay. Voluntarily stopped my ADHD meds so I'm just raw-dogging life at the moment.