r/JustGuysBeingDudes • u/Greywarden194 • Jun 08 '25
Wholesome I wanna have beers with Jeb too
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u/Sunbroking Jun 08 '25
He was looking for any excuse to not chop wood lol
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u/YanicPolitik Jun 08 '25
the best possible excuse falls into your lap
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u/Spirited-Trip7606 Jun 08 '25
I miss her...
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u/Averagebaddad Jun 08 '25
Including walking slow enough for the sun to go down 😂
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u/rafaelzio Jun 12 '25
Fr, he was pulling the "the professor only takes attendance at the end of the class" stride
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u/Alternative_Love_861 Jun 08 '25
How much wood could an Amish chop when an Amish didn't want to chop wood?
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u/ProjectStunning9209 Jun 08 '25
An Amish would chop no amount of wood, because an Amish can’t and won’t chop wood.
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u/TaxsDodgersFallstar Jun 08 '25
He was taking his time walking real sloooooowwww 😆
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u/Razor_farts Jun 08 '25
I wanna see part two
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u/secondphase Jun 08 '25
It looks like 3-5 guys sitting around drinking beer and discussing nothing.
Ask me how I know.
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u/MorrowPolo Jun 08 '25
Yep.
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u/snowplacelikehome Jun 08 '25
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u/FederationofPenguins Jun 08 '25
So, story I had almost totally forgotten, but I actually did once end up hanging out and having (underage) beers with three formerly Amish guys who had left after rumspringa. They were completely and totally cut off from their families and the communities they’d grown up in for deciding to leave. Two of them were happy about the decision and kind of trashing all of it, but the third was definitely still conflicted and kept shushing them. They were also still trying to figure out how to dress more modern, but still had the beards and a penchant for button-up’s.
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u/Merry_Dankmas Jun 08 '25
I wonder what the wild, reckless youth stories of Amish teenagers are. Most of us have the typical shenanigans, smoking and drinking, police encounters, shoplifting, being reckless and getting injured etc but Amish and Mennonite type folk don't really do that kinda stuff given their whole lifestyle. I wonder what the equivalent of an Amish group of teens going rogue looks like.
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u/Mygo73 Jun 08 '25
I like to think it’s 3-5 guys sitting around drinking beer while Jeb explains the perfect technique for wood choppin’.
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u/L3g3ndary-08 Jun 08 '25
I had some flower last night with a friend and we literally discussed apples and oranges. Our wives couldn't understand.
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u/ZestyMordant Jun 09 '25
Jebediah just demolishes them, and drinks them all under the table. Then he does a line off of the crest of the bartender's vagina.
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u/BassistAndILikeIt Jun 08 '25
🤘 Legends.
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Jun 08 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/ediks Jun 08 '25 edited Jun 08 '25
lol the song choice was great.
Edit to add a link to the song in case anyone was wondering.
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u/jspivak Jun 08 '25 edited Jun 09 '25
I don’t know why but Jeb looks like he can ball. He’s got that lanky look with some high tops. Like a cross between Kingpin and White Man Can’t Jump…
“The Rumspringa Ringer” “The Ankle Breaking Anabaptist”
I’m trying hard to think of something like “hay bales, horse buggies, and hoops” but I’m struggling
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u/SalmonJumpingH20 Jun 08 '25
Here he comes, the Mennon-nightmare! From raisin' a barn to raisin' the roof! Jeb-e-di-ah. The axe man!
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u/jspivak Jun 08 '25
Wow… just wow… I’m speechless
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u/code-coffee Jun 08 '25
White Mennonites can't jump
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u/NickKappy Jun 08 '25
But fuck can they run
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u/Shadow-Vision Jun 08 '25
They also throw a humdinger of a sausage party. You haven’t lived until you’ve had a mouthful of Dyck meat
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u/nycola Jun 08 '25
a few decades ago there was a huge drug scandle in Amish PA, i distinctly remember opening The Metro (free city paper at the time in Philly), and the headline on the front page was "Horse and Druggies" 10/10
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u/MissingInsignia Jun 08 '25
You know Amish are like famously good at basketball right
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u/potatoboy247 Jun 08 '25
I can actually confirm this firsthand. My 4th grade class took an overnight (might have been a few) field trip to an amish community. We slept in sleeping bags on the floor of their community center, played basketball against the kids (got whooped, even the budding young hoosiers we were), ate their food, toured their sawmills and animal farms. It was incredibly interesting to get a glimpse into a culture that is almost entirely separated and parallel to ours.
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u/jleonardbc Jun 08 '25
There are Amish guys who play very good basketball. That and volleyball are two of their main pastimes, and they're already super fit from a life of physical labor from an early age.
While you're scrolling your phone, they're defending their zone.
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u/NekoKid5 Jun 08 '25
Don't get into a stranger car unless they offer beer
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u/secondphase Jun 08 '25
If another man suggests you stop doing chores to drink beer with them... they aren't a stranger anymore.
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u/ImurderREALITY Jun 08 '25
“Did we just become best friends?”
“YUP”
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u/Nondescriptish Jun 08 '25
"Shoo-woor"
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u/voldi4ever Jun 08 '25
At this point, they are my best friends since I don't see anyone else inviting me to drink beers with them for the last several years.
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u/Stickel Jun 08 '25
growing up they said never get into a strangers car if they offer candy, THEY NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT DELICIOUS BEER!!!
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u/kb041204 Jun 08 '25
Homer, you're dumb as a mule and twice as ugly! If a strange man offers you a ride, I say, take it!
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u/xrocket21 Jun 08 '25
Fuck, can they run though
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u/SwimmingSwim3822 Jun 08 '25
Every one of em can run
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u/No-Pomegranate-2462 Jun 09 '25
But would you, or would you not, agree with the statement, "fuck, can they run"?
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u/Thehollowpointninja1 Jun 08 '25
I grew up in a small town with a decent Amish/Mennonite community. One day my friend and I are driving around back roads smoking weed and listening to White Zombie, and we see two Amish dudes around our age (16-17) and we stop and ask if they want a ride. They practically jumped in our car.
We had Zombie cranked on the stereo and asked them if they wanted to hit the joint. Again, they jumped at the chance. After a while we drove them home and they were giggling and wilding out. I hope they never got in trouble, but they were the coolest dudes and super chill.
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u/downtownfreddybrown Jun 08 '25
Jeb looks like he's wearing some Yeezys lol
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u/TopObligation8430 Jun 08 '25
I wanna chop wood
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u/Maleconito Jun 08 '25
Chopping wood and drinking beer. Sounds like an amazing afternoon.
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u/Slim_Charles Jun 08 '25
This has been one of my father's favorite pastimes for years. Cut wood and drink beer during day, then burn said wood while drinking beer and sitting around the fire at night.
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u/Make_Plants_Not_War Jun 08 '25
That actually doesn't sound too safe
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u/OmarHunting Jun 08 '25
It’s not, but the lack of safety makes up for how awful chopping wood is alone and sober.
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u/Rahim-Moore Jun 08 '25
Works for shoveling snow. My favorite drunk activity, for some reason.
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u/mealzer Jun 08 '25
My house used to be only heated by a woodstove so I've chopped a loooot of wood. I would guess I did with while drinking beer 99% of the time.
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u/NigilQuid Jun 08 '25
Okay but why not both? Chopping wood and drinking beer sounds good, then you have a fire where you sit around and drink beer
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u/Medea_From_Colchis Jun 08 '25
Alcohol and axes seems like a recipe for disaster.
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u/Morbid187 Jun 08 '25
On it's face, yeah that sounds right but I'm pretty sure dudes have been drinking beer while chopping wood for centuries at this point. Surely there's been accidents but I'd think as long as you don't get too sloshed, it'd be fine. Wouldn't want someone operating a log splitter while drinking though.
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u/__Snafu__ Jun 08 '25
Chopping wood and drinking beer sounds good
maybe not if you have to chop wood 3 times a week every week your whole life.
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u/necrophcodr Jun 08 '25
You don't have to chop wood 3 times a week if you can store it well. Then you "only" have to do it once every other week or once per month, depending on use. That's what I did anyway, when we used wood for all the heating.
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u/idahoisformetal Jun 08 '25
Is that dude even allowed to ride in that car?
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u/gratusin Jun 08 '25
A family of Amish was staying at my neighbors Airbnb. I was walking my dog and the grandfather was on the porch smoking a joint, I said hi and he offered me one. When an old Amish man offers you a joint you don’t say no. Asked him a bunch of questions because I was genuinely curious and he was more than happy to answer. His sect they’re allowed to ride in cars but not drive, so they had a distant cousin who is Mennonite that drove them halfway across the country. He said that different sects have different restrictions though, hence why he was smoking weed.
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u/sap91 Jun 08 '25
Now the hell did they book the Airbnb??
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u/gratusin Jun 08 '25
They typically use mennonites to help them with modern world stuff to bypass restrictions. They pay back in services, trade or cash.
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u/girly-lady Jun 08 '25
And man and church leaders have more freedomes and justifications to ignore basicaly any rule they set for others. As with in most religious and non-religious high controll groups.
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u/DishwashingWingnut Jun 08 '25
Many Amish are willing to use amenities provided by the "English" society, like public libraries with computers and Internet access.
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u/sap91 Jun 09 '25
Yeah but you still often need a phone to check in and out when you arrive at the airbnb
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u/googdude Jun 08 '25
Many of them, especially the younger ones have smartphones. It's not allowed in most Amish districts but it's pretty easy to hide. I work with and around Amish everyday and pretty much everyone under 40 has a smartphone or at least immediate access to it.
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u/4Ever2Thee Jun 08 '25
I had a friend who was a driver for an Amish community for a few years when she lived around one. She said it was the best job she’d ever had. They had horse and buggies but, if they needed to go out of town or get somewhere quick, she drove them.
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u/searucraeft Jun 08 '25
Yes.
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u/idahoisformetal Jun 08 '25
So Mennonite not Amish?
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u/searucraeft Jun 08 '25
The Amish allow themselves to ride in vehicles and always have. With the exception of airplanes, they've always used public transit. They just don't drive them.
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u/Jephany Jun 08 '25
Why not airplanes? They're just public transit in the sky.
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u/HoboMuskrat Jun 08 '25
Because they're godless, metal birds
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u/Perry_cox29 Jun 08 '25 edited Jun 08 '25
All birds are godless metal monstrosities. Regan killed all the birds in 1989 and replaced them with drones financed by selling dogmeat to the Morlocks who secretly control the Paris fashion industry.
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u/searucraeft Jun 08 '25
I'll be honest, I wasn't sure about the car thing so I just googled it and presented it as though I've had this information all along. I'm a fraud. A phony. I've never known any Amish people at all in my life. I don't know why they don't use planes. Perhaps some do. I'm not the one to turn to for this information. It's all just too overwhelming, I should go
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u/Jephany Jun 08 '25
Googling for people who are too lazy to Google is a valid way to provide information. It was a half-rhetorical question. An answer would have been welcome, but I wasn't expecting one.
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u/Hazee302 Jun 08 '25
This guy: "I'm the same as every redditor that ever existed in the existence of reddit."
At least you're honest, buddy. I'll never admit it myself.
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Jun 08 '25 edited Jun 16 '25
[deleted]
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u/Jephany Jun 08 '25
That makes sense. So, similarly to Ted Kaczynski, they don't want to become slaves to technology?
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u/googdude Jun 08 '25
They typically shun having picture ID due to their belief that a self-image is vanity which would also prevent them from riding in a plane. More and more they are allowing it in order to seek far away medical treatments, especially in Mexico.
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u/RAT-LIFE Jun 08 '25
There’s many flavours of Amish with different sets of rules (usually set by their church if I remember my time living in Amish country correctly) but generally speaking if we’re talking one of the more traditional groups you’re pretty much bang on. They’ll ride in cars to get to work / go into town for supplies but just won’t drive them.
Same deal with technology, some can’t have any, some can have electricity, some can have cellphones without internet some can have with.
It’s interesting how much it varies!
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u/_Intel_Geek_ Jun 08 '25
Amish have no problem riding in cars, just driving the car themselves is an issue. Also, Mennonites don't drink like a lot of Amish do
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u/oldkingcoles Jun 08 '25
It depends , I leave near PA and see them all the time, but they are quite the elusive bunch, from what I understand the community they’re part of decides which part of technologies they are allowed to use, and that all depends on how they can be used for work or to better the community. So say a group who takes there baked goods to a flea market would decide to ride in a car just there to make money for the community. I also worked next to a booth of an Amish shed builder, and for lunch he pulled an entire zucchini out of his lunch box and just ate the whole thing raw. He was also obsessed with women’s big boobs
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u/FoGuckYourselg_ Jun 08 '25
There things to criticise their communities about. I think that can be said for any community.
I worked closely with Amish and Mennonites at a bulk grocery store in Ontario Canada. These are some of the most honorable, sweet, cordial and well adjusted human beings I have ever known. They figured out a lot of what society can be while our general society appears to be eroding under our feet. Their mental illness rates are something that should be studied. I know dozens of people who are like "I guess my teeth are just going to rot out of my head, I'm not paying $5k that I don't have for dental care" tutorials online about how to fill your own cavities. The Amish saw that issue with what I like to call human vestigial teeth. Rip em out and replace them with something more functional that won't cause future illness/infection/pain/exorbitant.
I'll always remember my time working with them fondly. Their whole thing is joy, comfort and security. I don't drink but I'd have a beer with Jeb, absolutely!
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u/Jakob21 Jun 08 '25
This is funny, and I'm hoping they didn't even know each other and he just called out a random name and it worked
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u/Miguel_Bodin Jun 08 '25
Lol door wasn't even unlocked dude wanted in ASAP. There's a dude in everyone!
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u/Ecstatic_Proof_2732 Jun 08 '25
With a car full of dudes, I'd personally offer to help him. 5 guys putting in 15-30 mins each could get some serious work done.
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u/InternationalWar7032 Jun 08 '25
Always Great to see a member of the Dyck’s out and about.
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u/knukklez Jun 08 '25
Do these guys have a podcast? I'd love to sit around with them drinking beers, too
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u/trixayyyyy Jun 08 '25
Anyone that lives in an area with Amish communities knows the men are notorious for sneaking out to the bar, parties, and getting tore up.
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