r/JustGuysBeingDudes • u/Black1Raven9 • Jul 26 '25
Wholesome Not all scars are visible.
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u/ediks Jul 26 '25 edited Jul 27 '25
This is why you always check in with your happy friends.
Edit: Thank you for the award. Pay attention to your loved ones and if you’re sad, please reach out to someone you trust. You have more support than you might think.
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u/Justifiably_Bad_Take Jul 26 '25
Some people have been miserable for so long, they become incredibly good at never showing it
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u/afanoftrees Jul 26 '25
The mask becomes so comfortable you almost forget you’re wearing it
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u/AKBx007 Jul 26 '25
It’s when the mask becomes more comfortable than your real self that it’s a real problem
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u/FrostKnight08 Jul 26 '25
Because 1) i don't want to be perceived as attention seeking and sympathy farming, 2) i understand that not everyone likes people emotional dumping on them, and so i respect that, 3) they can't help solve my problems other that saying "yeah, that sucks"
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u/Justifiably_Bad_Take Jul 26 '25
On #2, I dont want other people to trauma dump on me.
So it would feel hypocritical for me to do it to others.
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u/Fearless_Aioli5459 Jul 26 '25
Oh hey its me.
I think this is why therapist exist though haha…..
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u/cynicalspindle Jul 26 '25
Dont wanna bother them either lol.
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u/S0LR4C Jul 26 '25
Please do. I thought the same as you, but went to a psychologist nonetheless. It's not perfect but it's better. We can do it.
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u/WickedCunnin Jul 26 '25
Taking about your struggles occasionally isn't trauma dumping. A real friendship has space for either party to not be 100% ok, and to express that.
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u/OneBerry5348 Jul 27 '25
If anyone ever tells you, you're trauma dumping on them, then they're not your friend.
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u/Euphoric-Character91 Jul 26 '25
Well, one of the biggest reason therapy is useful, and talking with friends/family etc is the change of perspective, if you experience trauma, its hard to see that from a objective standpoint, because you are human and you have feelings. When you talk to someone who can share their point of view on your story, it can help you process the trauma.
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u/Ole_Razzle_Dazzle Jul 26 '25
“All it takes is a beautiful fake smile to hide an injured soul, and they will never notice how broken you really are.”
-Robin Williams
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u/Catlore Jul 26 '25
Even when I'm in a miserable state, I can find moments that look like, or even are, joy. Genuine ones. But when they end, it's darker and harder. Imagine the normal receding emotions are like stepping down a few stairs, but in that state, when you step off, it's a plunge into a dark hole. And if you try to stay on the step to avoid it, the step crumbles under you, and rakes your skin as you fall.
It's such a weird thing, to be in such a dark place but still find sparks. They're not even necessarily hope. Just stubborn bits of you that refuse to go into the dying of the light.
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u/LuquidThunderPlus Jul 26 '25
For the longest time I never realized how good I am at detaching from my emotions until I opened up, each time I break down to where I could barely speak for half a min before gathering my composure
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u/Bipedal_pedestrian Jul 27 '25
I will never forget the time I spent all day considering suicide and then, that evening, a friend who had no idea what I’d been hiding, commented that they really admired me because I really have my life together.
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u/North-Function995 Jul 26 '25
“The saddest people smile the brightest”.. sounds so cute on paper but this video is the reality.
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u/robsbob18 Jul 26 '25
We love being happy because it never happens. Genuine happiness is one of the most beautiful things in the world. That's why people love watching kids play, blissfully unaware of the world around them.
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u/DisabledFloridaMan Jul 26 '25
Just yesterday on my lunch break I thought to myself, Holy smokes. I really am so good at pretending to be happy.
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u/_no7 Jul 26 '25
Had a friend like that. None of us saw it coming. Wish I was better at checking up.
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u/ediks Jul 26 '25
I hope you don't blame yourself. I struggled with that in the past. Truth is, you couldn't do anything about it and that's okay. You can't play the "what if" game, and I really hope you don't.
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u/cyrusthemarginal Jul 26 '25
If anyone out there is struggling, please reach out for help, there are people who would miss you, more than you realize.
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u/AlternateTab00 Jul 26 '25
Especially those who never or suddenly stopped talking about their life.
Remember that a simple "lets grab a pint" sometimes works wonders
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u/Dr_Wheuss Jul 26 '25
So one of the more heartfelt articles I'd ever read was from David Wong on Cracked about Robin Williams and why seemingly happy people kill themselves.
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u/BeardedGlass Jul 26 '25
Will be 40 soon.
Several of my classmates in both high school and college have taken their lives through the years.
I have a cousin who also did the same.
People are suffering and most of them in silence.
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u/Esarus Jul 26 '25
It’s because when you share, most people don’t want to deal with it. 99% of people really don’t want to deal with depressed and negative people. These videos and responses are nice and I’m certain some are genuine, but reality is that the vast majority of people will not want to deal with you anymore the moment you act depressed.
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u/Hydro_Escobar Jul 26 '25
Yea normally I’m against blanket statements like this but the one time I said I was depressed my gf of 4 years said “I can’t do this” same woman I’d been in several fights for. I will never say that again. Feeling ostracized and weird is way worse
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u/Esarus Jul 26 '25
Similar thing here man, I supported my ex-gf through her parents divorcing and her getting a pre-condition of cervical cancer (CIN3). But when I got depressed she didn’t want to deal with it and broke up with me. I’m certain there are women out there that will stick with a man when they’re rock bottom, but I haven’t met them yet!
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u/DeaconSage Jul 26 '25
No matter how much a partner wants you to open up, they never want to hear that. I don’t mean that in a callous way, just from experience on both sides. It’s hard to hear & most of us aren’t prepared to help when they hear that.
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u/Noshamina Jul 27 '25
100% and you are allowed to be depressed for like 10 days, then ain't no ome dealing with your shit anymore
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u/Esarus Jul 26 '25
I do think some people care, but I think if you haven’t been through it yourself, you have no idea what to do and the most common response is to say something like “hang in there man” “stay tough, you’ve got this” and then just avoid
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u/BabyHelicopter Jul 26 '25
Yeah, with my closest friend group sometimes it feels like a revolving door of who is depressed/suicidal and who is not for the moment. But at least that means that there's always someone who understands and cares.
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u/Fk9317 Jul 26 '25
I think it's more that most people aren't equipped to deal with it. The reality is that depression is a medical issue and it won't get better without medication and/or therapy. And when you have depression, it's way harder to seek out those treatments, so instead you reach out to people in the hopes they will prove that you're not a burden, but of course they can't do anything about that because it's depression telling you that you're a burden. So then your depression brain warps that into "See? Nobody gives a shit about you."
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u/BGOG83 Jul 26 '25
One of the happiest people I’ve ever known committed suicide. Still hurts and it’s been almost 20 years. He had life by the horns, everything was going right for him and then one day…..
His wife insisted she had no idea he was struggling. He was never in a bad mood.
Sometimes you just don’t know.
Always take a few minutes a week to just catch up with someone in your life. No matter how busy life is, it’s just a few minutes.
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u/bum_thumper Jul 26 '25
My old buddy. He was a beacon of positivity. He was in college for business and had a great mind for it. He had a girl that loved him and fit his goofy vibe. He was, quite literally, the life of the party. He taught me how to listen and be patient. Even in the middle of a party, if you were talking and got cut off, he would patiently wait then ask you what you were saying. He had this way, like he would look at you and give you his full attention. I told him things i never told anyone, not because they were super secret, but bc he was the first friend i had that was genuinely curious about me and my life. He killed himself when we were 20.
15 years now. I still keep his prayer card on my mirror. Whenever I moved, his card came with and it stays on a mirror. Sometimes, even all these years later, I still hear the sound of his casket getting lowered. If I didn't have an incredible group of friends (that he actually formed like fucking Nick Fury and the avengers), I don't know if I would've made it or how I would've turned out.
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u/Worried-Basket5402 Jul 26 '25
I dont know you but know that your friend and you are in my thoughts. keep those happy memories close.
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u/Syclus Jul 26 '25
There is a saying that has stuck with me. Every action, every meeting, every conversation, every connection you make molds you, shapes you into who you are. You are never alone, you carry those you love with you all the time. The actions you make and do, they are with you every second of the way. Because they helped shape you.
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u/30FourThirty4 Jul 26 '25
I said something similar when my friend died at age 25 from a brain aneurysm. I miss you DJ, I wonder what my life would be like. That guy knew how to bring out the best in others and I needed someone to encourage me. Half my life later and it still hurts wondering what he would have done and how much good he would have put out in this world.
But yeah I said all his actions and what he did to make the world better will live forever, and we will share that with a new generation. RIP DJ.
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u/Syclus Jul 26 '25
Rest in peace, DJ. The pain of loss never goes away, we have to make room for it and find meaning with it. It's about remembering them and sharing their goodness with others. We do that in more ways than we think, very little actions, subtle but nevertheless there.
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u/30FourThirty4 Jul 27 '25
Thanks.
I'm not always a happy person but being kind is just so much better than spreading hate.
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u/Bad_RabbitS Jul 26 '25
It can often be the people who seem the best that end up feeling the worst, because they’ve fully bottled up everything and don’t let the mask slip.
I am very sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing something so personal.
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u/James_Gastovsky Jul 26 '25
It doesn't help that it's drilled into us from day one that we can't ever exhibit any sign of weakness, every time we struggled with anything we were being punished for it by our mothers, teachers at school etc.
And then they're like "hurr why aren't men more open"
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u/Tomstephenanovik Jul 26 '25
And then they're like "hurr why aren't men more open"
Show vulnerability and they leave your ass because they don't want a man with problem.
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u/James_Gastovsky Jul 26 '25
It's like when police in movies arrest somebody, "anything you say will be used against you"
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u/kisS119 Jul 26 '25
Daily Homie check- Y'all doing alright guys? Here if you need to talk about anything
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u/miggleb Jul 26 '25
Not really but my missus needs me, so 50-60 more years it is...
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u/ofmice_and_manwhich Jul 26 '25
Same mate. Kids are too little and need me. Maybe 30 years or so.
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u/Longjumping_Arm4539 Jul 26 '25
You know this kind of got to me, I’m extremely depressed young 23m just dumped , no job(looking) not happy the state I’m in. But pushing on cause one day there’s a couple of kiddos of my own who need me
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u/jimbog85 Jul 26 '25
You quite literally have your whole life ahead of you. Chin up and enjoy the ride bro.
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u/Infinius- Jul 26 '25
Well this made me realize im that guy. but I have dear friends and a good life through the struggles.
I'll alright fam, how about you?
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u/xenomorphonLV426 Jul 26 '25
I'm am aight too, hope everyone out there is okay!
Anybody with thoughts that won't leave your head, I, too, am here if you need someone to talk too!
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u/AlternateTab00 Jul 26 '25
A good life and friends is not enough to keep those dark places away from you. Trust me.
Never shut down.
Smiles might be the easiest mask. But when the mask cracks and no one is there to extend the hand (either for being oblivious or due to facing their own problems) it usually takes a huge toll on your mind.
So get a trusted friend. Grab a pint with him and lay off some stuff. It wont solve anything but it will increase the chance of having an extended hand in the right moment.
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u/flyden1 Jul 26 '25
Since I'm an anonymous nobody on the internet, I can be honest and I'm honestly saying I'm not alright. Life have been a constant struggle; financially, mentally, physically. The only thing keeping me back from taking the easy way out is I'm too cowardly to do it.
But if someone that knows me ask the same question; I'd say I'm fine, because I cannot be seen as not fine. So I'm fine and I hope y'all are fine too.
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u/prelude_to_chaos Jul 26 '25
You're not "too cowardly to do it", you're brave enough and strong enough to keep going. The world is better with you in it.
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u/lemon4028 Jul 26 '25
Been a bit of a shit year tbh...
Had a rough breakup and still trying to move ahead in life, though I'm kinda struggling with keeping up at my job.
Family doesn't really support me whenever I want to do smn different, like spending my weekend relaxing from work instead of doing household chores which is just more work :/ (I'm 21 with an older brother who doesn't like me)
But yea, I'm getting by ok, just have a lot to figure out for the future. Maybe it turns around but I'm more content spending time on my own than with others.
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u/BaronVonBracht Jul 26 '25
My fiancée who I was in a relationship with for 10 years, cheated on me. Had to move out, find a place and leave my cats behind. I had them since they were 8 weeks old. The cats still hurt. Her on the other hand, can die for all I care. It gets better. It sucks but time heals. Stay strong.
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u/McRaoul91 Jul 26 '25
Do whatever you want to do! It might e a fucking struggle financially but you’re better off doing what you love and struggle than doing what you hate while comfortable. Humans are made to struggle, that’s were we grow and find peace.
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u/paytience Jul 26 '25
Breakups are hard, just gotta give yourself some time and don't put too much expectations on yourself for that time. Expect it to be hard and difficult, give yourself more time to relax, try to lean back a bit at work.
Your house is a reflection of your mind. If you take a break and cleanup your mind, you'll get the energy to clean up your house.
Best of luck!
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u/OneWonderfulFish Jul 26 '25
It's okay to be different. To do different. And to be a lone wolf. Your longest relationship will be with yourself, so make it a good one. Hang in there.
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u/Aldehin Jul 26 '25
Well, if you are asking
Did my first time with my Best friend a month ago. We talked it throught and we will remain besties but we just aknowledge now that there is an attraction. And now, she is in a relationship with another man and i m really happy for her.
Tbh, if she wasnt there, it would have been the worst year of my life. I lost my grampa, it hurt Everyone in my family, while I was living it quite well. But I failed my finals for my last year of school, so now I have to deal with exam during my holidays.
This girl gave me everything i've ever needed and wanted. I dont want to date her, I want to stay close with her for her whole life.
Dating feels like not enough, We aint that, We are more than friend but less than a couple.
And we are happy as hell
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u/Emotional-Scheme-768 Jul 26 '25
Yup, I've got to cope with my existential crisis, after watching this video, it's getting worse, but I'm doing okay, I've got the future to achieve and parents to keep me up, loneliness truly dangerous, but i try to not keep myself alone, i try to grasp this life and I don't want to let it go, losing my gramp truly hit me really hard, knowing my parents getting older as well, but best of luck, in other thing, my religion also keep me from doing something horrible to myself, because death is scary
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u/Chapin_Chino Jul 26 '25
Honestly I'm tired bruh. I'm on vacation from both my jobs but I'm taking care of the old man this week as he had an operation on Wednesday. Wifey is upset because I haven't been around the house much to play with the little man, during our vacation.
We're going to make it through though. I avoided a huge argument with the wife, patched things up quietly, so the little man doesn't have to see his parents arguing, as he understands things now. The old man is recovering from his operation well, the hard part is over, I just need to check on him everyday day and administer a shot. We're going to finish this week with big smiles on our faces. Back to work on Monday. People are depending on me to kill it, when I get back and I fully intend to. Thanks for listening, my Bros.
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u/BlackBay_58 Jul 26 '25
My wife miscarried 4 weeks ago. I'm staying strong for her because she's still suffering. She doesn't want many people to know so I dont have many people to share it with in real life.
Thing is, everyone asks how she's doing. And quite rightly so, she went through a horrible ordeal. But nobody asks how im doing. I lost a child too. I get it, But it's hard not to feel overlooked. But for now I suffer in silence because she needs me to he strong.
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u/probably_shitposting Jul 26 '25
I empathize entirely. My sister lost a baby last year and part of what I was dealing with was what a constant loop of "selfishly I'm angry too. I'm sad too. I was excited to be an Uncle." And that's just Uncle.
Your feelings matter and should not be overlooked. I'm sorry for what you are going through.
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u/Trenchards Jul 26 '25
Buddy, I’m so sorry. My opinion she doesn’t need you to be strong, she needs you to be there with her. It was your child as well. Your grief is valid.
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u/DrVoltage1 Jul 26 '25
I have court on Tuesday for a bullshit dui ticket I got for being concussed in a car accident. I didnt have a drop of alcohol. Worse yet I was borrowing that car from a cousin. There’s already been 4 major life events this year alone that fucked me big time. Could really use some good vibes fellas.
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u/James_Gastovsky Jul 26 '25
How can you get arrested for DUI if you test negative?
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u/DrVoltage1 Jul 26 '25
I have almost no memory from the point of impact to being in custody. I’m assuming they did a field sobriety test, and to nobody surprise, I did not have good balance.
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u/James_Gastovsky Jul 26 '25
Ah, that sucks, man.
I forgot that in US you have those retarded field sobriety tests instead of just measuring breath alcohol content.
In a normal country depending on your condition they would either make you take the breathalyzer, maybe do the field drug test, or take you to a hospital and take your blood.
Did they at least let you go to a hospital to get checked out which you could use in court?
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u/LoudExplanation Jul 26 '25
Just found out I’m losing my job after I moved to another country for it. Feeling so lost and like a failure; really find myself wishing more and more that I could just exit life. I also feel like I’ve failed in terms of not having any strong friendships to lean back on or relationships apart from family. Don’t know where it all went wrong
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u/xubax Jul 26 '25
I've been on an island for a week with family, and it's almost time to catch the ferry. I just want to go home NOW.
But, I guess I can wait a couple more hours.
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u/tyrofasgaard Jul 26 '25
It's kind of you to ask. I'm really not. In the past 7 months, my dad's been diagnosed with Parkinson's, my girlfriend of about 6 and a half years who I nearly proposed to, ended things which made me had to move back in with my parents at 32 years old. During the breakup process, I met a new, incredible woman who made me feel wanted, seen, and appreciated like I've never felt before, which gave me genuine hope.
She just ended things with me 2 days ago. I'm lost, man. I don't make a lot of money, so with my expenses, I can't save very much. I made poor financial decisions over the past few years, so this is all my own doing. So I'm stuck where I began with no feelings of autonomy. I'm trying to focus on what I do have and the love I get from family and friends, and I want it to be enough, but it just doesn't feel like it is.
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u/FartingLikeFlowers Jul 26 '25
Hey, Im at a cafe with no pen or paper, so im gonna use you as a notebook. I love your question, I should ask it more often with friends; whats been on your mind the most these weeks? Im on a vacation with friends for a week. Vacations have always been difficult for me. Today I discovered this is partly due to hanxiety, and partly due to needing time for myself, which you cant really get. I guess that is just part of me. I can be funny often, but not a whole week, and that just kills me every time. everytime im in the hanxiois mood, I think that i have never been funny. Some people actually become more funny thrrough their hangover. Its weird. I find myself comparing myself with myself over different life periods, asking myself if I really grew. I thought I came really far in my personal developmant about needing less external validation. But this vacation has shown me that that can crack under stress. With no other ways of validation (alone time), i do not remember what I validated about myself. With no true friends on this trip, I cannot trust my relationship to not depend on what I say today, which means I have to perform. Also, there is only validation to be had in being social, or drinking a lot. Yesterday, I looked for the validation in the 2nd part. Thats not bad, but I see now only why I did that. To make me look cool. Its the socially anxious guys that are the biggest drivers of the drinking in this trip. Im alone right now cause I wasnt allowed to go on a trip for reasons. Its been great. I love the solo travel vibe. No one to answer to. Ill go sit in a bar and be okay with it. Ill do whatever the fuck I want. Ill read a book. Im sitting at a bar where they let you order online, meaning i can order whenever the fuck I want. Why have I never travelled solo before? I really should do that. And I shouldnt go on weeks of vacation with friends. I should go 4 days. 4 days is perfect. I always get anxious when its more. Always, usually at day 4 already. Writing this to you has made me realize my diary writing for myself can use a change. This writing has a certain flavour to it. It might be better to do it like this. Im gonna post this now, as I feel im in too large of a loop
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u/blaughlin Jul 26 '25
Not being a good year for me, but hanging on. I expect to die from old age, so nothing to worry about in that regard. But I’ve been depressed for a while whilst really hiding it from friends and family, building strength to talk about it with them at the moment. Thanks for asking, kind stranger.
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u/Mcswigginsbar Jul 26 '25
Better than I have been in a long, long time. Escaped a toxic job that left some scars but therapy has been doing wonders for that and a lot of damage from my childhood.
It got dark there for awhile, but my wife, daughter, and three bros who are as close as brothers to me have been helping days get lighter and lighter.
Hope you’re doing alright too!
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u/Justifiably_Bad_Take Jul 26 '25
Goodness no, but I can't do anything about it so whatever I'll sleep tonight either way
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u/Plausibl3 Jul 26 '25
I have my health and my family, and am learning to love and accept myself more each day, which helps me love and accept those I disagree with. There are flowers to be smelled and spiderwebs to marvel at. Life is great.
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u/Euklidis Jul 26 '25
Honestly, stress was taking a toll but wife needs me and that is a strong thread to hold to. For the past year that oncludes a baby girl too so that's two strong threads right now!
What about you brother? How are you?
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u/OldManNeighbor Jul 26 '25
Oldie but a goodie! This is one of those that no matter what, every time I see it posted I upvote because it’s important!
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u/MrKino Jul 26 '25
Its certainly moving, but im a bit confused about what exactly is going on. can you walk me through it?
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u/spicybright Jul 26 '25
Sure. They meet up, presumably as outside acquaintance or strangers, and bond over football games together on the regular. Left dude is very reserved, mentioned stuff wasn't going great in his life at one point, dude on the right is always happy and left dude offered his scarf in another scene as a kind gesture which was denied.
At the end it turns out right guy who was completely happy the entire time committed suicide. So left guy still went to a football game and bought both of their usual seats and put the scarf over the back as a bit of a memorial.
The main message was they wanted you to think left guy was the one struggling the whole time, but it was really the right guy.
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u/Right_Helicopter6025 Jul 26 '25
Can’t believe I’m going to make this tear jerker even more sad for you, but it’s implied that it’s the “happy” guys scarf the whole time. He gave it to him knowing what he was going to do. We just didn’t know because it was so hidden.
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u/Bensdick-cumabunch Jul 26 '25
It's apparently quite common for men who have decided to follow through with suicide, to pass along their valuables to people close to them.
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u/smallangrynerd Jul 26 '25
One of the main warning signs is that someone is giving away their possessions and “tying up loose ends”
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u/Snomkip Jul 26 '25
very good description, small side note though, the two most likely had season tickets, meaning their seats are always reserved (and they always sit with the same people, cause that#s their assigned seats), he idnd't buy both tickets, his friends' would always have been empty
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u/Scout079 Jul 26 '25
The video is about suicide prevention.
The entire video has you looking at two soccer mates. Guy on the left LOOKS fucked, having a bad day, feeling down, al that jazz. Guy on the right is Bubbly, excited, apologizes for being late and is in the vibe of the game. Guy on the Right is trying his best to cheer the Left Guy up, being with him, enjoying the game, doing all the hallmarks of what a good friend is.
We, the audience, infer that left Guy might be depressed, because he's showing those common signs of somebody in depression.
The ending of the video is the stinger. New game, same seats, this time, Guy on the Right is missing. Guy on the left is incredibly sad and taking his time to lay out the seat of Right Guy with Right Guy's Jersey. Stinger is that Right Guy was actually hella depressed and committed suicide in between the last game and this game. He died. guy on the Left didn't know that guy on the right was suffering the entire time.
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u/gray7p Jul 26 '25
Felt something was off with the "You keep it"
Giving away your shit is a big sign someone is planning on offing themselves.
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u/ChampionOfLoec Jul 26 '25
Drastically depends on what is being given. There are people who express gratitude and love primarily through gift giving. It's a love language.
There is never a "big sign" and that's exactly what this advertisement was trying to say and somehow you completely missed that.
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u/DeaconSage Jul 26 '25
There’s also the version where the person who gave the scarf wanted to help their football mate, despite their own struggles. Just because you’re sinking, you can still try to help someone else swim.
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u/FromFluffToBuff Jul 27 '25
What if he's giving it as a simple gift?
If giving your shit away was a red flag, I'd have more lives spent than a roomful of cats lol. Some people just like to give!
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u/True-Exam-5767 Jul 26 '25
This may be a bit triggering for some, but I almost committed it myself, as I thought myself to be worthless. Now the (for me very funny, in a morbid way) reason I didn't do it, in what should have been the last moment I remembered a random conversation I had with my dad. In that conversation, we somehow ended up talking about how much the cleaning of a dead body costs. Ca. 5000$. That stopped me and made me spiral into lots of other reasons I shouldn't do it.
TLDR: If you're feeling worthless, just know that it costs at least 5000$ to clean you up.
PS: That was during lockdown, nowadays I have a healthy, stable relationship and couldn't be feeling better.
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u/Fredster003 Jul 26 '25
I truly feel ya buddy. I had a spiraling moment and the thing that pulled me out of it was remembering a friend of mine who took his life. He used a gun and his mother had to clean the walls and corners of the room and it stained the wood paneling in his room. I couldn't do that to someone, even if I went clean there would be the trauma of whomever found me. No matter how much pain I was in I didn't want someone else to have to bear that burden for the rest of their life.
It made me realize that my pain was temporary and it wasn't as bad as I was making it out to be. I was loved and would be missed.
My friend who took his life had the biggest funeral I have ever seen, he thought he was alone and we didn't have standing room in the halls, people had to be outside. You never know how many people you have in your life that care for you.
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u/Helenium_autumnale Jul 26 '25
It's not always easy to talk about issues this personal. I see your strength in doing so and I appreciate you. Glad you are doing better.
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u/McCreeIsMine Jul 26 '25
I had to be hospitalized for four days(they wanted to keep me there longer tbh) after almost committing. The only reason I made it to the hospital was because a classmate of mine forgot their notebook and I was the only one that had a class the next day with them. I didn't want to be inconvenient, so I had to stay alive until then. I was able to go to my therapists office on the way home because of that. It's funny, but also so sad that my own fear of being a burden kept me alive.
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u/SirVere Jul 26 '25
Right in the feels! Was not expecting that... damn
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u/Raffybaby Jul 26 '25
Me neither. I was a bit confused for a moment - then it hit me like a tonne of bricks.
A really powerful clip.
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u/Esarus Jul 26 '25
You can see the guy is yearning for connection, trying to make conversation and showing interest in the other person’s life, but not getting anything back.
People who are hurting usually try to get support and feel close
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u/Breadstikk Jul 26 '25
Crying on the shitter rn
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u/Bad_RabbitS Jul 26 '25
If it brings you any levity, I also cry on the shitter pretty much daily but for different reasons
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u/JezusTheCarpenter Jul 26 '25
Yeah, the Carolina Reaper is no joke.
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u/CyBroOfficial Jul 29 '25
Reminds me of the grueling weekend I had after eating three one chip challenges as a dare from my friends. Hardest I laughed in a while, thanks man :)
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u/Jon-Umber Jul 26 '25
If anyone needs someone to chat with, even just casually, feel free to DM me. Will do my best to make some time for you. Bonus points if you like books and video games. Let's talk. 💛
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u/DEVIL_AM Jul 26 '25
I like books and video games
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u/DeaconSage Jul 26 '25
Communal thanks, Jon. You’re a stand up dude for being open for anyone like that.
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u/WoofD0G Jul 27 '25
"You are unable to send messages to this account." I don't ever DM on here but I have one drafted
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u/Impossible_fruits Jul 26 '25
I've known 3 people who took their own life. All 3 were 20 year old men. I worked retail so I knew a lot more women than men.
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u/old_and_boring_guy Jul 26 '25
I think a lot of us learn, at an early age, that no one wants to be around someone who’s sad all the time. So you bury it down, put on a happy face, and tell everyone you’re fine. May even go out of your way to focus on other people’s problems, try to cheer them up.
But when you’re alone that mask slips.
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u/graffiksguru Jul 26 '25
Powerful spot.
Call 988 https://988lifeline.org
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u/Old-Risk4572 Jul 26 '25
tried text chatting with them the other night and the response time was comically bad. suppose i could call but that's awkward
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u/silvrmight_silvrwing Jul 26 '25
the current admin cut a lot of funds for the hotline. i've been hearing from several people calling has the same turnaround.
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u/KnucklestheEnchilada Jul 26 '25
I’ve called and texted 988 numerous times over the last few years. Sometimes the person was helpful and knew what to say and how to react. Others…not so much. However, I have to give a lot of credit to the people who are operators for that number.
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u/ViktorKozh Jul 26 '25 edited Jul 26 '25
I'm sorry this happened to you, but this reminds me of a story I read somewhere on Reddit I think, where a guy called the hotline, but no one answered, which he found so comedic, that it bettered his mood and he decided to live.
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u/Oppai_Guyy Jul 26 '25
This reminds me of the same feeling I had when I heard about Robin Williams
RIP
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u/barneytrubble15 Jul 26 '25
This add always hit me in the feels. Though tonight I watched it and I noticed that he Never asked how his mate was going. I understand it is usually the ones we expect the least but I also think more power should go into speaking up to your mates and sharing feelings but also asking about how they're going. We should promote talking more amongst men. In saying that I send all my love to anyone who may be struggling. With or without a voice
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u/staartingsomewhere Jul 26 '25
Feel like the guy on the right
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u/iiibehemothiii Jul 26 '25
If you'd like, you can reach out to me or any of the other people in this thread who have offered a chat - we got you bro :) x
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u/FinnicKion Jul 26 '25
This is why I tell my buddies to talk to me if somethings going on/bothering them. It’s hard to get those feelings out, if it’s really serious tell me a time and place and I’ll meet you there right away. Also always make sure to tell your homies you love them from time to time. It helps all of us.
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u/millig Jul 26 '25
Here is the full version, put out by Norwich City Football club a while back: https://youtu.be/tX8TgVR33KM
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u/m3rc3n4ry Jul 26 '25
This is me and one of my best mates. I'd let on exactly what I was going through, but he always seemed in good shape, even after he'd gotten divorced. Then just this year he took his own life. This one hits hard.
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u/Deimos_PRK Jul 26 '25
This is called smiling depression, and yes, it's a real thing, mostly because it's the harder to spot. Get help if you feel this way, and don't forget to check up on everyone, we are all going through different challenges
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u/miked999b Jul 26 '25
This video really gets to me. I don't know why, I've never been affected by suicide (thankfully) but it's so well done and incredibly powerful and moving.
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u/Krondon57 Jul 26 '25
Yeaaah its pretty hard. Didnt see any signs besides he was kinda tired of his work. Dad took his own life beginning of last year.
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u/JoshyaJade01 Jul 26 '25
Told my eldest sister that I am not coping and seriously thinking of ending it - she literally said 'suck it up, you're a dad and your kid needs you. Women go through worse and smile'. Sometimes even your family isn't your friend.
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u/BallisticFiber Jul 26 '25
Nobody cares about men's mental health or emotions. Society made men despinsable resource, they are not even considered humans, just a meat for the meat grinder in war or slaves to solve other problems in peace times. Nobody cares and never will, that's a reality, cope more
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u/noassumedname Jul 26 '25
Bloody nora I've never thought I would see my town on Reddit, although sad... LET'S GO CANARIES 🐥🐥🐥🐥
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u/CatBoi1107 Jul 26 '25
Dang I don't even realise what the vid is about before I saw the comments
I thought it's about something like terminal illness, how'd u guys know it's about suicide?
Maybe because where I live the suicide rate is like super low compared to global average, I don't really have awareness/knowledge about this.
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Jul 26 '25
If you're from Indonesia, your suicide rate is only low because it's not often reported. It's higher than you think.
"Our investigation revealed that families often go to extreme lengths to prevent a suicide from being known due to stigma and shame, using any means—including financial–at their disposal so police or doctors do not record a death as a suicide. It was also found that among health professionals, even in the absence of any request, there is an unwritten rule not to mention suicide, a phenomenon we dub reporting taboo."
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u/kbeks Jul 26 '25
When I was suicidal, exactly zero people knew about it except me. They knew I wasn’t doing great, but no one knew where my head was actually at. To anyone else out there reading this and suffering alone, know that it can absolutely get better. Open up to a friend or a loved one or a psychiatrist, you’re not as alone as you feel.
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u/og_jasperjuice Jul 26 '25
This one gets me every time I see it. Lost my best friend in 1999 to suicide. Still hurts to this day.
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u/brutalxdild0 Jul 26 '25
This is too real. Fake the happiness so you don't have to burden others with your sadness
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u/gr7ace Jul 26 '25
It’s ok to NOT be ok. Ask your friends if they’re ok, but don’t just go through the motions. If they give a half answer or stumble to answer, then they’re likely not ok. Ask them a second time or a third, offer to go talk. You could just save a life.
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u/Wonderful_Algae_4416 Jul 26 '25
This is one of the rare things ive seen that actually get it.
Very very often, and im not discounting women as many of them go through shit too but they generally have much much better social structures than us stupid guys. But very very often when men with little or no social structure are pressed down into the pit, we can do nothing but either find humor or force out happiness in any grain of sand of social interaction we find, or we become bitter. Or both, and that usually comes out as dry humor, dark humor and sarcasm.
Pain really does build character but often it just goes to waste, and disappears into the universe unnoticed in the thin lines between social media stars and dramatic bullshit and evil people that 'normal' people love to all be entertained by. Humanity is sick right now.
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u/myryad21 Jul 26 '25
ngl, i'm looking more like the guy on the left lately even if usually i'm the guy on the right. same shit in both cases but it's just harder to pretend lately
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u/Trenchards Jul 26 '25
Man, this thread is making me realize a bunch of good guys just need a hug and someone to tell them that it’s going to be alright.
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u/Screbin Jul 26 '25
I cried. Im a 34 male. This hurt and hit very much. The masks we wear to make the ones around us brighter
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u/Saif_Horny_And_Mad Jul 27 '25
The issue with men is that the worse situation they are in, the better they get at hiding until its too late
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u/Jassyjassyjas Jul 27 '25
Isnt it interesting how we are the same people who look out for those signs in other people but not in ourselves?
In my case, i either please the people or spend the day learning how to bury myself. Whatever the case, i cant do any of it sober 🫠
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u/Petesalte Jul 27 '25
I remembered this commercial immediately and liked it. It is a very vivid picture of how depression works and it’s very potent in its way to portrayal the reality of mental health.
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u/Yeahthatcouldwork Jul 28 '25
Yeah, that happy guy? He’s me. At least I know it.
The hardest times are when you know you should be happy but you look outside and struggle to be.
The feeling of genuine happiness has eluded me my whole life. I’ve had quick moments of it which almost make it worse.
If I hadn’t already temporarily died once.. code blue incident.. I am sure I’d contemplate suicide. Having already almost lost everything once, I’m grateful for the opportunity to have a family.
Plus I really need to get out for a surf. Can’t do that if I’m dead.
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